One of the most irritating writing habits for an editor to correct is poor sentence structure. As an editor, I don’t mind weak sentences, but poorly structured sentences in rapid repetition will make me want to claw my eyes out. I find my brain stuttering over them. Fragments, comma splices, run-ons—oh, my!
However…
Did you see my sentence fragment up there? Did you notice it? Did it hurt your brain, or did it remind you of The Wizard of Oz?
In writing, there’s a place for everything, even poorly structured sentences. When you know the rules, you can break them and strengthen your voice, style, and impact.
The Sentence Fragment Defined
A sentence fragment is, at its simplest, an incomplete sentence. So, because it’s useful to look at the right way first, let’s define a complete sentence. For a sentence to be complete, it must have three things:
A subject (the actor in the sentence—a noun, proper noun, or pronoun)
A predicate (the verb or action)
A complete thought (it makes sense on its own—it’s independent)
A complete sentence can be as short as two words:
Ann cried.
Or, a sentence can be very lengthy and contain several thoughts:
After the fairies taunted her all morning, and because her tunic was stained with huckleberry juice from the food fight, Ann cried under the oak tree until the sun dried the hill.
A fragment is a dependent clause that is left to twist in the wind, lonely and without purpose or meaning:
After the fairies taunted her.
Because her tunic was stained.
What do these fragments have in common? They start with subordinators. Take off the subordinator at the beginning and voila! You have a complete sentence: “The fairies taunted her. Her tunic was stained.”
Another common sentence fragment is the prepositional phrase left to stand alone. For example, in the sentence above, “under the oak tree” is a prepositional phrase. To leave it on its own creates a sentence fragment because 1) there is no verb or action, and 2) it doesn’t express a complete thought. “Ann cried under the oak tree” is a complete sentence.
But, I like fragments!
I am the first to admit that I love fragments. I think they add punch to our writing when used appropriately and infrequently. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to use fragments in the following cases:
Dialogue: This is the ideal place for fragments, and they can improve dialogue and make it sound more realistic. People rarely speak in complete thoughts, and in the flow of conversation, fragments are common. One very common use of fragments is with a question/answer exchange:
“Why did she leave?”
“Because the king threatened her life.”
“When will you come home?”
“After the tribal hunt.”
Rapid Action Sequences: Action sequences are a great place for prepositional phrase fragments or verb fragments. Used carefully, single verbs and lone prepositional phrases can add urgency and intensity to a scene without miring it in proper structure. Here are a few fragments that I think you could justify using in an action sequence:
Stab, parry, slice.
Notch, aim, release.
Down the hill, into the melee.
Around the tree, over the stream.
If you put fragments like those in the midst of complete sentences, and you use them sparingly, they’ll heighten tension and action without making the reader’s brain stutter.
Poems and Songs: You don’t have to be a poet or a songwriter by trade to make up pieces for your fantasy, and these little interludes are perfect opportunities to play with sentence structure and rhyme. Here’s a stanza from a song I wrote for Ravenmarked:
I dreamed of distant warhorn’s call,
Of steadfast lion’s pride,
Of sunset over blooded isle,
Of darkened raven sky.
Okay, technically, if you put that all together, it’s almost a complete, if somewhat unconventional, sentence. But on their own, lines two through four are fragments. The point is you have freedom and flexibility within the constraints of poetry and song to play with structure. Use it.
Exclamations: The best example is one similar to what I used at the beginning of this article—the three nouns plus “oh my!” Almost any grammatical oddity can be forgiven within an exclamation.
I love my fragments, and I use them perhaps a little too much. I think they contribute to a more conversational, engaging tone, and they can add a lot of impact when used carefully. But as always, too much of anything is…well, too much. So go forth and fragment your thoughts, but be judicious about it. If your brain stutters, so will your readers’.
Next week: My thoughts on the hero spectrum.
In two weeks: Comma splices and the run-on sentence.
