July 19, 2018, 12:25:03 PM

Author Topic: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society  (Read 10146 times)

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #105 on: March 13, 2018, 04:54:06 AM »

And then there's the Smiling Man. He's a local boogeyman, a creepy figure with a rictus grin and wide, unblinking eyes. He is said to skulk in cellars and tunnels, and venture up at night, crawling rather than walking and snatching those who are out late. Or he crawls into a bedroom, staying just out sight of the person on the bed as he makes his way towards it. Any time an improperly closed door opens by itself it could be him...

The Smiling Man

Icy shines his toothy grin,
Pale his finger bones so thin,
Creeping silent, ever near,
Hid in shadow, never clear,

Mother, Father, save me, wake me,
Don't let the Smiling Man come take me,
Leave my lantern burning brightly,
Lest his fingers choke me tightly,
And to the shadows drag me down,
Where toothy smiles turn to frowns.
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Online Eli_Freysson

Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #106 on: March 14, 2018, 10:45:27 PM »

The Smiling Man

Icy shines his toothy grin,
Pale his finger bones so thin,
Creeping silent, ever near,
Hid in shadow, never clear,

Mother, Father, save me, wake me,
Don't let the Smiling Man come take me,
Leave my lantern burning brightly,
Lest his fingers choke me tightly,
And to the shadows drag me down,
Where toothy smiles turn to frowns.

Very nice, @The Gem Cutter. Thank you.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #107 on: March 15, 2018, 12:14:31 AM »

The Smiling Man

Icy shines his toothy grin,
Pale his finger bones so thin,
Creeping silent, ever near,
Hid in shadow, never clear,

Mother, Father, save me, wake me,
Don't let the Smiling Man come take me,
Leave my lantern burning brightly,
Lest his fingers choke me tightly,
And to the shadows drag me down,
Where toothy smiles turn to frowns.

Very nice, @The Gem Cutter. Thank you.

That definitely gave me the chills!  What do you think @Lady Ty ?

Offline Lady Ty

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #108 on: March 15, 2018, 02:37:20 AM »
That was coincidence at work. When I read your question I wondered if you had ESP Brad, because was sitting in dentist waiting room while anaesthetic kicked in,  to have a horrendously broken tooth rebuilt. So toothy smile or toothy grin was scarily apt. :'( :'( :'(
Am still frozen. And HUNGRY.
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Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #109 on: March 15, 2018, 03:20:49 AM »
@JMack I spent some time working in the warmer heart stuff you thought was missing. Any thoughts? I know you don't like the rhythms  ;D
Spoiler for Hiden:
I finished the second part  :D

My Two Hearts

There are two hearts, not one, inside of my chest,
That heat me and beat me from beneath the same breast,
Two hearts here inside me all of my life,
Two hearts that divide me and lead me to strife.

One heart is cold and it beats slowly but strong,
It only wakes from its slumber when things have gone wrong.
It cares not a bit for the details or pain;
It just does the math, sees the truths that are plain:
That the lesser evil of several is the right path to take,
Even when what is lesser is bad enough to break,
My other, warmer heart, that would quake and refuse,
To weigh grisly horrors and could never choose,
To live or to act when all acts are impure,
And strength is what’s needed to overcome, to endure.
No fear has my cold heart, just a grim, evil grin,
It just shrugs and it nods when the bad things begin.

When the path to compassion and mercy leads through,
Ruthless action and endurance and dreadful deeds I must do,
My cold heart only smiles as the bad news comes in,
When the delicacies all die and it’s time to begin.

Immune to distraction, it’s that heart I trust,
When strength is what is needed to do what I must.
To do things that no one ever wishes to do,
To make tough decisions that I will come to rue,
To prevent what is worse, to save all that can be,
Knowing that one day those actions will damn me,
When my warmer heart suffers long after the danger,
Sees memories of horrors, and in my mirror, a stranger.

There are two hearts, not one, inside of my chest,
That heat me and beat me from beneath the same breast,
Two hearts here inside me right from my start,
Two hearts that divide me and tear me apart.

