Fantasy Faction

Fantasy Faction Writers => RPG - Fantasy Faction Style => Topic started by: JMack on June 06, 2015, 02:20:35 AM

Title: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 06, 2015, 02:20:35 AM
"So here you all are," spoke Atku from the alterverse. "May you have joy of each other."

JayMack stared at a tall Texan holding a medical bag, surrounded by a band of the strangest ruffians ever assemble. And standing next to him: the woman in scarlet.

"Well," said JayMack.  "I was wondering where you'd got to."

Above his head, Smug roared and circled over the island, chasing seagulls.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 06, 2015, 07:21:48 AM
'Welcome. And I was wondering when you were going to get it...
Is Oggy with you? I really could use some more of her chocolate mousse.'

Scarlet laughed and opening her oldest book, waved her hands.
JayMack's group was soon encased in a bubble.

'Happy birthday, Doc! Would you like a bow on top of this bubble?'

And turning to the dark lord, she said with disdain:
'Did you really believe it was going to be so easy, coming here and taking our Diamond? Which by the way we haven't actually found yet?''

'Er, excuse me...', Bob appeared from what looked like the remnants of a destroyed glider, totally collapsed on the ground. 'I found this on the bits and bobs bag you gave me...'

Doc quickly shut him up with a well placed kick to the shin and Scarlet continued.

'Erm, yes, no Dragon Diamond here, no sirree. What can you do with that Ring of yours, then?'
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 06, 2015, 08:17:50 AM
Jaymack shrugged. 'Well not much, I guess.' He pointed up. 'We have a fire breathing dragon though?'
Scarlet smiled drily. 'Right. Hear that boys? There's 3000 exp flying around somewhere.'

Meanwhile Henry's chef knife had started buzzing in his deep pockets. The closer he came to Scarlet's bubble, the harder it buzzed. He raised it and pricked the bubble.


There went the bubble and the fight for the relics began.
The respective parties' armies joined the fray as well.

Jaymack threw a bucket of water over Scarlet's head.
Nothing happened at all but she started screaming. 'I'm melting! I'm melting!!!'
Oggy flew around on a dragon and fought the cap'n, throwing spoonfuls of nutella at him.
Henry fought a gunschwinger, trying to parry the bullets with his magical butterknife. It's a miracle he lives through all this really.
Justin, Kassin and Arcane wove complex time dimensional bibediboof against a frenchman and some naked shaman and whoever I still forgot's hard to remember :p
All between raptors, neko maids and well endowed raccoons.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 06, 2015, 10:38:06 AM

Everyone froze.

A very wet Scarlet, hair dripping over her glasses, was shaking with anger.
'This isn't how it was supposed to be, guys!
We are actually supposed to be *working* together - right?'

Everyone shrugged.

'Well, I say so'

'Why the bubble, then, miss?', sneered Henry.

Everyone jeered - but quickly shut up at a sharp look from Scarlet.

'I see you don't have birthday presents where you come from, mister.' Her tone was icy, which combined with the wet clothes gave out a chilly windy to all around. 'Do you think that if was really a trap you'd have been able to pop it so easily?
We are all brought together to fight the mighty goat.
Oh, who am I kidding? The *silly* goat!
And for that we need to work together, combine our forces which seem to be all dispersed.
At the moment I'm sick of the fighting, so let's go back to silly plans and illogical plot turns, eh?'

The frenchie gave an eerie laugh and started girating his hips. Strangely, it didn't seem to have an effect on anybody anymore - except Justin, as the shadow slowly approached the mesmerising sight.

Everyone shrugged and started discussing stuff.
Scarlet wondered how long her words would have any effect...
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 06, 2015, 02:48:38 PM
"Look," said JayMack, "I think I've figured out that by dark lord you mean... me? Because, honestly, I have black hair and I've gotten a little bit of sun recently? Aren't you being a bit non-PC? I mean, I could call you a scarlet woman, but would that mean you're a - oh, never mind.

"I'm no dark lord. I'm just a deposed king of a backwater nothing of a former country who killed his awful father for reasons far too complicated to explain to anyone except my therapist. And I want the empire of Fantasia OUT OF MY COUNTRY! Is that too much to ask? So this Atku dude appears in my castle one day when I'm playing fetch with Smug and offers me the power to get Fantasia off our backs. All I have to do is find this Dragon Diamond and take it to a buried temple. Then he'll tell me the rest. But there's gold and power at the end."

The opposing team had listened politely through this rather lengthy explanation. When JayMack finished, they stole a series of bemused glances at each other. Finally, the one called Doctor Chill stepped up.

"So, your little kingliness, I have this to say. ARE YOU A FECKING DUNCE?!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 06, 2015, 04:15:35 PM
He shot the closest raccoon for good effect. "Happy fucking birthday to you too."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ArcaneArtsVelho on June 06, 2015, 05:57:15 PM
[I might be breaking some (nonexistent) rules but I can't resist.]

As the leaders were bickering and most of the others were distracted by the leaders' bickering ( :o ), A.R and Bob sneaked behind Henry. The priest gave a "gentle" wham to the back of Henry's head with his metal cane. "That's for not noticing me!" said A.R.

Bob kicked the thief to his shin (a move which the gnome had learned recently). "Yeah, you'll be sure to remember us after we're done with you!"

Even the Cat scowled at the rogue.

Henry was about to retaliate, but he stayed his hand because it was still somewhat unclear whether the teams were going to work together or fight.

[It's all right, Henry. It's all right.  ;D ]
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 06, 2015, 06:19:28 PM
The Pirate used his powers to persuasion to make the cook make rum and raisin ice cream for everyone. (And persuaded  her to stick a laxative pill in JayMack's.) Which JayMack ate and said was the most delicious ice cream he had.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Lady Ty on June 07, 2015, 04:44:44 AM
The strange power exerted by The Ring of the Wildling had given Smug a huge growth spurt. He was no longer a cuddly lolloping pet, but sat twenty metres high behind Oggy his scales glowing magnificently red and his magnificent gold wings curled magnificently. Oggy had served Triple Rum and Raisin Ice Cream to everyone, but slipped the laxative into the Pirate's serve ínstead.

“ That‘ll keep him and his mischief makin’ occupied for a while” she thought, deciding now was a good moment to get a few things straight while they had their mouths full and couldn’t answer back.

“Now listen up all y’all, time you knew that Smug is actually Santander Maurice Udolfo Germanicus, heir to the throne of the High Dragon Saphira and I am his Fairy Godmother. "

Everyone gaped in horror and awe thinking - "Fairy Godmothers? Are we getting Disney Princesses next?  And Princey Frogs that sing ? And the Racoons pull glass coaches ?  And Yassin is going to change into Little Red Riding Hood and Nooooooooooo..............."

But by now they should have known Oggy better than that. She continued to explain.

"As a baby Smug fell out of the sky during a storm and was lost until I discovered him living here in the castle. Kingy didn't know, but took pity on an orphan waif, so Saphira has promised to bestow bounteous gifts of gold treasure from her hoard and has arranged with Fantasia that no one will interfere with his kingdom, or Smug  will blast them to kingdom Gone and Forgotten."

King Jaymack began to grin and look very pleased with himself, but Oggy hadn't finished with them yet.

"That rubbishy old blue gem in Doc’s backpack is as fake as, do you really think Atku would give anything away?  Smug has the real Dragon Diamond from Saphira safely in one of his stomachs and can drive the porcelain bus and chunder up the diamond any time you need it.  Your big problem is to deal with Atku and his warrior hordes before he makes any more trouble and for someone to re-cap who everyone is so I can plan the next feast .”

So saying she beckoned to the Scarlet Lady and they ate chocolate blueberry mousse and Pasteis de Nata with  a good cup of coffee.  Then they went off to ask the Neko army ladies how they managed to keep their hair up all day with just two knitting needles.

Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 07, 2015, 05:41:52 PM
JayMack was relieved and happy. Talk about deus ex fairy godmother! He would have his country back, and not have to play nice with that odious Goat God. He could just relax, kick back and go in an awesome quest. A quest to


Yeah, that totally work for him.

"Alright," he said to the other group's leader, this Doctor Chill," we are

> myself, lord of the North
> Kassin, an alien dragon-tiger with attitude
> Justin, a maybe-human, who appears to be a shadow taser and Kassin's apprentice
> Arcane, who says he's a bard, but appears to be something else entirely
> Oggy, the great fairy godmother chef in creation
> Smug, an enormous dragon prince, who likes his tummy rubbed

and somewhere, we had a cat, but it appears to be missing.

And, Chill, what does your group have to say for itself?
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 07, 2015, 07:59:43 PM
Henry muttered a curse or two at having been forgotten.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 07, 2015, 08:11:12 PM
Henry muttered a curse or two at having been forgotten.

