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Re: [Jan 2016] - Breaking the fourth wall - