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Author Topic: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring  (Read 14316 times)

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2015, 02:18:12 PM »
Waka was experimenting with shooting flames out of his ass whilst staring into a mirror.  "Hey.  There be a goat watching me in this mirror!" he shouted.  He then stuck his arms in and pulled the goat out.  "Hey let's tie this one up to the other.  Maybe they can make goat babies we can eat for tea!"
Atku knew he was trapped. He smiled at Atka, and then looked at the pitcher of mead that one of the Nords had left on the ground. There were ripples in the surface of the mead. Something was coming. 
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Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2015, 02:31:42 PM »
The tyrannosaurus was queen of the island.  Top of the food chain. The velicoraptors, the shape shifting racoons.  All were beneath her. Then she sniffed.  She could smell goat.  She listened.  She could hear the bleating of goats.  She could hear another sounds she had not heard for a long time.  Humans.  She was going to feast well tonight.  She began to stomp towards the bleats, voices and the tantalizing smells. 

The velicoraptors sniffed.  They too could smell humans and goats.  They knew there was a feast awaiting them,but they had to beware of the queen.  The offered up prayers to Velma, their blessed lady.  Hoping she would grant them luck in the hunt. 

The racoon elders gathered.  Opportunity abounded.  One of their party had infiltrated another party which served the goat.  She could transform into a cat, buxom barbarian lady, or velicoraptor.  Now they had sent one of their own in the form of a German tourist to the other party which had landed on their island.  Would they choose to align themselves to one party or slay them all? 

The captain smiled at the ripples forming in the discarded flagon of mead.  Something big was coming.  Something worth 3000 xp.  He was going to level up, and gain the skill of Pirate jitzu.   
« Last Edit: May 30, 2015, 02:34:43 PM by Nighteyes »
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Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #17 on: May 30, 2015, 03:50:20 PM »
Le Chat unwrapped his treasure and found a small golden statue of a velociraptor.  His attention was drawn to the mudflats, where a Viking Nord ship was wallowing in the shallows.  On the far side, he saw a horde of raptors nearing the ship. And... a T-Rex. He hefted the golden statue. Maybe he could do some good in that thread. He split off from JayMack's group and -

-found himself face to face with the ugliest pirate he'd ever seen, a maniac priest, some sort of wacko, and the lady in scarlet. Plus a T-Rex. Why did I want to come over to the side of the island? He asked himself.

Oh yes, the Golden Status of Velociraptors!
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #18 on: May 30, 2015, 04:37:46 PM »
"Well, my freundes.  Seems you are in the Scheiße, ya?" smirked the German tourist.  "Might I reveal my identity.  I am actually a shape shifting waschbär. I see you are shocked by this big reveal.  Coming your way is an army of dinosauriers, and einen Fräulein Tyrannosaur.  I see already your Doctor is making the puddle of urine at his feet. Ha ha ha."
"What the hell?" snapped A.R.  "I thought we were having for a picnic!  Seems the rumours that the Doc can't organise a picnic on a peaceful tropical island are true."
"Now you're only hope is making an alliance with us waschbär. Too long we have wished to rid this here island of the dinosaurier, and their Velma the Blessed Virgin worshipping cult."
"Did he just defame Velma?" the captain snarled.  And then pulled out his cutlass and slashed open @xiagan's throat. 
"Seems like we have a battle to fight!  Who is with me!" the captain shouted. 
The others all roared in agreement. 
"Where's are the sacrificial goats?" demanded the Nord captain.
On the rock was left hanging two chains.  Both with just bloody remains attached, the rest of the goats gone. 
Then a tremendous roar silenced them all.  They all looked up ... 
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Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2015, 05:41:23 PM »
Everybody ran away from the roaring T-Rex that was towering over them. Everybody but one of the red shirted Nords. "Stop!" he yelled. "Its vision is based on eyesight!"

"I think you mean movement", A.R. suggested in a much more hushed voice.

"Yes! I mean movement!" the redshirt kept yelling. The T-Rex devoured him.

"Well at least its hearing is based on hearing", A.R. jested as he and the others took cover behind some rocks by the shore.

"Where are my harpoons?" Cap asked.

"Back at the ship", Akbar said.

"Arrr", the captain whined.

The velociraptors stayed away from the tyrannosaur but were still moving to the flanks of the ship crew, getting ready to attack. When A.R. saw the hungry predators the solution became clear to him. "The statue! We need the statue of Velma. Were is it?"

"Back at the ship", Akbar and Cap said in unison.

A.R. slapped his hand on his face. "Someone needs to get that statue! I'll stall the big gal."