Henry enjoyed his rum and raisin ice cream.  The captain went to eat his, but it was snatched out of his hands by JayMack.  "Think I am an idiot pirate," JayMack jeered.  "I know you tinkered with mine.  You can eat mine,and I'll have yours."  The captain shrugged, and quietly started licking his lovely ice cream.  It turned out that JayMack was one of those odd people who bites chunks out of his ice cream, and he had finished his one in just a minute or two.  Strange sounds came out of JayMack's stomach.
"Teach you for scoffing it down like a pig," laughed Henry.  "And for forgetting me."
JayMack began to panic.  Strange things were going on in his stomach.  Damn it,  they were all trapped in a bubble.  No convenient bush to duck behind.  He tightened his sphincter, but still felt gases begin to creep out.  He wondered how long before the others noticed.  They were trapped in a bubble after all. 
Henry noticed a strange, slightly noxious smell.  "Damn!" he shouted.  "I've smelled this before.  Must be swampies!  Everyone draw weapons!"
JayMack was too embarrassed to say anything,and preparing for a possible onslaught of swamp creatures had seemed to unite the disparate forces. 
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 07, 2015, 08:20:18 PM
[psssst - the bubble was popped a few posts ago ;)]
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 07, 2015, 08:43:32 PM
Scarlet noticed that JayMack had gone red in the face, was sweating, and kept bending over.  In addition to this he seemed to be hallucinating that he was still in a bubble.  The smell was also getting worse.  She muttered a seek spell but could find no sign of any 'swampies.'  "Seems these swampies have a spell caster with them," she called out.  "Whoever it is, has just cast the best concealment spell I have ever seen."
"It's all very well casting a concealment spell, but that smell is ripe!" cursed a sweating Doc.  "Smells worse than the time I found a group of week dead cattle at a poisoned pond back in the old country."
The raptors were getting more and more agitated.  A species dependent on smell for seeing, and right now the poor things had been left figuratively blind.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 07, 2015, 09:01:23 PM
JayMack realized that the state of his insides was directly the outcome of having left Henry out of his introductions. Spewing, sweating and farting, he wobbled over to the thief. "Will you forgive me?" he moaned.

Henry looked at the little king through his monocle. The digital readout read: "Send patient to decontamination for 24 hours."

"Dude," said Henry. "You just need to keep to your side of the island for a bit, ok?" Then he turned to Scarlet. "You and Oggy have any more of that ice cream? But, you know, not the flavor JayMack ate?"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 07, 2015, 09:36:44 PM
"Ahem," Doc coughed. "Can somebody get that Jaymack smell out of here. Don't see no swampies, so-"

One of the scouts decided it was the perfect time to pounce. Too bad it was by the twin shapeshifting cats who squeeled by surprise.

"What was that?" They all turned to the edge of the woods.

"It's a trap!" As if that joke hadn't been overdone already.

Henry unsheathed his golden ladle the old chef had bestowed upon him. "No, it's the swampies. We need to bite them before they bite us. Attack!"

The thief went to charging at the swampy, cat, and co. Raptors went insane from the noise, but the rest of the group stayed where they were at. "I think the smell is getting to him," Scarlet muttered.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 07, 2015, 09:46:10 PM
With J Mack having staggered away to empty his bowels, the others took stock.
"Now this 'ere army is useful,"  said the Capt. "But might it be better if I promoted Akbar to captain and told him to take the army off on me boat, and do some pirating. The rest of us rpg characters can form a new adventuring group. I can blow me magic whistle and summon the boat and crew later if we need them."
The rest of the group thought carefully about this and then began whistling to blank out the sounds coming from behind the bush.
Henry then stormed back. "No swampies there! And the smell got fainter," he reported. "Crikey it's coming from behind that bush!"
He pulled a small grenade out of his belt, pulled the pin and tossed it into the bush from whence the smell and sounds of groaning could be heard.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 08, 2015, 05:10:09 AM
So the calamari-men, space gnomes, surviving Nords and raptor hooligans went aboard the Schmoking Dutchman. Akbar already had his captain hat out before they even set sail. He was in a good mood.

Back on shore, the party was indecisive. "Should we find out what that merry-go-round music is signalling before the swampies get to it, or attack them head on?"

The grenade exploded tear gas and confetti before they could give an answer. Jaymack's was that of another groan.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 08, 2015, 06:49:32 PM
A voice came down from the clouds. "JayMack has gained the skill of the toxic wind. Every time he breaks wind everyone within 20 paces rolls a d4 to see how many hit points damage they take."
Pulling his kegs up and washing his face with water to clear up the stinging in his eyes, JayMack muttered, "Could come in useful that in a melee."
JayMack staggered back to the rest of the crew. "Must have eaten summat that disagreed with me," he apologised.
"You see any swampies back there?" asked Henry.
"Swampies?" asked JayMack.
"Ahhhh, must be hiding!"  shouted Henry, as he plunged into the bushes with his stick drawn.  "I'll flush them out...    I am standing in some swampy land now!  They are close!"
The rest chose to ignore Henry.
"We be needin' knowledge," the captain said. "Might we set a course for the mystical libraries of Elfy?"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 08, 2015, 09:40:08 PM
At long last, the effects of Jaymack's battle had drifted off and the fresh breeze came in off the bay.

"So," said JayMack weakly. "What's mission, Chill? I don't have to follow the Goat; I can kill the Goat. You apparently have some idea what we're supposed to do. So let's get to it!"

Oggie held out brownies fresh from the oven and JayMack almost doubled over in pain. "Eat one," insisted the fairy-godmother. He managed to gag one down and immediately felt relief. In fact, he felt a little high. Oggie smiled and winked, "Illegal in 49 states, but I have a source in Colorado."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 08, 2015, 09:55:59 PM
Scarlet was frantically browsing through her books. That canvas bag must be magic, there's no way that many books can fit in there... and the weight alone would have sank the ship they had sailed in!

'I don't know... I can't find it....
It was here...
I'm sure I've seen it in the one with the red cover...'

After several frantic minutes she sat down on the sand, and with her hands covering her face she admited:
'I don't know where we're supposed to go. I don't know where the Goat is.
We need the Doc!!!!'

Cap approached and slowly tapped her shoulder.
'Hey, what about the mystical libraries of Elfy?'

She sobbed. 'I trained with him, but I admit, he's a much better Wizard than I.
Let's go'
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 08, 2015, 10:11:43 PM
The group were interupted by Captain Akbar and the Calamari men bringing several crates to their camp. Tje captain thanked them and wished them luck on their privateering. He then called Henry over. "Stop smacking at that bush with your cane and give your shoes a damn good wipe. I need you to lever open this crate."
Intrigued, Henry desisted from his pursuit of smacking bushes whilst shouting, "Take that you foul swamp fiend!"  With a twirl, he latched his cane into the largest crate to reveal a large deflated hot air balloon.
"Now we just need some hot air to fill it up!" smiled the Doc.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 08, 2015, 11:26:28 PM
"Lucky we have a dragon for that!" crowed Oggy. "Oh Smuuuuug!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Lady Ty on June 09, 2015, 02:18:40 AM
Having gobbled up a giant baked bean, cabbage and banana loaf, spread with onion garlic jam,  for his breakfast, Smug snorted with laughter. He had learned how humans made those strange noises and enjoyed practising, getting better and better as he grew larger.  Now he was happy to oblige and produced enormous amounts of hot smelly air both fore and aft until the balloon, shaped like The Enterprise, and captained by Don Puke Leotard was filled to bursting point.
There was a large basket hanging underneath, with room for the new combined crew, especially including HENRY. With Smug as their flying single vessel Armada, they set off for Elfy's stronghold in the wilds of ParisontheYarra, pronounced Melbun.

Kassin felt strange stirrings in his soul and flashbacks involving leeks, aubergines, courgettes and decaff coffee, none of which he had encountered, yet recognised instantly.

Oggy thought of all the fun she could have learning from Adrianono Zumbaldi the finest patissiere in Oz and how she could go to Vue and learn from Shanky Longhair how to cook Buffalo Frappe and fell asleep with these blatantly self indulgent dreams.

The balloon flew silently but steadily through the Mists, Fogs, Snows, Spinners, Hurricanes, Typhoons, Donner and Blitzen until @Elfy (;u=1153)'s Gleeming Realm came in sight.

Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 09, 2015, 06:36:15 AM
Ah, and what a marvel it was. To call the realm astounding would be an understatement. Perhaps energetic, if you were so inclined. With rolling hills and bouncing plot bunnies ahoy, the place was a spectacular mish-mosh of everything beautiful and fun. Nicknamed the Hills of Oz for some strange reason, the hot air balloon drifted lazily through the clouds till they spied the abode of our elusive wizard. (only elusive for a few posts but whatever.)

"Descend," Cap called from the edge. Bob pulled a pulley and a lever for his contraption to let off the fire. Namely, Waka's rump turned upside down and roped open for power.

"Yeehaw!" the shaman yelled upside down. Jaymack shuddered but was glad his turn was over. They had needed to refuel once on the way here and Smug wasn't in any mood to cooperate, not with Oggy asleep on his back.

But all was not lazy amongst the sky pirates. "Cap'n," Henry bellowed from the other side of the balloon. "What's that down there."

The Hound gazed through the fog and smog to spy a tiny lake near the bottom of the castle. "Arr, I think that's Akbar. But how did he make it here before us?" In a lake of all places, but he reframed from commenting that last part. The ship was spinning in circles, dancing from sirens flying overhead. They were singing a shrill song. Kind of reminded the crew of a merry-go-round tune. "Figures," Cap mumbled.

"Should we help them?" Scarlet asked.

"Naw, let them be. There's enough men to fight off three swarms o' them harpies. Besides, they got Charlie to scare 'em off if they board."

"Seems good enough," Doc agreed. "Now, tell me Scarlet. What does this Elfy have?"

"My book you nit! It has the map to Atku's temple in it, and that's the only way we can enter his domain."

Ah. The obvious.

They continued their descent.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ArcaneArtsVelho on June 09, 2015, 09:58:42 AM
As they were descending, Arcane walked over to A.R. (who was probably puking over the railing). "I thought I would introduce myself", he said. "My name is Arcane."

"Pleasure to meet you", said the priest. "I am AR Cane."

The men stared at each other suspiciously for a moment. For a long moment. For an uncomfortably long moment. They said nothing more and walked away. Well, as far away as they could while still remaining in the basket.

"There's a quite considerable chance for misunderstanding with names like that", said Alter.

