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A Fantasy Geek’s Guide to YouTube: Vampires

Vampires. They’re better than zombies. I’ve demonstrated this conclusively in a previous article. From True Blood to Let the Right One In to V Wars, vampires are all over literature, films and TV and they show no sign off stopping.

But let’s talk about vampires as they appear in that little corner of the world known as YouTube. This article will cover a mixture of critic videos, shows and RPG streams.

The Vampair Series

Daria Cohen (avatar)Created by the Israeli artist and animator Daria Cohen, this series of animated shorts set to music has taken the internet by storm. Drawing and animating a cartoon on your own while still doing a day job is incredibly time-consuming, so the series averages around one new episode a year. In between times, fans of the series can watch speed draws by Daria and listen to her chatting to her BFF Admin-Chan—a young British woman who is a singer, cosplayer and YouTuber in her own right. Cohen refers to fans of the series as ‘My Pretty Darlings’. And her Pretty Darlings are legion.

The story of Vampair concerns two main characters. A seemingly normal girl called Missi, who wanders into a vampire’s castle in order to find a suitable place to read a copy of Twilight. (Precisely why she does this has yet to be revealed.) And The Count. A flamboyant and cheerfully sinister vampire with a penchant for killer dance moves and an immense amount of dark power. He takes a cruel and lascivious interest in the little mortal who has wandered into his domain.

Daria Cohen - MissiFor each video Daria chooses a song which fits the emotions or attitude of one of the viewpoint characters and uses her animations to fill in the blanks. The first two songs are by The Count and come from the gothic-vaudeville recording artist Voltaire. They are “The Night” and “In the Land of the Dead”. Two later songs are in Missi’s voice: “F*ck You” by Lily Allen and “The Silent” by Tragic Tantrum.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that each of these songs was written specifically for the Vampair series. Every line, every note, is matched by the actions of the characters. The video for “In the Land of the Dead” is lively and grotesque and bouncy as a Halloween carnival. “The Silent” is fast and frenetic, building to a frantic crescendo before lapsing into melancholy—hinting at a mind on the verge of collapse.

The animations themselves are sumptuous masterpieces of campy gothica—creepy castles, pools of blood, skulls and spooks and scuttling horrors.

Daria Cohen - The CountThe Count, in particular, is all points and predatory charm with his impossibly long limbs, triangular face, needle-like ears, sharp shoes and devilish goatee. He is starkly drawn in red and black with a sinuous and operatic style of movement, complete with top hat and vampire cape. Voltaire’s songs give him a confident and showy voice backed up by a chorus of classical instruments.

Missi is, at first, drawn with softer lines and gentler colours befitting her innocence. But she is not without strength. She displays a more modern voice than The Count, drawing upon Lily Allen to vent her anger.

To speak more on this would be to reveal too much of the plot, I feel. And it wouldn’t take you long to get caught up. At the time of writing the series has four main episodes and three bonus scenes, each the length of a song. You could devour this whole series in a lunch break and still have time to share it with all your friends.

Just take care that it doesn’t eat you inside-out in the process!

Vampire Reviews

“Good ee-evenink. I am ze Maven of ze Eventide and velcome to Vampire Revyoooos.”

Maven of the EventideElisa Hansen dons the guise of the Maven of the Eventide in order to review all kinds of vampire media, including books, films, tv series and characters. She’s explored everything vampiric, from the iconic to the obscure, old to the new, artistically serious to the relentlessly comedic. Where else would you find a reviewer who’s done videos on Only Lovers Left Alive, Blood: The Last Vampire, The Lair of the White Worm and Count Von Count from Sesame Street?

Elisa, in her alter-ego of the Maven, has a wry and tongue-in-cheek style and plays up the ridiculous elements of her character. She stares longingly off camera and pines over romantic vampire icons like Lestat. She knocks her own ornaments over with too much vampiric arm-waving. She refers to her little son as her spawn. She begs any real vampires watching her videos to call her. During one early video, her then roommate (the acclaimed film-critic YouTuber Lindsay Ellis) burst in on her and demanded that she get a “real job”.