One heart is warm, its beats swift and sure,
With a rhythm that’s stronger when my conscience runs pure.
It burns me and turns me from cold deeds to kind,
It slows me and shows me the grief and its signs.
It hears the hurt that lies hidden in laughter,
Sees the wounds and the bruises and the scars that come after.
It wakes me and makes me reach out my hand,
To soothe and to comfort, to guide, and to stand,
Between what is weak and the things that mean harm,
It lends speed to my mind and strength to my arm.

It cares a great deal for the details and pain,
It adds them all up, sees the truth that is plain:
Limits don’t matter when choosing the right path to take,
Better to try and to fail or to break.

I try to live up to my warm heart’s ideals,
Though it shames me and blames me when things that are real,
Defeat me and beat me with my own good intentions,
Or haunt my mind with my own dark inventions.

Its my warm heart’s tender notions that make life worth living,
They sustain me and restrain me and prompt me to giving,
Recalling the days I spent on my knees,
And the moments of mercy and the wisdom shown me.

The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Online Eli_Freysson

Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #110 on: March 24, 2018, 04:55:26 PM »
I decided to try my own hand at a bit of poetry for my new WIP. Specifically a poem spoken by a madman in an asylum, referencing the Lovecraftian horror to come. Thoughts?

As blood opens the tunnel bright
Through terror walk in search of sight
Truth revealed, the veil will burn
Flesh, begone, as gods return
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #111 on: March 30, 2018, 04:13:46 AM »
I am curious and interested to know whether the better poems I have written are really any good. Is poetry something I should consider investing more time and training in? You can PM me if that's easier. I don't mind, either way. If the answer is "Um, no" you're just saving me pain later.
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #112 on: March 30, 2018, 04:14:58 AM »
Yes.

Even when I don't provide feedback I enjoy them.

Offline Skip

Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #113 on: March 30, 2018, 05:52:42 AM »
First of all, if you can stop writing poetry then you should. But if you find that you just keeping writing the stuff, then I do think poetry in particular is a form of literature where you can learn. There are lots of poetry resources around, with all the usual caveats. But poetry has a whole library of forms, which gives you a wide field for practice. And as the saying goes, practice had made plu perfect.

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #114 on: March 30, 2018, 08:13:20 AM »
Yes.
I'm not that keen on poetry as a genre, and I prefer your shorter works, but in my limited opinion, you are good :)
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Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #115 on: March 30, 2018, 08:29:09 AM »
The one you did for Eli was particularly brilliant.

I merge a lot of poetry into my WIP-- It was called "unsung heroes" before some a-hole stole my title, so old stories and new make their way into bard's ballads. Mimicking in-world styles is a valuable talent that can supplement your novels (and make your purple prose all that more poetic :) ).

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #116 on: March 30, 2018, 01:51:09 PM »
Hah, I just thought of Braveheart and other references to 'warrior poets' and had a lengthy giggle. Maybe I'll get some poetry books for Father's Day.
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Jeni

Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #117 on: March 31, 2018, 05:41:10 PM »
Hello everyone ... I am loving this thread  :D



It would be cool to have something general about fearing the dark. I'm also thinking of a scene where a character walking alone at night starts to suspect he's being followed, and thinks of a particular poem on the subject. Something about footsteps. "Whose steps are those I hear..."

And then there's the Smiling Man. He's a local boogeyman, a creepy figure with a rictus grin and wide, unblinking eyes. He is said to skulk in cellars and tunnels, and venture up at night, crawling rather than walking and snatching those who are out late. Or he crawls into a bedroom, staying just out sight of the person on the bed as he makes his way towards it. Any time an improperly closed door opens by itself it could be him...


I had a go at this and came up with what turned out to be more of a kids playground rhyme than a poem. I am not sure if it is what you are after, but I enjoyed writing it, so here it is...


The Smiling Man

When daylight wanes
And shadows sprout

He'll crawl and creep
And sniff you out

Step quickly now
And quicker still

The Smiling Man
He wants his fill

Run home run true
Shut tight the door

The Smiley Man
Will hunt no more

For

YOU!

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #118 on: March 31, 2018, 05:42:20 PM »
Loved that Jeni!
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Jeni

Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« Reply #119 on: March 31, 2018, 06:20:40 PM »