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Author Topic: Curing Impotence  (Read 4365 times)

Offline Conan

Curing Impotence
« on: March 08, 2015, 03:38:46 PM »
Any cool ideas for curing impotence in an alternate fantasy realm?
Heart of a dragon, apothecary, fairy strippers?..........


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Offline JMack

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2015, 03:53:33 PM »
And here I thought the spambot had gotten much more creative with its Athens vs. Persia - Live look in now! advertisements.

Er, blue powder collected from rocks beneath the great waterfall at the elven town of Vi'agera?
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Offline Nighteyes

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2015, 04:22:33 PM »
I thought this was a spam thread as well... Generally any animal or beastie in your world that is perceived as virile and aggressive. Remember this is quite a common ailment so make it something common and not to tough to kill (A griffen or a lionotaur.) Save your heart of a dragon for a biggie like eternal life.
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Offline sennydreadful

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2015, 10:15:30 PM »
Oh Conan. How the mighty have fallen.

Offline Doctor_Chill

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2015, 10:18:47 PM »
Trying praying to the god of fertility. That always works, right?
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Offline jefGoelz

Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2015, 02:11:39 AM »
chop off head of old wife and get a new young wife.

Offline Nora

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2015, 05:52:51 AM »
JefGoelz nailed it.

I guess the guys give you the chinese age old advice, with their rhino horn and tiger claw powders...

But let's remember that in Korea (and china too? Can't remember) DOG's d**k is an actual delicacy that is supposed to cure erectile problems and is served in restaurants.

So why not go out of the way and make it a bit gross, or fun instead of plain normal with the raptor's claw?

In France we get penis jokes sorted pretty early, and we had many disturbing ones, like guys going to lie down in a field waiting for someone to come and "harvest" (well, that was a "elongate your tool" joke actually).
My point is that you could see what the jokes on the topic are, they'd probably be full of good ideas.
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Offline Saraband

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2015, 01:52:01 PM »
I recently read a 12th century arabic manuscript which recommended purifying the male genitalia with vinegar, before having a female slave massage his intimate parts with pine oil. The author also recommended that the slave looked good - duh  8)
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Offline JMack

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2015, 02:31:47 PM »
I recently read a 12th century arabic manuscript which recommended purifying the male genitalia with vinegar, before having a female slave massage his intimate parts with pine oil. The author also recommended that the slave looked good - duh  8)
LOL
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Offline K.S. Crooks

Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2015, 02:48:39 AM »
How about the threat of losing his bits and pieces if he fails to get his wife pregnant.
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Offline jefGoelz

Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2015, 03:57:27 AM »
How about the threat of losing his bits and pieces if he fails to get his wife pregnant.

putting more pressure on the guy probably isn't a good choice. 

Offline Nora

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2015, 05:36:22 AM »
How about the threat of losing his bits and pieces if he fails to get his wife pregnant.

Especially unfair in case of infertile wife!
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Offline wakarimasen

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Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2015, 05:54:03 PM »
Plenty of people seek out this ancient chalk man in Dorset with his impressive.. er.. club.
It's supposed to be fertility cure to get jiggy  halfway down the hill if you get my drift. (How could you not?)
Sounds like a fantasy fertility cure to me...


Spoiler for "Hidden as potentially NSFW":


updated by mod to add the NSFW disclosure. Plus, it lets you unveil the picture for more impact ;)

« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 12:09:56 AM by Arry »

Offline ClintACK

Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #13 on: June 14, 2015, 10:39:30 AM »

In any polytheist society, you're clearly going to have a priesthood of some god selling impotence cures.  (And infertility cures, and talismans to ward off zombie plagues...)

Where this can become fun is if their cure is just a placebo, but they tell people that it will certainly work for anyone who isn't secretly a pedophile.  Now every client becomes your best salesman -- either it works for them (placebo, not worrying about it) or it doesn't (Oh, tiny gods!!! I can't tell anyone it didn't work!!!).

Offline Rostum

Re: Curing Impotence
« Reply #14 on: June 14, 2015, 03:37:29 PM »
Nobody suggested unicorn horn yet? It would seem a given... Any animal part, mythical or otherwise is going to see that beastie hunted to extinction, a market in fakes fraudulent merchants and all the useful plot devices to go with it. As you are in fantasy how about magic helping out...take the blue pill and say the following incantation. If that doesn't work come back for another consultation.

If you want to get really twisted about it how about summoning up a succubus to enable the cure.

Quote
I recently read a 12th century Arabic manuscript which recommended purifying the male genitalia with vinegar, before having a female slave massage his intimate parts with pine oil. The author also recommended that the slave looked good - duh

There are western 'cures' for venereal disease using vinegar and pine oil and later turpentine (distilled pine oil) I wonder if they have a common source? Lots of medical stuff travelled east to west from the crusades onwards.
As did a lot of the ailments.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2015, 03:48:43 PM by Rostum »