Fantasy Faction

Fantasy Faction Writers => Writers' Corner => Topic started by: ClintACK on June 15, 2015, 02:17:47 PM

Title: Editing "The Eye of Argon" for fun and mutual edification (mostly fun): Part 2
Post by: ClintACK on June 15, 2015, 02:17:47 PM
Today's quote from The Eye of Argon:

"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed his comrade in death.

A gleaming scimitar smote a heavy blow against the renegade's spiked helmet, bringing a heavy cloud over the Ecordian's misting brain. Shaking off the effects of the pounding blow to his head, Grignr brought down his scarlet streaked edge against the soldier's crudely forged hauberk, clanging harmlessly to the left side of his opponent. The soldier's stead whinnied as he directed the horse back from the driving blade of the barbarian. Grignr leashed his mount forward as the hoarsely piercing battle cry of his wilderness bred race resounded from his grinding lungs. A twirling blade bounced harmlessly from the mighty thief's buckler as his rolling right arm cleft upward, sending a foot of blinding steel ripping through the Simarian's exposed gullet. A gasping gurgle from the soldier's writhing mouth as he tumbled to the golden sand at his feet, and wormed agonizingly in his death bed.

Grignr's emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier struggling before his chestnut swirled mount. His scowling voice reverberated over the dying form in a tone of mocking mirth. "You city bred dogs should learn not to antagonize your better."

This is the second half of the battle from last week.

Title: Re: Editing "The Eye of Argon" for fun and mutual edification (mostly fun): Part 2
Post by: ScarletBea on June 15, 2015, 02:53:42 PM
This sounds like the audio-description of a TV program for the blind - the TV scene lasts a couple of seconds, the description a few minutes ;D

(and someone was seriously in love with his adjectives and adverbs, hehe)