We live in a modern world where fantasy is king. Some of the hottest films in the world right now are based on fantasy, with this summer alone being populated with Green Lanterns, boxing robots and thunder gods. Even the Oscars, who in the past have been notoriously anti-fantasy (robbing the Lord of the Rings for years), this year include nominations for How To Train Your Dragon and Alice in Wonderland. Werewolves, once the stuff of nightmares, have devolved from lightening fast killers into posters of Taylor Lautner on every 13-year-old girl’s bedroom wall. These days, Dracula no longer melts in the sunshine; he just sparkles like a chandelier, and hangs around with Anna Paquin and Boone from Lost.
My point? My point is that even with all the watered down fantasy surrounding our everyday lives, why when we, as fans of fantasy fiction, tell people what we like to read, do we always get that same, awkward and slightly squinted look? The look that says, “You weirdo.”
You know the look I mean.
You’re sitting there on your lunch break and a person from human resources decides to take an interest in your life and asks what it is you’re reading. The moment that they hear the word fantasy they recoil slightly as their mind rushes to imagine what fantasy you are currently enjoying. Congratulations, you have just become some Thatcherite Tory MP (UK Political Party) being strung up by his balls while a fat guy in a leotard tickles your face with a pink feather duster.
“No, No, NO! That’s not me,” you protest. “I’m not into THAT kind of fantasy. I’m in to stuff like Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman and China Meiville.”
At this, their face goes blank. Who are these people you just mentioned? That doesn’t sound like Mills and Boone to me?
“No, they are fantasy authors,” you say. Hmm, how can you explain fantasy to this person?
“Urm…okay, have you seen The Lord of the Rings?”
The moment you say Lord of the Rings the person you’re talking to suddenly thinks, “Talking dragons.” You want to correct them and say that actually, there are no talking dragons in The Lord of the Rings, and they are, in fact, thinking of Smaug from The Hobbit. You don’t correct them though, because you’re afraid they’ll think you’re some kind of weirdo but sadly the damage is already done. They’re thinking of talking dragons and now you’re once again being fixed with the squinted eye look, but this time it isn’t the “I wonder where he keeps his gimp suit” look, it’s now become the “talking dragon” look.
The “talking dragon” look leaves you labeled. No longer do you sleep like normal folk; now you stalk the midnight shadows eating vermin. What are you doing this weekend? Well, you’ll be frequenting dank cellars dressed as a warrior elf with D6 magic and the fiery power of Greyskull with +1 defence.
So how do you avoid being forever known as Frodo?
You could ask this person from HR what they are interested in and when they say gardening you could give them the same squinted weirdo look right back, but no, don’t do that because you are above such condescension. These people need to be educated, but how?
I have some suggestions.
First of all there’s the Disney defence. Everyone loves Disney films, which is why this argument could win over non-believers. Y’see, back in the good ol’ days when the world was black and white and Blu-Rays didn’t exist (can you imagine such horror?) there was little variety in films. If you didn’t like Clark Gable then you were pretty much resigned to the classic Disney films that currently fill up your grandparents’ VHS draw. So ask those bearing the “talking dragon” look, what would Cinderella be without the fantasy element of talking mice and a pumpkin that turns in to a stage coach? It would be Bippity-boppity-boring.
This argument isn’t guaranteed to work though, because the mention of Disney could bring back memories of Mufasa dying in the Lion King and then you are forever known amongst your colleagues as “Frodo who made Maurine from Accounts Dept cry.”
Argument number two is the Bible argument. The Bible is the biggest selling book of all time and millions of people live their lives by it. Whether you yourself believe the Bible or not, these millions of people practice their lives in accordance with a book that tells of talking snakes, two of every animal cohabitating on a cruise, people being turned in to pillars of salt and even the sea being parted. With all due respect, it is arguably the greatest fantasy story ever told. Surely if a snake can talk, then talking dragons aren’t much more of a stretch, are they?
However, the Bible argument is probably best avoided, because if Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code has taught me anything it’s that a dispute of faith brings the wrath of Sir Ian McKellen, and no one messes with Magneto.
So what can we do to convert the masses to fantasy and thereby destroy the “talking dragon” stigma? I rub my chin menacingly until it hits me like a lightning bolt to the forehead…my argument is Harry Potter.
Harry Potter has magic, dragons, werewolves and manages to make broomsticks cool; it is the ultimate fantasy. The books, films and merchandise are worth billions, which by default makes the story cool. If you haven’t read the books then you are so uncool you’re warmer than sweating salami.
So chances are that if you ask someone whether they like Harry Potter or not they will say yes, even if they don’t actually like him, because peer pressure can be a wonderful thing. Once they’ve said yes then you have them in your clutches.
“What about those dragons in the The Goblet Of Fire? Cool right? Then you should check out some Christopher Paolini…” And so on.
You can win this.
N.B. This argument can also be good for picking up allies as talk of Harry Potter will often prompt someone nearby to chip in with something like, “Did you hear that Dumbledore’s actually gay?” and discussion begins.
If however, you unfortunately find yourself in a room full of ardent Potter haters then I’m sorry mon frère, you have no choice but to hide your fantasy novel inside a copy of their favourite gardening magazine and forever risk their inane questions about plant pots and weed killer. At least you’ll finally fit in with the sheep.
Good luck fantasy fan.
