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Author Topic: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond  (Read 18439 times)

Offline JMack

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RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« on: May 29, 2015, 02:01:25 AM »
HERE BEGINNETH THE THREAD
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline Doctor_Chill

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2015, 02:31:30 AM »
BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING IN YOUR THREAD. NOTHING HAHA.
“It’s a dangerous thing, pretense. A man ought to know who he is, even if he isn’t proud to be it.” - Tomorrow the Killing, Daniel Polansky

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Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2015, 02:39:24 AM »
While JayMack's father was distracted, Karrin used his own Anti-shadow Tech to blast a whole straight through the quivering mass of the giant. The former king's skull flew out of the engorged creature and rolled to a smoking stop at Smug's feet. The little dragon ate it in one snap of his jaws, crunching it between his powerful three rows of teeth. The monster screamed and dissolved into a puddle, crying out with its last breath: "The hips! The hips!"

But Smug was spitting and belching and whining for its foul snack. He hid under Oggy's robes.

JayMack called to his now reunited crew of heroes. "I don't know how we got here, or what's really happening, but I don't think that howling Frenchman out there is good news at all. Everyone into this convenient light house here. We need to get our act together. It's time to finally tell you our mission and to share out the treasures that Justin is hoarding over in the corner."
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline Lady Ty

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2015, 09:12:55 AM »
Everyone gathered in the lighthouse and gathered their breathe, wits and bits together. Oggy seemed to have arrived with hampers and parcels despite getting entangled with the Zombie King.

"You can eat while you plan "she said, settling KingkillerJaymack in the centre of the circle.
“Here you go, Kingy, get your choppers round these Oriole Mollylands with sourcorn fritters, that’ll go down a treat with this good slug of Wild Lurkers to put some spit in your whistle. Now, you’re the boss, so just remember – Scuto cibi egregiae voluntatis tuae coronasti nos and for all you ignorant lot who can’t speak Klingonian that means  “ with  excellent grub you’ll get your crown”.

She turned and called Smug to help drag a large wrapped package to Kassin .
“Here you are wyrmkin, think this will suit, and there’s a cask of Chateau Sang de Buffles just near the wall.” The package looked very large, bloodily bloody and smelt gross.  Kassin gave her a terrifying toothy grin, his teeth gleaming  and gnashing  together. He looked at Smug making gruff grunts and the dragon laughed so hard he began to fart stinky green smoke.  Oggy looked questioningly at Smug. So he burbled quickly and quietly into her ear.

“Oh, mytripe and onions, that wasn’t very nice and the King would be very upset to hear about it. In any case we need him as our leader and he may need an heir one day for his kingdom. Tell Kassin to keep those thoughts to himself "

She gave the tigerthingy a severely hard Paddington stare.  Everyone nearby pretended they hadn’t heard a thing but clustered round the hampers, poking around and peering inside.

“Shoo you lot, get back and don’t mess up. “Oggy laughed and calling The Cat from the corner poured a green soup from a thermos into a large bowl. ” Here, little furball,  some hot KKKaaaaryleeetieKaliKookieyum for you and a special piece of smashed up Berlusconi to chew on.”

The cat stalked over with his tail held high, sniffed the soup, walked away, twitched his whiskers, came back, wound around Oggy’s ankles, gave a satisfied feline grin and began to slurp at the soup.

“Where’s that tall gentleman - can’t have you walkin’ round like a skinny streak o’lard, come over here with me.”   Oggy bustled a rather alarmed Henry towards a hamper and, pulling things out at top speed, handed him a bottle of  Aaardmonnikvark Old Bruin. 

"Get some of that inside you, warm the cockles of your heart it will.  Here's a WaterZoo Giraffe Bloodin to nibble on while we wait for Jaymack Kingkiller to do some thinkin'."

Henry smiled to himself, thinking whatever happened he was going to keep in Oggy’s good graces. Wouldn’t even need to steal food for a change.