Arcane snorted and started examining his porn... I mean, summoning scrolls despite the looks and snickers he received from the people nearby.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 09, 2015, 11:42:36 AM
Henry saw Arcane looking through his pron stash and shook his head. Some people had their own priorities he guessed.
He went to the edge of the basket, pushed Smug, who tried to lick him, aside and used his scouter monocle to look at their destination. It gave of several energy readings. Over 9000!
Meanwhile Jaymack refueled the balloon in his own way.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 09, 2015, 12:15:59 PM
Down they came, and all of them felt relief that they'd be back on dry ground once again. Except that the land below was actually salt marsh, so they up the helly ah a bit longer until they saw a nice stretch of flat, treeless earth with none of that salt marsh stuff. The ballon touched down, and the voyagers disembarked, legs a little wobbly from the weeks at sea in the air.

Henry's energy reading surged to 18,000 in a split second. "Um, guys?" he said.

"Terra firma!" sighed Chill. "Tear a what?" asked JayMack.

"Um, guys? I think we may have a problem."

"Terra firma. It's Latin for firm earth."

"Ok, but what's Latin?"

"GUYS!" screamed Henry. But it was too late. The herd of plot bunnies that had been bearing down on them tore through their firma terra like an English stampede before the end of all beer ever. "Somebody do some-" came a strangled cry from at least three throats.

Then suddenly (because we talked about this, and we're ok using "suddenly" in a cheap little RPG like this) everything was quiet. The bunnies sat around in neatly arranged rows broken up into various choruses, waiting for the show to begin.

Not knowing he would do it, the Texas gunschwinger swept Scarlet into his arms. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." The bunny chorus nearest to the two of them sighed.

Then AR Cane turned to Arcane. One of them grabbed the other and started a passionate, tongue-lashing kiss. One of them broke off and groaned, "I wish I knew how to quit you." Their closest bunny chorus sighed, and applauded, and whispered "Brokeback, Brokeback, Brokeback, Brokeback."

Soon JayMack was stuck in the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles, Oggy was helpless in a rerun of French Cooking with Julia Childs, and the Cap'n was acting out scenes from Cutthroat Island, after having argued successfully to be let out of his contract for Pirates of the Caribbean: It's Turtles All the Way Down. It seemed everyone had been adopted by a bunny group except for Henry. He watched in horror as the energy readout spiked higher. 25,000 then 50,000 then 100,000. "Something's coming." He almost whispered it, and just managed not to shit his pants. "Something's coming!"

A tornado of wind whirled up in front of him, defying understanding. Then it resolved and from the maelstrom stepped a strange, thin figure in a billowing black robe. The man had a cheesy mustache, long whispy beard, and great, curling ram's horns on either side of his head. In a voice that wished it was a voice of thunder the man said: "I am the wizard Tim!"

The bunnies were clapping empty coconut halves together, smiling happily.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 09, 2015, 12:29:25 PM
And Tim bowed to the party, then conjured up several pumpkin carriages to take them to the ball that was being held at Elfy's place.
Henry screamed as the rabbits lifted him and forced him into the carriage with the others. "No, I'm not wearing your bloody glass slippers!"
The rabbits would not have it though and knocked him out, then tied him to the roof of the pumpkin.
Off they went, to Elfy's ball with enchanter Tim.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 09, 2015, 02:57:26 PM
The carriage bounced along. Inside, Scarlet whispered to Chill, "This is why I was reluctant in coming. It's mass chaos out there."

But the Doc could only grin. "You just don't want to got to this ball of his." He still had to pick out a tie for the occasion.

Good thing a stampede of giant rabbits (kin to plot bunnies) stopped them in their tracks for a few good seconds. Aggression has yet to be determined.

And a definite yes between the striped black one or the cute bubbles.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 09, 2015, 03:12:54 PM
'I prefer the cute bubbles one' said Scarlet, judging them against his shirt. 'And you're right, I belive wasting time on balls is silly. We have work to do!'

'Chill out, Scarlet, and enjoy. Here's a bow for your hair'

The bow was thrown to the rabbits in less than a second, and was safely being chewed while the carriage progressed into the palace.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 09, 2015, 04:49:00 PM
"Bubbles it is," he agreed as they finally hit cobblestones. The great magical latticework was in view now. "You sure you don't want to relax for just a little bit? A little soirée might be fun."

She glared at him then returned back to the carriage window. "No. I'll dance till the sun goes down when Atku's dead."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 10, 2015, 07:57:54 AM
And the carriage drove up the boulevard where they got a first good look at the castle.
Tall spires vomited magic in the air occasionally. Great arches depicted ancient battles and many lights covered the night sky.
"Talk about light pollution." Said Chill.
Many bunnies flocked in the streets to watch the strange newcomers being brought in. Others were too entranced in their dubstep music.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 10, 2015, 08:06:49 AM
A man in a large overcoat came up to the carriage. "Science fiction novels for the gentlemen? Go on an exciting voyage to the stars and far off planets?"
"Ummm, not right now," muttered JayMack.
"What's that about?" asked the Doc to Scarlet.
"Elfy hates science fiction novels. None are allowed in his library, and now a black market in science fiction novels have appeared on the streets."
"What does he like then?" asked JayMack.
"Urban fantasy," replied Scarlet. "Has the world's biggest collection. Just don't call it paranormal romance however many leather clad women or men adorn the covers. He will smite you!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 10, 2015, 09:07:11 AM
Arcane overheard the conversation and wondered.
A powerful person as Elfy might have hidden his own tomes of summoning in his porn stash   paranormal romance   urban fantasy. That might be interesting to check out...
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: eclipse on June 10, 2015, 10:56:19 AM
Just then gully dwarves approached jaymack attracted by the smell of his clothes

Bob looked on in bemusement.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Lady Ty on June 10, 2015, 11:02:17 AM
A tall Wizard, wearing a long black duster, bowed to the group as they approached the open doors leading to the ballroom.

"Greetings friends of Elfy, I am The Winter Knight, may I escort you to Elfy and His Lady?"  he said, looking them over carefully. He had no time to say anything further because Oggy smothered him in a red hot embrace and ruffled his hair.

"I'll not  have you been ensnared by Mab, Harry, m' darlin' boy, I've brought your favourite doughnuts with white frosting and sprinkles, made by my own hands, and they'll free you from silly Winter spelling, I'll e-mail Olaf to come and sort that Mab out."

So saying she thrust a huge bag of doughnuts into his hands, and went on talking before he could open his mouth. "Now you start eating and get rid of that nasty thrall thing. These are my friends who need all the help and clever spells you can give us to find and defeat The Wicked Goat God Atku who is gobbling up all the LikeInTheWorld and other nefarious deeds."

She introduced the crew, including HENRY, to Harry and they began to explain their Mighty Quest. Suddenly, (because that is always how this cat does things) The Cat  re-appeared, rather like his cousin from Cheshire, and was muttering in the ear of  Harry's Grumpy Cat, called Mister.

Oggy and Smug had noticed many old friends in the Ballroom and taking Scarlet with them they paid their respects to the Six Queens of Faery (although Oggy paid severe disrespects to Mab because she was very annoyed about Harry's thrall) and went off mingle magnficently.

A huge Irish Wolfhound came bounding over and jumped up to give a high-five to Smug and leapt around them, muscles rippling on his massive brawny legs.

"Good to see you, Fiery Fellow, when did you grow bigger than me? Have you seen any French poodles around Melbun? Does Kassin know where they live? Mind I have to be careful now because I have a girlfriend, but a 'quick chat wouldn't do any harm, where's Oggy, has she brought sausages, she always has sausages for me and makes them out of old aged beef and bronto liver....."

Oggy laughed and hugged him. "Oberon, you talk almost as much as I do, of course I've brought you sausages, but first please can you find Atticus, Granuille and Owen, I think my friends need three Earth Druids to help them move through the Never-Never."

Sitting by the gleaming fountains were three special goddesses - laughing and all-embracing Mama Thames, spunky, powerful Beverley Brook and elegant, sophisticated, deadly Lady Ty. Oggy and Lady Ty had known each other for centuries and were soon gossiping about the Kardasshamoms and when Lord Charlemagne might drop by.

Mama Thames and Beverley were enchanted with Scarlet and asked how on earth she had managed with all those smelly men on the pirate ship not to mention racoons, when a cry came up from the crowd in the ballrooms-

"Look here come the Vampire Courts - Red, White and Black!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 10, 2015, 11:29:20 AM
The dwarfs, who hated when someone called em dorfs, had cornered Jaymack and Henry. Apparently Jaymack owed them money while Henry had pulled a con trick on them. Jaymack raised his hands in innocence. "I need more time guys. We'll get loads of treasure. I promise I'll pay you back. Every last one of you dorfs."
As stated before, that was something he shouldn't have said to a bunch of respectable dwarfs and things escalated into a brawl.
Jaymack jumped on a dwarf head, knocking him out. (As many people who play games can attest, jumping on ones enemy head is very lethal.) Henry knifed one between the ribs.
"Look out, guys, here come the vampire courts!" Hissed a dwarf and all involved parties resorted to innocent bloody smiles that missed several teeth, stopping bloody wounds from leaking and trying not to look to much in dying pain.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Rukaio_Alter on June 10, 2015, 01:25:26 PM
Sorry I've been not very active on this RPG. Been fairly distracted lately and didn't really see any good spots I wanted to interfere. To make up for it, I'm going to spend this entire post accusing another member's character of very suspicious things. (Sorry Ty, but this twist fit far too well for me to turn down....)

A few minutes earlier, while the group had been distracted by the influx of new acquantances and locations, few had noticed Arcane deliberately dip behind. Or maybe they were just mistaking AR Cane for him. It was very confusing. But despite the joy and frivolities, Arcane had a very serious face.