Stagey self-mockery aside, Hansen approaches her subject with a critical eye. She might be interested in just about anything to do with vampires but she’s not that easy to impress. She freely admits that most vampire films aren’t great. She dissects her subjects carefully, considering their history, their quality, their cultural impact and their commercial and artistic success or lack thereof. She takes a progressive and feminist view of vampire media and often finds her subjects wanting, teasing out problematic elements such as slut-shaming. She is particularly interested in the social commentary that can be extracted from gothic and vampiric themes. In short, there is a serious critic lurking beneath the stylised make-up, campy posturing and gorgeously gothic outfits.

Vampire Reviews (banner)

While I’m not the most qualified person to judge the quality of a critic, I’ve found a lot to enjoy in Hansen’s in-depth discussions of her many subjects. She is very knowledgeable about all things vampiric, and even if you’ve watched the films or shows she talks about there’s a good chance that you’ll learn something from her videos about them. Hansen’s body of work has given me a lot of food for thought and has, I think, made me a better SFF writer. Or at least, given me a more complete and thoughtful understanding of the themes of otherness, sexuality, gender, loneliness, class, social control and competing moralities, to name but a few.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (cover)At the time of writing Hansen and her partner are engaged in a long playthrough of the classic video game Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines. As they freely admit on the streams, they’re not very good at it and are quite happy to get advice from viewers. Still there’s something fun about listening to their banter and watching them stumble through this intricate yet often frustrating game. And it’s a great way to while away the dull hours between now and the release of Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2.

Other spooky treats on this channel include reviews of pumpkin beer and a couple of tours of Hansen’s ever-expanding collection of vampire-related books.

The Company of Death (cover)If you like vampires, or any kind of horror or gothic fiction, then you really should check this channel out. If you want to write gothic or vampire fiction, then don’t type another word until you’ve watched at least a few Vampire Reviews.

Speaking of vampire fiction. Hansen has written her own book called The Company of Death. It’s about a zombie apocalypse. (Boo!)

But it has vampires too and one of the main characters is the Grim Reaper himself. (Hurray!)

Vampire: The MasqueradeL.A. by Night

Geek and Sundry (logo)Geek & Sundry is Felicia Day’s company. She who reluctantly wears the crown of Queen of Geekdom. But most Factioners probably know Geek & Sundry as the people who make Critical Role. As far as makers of Tabletop Role-Playing Game (TTRPG) shows go, they’re the biggest name out there, no question of it.

So, it was pretty big news when Geek & Sundry teamed up with the resurrected White Wolf to create a new show to celebrate the release of the 5th Edition of Vampire: The Masquerade and the revamped version of the World of Darkness city sourcebook L.A. by Night. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun.)

This show features four vampires navigating the bloody politics of the newly shaken-up World of Darkness—a place where ancient sects of vampires fight ruthless, secretive wars even as various human organisations work to hunt them all down and other, even more powerful, supernatural beings pursue their own mysterious agendas. Old truths have been shattered and new alliances have been formed in these modern nights. Los Angeles has, for the past century or so, been controlled by various factions of the vampiric rebels called Anarchs. The Camarilla, the vampiric establishment, is very interested in taking it over once again, despite having their own problems to deal with. And the hunters of the New Inquisition are breathing down everyone’s undead necks.

Three Anarchs are tasked by their Baron (the de facto ruler of an Anarch fiefdom) to track down a newly created vampire who has been feeding in their territory. Upon locating her they take on the role of her teachers, inducting her into the world of vampires even as she challenges their beliefs about the way things should be.

Unusually for a TTRPG stream, the players are all professional actors and tend to stay in character throughout, blurring the lines between RPG and straight up drama. And they’re all gathered together in an actual set with multiple cameras, awesome costumes and the occasional prop. Fans of Critical Role will feel right at home.

Let’s meet the main cast.

