Character Immersion And The Narrative Voice

The protagonists in a story are the reader’s window into the world, and getting the narrative voice of your character right is one of the hardest techniques to master. If you can really ground the narrative in the character’s POV (point of view) the reader will by fully immersed in the story and it will seem much more real. This article will look at ways to shape your writing so that your protagonist’s character comes across in every pore of your work.

Creating immersive characters is a global process, touching on numerous aspects of the writer’s art. The best way to learn this style of writing is to study the work of successful authors; Joe Abercrombie makes a great example as his writing is very grounded in his characters. To start we’ll look at his introduction to the crippled character Glokta and his obsession with stairs:

They’re everywhere. You really can’t change floors without them. And down is worse than up, that’s the thing people never realise. Going up, you usually don’t fall that far.

He knew this flight well. Sixteen steps, cut from smooth stone, a little worn in the centre, slightly damp, like everything down here. There was no banister, nothing to cling to. Sixteen enemies. A challenge indeed. – Joe Abercrombie

From the moment we are introduced to this character, we are introduced to his pain and infirmity. This man is walking through a dungeon where unspeakable horrors are being inflicted behind closed doors, and all he can think about is the stairs. What a character focuses on and why it’s an important part of the narrative voice reveals parts of the character’s personality to the reader, like Glokta’s lack of empathy for others because he is consumed by his own pain.

To keep the story centred on your protagonist, you must work to present the world as they see it. And this isn’t just about what the character notices, the language they use is important as well. It’s important to coach the narrative in the right tone, how the author would describe something may not necessarily be how the protagonist would. Many writers pride themselves on their eloquence and deft writing style, but when you’re writing from the perspective of a savage barbarian, you probably shouldn’t use a word like ‘superfluous’. Try to curb your desire for fancy writing, focus on how the character would say it. I think it was Neil Gaiman who said, “Style is the art of getting yourself out of the way, not putting yourself in it.”

Perspective is key when creating your narrative voice; it affects not only the character, but can influence how the reader sees the world and informs their thoughts on the story. Also, by letting the character’s personality come through in the writing, you can liven up the narrative and make sure every line is interesting. Let’s take a basic description of an office block and see what we can do with it.

The forty story office block shot up from the ground to scrap the heavens. It towered over the nearest structures, capturing the sunrise a hundred times across the rows of windows lining its surface.

It’s a nice enough description, a bit of imagery and detail, but it lacks any real character, and is an obvious line from the author setting the scene. Next we’ll try it from a character’s perspective.

Charles straightened his tie and walked up to the gleaming structure that was the Globex central headquarters. Polished steel and chrome shone in the morning sun, greeting the new day with the vigour and pride that had kept it going for twenty years. The company logo stood prominently on one face of the building, a beacon of strength and prosperity to those below.

Now the writing has a bit of character, it’s coloured by the opinions of the man describing it, positive language that paints the structure in a good light. As the reader we might logically assume that this is a good place, perhaps it will serve as the hub for the characters in the story. When it comes to Charles we can glean from his manner that he’s an officious suit type, possibly very work-focused and business like. This is established with little description of Charles himself, but implied by the narrative voice. Other characters though, may view the scene differently, and you need to work to make sure their view of the world comes across, making one protagonist’s narrative voice different from another. Let’s try it again:

Jack glanced sidelong at the corporate eyesore that broke its way into the otherwise picturesque skyline. The dreary grey surface was broken by regular rows of windows that looked into the soulless structure. Inside dead men in suits crunched away the future, safe in their fortress of banal mediocrity.

This passage has a totally different tone, we have no details of the character but I bet you’re already coming up with an image. Perhaps a scruffy teenager, slogans on his shirt, brimming with contempt for authority and ‘the man.’ Jack’s view of the world is completely different to that of Charles, and it should be reflected in the writing. Charles chooses to mention the company logo, possibly because it represents a part of his identity. While Jack talks about the building’s bureaucratic inhabitants because they represent a class he despises. How they narrate, how they describe something, is almost as important as what they are saying. Think of the character’s narrative voice as an accent to your writing, when you write for them be sure to maintain that accent throughout.

Another way to ground the narrative into the character is to narrow the focus of your writing. Try to imagine your story seen through a camera, instead of taking the wide, panning shot, go for a tight lock on the protagonist. Their reactions and thoughts about events are important, and can liven up the narrative voice. Again to use Glokta as an example, being physically crippled, he is a character very much in his head, and so it’s his thoughts rather than his actions that make up much of his chapters. Glokta’s sarcastic wit and dark humour provide much of the entertainment in his chapters, serving as a running source of entertainment as the plot progresses:

Will they find me in the canal tomorrow? Dead and bloated, far…far beyond recognition? The only emotion that he felt at the idea was a flutter of mild relief. No more stairs. – Joe Abercrombie

What point of view the author is writing from can influence how you structure the narrative voice, but the basic principles are the same. Whether you’re writing in first or third person the key is to soak the writing in the character. Third person might be better suited to showing how your character interacts with the world, while first person provides an easy line for introspection, but both styles can be used effectively.

They call me a monster and it if were untrue the weight of my crimes would pin me to the ground. I have maimed and I have murdered and if this mountain stood but a little higher I would cut the angels from their heaven. – Mark Lawrence

This is the opening to a short story by Mark Lawrence from the perspective of the infamous Jorg. This short passages exudes malice and sinister confidence, it reveals the character’s personality as someone who revels in his identity as a monster. The use of first person here provides a good opportunity to get into the character’s mind, a technique Lawrence uses to explore the character of Jorg throughout his books, playing on our morbid fascination with such a dark protagonist. Lawrence works hard at grounding his stories in Jorg, making sure his worldview comes across in every line.

Now if the author is going for a more omniscient viewpoint then this style can be counterproductive, and when the writing dips between different characters it can be hard to justify digging the narrative into their psyche, only to be uprooted again. However, the full omniscient point of view is fairly rare in contemporary fiction, and I think a story can be so much stronger if it’s firmly enmeshed within a great character.

While we’ve been focusing on character, there is always the balancing act to consider – the author must deal with the needs of the story as well as its portrayal from the perspective of the character. If the narrative is so entrenched in a half-wit protagonist who would miss key details, the author must find a way to bring them to the fore. If you’ve created a dynamic and engaging character it can be easy to run with it, but remember to weigh the important narrative information against keeping the writing entertaining – every line should be able to justify itself.

Narrative voice is a huge concept to cover in such a short article, but hopefully these basics will allow you to delve a little more deeply into your characters and really sell the story as if it was coming from their mouths. It’s fine to have a story that conjures up pretty pictures, but another to read something so real that you can practically live it along with the character.

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