"So what's wrong?" He asked his familiar.

"How do you know there's something wrong?" Alter asked.

"Because you haven't yet cracked a single joke about that..." Arcane cleared his throat, blushing. "...Brokeback moment. That can only mean something serious has gotten your attention."

"Oh believe me, I'm saving up for that." Alter smirked. But his expression too turned serious. "But you're right. There's something I really don't like about this.

"Is it the general destruction of the boundaries between real-life and fiction? Because that's been slightly bothering me." Arcane scowled and looked around. "Obviously, being a summoner, I'm not unused to breaking that wall, but this is on a whole other level."

"No, this is all fine." Alter said. "It usually happens when you get together too many plot bunnies. If anything, we should feel especially secure. Basic Storytelling means you should be especially safe from anything fatal or too dehabilitating."

Arcane blinked. "Explain."

"In narrative terms, even if you're not the main protagonist, you're still a fairly mysterious side character who has yet to reveal his secrets and abilities, most specifically me, to the main group." Alter explained. "They can't kill you off right now otherwise it would be a massive anti-climax and leave too many threads unanswered."

Arcane frowned. "I think I may still be under the effect of those bunnies because that made far more sense than it had any right to." He paused. "But if that's not what you're worried about, then what is?"

Alter's eyes followed Oggy around the room as she chatted and socialised with all the guests. "I've just re-evaluated who I think the most dangerous person in this group is."

"Oggy? Really?" Arcane gave him an odd look. "She seems like a harmless, friendly cook. And she makes the most fantastic meals. How can anyone like that be so dangerous you'd refrain from teasing me?"

"Look at her." Alter said. "Look at the way everyone reacts to her. These are all fictional characters, conjured by an excess of reality-warping bunnies, yet they all speak to her like old friends. Everyone seems to like her right off the bat. Even you. And you hate everyone."

"I don't hate everyone." Arcane scowled. "I just have very high standards."

"Yet you're freely throwing around compliments about her." Alter pointed out. "You rarely even do that to people you genuinely respect."

Arcane opened his mouth to protest. Then he realised his familiar kinda had a point and shut it again.

"It's not just you who's been affected." Alter said. "When we first met, I described her as harmless, despite noting that she was centuries older than anyone else in the room. That alone should've caught my attention. Then she revealed she could see me in my spirit form, something that should be impossible for anyone without some seriously impressive magic. When she revealed that, my first thought should've been to make plans to assassinate her and protect our secret. Yet the thought never even crossed my mind until a few minutes ago. Even now it's hard to consider doing it."

Arcane's attention was now completely caught by this revelation. "So what is she?"

"I don't know and I don't like not knowing." Alter set his teeth. "But if her powers can successfully affect a Servant-class familiar while he's in spirit mode, then she's dangerous. Personally, I'd advice you summon the Lighthouse and get us as far away from here as you can."

"But I need to see if Elfy has any summoning scrolls." Arcane pointed out. "And considering how thin reality seems to be here, it seems very likely there's at least one stuffed somewhere. It's possible there may even be another Servant-class summoning scroll."

"That's just my advice. Take it or leave it. Either way, I'd keep an eye on her."

"Duly noted." Arcane sighed. "But I don't think-"

"Oh, by the way, we have several hundred vampires incoming. Red, Black and White Court. You may want to be careful around the latter. They're basically succubi, so watch yourself if any beautiful women start turning your head." The familiar grinned. "Or men."

Arcane started rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I think I hate this place."

Unbeknownst to Arcane and Alter, the two were being watched. Mab, the Winter Lady, Queen of Air and Darkness, fresh off her recent scolding by Oggy, watched the summoner rubbing his nose and smiled slightly. It was not a nice smile.

"How very intriguing..."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Lady Ty on June 10, 2015, 01:40:19 PM
Unbeknownst to Arcane and Alter, Oggy, Allomantic Fairy Godmother swallowed megagigantium  giving her power over the whole world especially Arcane and Alter of self  protection and checked that brass filings for soothing were in all the salt and pepper pots.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 10, 2015, 05:25:58 PM
Meanwhile, Doc and Scarlet stood to the side sipping on their crystalline glasses. Chill laughed at another one of the wizard's jokes, but tipped his cup at the next thing to catch his attention. "Hey. Ever think you'd see Cap like that?"

He was circled by some fine lads and lasses, all decked out in the hottest fashion. Flamingo feathers this week, it appeared. But what caught Doc's eye was not the old pirates mingling or good cheer, but, "I guess wine is alcohol. Besides, he's having a good time. If the room was any darker, you might could mistake him for a decent fellow."

"Decent kitchen scullion, perhaps," Doc mumbled and took another swig. He continued watching the crowds: Oggy chatting up the fellow guests, three lively goddesses in particular and a great hound, too. Jaymack and Henry scuffling in the corner with some dwarves, obviously losing. Waka and that beast Kassin were nowhere to be found. But none of it was strange. Still, something felt off.

AR walked up, cane tapping on the polished marble soon after. He walked up beside the duo and asked, "How's it going?"

"Fine," Scarlet passed back, now in a foul mood again.

AR scratched the back of his head and muttered, "Uh, nice tie by the way."

"Nice save, preacher" Doc said and gave the priest a glass of champagne. However, he shook his head. "C'mon, it's almost communion." Chill winked but AR was adamant. He could only sin three times a day, and the other Arcane had taken all his coupons.

To lighten the mood some more, a girl dressed in a trench coat flitted over and opened up one side. AR averted his eyes. "Hey, psst. Anybody want some sci-fi?" she wondered in a low voice. "Got some premium Isaac Asimov. Collector's Edition. Just waiting to be snatched up."

AR waved his hands. "No thanks. I only read from the Great Paolini."

She nodded her head. "Ah, you're one of those guys." She closed her coat and went her merry way. The three kept watch on the crowds some more, finding nothing interesting of the sort.

"Any idea where Elfy might be keeping your book?" Doc's eyes were still on the three glowing women Oggy was hanging with. They seemed unnatural, like that Winter Knight fellow that had greeted them at the door. He would have to follow up on the feeling.

But Scarlet broke him from his mullings. "I think he'll have it tucked away in his Archives. But that's locked in the farthest corners of his library. No way we could break in there easily." She flashed a smile for the first time all night. "Wanna head there?"

"Turn down a pretty girl who wants to sneak off? How could I?" Doc downed the last of his drink and drug AR along. Oggy could waffle off some story as to their disappearance. Besides, Elfy would be in here and not notice a thing had been touched by the time they returned.

Suddenly though, before they could exit through a side door, a trumpet blared from the front of the hall. "Hear ye, hear ye. Here comes the Vampire Court! All Red, White, and Black!"

Which meant it was time for Lord Charlemagne to make his debut.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 10, 2015, 06:06:24 PM
The captain had persuaded one young lady to take him into the library. "Wow, he certainly has a lot of books with leather clad young ladies on the front covers," muttered the Captain.
"Oh capitane, we are not here to read," the young lady moaned.
"Just a minute," the captain replied as he perused the shelves.  He found some leather bound first editions of the Gentleman Bastards series he purloined. One appeared to have some dusty pages hidden inside the cover. "Now where were we?"  The young lady giggled and the captain smiled back. Who said espionage was all work and no play?
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ArcaneArtsVelho on June 10, 2015, 07:14:14 PM
But playing was no fun for the captain, for as soon as his lips touched those of the young lady, he felt a wave of enfeeblement passing through his body. Nearly powerless Cap fell to his knees, prying his lips free, gasping, "You are of the White Court? Of the House Raith?"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 10, 2015, 07:36:02 PM
But playing was no fun for the captain, for as soon as his lips touched those of the young lady, he felt a wave of enfeeblement passing through his body. Nearly powerless Cap fell to his knees, prying his lips free, gasping, "You are of the White Court? Of the House Raith?"

"The House of PAIN!" screamed the Captain in defiance.
"Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin
I came to win, battle me that's a sin
I won't tear the sack up, punk you'd better back up
Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up," he sang in a defiant voice.  By this point the comely wench was joining in.
"Get up, stand up, come on, throw your hands up
If you've got the feelin' jump across the ceilin'
Muggs is a funk fest, someone's talkin' junk
Yo, I'll bust 'em in the eye and then I'll take the punks home"
The two burst out in the hall, and carried on singing,

"Feel it, funk it, amps it are junkin'
And I got more rhymes than there's cops that are dunkin'
Donuts shop, sure 'nuff I got props from the kids on the Hill
Plus my mom and my pops
I came to get down, I came to get down
So get out your seats and jump around"

All the room joined in on the chorus,

"Jump around, jump up and get down
Jump around, jump around
Jump up and get down
Jump up, jump up and get down

Jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump!"

The ball now had over a hundred guests jumping up and down in wild abandonment, with smiles on their faces.
"Great distraction!" the Doc whispered, and pulled Scarlet after him into the library the captain and his noble lady had just vacated. 
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 10, 2015, 10:13:28 PM
Charlie was break dancing. The whole crowd was in a roar. The Vampire Court stood on the outskirts sipping their decaf blood drinks.

"I'm not sure what's happening," one said to the other.