L.A. by Night - Cast.jpg

Jason Carl of White Wolf Entertainment is a superb Storyteller for a vampire game (well actually he’s a GM but let’s not get into that debate again). He has great presence and speaks his lines with conviction. His voice is laced with gentle menace and becomes darkly seductive when tempting players into risky or wicked actions.

Erika Ishii plays Annabelle, the newly embraced Brujah. Erika clearly has a great deal of fun indulging Annabelle’s up-to-the-minute fangirl attitude, e.g. squeeing when she discovers the existence of vampires who not only do magic, but actually divide themselves up into Houses. (It’s just like Harry Potter!) For those who are unfamiliar with the World of Darkness Anabelle is the viewpoint character, asking the important questions like: “So, there are different kinds of vampires that can do different things, what can this Clan do then? Are ghosts real too? And werewolves?” As befits her Clan of warrior-rebels Anabelle is probably the most dangerous combatant in the coterie, though she’s far less willing to kill than most vampires. An idealist who sought to make the world a better place in life, Anabelle is determined to upend and rewrite the social order of the vampires’ hidden world, for the betterment of mortals and bloodsuckers alike.

Victor is played by B. Dave Walters who Geek & Sundry fans may recognise as Forkin Kunert from the Star Trek TTRPG show Shield of Tomorrow. The character of Victor was kind of the Dad of the group in Season One, keeping order and smoothing over problems. In Season Two his coterie-mates have already had occasion to criticise him for reckless moves and a habit of over-sharing. (It’s possible that this is a not-so-subtle revenge on his allies for all of the sensitive information pertaining to him that got spread about in Season One.) He’s a Ventrue so wealth and influence are his preferred superpowers. A former gangster and recording artist, Victor owns a club and spends much of his time live streaming with models, singers and other social media influencers. He hides in plain sight and dares his enemies to face the media storm that surrounds his every move. The ever-affable Walters presents an engaging and likeable character, even when he’s dealing ruthlessly with enemies and potential allies alike.

Nelly G, played by Cynthia Marie, has all the elegance and attitude of a highly-strung Hollywood fashionista backed up by powers she shouldn’t have access to and a talent for blade-work that hints at a past as an assassin or enforcer. She is a force to be reckoned with on any battlefield—social, physical or magical. And “Excuse you!” if you think you’re going to be the one to stop her. She’s Victor’s business partner and her range of fashion items and status as a style icon serve to strengthen and expand their shared brand. While she’s pretty obsessive about fashion, Nelly doesn’t come across as the classic Toreador limp-wristed artist type—no getting lost in the beauty of a painting for her. Marie plays the part to perfection, every hair-flip and hard stare reinforcing the image of a dangerous woman who believes herself to be the centre of the universe and isn’t entirely wrong.

Alex Ward plays Jasper. Though often absent in Season One, Jasper is a fan favourite and Ward gives an incredible performance. Jasper is a Nosferatu—a vampire clan who are all cursed with inhuman ugliness. This is a little understated in the show, being limited to pale make-up, yellow eyes and exposed fangs. Despite a strong moral compass and a glaring dislike for vampires (himself included), Jasper is the coterie member with the most inhuman motions and mannerisms, snarling and smirking and moving oddly. He’s instantly recognisable as a creature of the night even when he’s just listening and reacting to the other characters. This is a person who doesn’t like being a monster but has no delusions about still being human. Before Annabelle came on the scene Jasper was the group’s main muscle and still has a habit of getting his hands dirty. He’s also fascinated by the occult and has more than his fair share of awful secrets.

A whole host of guest stars turn up from week to week to bolster the cast. Including celebrity appearances from the likes of super-GM Satine Phoenix, star of Nerdist news Jessica Chobot, and Critical Role’s Taliesin Jaffe. One or two characters from V:TM Bloodlines actually turn up as well. My favourite guest character is the softly spoken and eerily elegant Tremere—Eva, who looks like the Ghost of Halloween Past.