"Aaah, Justin, glad to feed a lad like you who sticks up for the English language.  Bonny boy, it'd be a pleasure to mentor you in Zummerzet dialect, just practice 'OOOO ARRRR' fer now and you'll can impress Overlord next time he pops by from SupermareOlympus. Still, back to business, made you some Mockingbird, Peach and Pecan pie, with Roswell Waste Salad and Miss Daisy's Special Coke to wash it all down."

Oggy surveyed them all gobbling, nibbling, chomping and munching She heaved a sigh of relief.  Then a voice behind her growled  "So I go hungry, woman?"

"Oh SweetSaintedFannyAdams, Arcane,  don't you ever make me jump like that and don't you ever "WOMAN" me in that tone of voice, do you hear? Have a look in the hampers for now and get that Alter shadow of yours to PM country of origin,  allergies or preferences to me quick smart. I suppose you thought I didn't notice him, slipping around at your shoulder huh?"

Oggy sat down, grabbed a TiddyOggy and a bottle of Glen Fiddich and left them all to decide how to do whatever they were meant to do next. Smug joined her with a pile of chocolate raspberrie muguffffin, his special TurtleshellCupcake and a look of bliss. They smirked and winked at each sitting back to watch the show circus crew.



« Last Edit: May 29, 2015, 10:23:42 AM by Lady Ty »
“This is the problem with even lesser demons. They come to your doorstep in velvet coats and polished shoes. They tip their hats and smile and demonstrate good table manners. They never show you their tails.” 
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Offline Henry Dale

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2015, 10:02:55 AM »
"The obvious way is up to the top." Spoke Henry with his mouth full of Oggy's delight. "The dragon diamond is most likely there."
Arcane turned to him. "What do you know of the diamond? I've the feeling you're holding back on us."
Henry smiled and whipped up a quick pitiful backstory.
"I come from the small nation Belgarium, where the maidens are sweet and the waffles equal so."
The bard decided this was an opportunity for a song but was hurriedly muffled by the others and Henry continued his elaborate lie.
"Belgarium fears the kingdom of Fantasia and there is one thing that can stop an invasion. The Dragon Diamond."

Offline Nora

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2015, 10:49:34 AM »
"AAAAAATTCHOOOOOOAAAARK!"

The horrifying noise came from Kassin, who rubbed a bloody nose on his paw-like hands.

"Sorry," said the otherwordly tiger-dragon, "I'm highly allergic to lies."
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline Henry Dale

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2015, 11:00:39 AM »
And they were all covered in otherworldly tiger-dragon snot.

Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2015, 12:00:20 PM »
And they were all covered in otherworldly tiger-dragon snot.

And damn, it burned! Oggy of the amazing food [and amazing nonsense writing, seriously, she needs to write a children's book], pulled cooling towelettes from her basket, ripped off the tops of the envelopes and passed the moist, alcohol-laden tissues around.

"Look, everyone," started Black JayMack, "we need to get some matters settled. Then we can look for diamonds and snuff out lies.

"First, I'm passing out your payment for joining our merry band."

Finally, thought Henry and Justin in mental unison - gold.

JayMack reached into the treasure sack and withdrew a wallet. He pulled from it a sheaf of rectangular papers, printed in wild colors with holograms embedded in the ink. He passed a paper to each of his heroes. The papers were marked '50 Guildlings, legal tender in 83.5 planes of existence, can be exchanged for gold pieces at Bank of Realmspace.' They had a picture of very cute goat in the center.

"What is this shite?" grumbled Arcane.

"Oh, this is actually quite good!" enthused Kassin. "This run of Guildlings has been out of print for centuries. I can buy some serious crystal for just one of these. Collectors are mad for them."

"So you're going to give us the gold?" asked Justin, who was now very puzzled.