"Crazy kids. Back in my day..."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 10, 2015, 10:28:04 PM
The Doc and Scarlet stared at the hundreds and hundreds of books in the library. The Doc was particularly intrigued by a section entitled 'Dinosaur Erotica' but Scarlet pulled him away. "Look, I know Elfy. I suspect it will be hidden inside the covers of one of his favourite tomes. Hmmmmm...." she ran a finger along the spines of one section. The Doc ignored her, and started leafing through the pages of a particularly enticing paranormal romance urban fantasy novel with a leather clad lady with heaving bosoms striking young heroine on.
"Gosh darn it!" cursed Scarlet. "His Gentlemen Bastard novels are missing. I was sure they would be the hiding place. He loves those books!"
Chill absently mindedly pulled another book out of a shelf, only for the shelf and him to rotate into a hidden space behind the wall.
"Doc?" Scarlet called out, looking at where just seconds before the Doc had been standing.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 10, 2015, 10:36:28 PM
Taking a break from the dancing and singing, and just in time as JayMack was leading the crowd in a singalong of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow, the Captain pulled out the papers he had removed from the library. They were written in a strange set of runes he hadn't seen before. Better give these to Scarlet he thought. He scanned the room but couldn't see her or the Doc. He did notice a group of rather pasty looking noblemen and ladies at the sides of the room looking rather annoyed. Not surprising really as JayMack had launched right into "They come into America" by Neil Diamond. Clearly not a fan of American tourists he thought.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 11, 2015, 12:13:30 AM
Scarlet grabbed Doc's arm in excitement. "I have it now! I know where he's hidden it!" She rushed her partner down the long aisle of paranormal romance urban fantasy novels, and into the YA section. "Here!" she cried.

They were standing in front of a shelf that positively glowed with off-kilter good cheer. Doc studied the titles on the spines. The Girl Who Sailed to the Moon in a Rocket Space Designed in Her Backyard and Tied Totpgethrr with Chewing Gum and Chicken Wire. And this was next to The Mouse that Found a Map to the Kingdom of the Goat but Had to Take a Detour into Austin Before Bedtime. Which was tucked in beside A Students Guide to Fairyland or at Least to Its Outer Limits and Sexual Paraphernalia.

"Which one do you think we should take?" asked Doc with a smirk.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 11, 2015, 01:22:12 AM
Scarlet stuck out her tongue at the last suggestion. "Can't stand authors who don't know how to work an apostrophe correctly. Especially on the title. Makes it sound like Kvothe's studies in the 2nd book, and we all know we don't need a repeat of that." She flicked through some more. "Besides," she said for the umpteenth time like it was becoming a catchphrase, "we're here for something a little better."

She pulled out a small leather bound piece of wrapped around leaflets. Nothing like the tome Doc knew her to carry. "That it?" he asked with a good bit of skepticism.

"No silly, this is just the map to the map!"

Oh joy.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 11, 2015, 06:44:54 AM
But that "Doc" Scarlet had been talking to for the past five minutes? It melded into something different at the mere mention of a map. Melded straight into something sinister and maleficent.

It was a goat agent, decked out in a suit so stylin' it would give 007 a run for his money. Could do with a better tie, Scarlet noted as the bleating man stepped toward her. She coughed. Could do with a tic-tac, too.

Waka dropped from the ceiling and jumped between the two. "Not on my watch." He had stolen AR's cane and placed the weapon in both his hands, fighting stance way.

Meanwhile, Doc had found himself in a hidden passageway on the other side of the kerfuffle. "Bea? Scarlet?" He pounded on the stone wall, but nothing happened. Nothing but torches bursting to life down the other way. He shuddered. The walls began to ooze green slime. Man sighed and started off.

Might as well see where it led. Hopefully away from the muck and back toward his friends.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 11, 2015, 09:33:06 AM
Henry had left the party quietly to collect shining objects in Elfy's castle. He snuck around a corner and opened a door. A big gemstone adorned the entrance to the library. He graciously climbed up and started carefully prying at the gem with his knife.
Then he heard a baa-ing sound in the library. Not here too!
He grabbed the gem and busted through the door, flinging a dagger on entry.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 11, 2015, 10:56:31 AM
Henry's blade, guided by the advanced remote control capabilities of his iMonocle, sliced through the air, looking for the throat of a goat, any goat. There was a signed first edition of The three Billy Goats gruff in the Juvenile Lierature section (J-Rath, for Rathnasgridnr, the non de plume of the non-titular troll), and on its cloth-bound face was a gold leaf outline of a goat's head. Having failed to choose the setting for "live goat agent", Henry groaned as the knife stopped five feet through the door, its blade buried deep in the thick book. (It was 582 heavy weight pages, troll's being well known for writing at great length in nothing much. This behavior continued well into the future as trolls migrated to the Internet and became talking heads on Fox News.)

The book screamed. A book next to fell off the shelf and flipped open. The pages started ruffling as though they were caught in a shifting wind. Three other books thudded to the floor. The first book, suddenly flapped its covers and rose, wings beating, into the quiet of the library. From one opened of the vast room to the other, a great substrate on of flapping, flipping pages filled the hallways, and then red-shifted into a sound like a thousand hornets buzzing.

A book whizzed at Henry, and he felt something rip and his clothes. Then he was struck in the head from behind and he felt his hair pulled hard. The damn things had teeth!

Far down down the hall, in the YA section, a cloud of books swarmed over the goat agent reducing it to so much blood and tuxedo. Then they rose up and hovered in front of Waka, preparing to feed.

Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 11, 2015, 12:46:59 PM
Henry stabbed a cookbook (was that Oggy on the cover?!) with his knife and a fountain of whipped cream sprayed across the combatants.
Meanwhile Scarlet fought off the middle part of the Wheel of Time that would go on seemingly forever and Waka would take on the young adult book golem.

Back at the party Jaymack was increasing his debts by buying the dwarfs drinks with money he didn't have and everyone started wondering "who invited these louts to the fancy ball?" and "Weren't they with Tim the Enchanter?" someone remembered out loud.
This debacle would be remembered for thousands of years, indirectly instigate the Great Magician War and ruin Tim's reputation for the duration of at least 12 decent suppers.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Lady Ty on June 11, 2015, 01:03:31 PM
Back at the library The Enchanter Tim crashed through the window, flaming staff in hand,  and shouted

"How many times do I have to say it, get back on those darn shelves before I finish counting or you know what happens next, you've only got yourselves to blame - four-four-five, four-four-six, four-four-seven, four-four-eight,  four-four-nine, four-five......................"

The books left Waka,  rising far above him as they  whirled crazily, tearing and ripping each other in their desperate fight to reach safety. The survivors huddled sulkily trying to hide at the back of the shelves, cowering behind each other.

Tim looked down at the shredded paper on the floor.

"You just never listen to what I say do you?" he snapped. "And the rest of you are grounded with no tech for a week."

Turning to Scarlet and Waka he said amiably, "Come on, mateys, I'll shout you a beer or a choc caramel milkshake, you need a quick pick-me-up after that bedtime nonsense, they always play up when we have visitors."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 11, 2015, 03:57:48 PM
As the muffled cries of flying fiction died farther down the hallway, Doc ran like hell to the other side. Praying he would find a way out. Least before the slime swallowed him whole.

A few minutes gave him no such luck. Chill continued running through a twisting maze of corridors. Open one door. It opened into the exact same thing he had left. What was the point? It made no sense.

It wasn't until the slime started bubbling up at the ground that he became truly worried. To make matters worse, the walls started shaking. As if they too were dancing to the party back in the ballroom. Globs of grime fell down to form blobs of green goo. Doc took a hesitant step back, further in to this enchanted passage, and watched as they sprouted legs and arms. Soon after came the one eye ball and mouth.


"Lo." Two said.

Assuming that they posed no harm, Chill bent down to pick the two hand-sized globs up. They went without a fuss. Hmm. Strange. But maybe useful. "Do you know how to get out of this maze?"



Of course. Gleems in hand, he went farther into the hallway. Man liked that they fit snug inside his pockets.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 11, 2015, 07:34:45 PM
Back at the ball, the captain sighed as he noticed several guests pull d4 dice out of their pockets and roll them. He looked over at JayMack who just gave a sheepish smile and muttered something about one too many beers. The captain pulled out his dice and rolled. Luckily it came up with a one and scratched one hit point of his total.
The pasty looking noble men and women did not look so please to have lost hit points. The group moved omniously onto the dance floor, and a rather large man began a heart rending rendition of 'Nessun Dorma.' Movingly the performance provided the soundtrack to the noble men and ladies grabbing a guest each and beginning to feast on their necks.
"Damn," the captain muttered. He beckoned frantically to the others to leave quickly through the entrance to the library before the vampires decided to feast on them. Alas! Jaymack was propped up against the bar, and the bar man chose that moment to lift the bar and JayMack fell through to the ground loudly breaking several glasses. The opera singer and vampires froze and looked over at the drunk man now laying on the floor surrounded by several broken glasses.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 11, 2015, 08:12:48 PM
Luckily, though boozily, Jaymack still had the Horn of Attention with him. He pulled it out and blew. Then spoke into the sudden silence.

"Now hear this! The cleaning crew is about to remove the curtains from the windows for cleaning. Sunlight in 15 seconds!"

Regardless that it was actually a cloudless night with an amazing view of the stars, the ball-goers forgot this in their mad haste to avoid being turned into so many dust bunnies.

JayMack dusted himself off and joined the captain and the rest as they exited the room. The whole crew found themselves in the library just in time to see Tim the Enchanter motioning their friends into a large VW bus for the ride to the local diner for Choc Caramel Milkshakes.  "Come on! Come on!" sang the enchanter, "Haven't got all bloody night."