I do wish that the main Malkavian guest character, X, had been written to be more frightening and less goofy. (Malkavian vampires are all insane in one way or another and I find them far more interesting when this isn’t played for laughs.) But the actor pulls off a fun performance and manages to inject some genuine pathos and darkness into the role from time to time. As with many characters in this show, there is more to him than meets the eye and I think he’s managed to capture a lot of hearts amongst the fanbase.

These characters explore many tangled plot threads as they navigate their way through the warring factions of the L.A. night.

Vampire - The Masquerade (cover)Fans of Vampire: The Masquerade lore will doubtless be fascinated (and/or enraged) by all the changes that recent events have wrought in this iteration of The World of Darkness. The Tremere are no longer magically controlled by their elders? The Setites have rebranded themselves as The Ministry and are teaming up with the Anarchs? Half of the Lasombra have joined the Camarilla?

*SHRIEKS*

THE LASOMBRA WOULD NEVER DO THAT!

*clears throat*

Apologies…

Anyway, if this is all new to you then prepare to be immersed in an incredibly rich, complex and horrific setting full of secrets and strangeness. Not to mention savage action, blood magic, monsters, mysteries, Machiavellian politics and acts of intolerable depravity.

Whether you are old blood or new, the plot keeps you guessing, the production values (as these sorts of shows go) are through the roof, and the actors and Storyteller are all hugely talented. I just can’t wait to get caught up with Season Two. And you shouldn’t wait to get started watching this awesome show!

While I’m too lazy to switch platforms, you may prefer to watch this show live on Twitch. If you’d like to know more about the characters and their world then you should check out the show’s homepage on Geek & Sundry.

However you watch it, it’s a great show!

The Lost Girls

Another RPG stream, The Lost Girls, hosted by The Web DM, is a reference to a certain famous 80s vampire film. The game is set in the fictional city of Deadwood (nicknamed New Vampsterdam by the supernatural community due to its high population of bloodsuckers) during the 80s. New Vampsterdam is, probably, in the USA but its culture is a blend of British, American and possibly Canadian to reflect the trans-Atlantic nature of its cast. It tells the story of five female vampires who ‘live’ together and look out for each other. A punk, a scholar, a scientist, a time-traveller and a spy, all baring fangs and fighting the thirst in their own ways.

Web DM (logo).jpg

You could say that if L.A. by Night is the industry behemoth crushing all opposition with sweet cameos and slick production values then The Lost Girls is the scrappy outsider determined to make a name for itself with just its wits and a few cameras.

That would be a little misleading, however. The cast of The Lost Girls are roleplayers rather than actors and I don’t get the impression that playing this game is anyone’s day job. But the line between professional and amateur on streaming platforms like Twitch and YouTube is hard to pin down these days. The cast wear costumes, there’s a very artistic and haunting intro song and video to accompany the opening credits, the show has a producer and an artist and it’s possible to donate during the livestreams in order to give the players rerolls or complications.

The GM uses a modified version of the Cypher System that allows for a lot of flexibility in the powers that the vampires wield. For example, if a player thinks that her vampire should be able to psychically bond with a computer and the GM agrees then she gets to make a roll for it. This way of doing things rewards creativity and means we’re never quite sure what’s going to happen next.

The Lost Girls doesn’t benefit from more than 20 years of accumulated lore like Vampire: The Masquerade does. Nor is it constrained by past history. So, there are demons from beyond space and time, a tyrannical vampire future and a woman called The Spider who spins webs that may be more than metaphorical. The 80s setting comes complete with nostalgic music, offices where everyone smokes and drinks at their desks, awful fashion choices and a list on the fridge door of all the humans that no one is allowed to eat. It’s fresh and new and guaranteed to surprise you because you can’t just go away and google a particular character or faction.

The Lost Girls

Sometimes a whimsical slice of life drama and sometimes a straight up horror story rife with murder and conspiracy, The Lost Girls just isn’t like anything else. I’m reminded a little of certain supernatural anime series that have characters attending school in between battling monsters. At times the Lost Girls go to work, go on dates or go for a night on the town. At other times they battle other supernatural beings or kill ordinary people, often by accident but occasionally on purpose. And all the while a dark future creeps ever closer.

