Frodor’s Travel Guide: The “Bad Economy” Issue

This month’s travel guide is based on Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn Trilogy. More information on the series can be found at brandonsanderson.com. You can also read Fantasy-Faction’s review of the first Mistborn novel here.

Welcome

After a long dormancy spent weathering the economy, Frodor’s is back and better than ever! Don’t make that face, we know you missed us. Speaking of a bad economy, have we got the vacation spot for you! Frodor’s travel pick of the month is the Central Dominance.

Located snuggly in—you guessed it—the center of the Final Empire, the Central Dominance isn’t really a trip you’re supposed to enjoy. It’s more about taking in an environment so much more destitute and worse off than your own that, by comparison, you start to feel pretty good about your own life.

If this potentially depressing trip is your kind of party, come have a look!

Editor’s note: Possible Book One Spoilers.

Mistborn Travel - Map 1

More modern sensibility than our last pick (see: Frodor’s Travel Guide), but you’re not exactly going to be kicking back with air conditioning and a movie after a long day. Just think of it like a camping trip—except you really don’t want to be outside at night, so more like an indoor camping trip.

Started in 2006, development of the Final Empire was finished in just over two years. Best of all, amenities were updated less than a year ago, so this is a great time to visit. Less chance your garden-view room will actually be a construction-view room.

Travel requirements to the Central Dominance can be challenging, but it’s nothing a little old-fashioned preparation won’t solve. In addition to the standard inter-dimensional passport, you will also need a special travel dispensation from the Canton of Orthodoxy, which you MUST keep on your person at all times. If you do not, you will be treated as a common skaa; which is to say, you will be beaten often and severely for no apparent reason. Also, since the skaa are basically living doormats, no one will care.

Not to scare you or anything.

When To Go

This is one of the few places that it really doesn’t matter. Seriously, nothing has changed in like a thousand years. No seasons, low tourism, and cheap exchange rates make this a winner all year round. Sure, endless ash falling from the sky means you can’t wear your favorite white skinny jeans, but hey, at least the weather is consistent.

Exception: Under no circumstances should you be anywhere in the vicinity of the Final Empire on Koloss Head-munching Day.

Where To Stay

Kredik Shaw: $$$$$
A feat of architecture more terrifying than beautiful, it’s best to approach from the Pewter Gate and follow the main thoroughfare for optimal sightseeing and street shopping.

Shopping Tip: Be wary of metal sellers without proper identification. Stolen/knock-off metals will always make you sick—especially if you aren’t an allomancer. Just remember, no one forced you to swallow those iron shavings.

Truth be told, Kredik Shaw is generally considered one of the most over-rated places to spend the night in all of Luthadel. Do you really want to sleep under the same roof as the Lord Ruler? Rumor has it he comes to your room at night to watch you sleep.

Pros: I’m sure it’s a lovely place to stay, really…for megalomaniacs.
Cons: Exorbitant rates, Spartan amenities, Lord Ruler is a known party-pooper who goes to bed early (trust me, this guy really needs his beauty sleep).

Keep Venture: $$ – $$$
Ball gowns and dance parties, need I say more? This is the real “it” place to be. The nightclub here is out of this world, complete with disco ball and strobe lights. If dancing doesn’t take your fancy, you can always skulk in the balconies and creepily watch your friends from above. It’s also a proven method for meeting the sloppily dressed intellectuals—if you’re into that sort of thing.

Pros: Best dancing in all the Final Empire, balconies are the ultimate wall-flower hangout.
Cons: Lord Venture’s a total ass, patrons can be snooty, loud music makes getting a good night’s sleep tough.

Yeden’s Caves: Free
If you like sleeping on a cave floor and waiting to get ambushed by the far more powerful forces of EVIL, then by all means, stay here for the night. Lodging is totally free. At least, until someone screws it up and gets you all murdered. Then I guess you could say it cost you your life. Har har. But seriously, you’ll be dead.

Pros: Free, fresh air?
Cons: Cave floor is only comfortable if you’re the cave, sleeping in armor sucks, imminent death.

Mistborn Travel - Map 2

What To Do

Mine for atium in the Pits of Hathsin
This is a “kill two birds with one stone” kind of activity. Do you like cool scars—especially matching ones on your forearms? Do you like rare metals that are so coveted they redefine “conflict metal”? Done. The Pits of Hathsin give you all this and so much more. Spelunkers will be right at home with plenty of narrow shafts and dark caverns.

Editor’s Note: Don’t be too successful finding atium, unless you want your visit to turn into something more…permanent.

Visit the Canton of Inquisition
These guys get a bad rap. You’d be freaky too if you had two metal spikes hammered into your head in place of eyes. I personally visited the Inquisition on “take your daughter to work day” this year. Games of twister, tug of war, and relay racing made for an unforgettable experience. We even sang camp songs around a bonfire. However, since Frodor’s has received some inconsistent opinions on this subject, I have to mention that your experience may vary.

Mistborn piggyback rides
My personal favorite, riding on the back of a Mistborn is like a more awesome version of zip-lining. Some groups will even take you outside the city walls to play tag with the mistwraiths. Make sure you select a reputable group, as these rides are thrilling, but dangerous. Keep Lekal generally has the highest safety ratings, though you’ll pay for it.

Money-saving tip: To save on costs, bring your own bag of coins for the ride.

Bottom-Line

Ashfall be damned, Lord Ruler be damned, if you’re strapped for cash and don’t have any weird mist/ash/metal-phobias, then this is the place to be. I promise that once you return, you will never feel sorry for yourself again.

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By David Carani

David Carani is a sci-fi/fantasy writer, slush reader at Lightspeed Magazine, and manufacturer’s rep. Like much of his generation, he grew up reading Brooks, Eddings, Farland, and Jordan – all after reading Tolkien, of course. Sixty or seventy years in the future, he plans to explain to younger generations how books were once "heavy" and how “moving your library” was a lot harder than click and drop…You can find him on twitter @djcarani or at http://agrainofstardust.wordpress.com/.

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