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Author Topic: RPG 2015: Getting Closer  (Read 25152 times)

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2015, 05:45:29 PM »
"We need to get back to the library!
I'll show you some *good* music later on, I promise"

Scarlet grabbed Doc and slipped through the crowds.


(psst Henry, it's 'gleem' not 'gleam' ;))
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Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2015, 07:06:37 PM »
Henry used his skill of sneaking to slip past the guards backstage. He hesitantly knocked on a door with Tom Jones written on in a star. An amusing little yellow figure wearing spectacles opened the door and sniggered. "What's so funny?" asked Henry.
"Bottom!" the little yellow thing sniggered.
"Who's that?" asked a melodious voice.
"Hi. It's a friend," explained Henry. "Ummm, I have something for you. No questions asked.  But maybe it might change your mind about performing tonight."
Tom suspiciously took the package off Henry. He sniffed it and then swallowed the contents.
"Tonight the valleys will echo with music!," he exclaimed. "But who told you? Who has betrayed me?" He grabbed Henry and put his fangs to his throat. "Sing little bird or I ll shall feast upon you!"
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Offline Henry Dale

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2015, 09:06:02 PM »
So Henry started singing.
"It's not unusual to be loved by one."
Tom clapped his hands in delight. "Amazing! You know me?"
Henry shook his head. "Nope. I watched Mars Attacks."
This led to a disappointed look from Tom's side.
"Ah, but then why are you here?"

A vampiress looked at the pudding on the food table...and the pudding looked back. "Pud." "Ding" the gleems gleamed.

"So if I get this right, your friend will turn back to normal through the charming power of my beautiful voice?"
Henry nodded. "Exactly, you'll be a star."
Tom frowned. "But if I overdo it his brains will take on a gleemy appearance like the Martians from that movie?"

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2015, 09:22:09 PM »
Meanwhile Scarlet and the Doc had made it to the library. They perused shelf after shelf of paranormal romance urban fantasy to no avail. Then they saw an orangutan swinging through the shelves towards them. The Doc raised his six shooter and lined up the shot. "Oook Oook!" the orangutan gestured at him. To take the shot or not? Scarlet held her breath.

In the main hall, Barry Manilow took to the stage to the sound of a hundred female screams and one man screaming. A pair of y-fronts smacked him in the face. "Good evening Fantasia. Here is a little song I like to call 'Could it be magic!' At the front JayMack thought he had died and gone to heaven.
"Ummm, how did he take his underpants off without removing his trousers?" A.R. Cane whispered to Arcane.
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2015, 09:38:07 PM »
"Wait, don't shoot!" screamed Scarlet.
"I have read about him in my tomes by the eminent scholar Lord Perry Tratchett - he appears in libraries across the universe to those who love books and knows where everything is, he can help us. Let me see if I still remember..."

Scarlet cleared her throat and started "Oook oooooooook? Oook eeek? Oooooookkkk Aktu!"

The orangutan looked puzzled...
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Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2015, 09:51:36 PM »
"We are looking for books on Talismans," explained Chill in English.
"OOK!" the oranguatan replied and gestured for them to follow.
"He's  a librarian," said Chill. "He can speak English."
Scarlet' s face turned as red as her dress.

JayMack screamed and screamed. He felt himself compelled to get closer and closer
 Another part of his mind rebelled and questioned why. But then Barry Manilow asked for an audience member to come to the stage for him to sing to one to one. The questions stopped. JayMack began elbowing ladies with blue rinses out of the way.
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Offline Doctor_Chill

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #21 on: June 16, 2015, 10:14:11 PM »
Jaymack did not leave any guesswork to the equation. He jumped on stage with a bellyflop and screamed, "Pick me!"

Manilow scanned the crowd some more. "Anybody else?"

All the girls yelled to take them, but he wagged his finger and helped the king up.
“It’s a dangerous thing, pretense. A man ought to know who he is, even if he isn’t proud to be it.” - Tomorrow the Killing, Daniel Polansky

Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #22 on: June 17, 2015, 12:16:08 AM »
Manilow's face was actually old and wrinkled. But JayMack saw it through his conditioning and only noticed the hair and the sparkle in the entertainer's eye.

Manilow's voice was getting creaky, and he had to cheat on the high notes. But all JayMack heard was the sound of his youth. But wait a second! Whose youth, dammit. It was never my youth. Yes, the sound of his youth.

Manilow summoned the little king to his side. He put a gentle hand on his shoulder, brushed the king's hair away so that his bare neck was exposed. As Manilow sang "Mandy", he leaned his head down and bared his sharp teeth.

Kassin saw what was happening from across the room, and decided enough was enough. He extruded a crystal, and bit it in two. The sound of the cracking gem set up a feedback echo with the stage amplifying system, and a terrible screaching sound filled the auditorium. Manilow and every member of the Vampire Court put their habnds to their ears and yelled in pain.

JayMack's world went red, then white, then fireworks. He fell as one dead on the stage. "Someone go get our one-time leader, will you?" said the alien tiger-dragon. "I've done my part."