The cast aren’t much given to gloom, mind you. The show has a great sense of fun, with plenty of hijinks and shared jokes. In sillier moments you can often see cast members covering their mouths or perhaps simply trying to hold their fake fangs in place as they’re overcome by laughter I’ll break my usual rule and refer to the cast by their first names, since that’s how they’re presented in the video descriptions and I have no desire to intrude on anyone’s privacy by digging up more details about them.

The Lost Girls - Cast

Charlie is the GM. She weaves a curious and branching tale of a dark city in the grip of multiple conspiracies, laying down hint after hint with the precision of a chess-master. An imaginative and entertaining guide to the world of New Vampsterdam, Charlie is as confident and convincing when describing an overexcited dog making a fuss of a new friend as she is re-counting the blood-slick mayhem inflicted by a vampire gone feral. She empowers her players to try new things and to forge their own character arcs, giving a sense of shared storytelling.

Anna portrays Ephemera. The oldest vampire amongst the Lost Girls, Ephemera is a leader and den mother of sorts. Or perhaps more of a stern ‘father’ figure. She looks like a world-weary Lord Byron but her personality is scholarly rather than seductive. Ephemera is a brooding historian consumed by the search for answers about the vampiric condition. She has little time for anything beyond her own research. Her opinion of humans isn’t entirely clear, she hates to kill when feeding but this seems to be more about a distaste for losing control than any great sympathy for her prey. Anna is not above playing Ephemera’s apparent coldness for laughs on occasion.

Susanah plays Jessica. Jessica is the youngest of the Lost Girls and a self-obsessed punk who has yet to truly realise the horror of living as a vampire. Jessica embodies the rebel-without-a-cause mentality of self-destructive 80s youth and soon racks up a rather impressive body-count. Susanah loves her character but her stated goal for the game is for Jess to get her heart broken. Perhaps Jess’s carefree existence of blood and boys is about to take a turn into tragedy. Susanah manages to pull off teenage angst, stunned horror and predatory intensity with equal skill.

Emma plays May. It’s no particular secret to the audience that May was a Soviet spy in life and that she has maintained the habits of espionage in her new existence. She appears to be the perfect American worker, doing her job well and getting on with her bosses. In truth she’d be more than happy to burn the whole corrupt Capitalist mess to the ground. Perhaps she’ll get her chance. Emma plays May as soft-spoken and calm, with a talent for organisation. She does a lot of the domestic chores in the Lost Girls’ home and is another mother figure to the younger vampires. Which makes the moments when Emma let’s her character’s utter ruthlessness shine through all the more chilling.

Lindy plays Ixis. Hailing from a sterile and repressive vampire future that she has no interest in going back to, Ixis is sweet and innocent and has never ever met a human before. She’s not ready for the savagery of vampire existence in the 1980s, she’d much rather eat hamburgers, go on dates and get a pet than feast on the blood of the living. She’s very much the baby of the group for most of the series. Ixis can still defend herself if necessary and gets more than a few chances to show off her vampiric abilities, including her blinding speed. Lindy, a hugely prolific roleplayer, brings a wonderful amount of enthusiasm and life to the role of this, the most hapless vampire of them all.

Kienna plays Alice. Drawing less on vampire mythology and more on films like Hacker and TRON, Alice or ‘Al’ is a technomancer, scientist and inventor who uses her powers to wrangle computers and seeks to create a chemical formula that vampires can drink instead of human blood. An adult to Ixis and perhaps Jess, she’s not above being thoroughly “Mummed” by May. Al is fairly reclusive and socially awkward, leading to some cringey moments as she gets drawn into the other girls’ shenanigans. She’s not without her own secrets and her plot arc may be the most bizarre of all. Kienna comes up with some very inventive ideas herself and has done a lot to shape the story and deepen the lore of the series.