Once they were on the road and heading down a few blocks, Scarlet could be heard complaining, "But we're leaving Doc behind!" Meanwhile, Smug was flying lazy circles above the bus, wondering if the huge plastic cow on top of the diner would be tasty.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 11, 2015, 08:57:20 PM
It wasn't, as Smug personally experienced.
Meanwhile the VW bus flew off into the night sky when the front window was suddenly covered in ooze.
"We hit something. Let's flick on the wipers to get that nasty stuff off our van."
The colourful blob fell groundward and they faintly heard it cheer "I'm freeeeeeee." before splatting open across someone's clean laundry.
When Tim looked up he saw they had scooped up someone else as well. It was Doc, clinging to the VW-symbol up front hoping he wouldn't fall in the same fashion as his oozy friend.
Scarlet bent out through the side window. "Hello Doc, why don't you come in?" She smiled gleefully.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 11, 2015, 09:17:06 PM
Apparently that button he had pressed at the end of the passage wasn't an entrance to another room. It was a fancy James Bond trampoline that threw him high into the sky with all his Gleem friends flying alongside him. Somehow, though, he had barreled straight toward the windshield of a VW-van. That was flying, too.

By now, Chill just went with it. But it wasn't until he saw Tim the Enchanter driving the thing, and Smug circling overhead, that he knew it was the best place to hit.

He heard Scarlet from the back window yell, "Hello Doc, why don't you come in?"

He straightened his tie, obliged, and climbed right through. Settled in nicely beside the wizard and asked, "You find your book yet?"

"No," she shook her head. "I got attacked by one of Atku's minions, and then the whole library came alive with winged books. If it wasn't for Tim, well..."

Ah, Tim. The man now with a tarnished reputation, but still something was off about him. Doc scratched his chin.

Cap climbed to their seat, waving some papers around. "Hey, I found some runes. You think-"

"Not the only thing you found," AR commented from opposite the aisle, staring at the lipstick on his neck.

"That's not lipstick you nitwit! Twas a vampire that attacked me. Weren't you in the ballroom?"

He looked away, growing pink. Might've been with Arcane again, but who could tell? A Gleem rolled over to him and snuggled up in his robes. "We there yet?"

"Almost," Tim said pulling levers and knobs. Bob was beside him taking careful notes. It was a slow ride to Elfy's local diner, and for once, the group enjoyed the calm night air. Wouldn't be calm for long but whatever.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 11, 2015, 09:34:19 PM
Scarlet starting reading the pages that the Captain had secured.  "Hmmmm,I recognize some of these... now I'm a bit rusty, and would need access to a dictionary to help me translate some of these runes, but, yes, Aha!"
"What is it?" the Doc asked.
"Well it is either an ancient prophecy predicting a coming goatpoycalypse  or, well, ummm a shopping list," explained Scarlet.   
"How can you mix those up?" the Doc queried. 
"Well see this symbol here, it could refer to blood or tomatoes.  And this one here.  Well it could be the symbol for river or could be the symbol for some archaic form of measurement when people weighed things in pounds."
Everyone in the VW bus laughed.  "What idiot would weigh things in pounds," they all smirked.   
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 11, 2015, 09:42:50 PM
Doc loosened his tie. Was it getting hot in here? "AR can you turn the AC on?"

"AC?" his eyes grew wide. "Where have you been driving lately?"

"So, about that shopping list, er, impending doom."

Scarlet ran her hand down the page again. "Hmm, could be a coupon here for half priced bananas, or it could be the moon exploding into a million ants like that Doctor Who episode. Who knows."

Waka handed her his reading glasses. "This help?"

She threw them on. "Aha!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 11, 2015, 09:49:56 PM
Everyone turned expectantly. 'Yes?'

'There must have been some serious argument in a distant era household. I was right on both counts.
This is a shopping list written on the same paper as an ancient prophecy predicting a coming goatpoycalypse.
Probably the husband couldn't find any spare piece of paper...'

The Cap snorted. 'Anyway, does it say how to defeat the goat?'

'Well, the key bit seems to say
"... and for the goat to bloat you must burn... 2 tubs of mint choc chip ice-cream?"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 11, 2015, 09:53:06 PM
"Hey!" shouted JayMack, "I found a Best of Barry Manilow CD!  We can keep the party going! 
Oh Mandy well,
You came and you gave without fighting,
But I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
Stabbed me and stopped me from fleeing,
And I need you to fight.
Oh, Mandy!"
"Well this racket is not helping with the translation," Scarlet cursed.  "See I can't see if this means a sea captain will lead us into battle, or whether we need some sea cod to cook with chips.  Darn it!"
Doc grimaced.  "Well, not to long to the diner now.  We can make JayMack drink some coffee, and then have another look."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 12, 2015, 02:05:19 AM
The VW tilted earthward and began its descent as the rotating spotlights of the Double TT Diner blazed in the distance. "Landing gear!" called Bob, cranking the manual release handle. "Flaps!" No one answered or did anything. "Flaps!!" screamed Bob. "Now!!!"

The Captain grabbed JayMack and held him out the side door of the van. In the streaming wind, the little king started flapping for his life. "That's it!" Bob crowed. "Flap some more!"

They say any landing you can walk away from is a good landing. Too bad they came in a bit short of the diner. As in, slap dab in the middle of the scum-covered pond a half mile short of the diner. The bus was started to sink when Henry had a sudden flash of memory from his sojourn in Jaapan - well, a bit short of Japan - studying with the guru Yora. He called upon the Howard, and imagined a smooth road up under their wheels. He almost lost the image, but he remembered Yora smacking him with a stick and screaming "There is no do! There is only do!" So he did.

The VW rolled off the pond, back onto the road, and careened to a stop at a parking space in front of the diner. A buxom fellow in spectacular drag roller skated up to the driver's window and leaned his her elbow on the edge. "Hey, Tim," she cooed. "Want the usual?"

"Oh yes," said the enchanter. "Five tin cans please, and some Choc Caramel Milkshakes for my friends here."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 12, 2015, 03:36:22 AM
They dried themselves off just as you could hear "Copaaaa. Copacobana." Sputter off from the sinking VW. The crew shuffled inside soon after.

Only Jaymack weeped at the lost CD treasure.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 12, 2015, 11:50:44 AM
Yes, it was an amazing backwards slide for the VW. Just as Tim had placed the order, and everyone was settling in  for a good cry to Manilow's Weekend in New England, they felt the VW begin to shift under them. Henry suddenly started panicking, and ordered "Everyone out!" Water gushed into the car, and they scrambled to exit.

What had happened, you ask?

Well, the pond they'd escaped was a sentient water citizen from the planet Aquaria, and it needed iron, steel and chrome to recharge its interstellar drives. Losing the VW to Henry's power of the Howard was too much for its patience. It reached out with a tongue of rancid water and snagged the old machine. Soon the flood waters were dragging the van pack to the main body of the pond. There was a swallowing sound and the vehicle was gone.

As the intrepid crew of the VW shook the viscious water from their shoes and the viscous lyrics from their minds, they watched the pond lift itself from the shackles of gravity and sail into the never never. From a great distance they heard a voice: "I'm freeeeeeee!"

JayMack wept, though whether for the creature, the VW or the 8-track player no one will ever know.

"Well," said Arcane. "I'm about ready for that milkshake." And they traipsed inside.

(The fact that a few minutes earlier they could have sworn the VW was sinking to the tune of Copa Cabana made no sense to anyone except the enchanter, who quietly laughed and polished his horns.)
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 12, 2015, 03:48:00 PM
Doc ordered two and decided he needed to read a little closer next time.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ScarletBea on June 12, 2015, 05:32:16 PM
Scarlet continued to try to decipher the scrolls...

'For the goat god to stop, shout ... pizza?
When evil throws spells, move your... eggs? and whisper... salad cream?
Oh for crying out loud, I'm ready to kill someone!'

'Hold your horses, lady, save your anger for when you face Aktu!', soothed Doc. 'Would you like a Choc Caramel milkshake?'

'Make it a banana milkshake for me, please!'
Suddenly the little kitty cat showed up at her shoulder and miawed loudly. 'Oh, where had you gone, we haven't seen you in pages and pages! Hey Doc, order 2 banana ones, I think little Rappie wants one too'
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 12, 2015, 05:44:55 PM
Their buxom roller skating waitress came by at last with 5 tin cans for Tim and choc caramel and/or banana milkshakes all round.

Tim leaned over curiously to see what Scarlet was reading. He carelessly bumped a milkshake, and it started to tip over onto the runes/shopping list pages. Henry was watching, though - he'd been wondering about the enchanter for a little while now - and he Howard'd the slop back onto it base.

"How almost careless of me! Ha ha!" apologized Tim with a wink and a grimace.

Kassin leaned across the table now to see. He glanced at Justin who was just barely invisible in his corner of the diner booth. "Do you sense the shadowing placed on these pages, my apprentice?"

Justin elbowed forward a bit. "I think so..."

Kassin extruded a new crystal form his abdominal pouch and bit it in half. A strange blue powder drifted over the pages of runes and foods. Suddenly  the runes clarified and the foods faded into the background. The alien snorted in satisfaction.

Until the runes began rearranging themselves on the page.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 12, 2015, 08:07:39 PM
"Dinosaurs shall walk the Earth,
Alongside well endowed raccoons.
A foul wind shall blow.
The vampire court shall feast.
An enchanter shall deceive.
An old crooner will meet his greatest fan.
The top of Mount Badger shall blow.
Blood will rain from the sky.
A great trap shall be set.
Armies of dwarves and elves shall fight.
A portal to another world shall be opened.
The goat will send forth his minions,
The goat will rule for ever more.
Unless he meets in battle,
A scarlet lady armed with a talisman,
From the far reaches of this galaxy.
The gnomes shall fly again.
Beware the black spot, beware the .... unmm after that it stops short,"  Scarlet looked at them all. "What does it all mean?"

Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 12, 2015, 11:31:23 PM
"Sounds like we need another round of milkshakes! Tim, go grab us some more, would ya?" Doc slurped the last of his drink and slammed it down on the counter. Diner was suitably retro and funky fresh. He liked it. Liked the vanilla shakes even more, though, and continued to gulp them down when the waitress skated over again. Even though they were inside. "What was that about Mount Badger? Sounds like a tourist trap."

"I'm more interested about the gnomes," Bob mumbled from the kiddy table. He was just mad because Henry wouldn't let him win a game of cards.

Cap, however, had a suggestion. "Could the black spot be me-"

"No," Doc said squeezing in beside him. He had just learned Jaymack and Waka were lactose-intolerant. "I'd rather we leave block spots out of the brainstorming for now. Let's focus on the beginning. 'Dinosaurs shall walk the Earth.'"

AR sipped his shake. "I think that requires some research. Like, as in us all going to see Jurassic World tonight."

Tim tapped his nose. "But remember, the Volkswagen (who calls it a VW anyway?!) is in the middle of the pond. How are we going to get there?"

Henry pulled out his d4 dice and rolled. "Don't know, but I think Jaymack already has enough gas to get us there."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: ArcaneArtsVelho on June 13, 2015, 11:59:47 AM
"Hmm. I could build a machine that uses (unnatural) gas to generate propulsion", Bob wondered. "Let's see. Yes. I could make it quite compact. Five inches in diameter and probably two feet in length. It would need to be inserted directly to the gas source, though."

Jaymack snorted his milkshake (a soy variant now) out of his nose, clenching his butt cheeks together as the gnome spoke.

"Ew! I don't think we are that desperate to see a movie about animals we have first-hand experience from the lighthouse island", Scarlet reasoned. And suddenly after saying that, it dawned on her, "Don't you see? We are way past the dinosaurs and the raccoons. And there has certainly been quite foul winds as of late." She glanced at Jaymack and Waka. "We saw the vampires too. So I would say we are at the 'An enchanter shall deceive' part. Do we know any enchanters?"

Everyone wondered for a second and then turned their heads at Tim who was behind the counter, standing by the milkshake machines with his tin cans.

"It's him! He's the deceiver! Tim's 'spamming' the milkshakes!" yelled A.R., and then he threw up the sweet and savory liquid. "I thought the clumps were spiced pieces of banana!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 13, 2015, 03:27:01 PM
Whilst his team mates were throwing up, JayMack had wandered over to a poster. "Hey! Barry Manilow is playing at the palace tomorrow night, and it says here I can win backstage passes to meet him in person if I win a karaoke contest at a convenient location which takes play in just a few posts time!"
He looked over. Several of his team mates were barfing over the diner. And Tim was giggling to himself. Jaymack stormed over. "Now I maybe a little drunk, but I hereby duel you to a challenge!"
"Challenge me to a duel? Hmmm. Okay. I chose karaoke as the means! See you in a few posts time!" Tim chucked before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Meanwhile Ogg and Scarlet had disappeared into the kitchen to cook up a remedy.

Looking to get Barry Manilow out of his head, Chill was playing with the juke book. Having even worse taste in music than Jay Mavk he selected a disc by Nickelback. Suddenly the floor he was on rotated with the juke box into a cavity behind the wall. Where he had been standing stood a different juke box defiantly playing bloody Nickelback.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 13, 2015, 06:53:33 PM
The old, dusty dive bar reminded him of that time back in San Antonio. The smell and the sweaty bikers already made him on edge, but the stares? "Hey, who touched the jukebox? Rockstar was almost on, and I was excited." The voice in question didn't have a pretty face, all scared up and tattooed. (Yeah, face tats weren't a good sign, either.) Still, Doc slipped his hands into his pockets and tried to play it off cool.

"Guys," he kicked the wall. Next hit had a little more force Howard. "Guys! Little help here!"

The others couldn't hear his cries, though, not over the puking or the Nickleback song. One skinhead stood and cracked a bottle on one bar stool. "Hope you got a good singing voice."

Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 13, 2015, 07:02:21 PM
The Doc gave the jukebox a kick but it carried on playing bloody Barry Manilow.  "Ummm ... I can't smile without you..." began the Doc in a stuttering voice. The boos began immediately and a bottle of something he hoped was beer landed near his foot, smashing into pieces.

Meanwhile on the other side the others were desperately clutching their ears whilst violently throwing up. "Who put bloody Nickelback on!" they screamed in unison.
Scarlet and Ogg popped cotton wool in their ears and frantically scoured their cook books and spell books for an antidote.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 13, 2015, 09:46:45 PM
As an enormous biker with the words "Make Mine Fresh" tattooed on his forearm strode toward him, Doc started turning out his pockets, hoping for something useful. Surprisingly, the a gleams had hitched a ride, they thought the spinning jukebox was great fun, and now they popped out of Doc's pockets.

"Oh, guys, am I glad to see you! Any idea how we can get out of here?"


"tal?" they suggested.

"Exactly! And hurry!" The green blobs began chanting, and across the room, space twisted on itself, revealing a space where there shouldn't be a space and a door in it where there shouldn't be a door. Doc grabbed the guys and ran for his chastity life, bowling over bikers and biker chicks. With the Sons of Arkady bearing done on him and slapping broken pool cues in their fists, Doc yelled "Rememebr the Alamo!" Which had nothing to do with anything, but did make him feel good. He leaps into the portal, just as a chain whizzed past his head.

The space between worlds was cold as it could be, but Chill held his breath and fell out onto a sawdust covered wooden floor. He looked around. Another bar. He was on stage. There were handsome men on either side of him. A construction worker, an Indian, a cop, a sailor and a leatherman. He looked down and found his medieval clothes had been replaced by a cowboy outfit. He stared out into the bar, which was filled to capacity with men. "Start twisting those hips, Tex," ordered the cop.

"Portal!" yelled Doc.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 13, 2015, 09:55:47 PM
This time the portal opened into a dressing room.  On a chair in front of a dresser sat a man who clearly had a bit too much work done on him with blue eyes, and a blonde mullet.  "Where is my usual make up artist?" the confused man asked.
"Gastric flu," explained Chill, and began to apply foundation to the man's face.
"I am so tired of singing bloody Mandy," the man confided in Chill. "I mean it paid for at least three wives, and several villas, but really, it's been 40 bloody years of singing that song, night after night."
"I know someone who loves that song very much," replied Chill. "The night you stop singing it, I fear his heart will break."
The man looked Chill in the eye with his own piercing blue eyes. "It's good to hear you say that.  But I think you have applied way too much foundation."
At this point a woman holding a big bag of make up appeared at the changing room door.
"PORTAL!" shouted Chill. 
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 14, 2015, 03:02:34 AM
Chilling and the Gleems emerged from the next portal into a long grey corridor with heavy, iron bound doors on each side set a few feet apart. A crowd of people were milling around, high giving each other, hugging, and celebrating, in the midst though, Scarlet was standing next to another woman. Both were weeping.

Chill was completely confused about what could be happening. He walked up to Scarlet. "Red, what are you doing here?"

"I'm weeping because you and a Overlord are stuck in the Forum's setting dimension, after having returned us the Karma settings and defeating Atku."

"Have you been drinking?" asked Doc.

"No. But, what are you doing here! Oh, you got out!" She threw her arms around him and started weeping all over again.

"But, Red," said Chill,"We're still fighting Atku."

The other woman looked hard at Doc. "I don't think this is Caleb," she said.

"But Arry, he's right here. I'm crying on his shoulder."

"Where are you from, friend?" asked the woman Revd had called Arry.

"Fantasia.  Well, Texas, by way of Fanatsia,  I guess."

The Gleems poked their heads out of Chill's pocket, and looked at each other. "Should." "Not." "Be." "Here." they said, and they opened up a new portal directly under Doc's feet.

"Hey, Fantasia," said Arry as Doc vanished. "Remember. The Goat can be killed. You just need to take away his. -" But Doc was back in the cold in between.

Which dumped him into the Double TT Diner, where the karaoke battle was about to get started.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 14, 2015, 04:59:18 AM
They opened with an announcement from Weird Al. "Okay, boys and girls. Don't want no nails or hair pulling. I want a clean fight, ya hear? I want it to come from the gut. From the diaphragm." He breathed in a deep breath. "I want to hear ya scream!"

So of course Bob v. Henry started with "White and Nerdy." Bob had the push lawnmower ready, cutting milkshake glass with his indestructible machine.

"They see me mowin'
My front lawn.
I know they all be thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy."

Henry put in a good head shake. "Think I'm just too white and nerdy!"

"Gleems, you want to take me to another Realms?"

AR grabbed his arm and said, "But they're just getting to the good part."

Bob had his lawnmower outside now and was cutting all the weeds to nubs. 'Kind of like the competition,' AR had commented.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 14, 2015, 01:51:56 PM
Competition began to heat up.  A.R. Cane and Arcane decided to duet together on Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra's memorable "Something Stupid", although A.R. Cane singing in a falsetto voice was slightly off putting.  The Captain led the whole room in a series of sea shanties.  Scarlet touched everyone in the room with her moving rendition of "Last Christmas."  Waka got up and sang the theme tune to the 2012 Wold Cup, "It's time for Africa."  The Spaniards in the room appreciated that as it reminded them of past glories.  Then it was time for JayMack to take the stage.  Of course he sang songs by the Manilow, and wasn't content with one, but sang a medley of the old crooner's most beloved tunes.  By the time he was singing "I can't smile without you," there was not a dry eye in the house.  Bikers could be seen openly weeping, and one ogre left the room to ring his mother, and tell her he loved her.  It looked like JayMackhad it in the bag, then Tim took the room.  With a smile he began,
"Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

...always look on the bright side
of life...

