August 04, 2020, 06:26:36 AM

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Re: Depression is a bitch... from a friend
Oh, I dread to think!

No phones and no postal service. Imagine you have a friend overseas. After a lot of crossing out and worrying over wording, you write them a letter.

Then you have to go outside and talk to people, to find someone who's going their way to deliver it for you.

You wait weeks for a reply, angsting over everything you've said and how stupid you must have sounded.

Another week passes. A reply isn't coming. Your friend must hate you. That was the worst letter ever. You're an awful, boring person.

Next week, a knock. You manage to open the door rather than hide pretending not to be home. It's a man with a letter for you. It's from your friend.

Now you need to reply. Cue more weeks of mental anguish. 'Hello', they say.

Fixed that for you.  ;D

Sometimes I replay situations in my head YEARS after they happened because I felt so awkward or wish that I'd said something. Especially in confrontational situations I tend to panic and my mind just goes blank, and of course afterwards I remember every detail and want to punch myself for not speaking all the responses now available in my calm and (somewhat) rational brain ;)

Yup, I do this all the time. The sad thing is I'm probably not all that bad 'in the moment' as I think I am - I think I'm mostly pretty calm and friendly with everyone, but sometimes it just feels like I can have a brain-fluster and everything goes wrong. I'm not an easy smiler necessarily, which can be off-putting to a LOT of people - and I can see it in their body language, and just the way they will interact with me afterwards changes as they realise I'm a 'miserable sod'. I'm actually not. But I always think of it like, if I'm smiling then you know it's genuine...

August 19, 2015, 10:15:21 AM