Like L.A. by Night, The Lost Girls features several guest stars. Including the glamorous and beguiling Darcy, and William—who is ‘sired’ during the course of the campaign and promptly steals the crown of most innocent and hapless vampire from Ixis. William, played by Michael, has now become a permanent player character, replacing Ephemera whose player is sadly not able to carry on with the show at present.

Season One of The Lost Girls has finished. Word is that Season Two will be a podcast. I’ll miss being able to see all costumes and fake fangs, but I’m definitely keen to keep following this story. If you’d like to make sure that The Lost Girls keeps on rolling then please follow their Twitter Feed or check out their Patreon page.

Carmilla—The TV Series

If you know your vampire lore, then the name Carmilla may be familiar to you. She is the undead antagonist of a gothic novel which predates Dracula. In the novel, Carmilla feeds only on women and develops a passionate and possessive attachment to one particular young noblewoman.

Yes, lesbian vampires weren’t created by the sexploitation film industry. They existed almost before the archetypal lordly male vampire. But a long line of schlocky films reduced these gothic archetypes to little more than heaving bosoms and outrageous accents, with the occasional honourable exception.

Carmilla (poster)No more. Carmilla—The TV Series, is a modern take on the old story and owes a lot more to Buffy than to The Vampire Lovers or Lesbian Vampire Killers.

While the course of love is absolutely critical to the series’ plot and romantic tensions take up a lot of screen time, this isn’t a steamy True Blood style show, barring the occasional make-out session. You might fall in love with some of the characters, but it’ll be as much because of their personalities as their looks. And that’s great!

(Not that there’s anything wrong with sexual themes. But it’s refreshing to see a show all about queer people that doesn’t feel the need to be titillating.)

This show is full of kick-ass queer women fighting, bonding and falling in love with each other without really being defined by their gender or sexuality. No one questions their right to be queer or judges them for it. No one makes expectations about their personalities based on their sexualities. As a rule, the female characters aren’t objectified, except by leering frat-boys who are played mostly for laughs. The show has a dedicated fanbase, called creampuffs, and part of its appeal must surely be this positive depiction of queer people.

While very important to the plot, Carmilla herself isn’t the viewpoint character of this series. Laura fulfils that role. She’s a desperately earnest, tightly wound and conscientious student who’s just started her degree at a creepy institution called Silas University. (Silas is located in Austria, despite which its campus culture and student body seem to be entirely Canadian.) Laura uses a camera in her bedroom to vlog about her experiences of student life as part of a journalism project. But then Laura’s roommate disappears, to be replaced by the snarky, aggravating and suspiciously nocturnal Carmilla. When the university authorities refuse to take her concerns seriously, Laura turns her videos into a rallying cry for her fellow students, a call to investigate and defeat the paranormal forces that menace them.

Carmilla and Laura

And now for the other franchise that people always compare Carmilla to—the Lovecraftian podcast series Welcome to Night Vale, which styles itself as the only radio programme in a very strange little town in the middle of a desert, somewhere in the USA. A place full of ominous helicopters of varying colours, sinister rules and rituals and monstrous creatures.

You see, Silas University has more going on than vampires—there’s a library catalogue that may just have achieved sentience, sorority rituals that include a literal man-hunt, a fungus-obsessed Alchemy Club, a Glee Club that you can never leave and a maliciously inscrutable bureaucracy running it all. Hints and vague allusions suggest a rich and detailed vein of lore to be uncovered. The single fixed camera set up in Laura’s dorm room gives us a window into this world and makes us feel almost like participants in the drama.

Season Two expands the setting and ramps up the occult craziness with a dose of ancient Sumerian mythology, along with lava pits, flying piranha, pitchfork-wielding villagers, time portals and inhuman monks.

Carmilla - Cast of Season Two

Season Three moves the action to the library and doubles down on the weirdness and mythological overtones with a friendly giant, spontaneously generated cupcakes, pocket dimensions, gods, harpies and an impending apocalypse.