Kassin thought for a moment about the risk of obligating himself to these mere humans. It was not in his nature to do so. But the goat-run bills! "Yes," he answered with a note of oath-taking. "I will exchange your cash for gold, this I swear."

"Didn't think you needed to go that far," said the Cat around a mouthful of Berlusconi.

"Now, on to the rest," continued JayMack, silently thanking the stars for the odd collecting habits of this strange tiger-dragon alien, if not for its allergies. "A magical object for each of us, retrieved from my evil father's stash. I just hope that this odor of goat I'm getting from the treasure bag was only because of the Guildlings."

Treasure bag, thought Alter. It reminded him of a song, and soon Arcane was singing under his breath:

Quoth she, "What is this so stiff and warm?" —
 down-e-down-e-downy-o
"Tis Ball, my nag, he will do you no harm" —
Lolly-low-lolly-low-lolly-lolly-lolly-low

"But what is this hangs under his chin?" —
down-e-down-e-downy-o
"Tis the bag he puts his provender in." —
Lolly-low-lolly-low-lolly-lolly-lolly-low

Smug toddled over and barfed the remnants of the vengeance ghoul's skull into Arcane's lap.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2015, 01:57:58 PM by Jmack »
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline Nora

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2015, 12:43:20 PM »
"However," Kassin interrupted as he noticed the cat's bum poking out of the treasure bag, "I must call dibs on any crystals present in that bag. I believe we'll find a Coronk cube and a small chip of Incal, and I want both. None of you evolved apes know how to use them and if that cats licks the cube, he's as good as dead, just saying".

The cat back off from the bag and cast a dubious look at his winged trans-dimentional relative.
Justin and Arcane started blabbering at the same time, the first going on about being in this together and team efforts payback and fairness, and the second about cunning devices to abuse everyone and how dragon vomit was worse than tiger-dragon snot.
Henry tried to make them shut up, and Oggy was cradling smug in her arms and sing songing to him.

Jaymack, really, was the cunning one, not losing track of the important stuff.
"How do you know what's in the bag?" He asked.
"Mostly I can smell it," was Kassin's dry answer. "But I can sense crystals. They resonate here, and there," he pointed at some of his ribs and following intricate lines of gold symbols running in the inside of his arms.
"However, besides the fact that I'm the only one able to use a Coronk or an Incal, I'm also able to triple my size and kill most of the ones who'll try to say no. These are very valuable."

Henry frowned at that. "Hey, how much gold are you willing to pay to get your dibs on them?"
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2015, 01:27:09 PM »
Laughable humans, thought Kassin. Little did they know that his race could excrete gold. "I will pay double the gold for your goat-issue currency," he pronounced.

The humans looked from one to the other. "That'll work," said JayMack. "The dragon-tiger-alien gets all the crystals in the treasure bag."

Now Kassin would just need to find a large source of lead to ingest.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2015, 01:29:09 PM by Jmack »
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
www.starlit-lands.com

Offline Henry Dale

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2015, 03:00:25 PM »
Henry secretly slipped one of the strange dangerous gems in his pockets. They looked valuable enough. He grinned.
"Right! We should get going, ladies and gentlemen!" He jumped onto the bottom of the first staircase and led the group up.

Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2015, 03:07:26 PM »
The group watched Henry head up the stairs.

"He does know there are 225 stories to this thing, doesn't he?" asked Arcane. "It's a long climb."

"Well," said JayMack, "Give me a few minutes here to pass around the magic items, explain the quest, and we'll follow after him. Hopefully nothing will eat him in the meantime."
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline Nora

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2015, 03:07:44 PM »
But presently a tug stopped him on the fifth step.

"Did you not hear me, or do you still take me for the offspring of a bat and a house cat?" It was Kassin's voice, growling in his ear.
"Ah, yes, what, sorry what?" Henry played it confused. He was good at that.

There was no escaping the long clawed fingers of the monster that had a grasp of him, and soon enough the gem was in Kassin's hands.

