August 06, 2020, 02:52:21 PM

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Messages - mattcolville

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I think there's maybe three of those I would consider reading based on their blurb, will have to read the free sample thing first though before I do.

Lemme tell you, writing the blurb for PRIEST was harder than writing the entire novel, and I don't think I came anywhere near getting it right.

This is the blurb;

For centuries the people of Ollghum Keep relied on the knights of the Green Order to protect them from the horrors of the haunted wood. Now, as before, a monstrous army marches on their small town. But this time, the Green Order is nowhere to be found.

The Bishop sends the priest Heden into the wood, to find out why. Arriving at their secret priory, Heden discovers their commander is dead, the remaining knights paralyzed with despair. They will not act, they will not tell him what happened, and with each hour the monstrous army gets closer to Ollghum Keep. Thousands will die if the priest fails.

When the knights start dying one by one, Heden must race to unravel the conspiracy of silence and save the knights from themselves so they can save the people they were sworn to guard.

That's terrible, I hate it. But I couldn't come up with anything better. This is just a symptom of the the larger problem that I wrote a book I have no idea how to describe. People ask me what the book's about? No idea how to answer. It's about this guy and the crap he deals with. I dunno.

I spent some time trying to write a query letter for agents, gave up. Same problem. You can't just tell an agent "I dunno man it's psychological and Jungian and no one ends up happy and there's just a lot of pain and no redemption." No one would buy that book.

But that first book is meant to be a kind on in-sequence prologue, the second and subsequent books are easier to describe. Check this out;

For years the king bottled up the city's crime by pitting the thieves' guilds against each other. A balance enforced by ruthless double-dealing, blackmail and a special cadre of secret watchmen.

Now, armed with a mysterious substance that turns men into ravening ghouls, the Count is prepared to upset the balance. Installing himself as Underking, master of all crime in the city.

Thief battles thief as the city threatens to erupt in violence.

Then Heden returns from the forest. Prepared to exact vengeance against the bishop, he finds Vanora caught up in the Count's lethal scheming. Before he can act, he must ensure her safety.

He can stand against the count, the guilds, even the bishop.

But he cannot do it alone.

Ratcatchers continues in volume two


THAT is a blurb I am happy with! You might not think it's hooky, but I was super happy with it. And it has the added punch of, if you know who the titular thief is from reading the first book, you're like "OH YEAH! Team-up!" Which is kind of the whole point of this series.

So it's not that I can't write copy I'm happy with, it's that the first book is just weird.

There was a ridiculous TV movie of this released which I loved as a wee sprog. 1980. I loved it, though I'm sure if I watched it now I would think it was awful.

Hang on, it's on YouTube!

Man, that's a good theme song.

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