We fantasy authors do have our demons, don’t we? Besides those in our stories, I mean. We’re prone to prologues and infodumps. We think a novel of 150,000 words is a little on the short side. And we roll around in description like pigs in mud.
I totally understand why we love our long descriptions and passages rife with adverbs, adjectives, and superlatives. We want to build worlds that our readers can visualize and appreciate as much as we do. We want the world to “pop” in the reader’s mind the way it does in our own, and sometimes, language just feels woefully inadequate to carry out that task. We might also bring our writing backgrounds into our worlds. A writer of poetry might be looking to recreate that kind of lyric imagery in prose, or a journalist might overcompensate for all that time spent trimming words and watching length. And then there’s just the fact that we love using all those words. It can be dang fun to try out the thesaurus, you know?
The truth is that it’s really easy to go overboard on description. While you do want your reader to have a clear visual of your world, you also have to remember that too many descriptors can make a reader feel like he or she is wading through a swamp.
So how much is too much? And how much is enough? Well, obviously, there’s some subjectivity to it. One reader might find an author’s use of description poetic and lush, while another reader thinks the same description is heavy and painful to slog through. But with that caveat in mind, consider some of the guidelines that I believe lead to a healthy amount of description.
• Limit character descriptions. Readers actually need far less physical description than we think. Give a few lines when a characterfirst steps on stage and let the reader take it from there. You can also drop subtle reminders throughout your story. Rather than repeat that your hero is tall, show us that the heroine has to stand on tiptoes to kiss him.
• Remember to show, don’t tell—but don’t overdo it! I love this Chekhov quote: “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” It’s a wonderful quote because it’s true—the glint of light off broken glass tells us a lot more about the scene than “the moon was shining.” However, consider the entire scene before you dive into intense, lush descriptive passages. If you have a lot of strong, intense dialogue going on, breaking it up for the sake of some poetic description may make your tension drop off. Will putting in description mean that you sacrifice something else that’s more important at that moment?
• Replace verbs and –lyadverbs with stronger verbs. I’ve written about this one before. I’m not a complete adverb hater, but the –ly adverbs do tend to be weak descriptors, especially when overused. When you find yourself modifying a verb with an –ly adverb, see if you can find a stronger verb. For example, “he walked quickly” might be better as “he marched” or “he sprinted.” “Marched” and “sprinted” both tell us that he’s likely in a hurry, but there are different connotations to the words, and you can set the scene better with a stronger verb. Stronger verbs make better descriptors.
• Take out one adjective (or descriptor) before you declare a sentence done. When I write long, descriptive sentences, I tend to put an adjective or two before almost every noun. I’m learning, though, that descriptive words and phrases are like fashion accessories. Take the advice of Coco Chanel: “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” Quite often, if I pick one noun that I want to highlight, I can eliminate most of my other adjectives, streamline my sentence, and actually make the description more vivid. Because, as Chanel also said, “less is always more.”
• Try to avoid overwriting or exaggerating. I always get tense when I hear people say, “my business just exploded.” I know what they mean—that business got really busy really fast—but I always picture widgets strewn all over the street. Make sure you aren’t using verbs or descriptions that will make skeptics and cynics raise an eyebrow and think, “really? Exploded?”
• Trust the reader. Readers are smart, and they like to use their imaginations. Your goal should be to describe your setting, people, world, magic, etc. just enough to seed the imagination. Let the reader’s mind be the soil where the world takes root and grows.
Again, this is all really subjective stuff. I think a decent starting point is to follow some of these guidelines and then read your work with a cynic’s eye. If there’s too much description for you, chances are good that there’s too much for other readers. Likewise, if your beta readers say they can’t picture something, you probably went too light on the description. Finding the right level of description for your work is tricky, but when you hit that “sweet spot,” you’ll know it.
Next week, some guidelines for writing flashbacks.
