Killing Mary Sue

Back at the beginning of 2009, I made a momentous decision. I began to take my writing seriously. I’d spent the Christmas period having a complete break from all the things I’d been doing which had left me drained and read the entire Twilight series in a week. Yeah, I’ll admit I’d just turned 38 and I was reading a teeny story but it was an escape and is a nicely structured piece of storytelling. What struck me most was that Stephenie Meyer broke rules, something I’d always been scared of doing. I allowed that to stop me from writing.

So I sat down with my laptop and started writing. Sadly though I had the mantra in my mind ‘write what you know’; so I did. I wrote about a main character that was averagely pretty, had a chin length bob of dark brown curls, and favoured practical skirts and boots over skimpy dresses and heels. Now, can anyone guess what I looked like? Yep, you’re all right, you’ve won a ticket to Base Camp at Mount Publication.

OK, as if that wasn’t bad enough my main character had a cat. He was black. He had gold eyes and his name was Morpheus. Umm, do I need to say it? Yes, that is an exact description of my cat. He’s lovely, a character in his own right but to write him into a novel that was just full of similar mistakes was just daft.

I went off to my first writing circle and read out the beginning. I found myself stopping a couple of pages in because I was bored. Yep, that is to say, I was bored reading my own work to an audience. Oh dear.

Undeterred I waited for the feedback and was told that my writing was very descriptive and they were able to very clearly picture the scenery. I took this to be a good thing, and was encouraged. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was a bad thing, let’s face it, Patrick Rothfuss can keep us engaged with a description of an empty bar, but I was missing the fact that I’d failed to hook the reader into the story.

Off I went to the second writing circle. I read most of the first chapter and again got to a point where I felt sorry for my audience and still couldn’t see why. They pointed out that I was putting in every detail of every object, every moment and every dull bit in between. I hadn’t started with an interesting moment, just a mundane moving in scene which afforded me the opportunity to describe the house in depth in my opening. It was a lovely little house but yet another Mary Sue.

So, what is a Mary Sue?

Well, it’s pretty much everything I did in this first attempt. I had a story, one which I still believe in, but am yet to rework, but I didn’t have character development down so I relied on either what was in front of me, or what would be ideal. For example, the love interest was a Mr Nice Guy, exactly the kind of guy I would have been attracted to, never mind being the kind of guy my reader might want to hear about. If he hadn’t been a shapeshifter he’d have been very dull. I hadn’t learnt that flaws in a character tend to be more interesting.

Unperturbed I decided I would attend the Get Writing conference, just a few weeks later. They were running pitch sessions with editors and agents so I booked one…With John Jarrold, just one of the best known agents in SF and fantasy, no-one special. When I look back, I blush and wonder how I had the cheek!

So I attended the conference, my book was coming along, I’d reached about 35,000 words and I was the next J. K. Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, J. R. R. Tolkein. I’d had a couple of people read the rest of it and they liked it. By now you’ve probably guessed, it was my mum and a couple of close friends. Sigh.

The conference was a real eye opener. Agents, including John Jarrold, were running talks and saying, make sure it’s finished (Ooops), make sure it’s the best it can be (Ooops), get feedback from other writers, not just close people (Ooops) and most of all make sure it’s engaging and commercial (Ooops and Ooops again!).

Luckily enough, I was hungry for it and had taken a notebook and furiously took note of everything that was said. By now I was starting to realise my pitch was doomed. I went and did it anyway, three minutes selling myself and my book, no problem.

“Hello, I’m Sandra Norval and I’m writing a fantasy set in rural Hertfordshire. It’s a book based on British wildlife and there are shape shifters, a bit of love interest and potential for a series.”

Looking back, I wonder how John didn’t just laugh at me but now I know him well enough to talk about it and I know he’s a very approachable fair critic.

He told me this.

You need to consider the market. What is interesting readers right now? Where can you take it? What is different about your story? Are your characters strong enough to stand out in a crowd? He suggested I do some more reading but with the eye of a writer. I needed to consider what it was that made those books captivating to an audience, what hooked the reader, what was enticing about the main characters and the world they lived in? In essence, I needed to go away and learn to write a story. I wasn’t a bad writer as far as writing about something went, but I wasn’t a storyteller.

So I swallowed my pride and approached Toby Frost, a speaker at the event and as luck would have it, a member of the Verulam Writers’ Circle, the organisers. I asked him if he would have a read of my chapters and tell me where I was going wrong. He was busy working on the third Space Captain Smith book, Wrath of the Lemming Men, so I waited patiently for his response and a few weeks later he came up trumps.

He pointed out all the flaws that are now completely obvious to me and also sent me a link to a list of things that suggested your character was a Mary Sue. I’ll be honest, at the time I thought “Why’s he sent me that?” my characters are lovely! It took a bit of distance and reflection for me to see that his advice was spot on. (Thanks Toby!)

You would think that I would be embarrassed by this story with all my errors laid bare but actually I’m not and I share it with you for good reasons. First of all, I got my work out there, listened to the facts and learnt from them. There is no point in asking people to read your writing if you are not going to listen to what they have to say. That doesn’t mean they are always right, but it does mean you should at least stop to consider whether they are.

I followed the advice given at the conference and read other people’s work with a different eye and it soon became clear where my weaknesses were. This was not only a source of inspiration but also gave me a different perspective on what is commercial RIGHT NOW, as opposed to what was selling ten or fifteen years ago. It’s commonly said that Tolkein would struggle to get published now despite his continuing popularity.

I listened to the agent’s advice, thanked him for it and pressed on with a different novel using that advice. The other key point here is that when I was helping to organise the conference the following year I was able to have a conversation with him in which I discovered that he remembered me from that pitch. Instead of feeling embarrassed, I was pleased as that means I am now able to approach him about future work knowing that the ice has already been broken.

I learnt from the feedback from other writers, some published, some well on their way and my writing evolved as a result. My current work in progress is full of punchy characters that have flaws, have endearing qualities and are multi-dimensional. I feel that I could write engaging stories about any one of them. The world I’m creating isn’t based on idealism, in fact it has a gritty edge which really provides fodder for threats and issues to be dealt with.

There is also an added bonus outcome from all of this.

Because I didn’t just lose my cool and defend my work I maintained relationships with everyone that gave their time to help me. I could have just walked away and said, “Huh, what do they know?” I’ve known several writers who have done just that.

The fact is, they do know. They’ve been at the sharp end of publishing for far longer than I have and they truly want to help. We can all benefit from listening more when we are receiving critique. Yes, discuss what you were trying to achieve, but don’t dismiss what’s been said. Sometimes you won’t see it until much later but you’ll be glad when you do. If you dismissed the critique at the time, it’s already too late. Whereas you’ll keep the door open if you say, “Okay, I’ll have a think about that. Thank you.”

I owe big Thank You’s to Toby and John because it was their feedback that set me on a new path and I know that my more current work in progress is way better than that first effort as a result. Maybe it’s the one that will get me to the top of Mount Publication, maybe it isn’t but heck, I’m still learning!

Title image by st3to.

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