For a second there was a flash of purple light, then darkness, before things returned to normal. The gem had disappeared, and Kassin looked... more black. His normal self, but with less white on his hide.
Somehow this made smug laugh. The crystal was nowhere in sight.

"What was that about?" Justin inquired.
"I'm not sure" Arcane answered. "Hey, I sense something very interesting in that bag Arcane, you should insist on those spoils to be spread before you guys start doing anything silly. Like walking. I'll point out the useful one for you." Actually the familiar was getting quite excited.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2015, 03:09:42 PM by Nora »
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline Rukaio_Alter

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Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2015, 04:09:59 PM »
"Can I take a look at that thin tube?" Arcane asked, reaching for the object his familiar had pointed out.

"Hmm? Sure."

Jaymack passed over a small, black cylindrical object. It felt light, as if it was hollow. Arcane examined it for a few seconds, before discovering that one of the ends was removable. Inside were three rolled-up scrolls. Arcane drew in a sharp breath. Slowly, he reached out with his sense and touched one. A slight tingle rang along his finger, so subtle that it could've been missed by anyone not searching for it. That confirmed it. These were summoning scrolls. Maybe not for familiars as powerful or versatile as Alter, but useful tools nonetheless.

"I'll take this." He said quickly. A little too quickly.

"What is it?" Justin asked.

"None of your business." Arcane said cheerfully.

"It's fine if you show them." Alter said. "The creator was clever enough to disguise his work. They won't be able to see its true purpose from a look."

Arcane sighed. "Fine, fine."

He picked out one of the scrolls and unraveled it for Justin to see. Unfortunately what Alter did not tell him was what the scroll was disguised as. Apparently the creator of the scrolls was very fond of... risque material. There was a loud hush from the group and many awkward coverings of laps. Oggy placed a hand in front of Smug's eyes.

"Huh." Justin blinked. "No wonder you wanted that."

Jaymack gave an awkward cough. "If that is all you wish, then you are perfectly welcome to the Jaymack family's... private collection."

Arcane's eye was twitching quite furiously at this point. If he wasn't so happy about the prize he had just received, he would be perfectly to choke Alter right about now.

Kassin merely watched the scene with exasperation. "You humans and your <censored>."

"Still I can't help but wonder." Alter said, as a heavily blushing Arcane tucked the scrolls away safely. "The true meaning of those scrolls should be obscured to anyone except summoners. Yet how did Jaymack's father know the scrolls were important enough to hide away in his private treasure stash?"

Little did Alter know that Jaymack's father had absolutely no idea as to the true purpose of the summoning scrolls. He just really liked his porn.
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Offline ultamentkiller

Re: RPG 2015: JayMack's Quest for the Dragon Diamond
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2015, 05:54:54 PM »
"I think it's time I had a look at that bag. There might be more.. Interesting things in there." After snickering at Arcane and smiling to himself at the annoyance showing on his face, Justin reached and grabbed the bag. "He began muttering to himself as he rifled through the contents. "Weird things... More weird things... More weird... Wait, what is this?" It was a small, silvery object, crafted into a symbol that he had never seen before. Or had he? Something about the object pulled at him. It made him want to disappear into the shadows and wander away. Yes... Maybe just for a bit... Justin stopped himself. No. Something's off about this object. Kassin was regarding him curiously.
"Do you know what that is?" Kassin inquired.
"Not a clue. Do you?"
"Yes." Silence.
"Well..."
Hmm?"
"What is it?" He tried to keep the irritation out of his voice, but some inevitably slipped through.
"Something that you should keep very close. It is not my place to reveal it's nature to you."
"Why not?"
"Because it's different depending on the user. It may do wonderful things to you, or it may bring curses down upon your family. Strange humans. Always accessing powers you shouldn't mess with." Justin stared at the object. So I could die, he thought, or I could become amazing. Interesting. Well, you don't get anywhere without risks. Justin pocketed the object.