The priest stood up and started running towards the T-Rex. His robes took the color described as confident dusk sky orange. A.R. sprinted, raising his cane with two hands, ready to overhand strike the dino. He did a beautiful matrix-style slow motion jump attack through the air. But there was a glitch in A.R.'s matrix as only he was slowed down. The T-Rex moved to the side. It didn't even see the priest in the air thanks to the slow rate of his movement and the perfect camouflage his robes provided against the dusk sky.

Lucky, its vision really is based on movement.

A.R. landed gently far behind the roaring beast.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2015, 05:46:28 PM by ArcaneArtsVelho »
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm a perfectionist but not very good at anything. That's why I rarely finish things.

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2015, 06:01:13 PM »
The Captain took stock.  Charlemagne seemed to be performing some unspeakable horrors on the body of @xiagan. Luckily though the velociraptors seemed entranced by whatever he was doing, and had formed a circle around the two of them to watch.  The T-Rex seemed distracted by whatever nefarious stunt A.R. had performed, and seemed to be struggling with its stomach. Did he just see something explode within the dinosaur's gut?  The T-Rex was bent over in pain, and trying to look round to catch sight of A.R. 

The main issue was getting that statue.  At least till the raccoons showed up. The captain barked at Chill to form a shield around the camp for awaiting the raccoons, just hoped Charlemagne kept the raptors occupied, and that A.R. know what he was doing with that T-Rex. The captain began running towards the longboats.
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Offline Doctor_Chill

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2015, 06:13:51 PM »
"You got it, Cap. Learned this from a Chinaman." Doc pulled out a second pistol from his coat and started unloading them. But lo and behold the bullets formed a circle around Scarlet and Waka. "If you two would be so kind as to enchant these to keep on going before the raccoons realize..."

He did not note the slow speed of the bullets and that he could finish his sentence in time. Perhaps the matrix magic AR had worked was still going Max Payne bullet-style over here.

"On it," Scarlet said and started mumbling and waving her hands and shaking her head. The bullets were encased in a blue hue and start going faster around the camp.

And while it took Waka a second for the sound to reach his brain and fully comprehend it, he said, "On it!" Bent down and showed them his level 4 powers again. Doc ducked under the circle of bullets before they could really catch fire for the raccoons. Now they were safe.

"Alright, who wanted that picnic?"
“It’s a dangerous thing, pretense. A man ought to know who he is, even if he isn’t proud to be it.” - Tomorrow the Killing, Daniel Polansky

Offline JMack

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2015, 06:21:41 PM »
Le Chat padded over to the tall Texan, the golden statue of the velociraptor dragging behind him on a string tied to his tail. He looked up at the wise hero, willing him to remember, remember... how to use the statue to deal with the velociraptor threat. And hoping he'd share some of the picnic.

His eyes, thought, Chill, they're almost as bad as those hips!

Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2015, 06:35:32 PM »
The captain rowed to the boat. Took about 10 minutes. Nothing much happened.  He hoped that no one had been eaten in that 10 minutes. Would probably be another 5 minutes to find the statue, and ten more to row back. 15 more minutes for people to die in.  There were a few red shirts.  Should be okay. 
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Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2015, 07:38:19 PM »
While the captain was away and the others were having their long-awaited picnic in the safety of the bullet-fart-fire-shield thingy, A.R. was fighting for his life. He had jammed his cane between the T-Rex' jaws, and was straining to cling on it as the prehistoric beast violently shook its head. The priest's robes were, appropriately, Scared Shitless Brown in colour.

"Could somebody help me?" A.R. yelled between his less controlled screams.
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm a perfectionist but not very good at anything. That's why I rarely finish things.

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #25 on: May 30, 2015, 07:45:35 PM »
Suddenly, the tyrannosaur's eyes flashed red. "I AM ATKU!" the Rex growled in a muffled voice as it is hard to speak with a cane rammed in your mouth. 

Meanwhile, Quartermaster Akbar had promoted himself to General (not long till Admiral now), and was now doing Chill's job and readying defenses.  To prepare for the oncoming attack of the raccoons, he lined up the Nords around the perimeter of their camp.  He then set the Calamaris to stand around the raptors,prepared for when the trance broke and they attacked.  All of them were armed with spears. Finally he sent the gnomes into help AR fight the T-Rex.
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Offline Doctor_Chill

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #26 on: May 30, 2015, 08:01:45 PM »
The gnomes screamed their victory chant to the tune of "I Will Survive" and marched toward the T-Rex spears at the ready. Some of the redshirts tripped on their own two feet and impaled themselves. Others made it to the first wave, the terrible raccoon shield wall.