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You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline Doctor_Chill

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #23 on: June 17, 2015, 12:55:16 AM »
Henry and Bob set to starting the mosh pit. "Why's it got to be us?" the thief wondered. He pushed a strapping young vampire man into another and sighed. "Why are we always stuck with the dirty work?"

"It's the system, man." Bob shoved at the feet of one high-heeled woman. "The wheel keeps on turning, turning, turning, (into the future) and we're the ones left to get run over. Don't you see?"

Literal fireworks came next, loud and popping in the duo's ear. Henry stumbled over some more people, but that only helped his objective. "You think this is working?"

Bob was on the shoulders of one biker ruffian, headbanging to the soothing tones of Manilow. "I think it is."
“It’s a dangerous thing, pretense. A man ought to know who he is, even if he isn’t proud to be it.” - Tomorrow the Killing, Daniel Polansky

Offline Henry Dale

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #24 on: June 17, 2015, 07:06:34 AM »
The librarian swung past rows of bookshelves and Scarlet and Doc had to run to keep up. On top of that they had to dodge the occasional banana."Are you sure we can trust the primate?" Doc huffed.

Henry managed to grapple the Manilow's ankle and sweep him off the stage into the moshpit. There he, Bob and Conan gave him something to remember.

The little black king lay down on the stage, looking bewildered. Had HIS Manilow abandoned him? "Need a hand, little man?"
Jaymack looked up. Tom Jones pulled him to his feet and opened with a crescendo. "It's not unusuaaaaal."
Jaymack started crying, then his brain turned gleemy. His saviour.

Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #25 on: June 17, 2015, 08:07:55 AM »
But then, as Justin burst out of the cake, singing a very sensual version of Happy birthday to you, Sir Thomas stopped singing. Jaymack wasn't fully cured yet.

"Not now!" Kassin growled at his apprentice and body slammed the Shadow off the cake.

Bit irritated by the interruption Tom Jones cleared his throat and then began singing a strange mix of Delilah and Sex Bomb which finally broke Jaymack's conditioning.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2015, 08:22:59 AM by ArcaneArtsVelho »
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm a perfectionist but not very good at anything. That's why I rarely finish things.

Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #26 on: June 17, 2015, 11:33:18 AM »
"Free at last! Free at last! Thank Crom the Gentle, I'm free at last!"
All the good things in life returned to JayMack's fevered brain.
Which over-loaded and switched off for a bit of a rest moment.
He face-planted into a potted plant.
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #27 on: June 17, 2015, 07:30:26 PM »
Rising from the moshpit, Manilow pushed Henry, Bob and Conan away. The old crooner was not happy. "I will deal with you all", he said. "But now I'm hot and need cooling. Bring me my greatest fan!"

Immediately two small vampire cronies rushed in the ball room, carrying a HUUUGE fan which spun so violently that it almost pushed people away from its way. Suddenly A.R. threw his cane to the cronies' feet, tipping them over. The fan flew from their hands and landed on the Manilow, chopping the master vampire to pieces.

"And so an old crooner met his greatest fan", said A.R..
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm a perfectionist but not very good at anything. That's why I rarely finish things.

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #28 on: June 17, 2015, 07:36:27 PM »
Lack of forethought is often an adventurer's worst enemy, and he hadn't anticipated the anger of several hundred pensioners who worshipped the ground Barry Manilow walked upon.  Screaming in shock, Arcane was engulfed by a wave of elderly ladies with blue rinse hair. He headbutted elderly lady after elderly lady, but felt himself began to be overwhelmed.  Henry jumped in twirling his cane. Quick blow to the head. Pensioner collapsed to the floor. And repeat. But even Henry could only fight so quickly. Kassin rushed in, following Henry's lead. They desperately fought to reach each other but all was lost in wave after wave of elderly Manilow fangirlz. The Cranes formed a pair fighting together. A.R. grabbed Arcane around the chest, and Arcane kicked out. He toppled elderly lady after elderly lady. The fight was desperate. It was effectively a fight of the living versus the undead. And the pirate captain hollered and cut down pensioner after pensioner with his cutlas. And all the while, JayMack lead head down in a plant pot.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2015, 07:38:06 PM by Nighteyes »
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Offline Henry Dale

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Re: RPG 2015: Getting Closer
« Reply #29 on: June 17, 2015, 07:42:09 PM »
Henry pulled his friend Conan to his feet.
"We need to leave while we still can."
Conan shook his head vigorously, covering it all in manly sweat.
"You go, ol' chap. I'll read about you in picture bookth. I'll keep them buthy here. Oy bunch of suckerth!"
The vampires looked disdainful.
"Who wanth a pieth of real gentleman!"
And as the party snuck off towards the library where Scarlet and Doc were waiting, Conan bared his gentlemanly torso and stormed at the impending carnage. "By Crooooooom!"

"Will he be alright?" Justin asked, covered in cake.
Henry shrugged. "Maybe. He's Conan, the once and future gentleman legend."

Scarlet opened an ancient tome and her eyes almost dropped from her head.
"Ook?" Went the librarian.
"What's wrong?" Spoke Doc.
"Atku has my Goatie! He's keeping her as a girlfriend!"
« Last Edit: June 17, 2015, 07:46:29 PM by Henry Dale »