'Oh bugger' whispered JayMack to the Doc.  'Everyone is whistling along.'

Always look on the light side
of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
- that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright
side of life...

Come on.

Always look on the right side
of life...

'Velma damn it!' Jaymack snapped at the rest.  'All of you are joining in now!'

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain
with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the
audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance

So always look on the bright side
of death...

a-Just before you draw your terminal breath...

'We need a new plan!' Jaymack frantically whispered to the Doc.  'He's got this in the bag!'

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see its all a show, keep 'em laughin as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

Always look on the bright side
of life...

Always look on the right side
of life...

C'mon Brian, cheer up

Always look on the bright side
of life...

Always look on the bright side
of life...

Worse things happen at sea you know.

I mean - what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing.

It was so catchy that at this point even JayMack joined in.
Always look on the right side
(I mean) of life...

what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost?

Always (Nothing.) look on the right side of life...

Nothing will come from nothing ya know what they say?
Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin!
There ya go, see!

Always look on the right side of life...
(Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin! At same time)

There ya go, see!"

The room erupted int applause.  Elf was hugging ogre.  Biker hugging librarian.  The whole room in unison began to chant Tim's name.  Then up to the stage stepped the Doc. Hesitantly at first he began,

"Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere ..."
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 14, 2015, 04:27:21 PM
Jaymack hit the drums just in sync with the beat. If he couldn't win the duel by his lonesome, he would help Doc win in his place.

"Just a city boy,
Born and raised in South Detroit.
He took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere."

The crowd roared. Tim the Enchanter soon became Tiny Tim and shuffled his feet in anxiety. How?! The gunslinger gave his best for his friend, upping the ante.

"A singer in a smokey room.
The smell of wine and cheap perfume.
For a smile that can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on!"

The diner had reached a fever pitch, and nobody could help but join in at,


Doc winked at his former enemy. The smiles on their face told them they had this in the bag.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 14, 2015, 05:19:41 PM
As if they had been joined together through some form of chemical fusion, the crowd all joined together in a rousing finale.
"Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people."

The crowd all rose to their feet and applauded as one.  Even Tim the Enchanter stepped over to give the Doc a handshake.
"Never again will I used my powers for evil," he sniffled.  "My small heart grew three sizes this night.  Listen and you might hear it."
The Doc lowered his ear to Tim's chest, and indeed he could hear the sound of the withered old heart of the enchanter growing. 
"Here," Tim said, "In this envelope there are back stage passes for all you for the Barry Manilow concert tomorrow night.  But I must warn you.  The vampire court are planning something big.  Long has it been rumoured that Manilow himself is a vampire, doomed to eternally sing 'Mandy'.  I suspect the Vampire Court will strike, long have they feasted at the hooves of Atku!"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 14, 2015, 07:05:31 PM
With that, the Enchanter vanished in a puff of smoke all ninja-like. The group coughed as the smoke cleared, and saw that all Tim had left was a note. Scarlet picked it up and read, "Toodles!" It smelled of jasmine and oranges. She kept it for "research."

"So," she turned around to the group. They still hummed along and even Bob was singing, "Don't stop believin'."

"Anybody want another round of milkshakes?"

The waitress skated over to the crew, glasses brimming to the top with milky goodness. "Somebody ask for fifths?"
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 14, 2015, 07:10:03 PM
The captain took the waitress by the arm and led her back to the kitchen, where he whispered something in her ear that made her giggle and slip him a piece of paper.
"Now. No more milkshakes! We have only just cleaned up the vomit from the last round. We need to find a tavern and get a good night sleep. We have vampires to fight and a concert to go to tomorrow!" barked the captain.
"And while you are all enjoying the concert, I'll slip back into Elfy's library and see what I can find out about this talisman," added Scarlet.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 14, 2015, 07:27:00 PM
Waka bemoaned the objection to more milkshakes. He jumped on top of the counter and started puffing and shaking his hands. Henry moved the tantrum into jazz hands, though, and settled the situation soon enough.

"C'mon," Cap twirled the waitress. "I think I saw a tavern down the road. Little lady's just leaving her shift, too, ain't she?" The girl giggled and nodded her head.

"Hey Bob, you finish that machine yet?" He lifted his head up from a cardboard box. Gnome waved around his hammer and goggles.

"Almost. Give me a sec."

By now, AR and Arcane had joined in with the jazz hands and grins. Kassin muttered something about, "Uncultured swine," and set to showing them how it's done. Which involved moving your hips to the beat too. Obviously.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Nighteyes on June 14, 2015, 07:39:42 PM
The group spent the night at the nearby Travelodge, and things for the most part appeared to pass peacefully, apart from the captain shouting out "There she blows!" a few times during the night and waking everyone up.
Scarlet spent the night at her desk, perusing the books she had for mention of the talisman that might be the one in the prophecy.  She first considered their figurine of Velma, the blessed virgin, but she quickly crossed it off, as it was clearly from the Earth, not the far reaches of the galaxy. About 1 am came a knock on her door.
"Couldn't sleep either?" she smiled at the Doc who was standing disheveled at her door wearing a gorilla onesie. 
 "Well I did doze off for a bit," the Doc admitted, "But the captain shouting out 'There she blows!' woke me up."
"This talisman seems crucial.  Fighting the vampire court, saving the people who live nearby Mount Badger, averting a war between the elves and dwarves.  Fixing these things.  They are all sticky plasters.  I need a weapon that can help us stop Atku."
"Well, Tim distracted us in the library last time.  But this time we don't leave until we find the information we need."
"Hmmm," smiled Scarlet running her hands through the Doc's hair, "They are showing rerunning of Buffy on the hotel's cable.  Neither of us will be able to sleep with the Captain bellowing away.  Let's settle down with some room service, charged to JayMack's card."
"Sounds a plan, darling," the Doc smiled. 
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: JMack on June 14, 2015, 08:55:20 PM
First Dawn over Fantasia. The twin suns cast strange bi-shadows, tricking the eye. The Goat's nine Darkbills waited out Pontificus, until it dipped below the horizon, leaving his brother Protifax the sole light in the sky. Objects were restored to a single shadow, a clear outline. With Second Dawn, the birds should have begun their morning song. But it seemed the whole of nature held is breath outside the Econolodge. The Darkbills slipped into the lobby.

"Can I help you gentle- urk!" The pimply-faced teenage at the front desk would never make it to his nineteenth birthday. Never know the embrace of a man. Never know the pain of child birth. -wait, start that over - The pimply faced teenager at the front deck would never feel the embrace of a woman, or the pride of fatherhood. His lifeblood drained away into the industrial, easy-clean carpeting.

The leader of the Darkbills ran a hoof down the guest ledger. There. Rocdot Lilch "The Texan thinks to deceive us brothers by rearranging the letters of his name. But we are wise to his ways." He glanced in a mirrored pillar and straightened the spectral crown that sat between his spiral horns. "Go, my Bills, go!" he hissed.

Room 2343189 was at the end of a long hallway. The goats were temporarily distracted by the sound of whaling from one room and an episode of Buffy playing at high volume in another. From a third, they heard a sleepy voice humming "I Don't Want to Walk Without You, Baby".

They gathered outside the Texan's door. One of them began to use hand signals to indicate he would go in high, while another Bill should go in low, and a third should -

Blam! The great Darkbill king lowered his head and broke down the hotel room door. There was a man-shaped figure buried under the covers of the bed. The Goats quickly surrounded the bed and raised their daggers high above their heads. The tearing, ripping, and pounding sounded through the hotel hallways, with a backdrop of bleating and screaming.

Three green blobs popped out of the shredded bedclothes. "Breakfast" "Yet?" asked the Gleems.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Henry Dale on June 14, 2015, 09:02:06 PM
Henry sat in the back of the gnome's travelling machine with Jaymack and the gnome.
He played another Royal Flush, pulling all the cap's chips to his side.
"There she blows!" The captain cursed as he had done all night. They had been playing all the time.
"Another round?" Henry asked, shuffling the cards. "I'll let you cut this time, if that makes you feel better."
"Hold a minute..." Jaymack said. Something's up with these cards...why do I always get 4 jokers? For one, there aren't even that many in a deck...and I don't recall them being part of poker."
Henry's smile would not falter. "Jaymack, you shouldn't try to cheat. Put the jokers back."

Scarlet looked to the back. "Guys, if you could stop restyling Henry's face, I'd like your attention for something I found.
Title: Re: RPG 2015: United At Last
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 14, 2015, 09:29:35 PM
Doc stood at the edge of the window, broken glass strewn all across the emerald blades. They hadn't put up a fight. Hadn't done much, really. Only seen him outside after the Gleems and charged full throttle without thinking. Goats were notorious for running half-cocked.

It had proven their downfall, as you could clearly see. Three bodies lay in the grass, arms and legs a crumpled mass all tangled together and comical. All it had taken were three well placed shots, and Doc knew how to do that at least. He had heard them enter through the back. Heard their bleats as they died, too. AR would've said something about innocence, but there was no such thing in these beasts.

However, Scarlet had drug Henry, Bob, and Jaymack over to see their predicament. "Three of Atku's agents," the Northern King proclaimed. "How'd they get here? Are they following me?"

"Following us," Scarlet corrected. "I think they're looking for this talisman, seeing as the Wild Ring was a farce. Maybe they know what's going on? Maybe they know we're coming?"

"Maybe they know-"

"Thar she blows!"

The tavern got real quiet right after. Crickets echoed off the marsh lands out in the distance. All the crew could do was stare and silently wonder to themselves. Atku was real now; plain as day and not a reckoning to be messed with. But more than that, more than anything they had seen so far on their journey, it dawned on them that he was getting closer.

There was no time to lose.