Laura’s vlogs, ranging from around two to ten minutes long, form the series’ the episodes and this conceit is used to its fullest extent. Laura shares evidence in the form of photos and videos with us. She responds to comments and messages that have been sent to her by fellow students in between episodes. Static, and stranger disturbances, sometimes interrupt the broadcast. Duller sequences are put on fast-forward and set to music or replaced with a single sentence on a black screen e.g. “An 18 Hour Working Day Later”. The terrifying Dean of Students remains just out of shot for much of the first season, increasing her mystique.

The series’ creators clearly lacked the budget to actually show us all of the monsters, cataclysmic events and general weirdness that they imagined, so a lot of the action happens off-screen. Laura often interacts with other characters in front of the camera but very frequently someone recaps or explains the events that have just happened instead of showing them to us. A common trick is for a scene to start only to be interrupted by a jump-cut which leads straight into the aftermath of some hectic battle or bizarre happening.

Carmilla KarnsteinCarmilla herself is a complex character. She can turn on the seduction in a lazy, mocking kind of way, but she’s no pneumatic ‘I can’t resist your bloood’ cliché. Yes, she’s a rock-goth chick and a mean girl but she reads Kierkegaard and quotes art movements to make her points. Not because, as Laura suspects, she’s a pretentious philosophy major but because you don’t live as long as she has without absorbing some depth and culture. Her motivations aren’t clear at first and she’s not all that easy to pin down as the show progresses either.

“Such arms, such shoulders. The primitive by way of the neo-classical. I could just eat you alive.”

“Don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice?”

“See you at the violence!”

“Posterity doesn’t care. I should know, I live in it.”

Laura HollisLaura, the emotional heart of the series, manages to be both completely adorkable due to her overachieving good-girl geekiness and quite inspiring due to her refusal to give up in the face of forces far beyond her power or understanding. With determination in her heart and a Tardis-themed mug of cocoa in her hands, Laura is the hero in all of us.

“There is no twitching. There is an absence of twitching.”

“I don’t want to be doomed with anyone but you.”

“Stupid sexy vampires!”

“Murder her. Murder her for Christmas!”

S. LafontaineS. LaFontaine. A non-binary student with a penchant for mad science and a near total lack of fear, they’re probably the most awesome character of the series.

LaFontaine or LaF is the only human character who seems to genuinely enjoy all of the strangeness and horror of Silas.

“We tape our flame-throwers to our pulse-rifles and make the weird submit.”

Lola PerryLola Perry is LaF’s best friend and Laura’s floor Don. In stark contrast with LaF, she really just wants a quiet and calm life. Perry reminds us just how traumatic all of this monster-madness is for ordinary people by living in denial about the true state of Silas University.

“Be normal! BE NORMAL!!!”

Danny LawrenceDanny Lawrence aka the Amazon aka Xena. A senior student who is very tall, strong and action oriented. She is the main muscle for the good-guys and a love interest for Laura. Though heroic, Danny can be volatile when those she cares about are in danger and has a bitter rivalry with Carmilla.

“I’m not afraid.”

Wilson KirschWilson Kirsch. An annoying Frat-boy idiot who is obsessed with beer and parties but means well. Throughout the show he blossoms into a slightly less annoying idiot who proves to be a genuinely good and self-sacrificing person. He’s kind of a puppy in human form.

“I’m here out of the, like, Bro-ness of my heart.”

MattieMattie. A confident and merrily murderous vampire who is even more powerful and considerably less conflicted than her “sister”, Carmilla.

Though an out-and-out villain, Mattie is a joy to watch and tends to steal the show.

“And as long as you comply with the Korve officials taking your blood and tissue samples there’ll be no need to taser you.”

The show concluded after Season Three, though it was followed up with a film. But it’s all still sitting on YouTube, waiting to be discovered by new fans.

So, come and join the ranks of the Creampuffs.

And remember. Love will have its sacrifices.

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