It did not take long for the Nords to have to step in next. "Axes raised," their captain bellowed. "Time to show them the Gates of Valhalla!"

Meanwhile, a meanergie of hooligans huddled safely around the fire-fart-bullet ring of magic and ate finger sandwiches, watching the chaos around them. "Anybody know when the Cap'll be back?"

Scarlet tsked. "Let's not ruin the moment." A dinosaur roared in the distance. Sounded like more velociraptors. "You wouldn't call this a kitchen, would you?"
“It’s a dangerous thing, pretense. A man ought to know who he is, even if he isn’t proud to be it.” - Tomorrow the Killing, Daniel Polansky

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #27 on: May 30, 2015, 08:20:16 PM »
The raccoons finally broke through the shield by firing stones in using their testies. Bullets ricocheted off stones, some taking out raccoons, other slaying the brave Nords standing guard.  Finally when the raccoons attacked, the fighting was fierce and bloody.  The Nords were valiant fighters, and with their axes could slay raccoon after raccoon.  But even the most muscular, bravest fighter could only fight so long.  Piles of raccoon bodies piled up, but more and more Nords were falling.  Meanwhile gnome after gnome threw themselves at the Goat God possessed T-Rex, but their explosions and attacks only served to irritate the dinosaur.   A.R. was alone, and with only the merest whisper of a prayer. 

The Calamaris maintained their watch on the raptors entranced by the horrific spectacle in front of them.  But Akbar feared for his men when their concentration broke.  And it wouldn't take much.   

Meanwhile Chill, Bob, Scarlet and Wakka kept on munching on their hula hoops. Chill stroked the cat that was pestering him.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2015, 09:33:14 PM by Nighteyes »
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Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #28 on: May 31, 2015, 09:06:55 AM »
A.R.'s cane slipped from the mouth of the Atku-Rex, throwing the priest 30 meters (that's 100 feet) through the air. After A.R. had recovered from that flight, and the sudden stop that had followed it, he shouted, "That's it! I won't hold myself back any longer!"

I need to release the beast inside me. I just hope I don't hurt any of my friends. Well, I guess they are more like acquaintances, so it's not that big of a deal if one or two of them get maimed or something...

The priest chanted strange words and dropped his cane and robes to the ground. The warding glyph-tattoos on his body started to crack and emit bright, pulsing light. Grey fur pushed through his skin. In a huge explosion and  a thick cloud of smoke, the priest vanished. And as the smoke cleared, from amidst the robes on the grass emerged a kitten with yellowish green eyes and a grey, shaggy fur.

Doc, who had been spectating the fight between the T-Rex and the priest (and eating squirrel dumplings), gave a short chuckle when he saw the transformation. "That is the beast inside him? A kitten? How the hell could that have killed members of his congregation?" the gunslinger wondered and then shot down a raccoon that got too close to the picnic area.

But this was no ordinary kitten. This kitten was ev... Well, it actually was just an ordinary kitten. (The deaths it had caused will be explained at another time.)

The kitten meowed ferociously, or as ferociously as a kitten could. It charged towards the T-Rex. The Atkusaur was flabbergasted when facing the fury of the small creature approaching it. A well-timed butterfly flew past, and the kitten got distracted. It abandoned the attack and began playfully jumping and running after the western tiger swallowtail that flitted to the distance.

The T-Rex didn't follow the kitten. It shook its head, and then it turned towards the mess of Nords and testiecoons. With a roar, it attacked.

At the same time, the velociraptors grew too disgusted to keep on watching what the Frenchy was doing to the poor raccoon corpse. They resumed their attack maneuver.

"Where is the captain!" Akbar bemoaned as the first wave of raptors hit the line of the calamari-men. "I don't want to be in charge anymore!"
« Last Edit: May 31, 2015, 09:15:25 AM by ArcaneArtsVelho »
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm a perfectionist but not very good at anything. That's why I rarely finish things.

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring
« Reply #29 on: May 31, 2015, 12:31:48 PM »
The Captain was rowing as fast as he could back to shore, but no way had 25 minutes of action had passed.

The first raptor leapt in front of Chill.  It's head moved from side to side, before one sharp claw came out and slashed open the front of Chill's breaches.  The other 3 circled Bob, Waka and Scarlet.  The one on Scarlet leaned forward and sniffed at her face.
"Why don't they attack?" Scarlet shivered, frozen in fear. 
The Calaramis that had been watching the raptors had had their focus taken away by the Goat Rex.  The giant jaws came down and grabbed one of the ground.  The others desperately started attacking with spears. It was like Friday night at a Sushi Bar.   
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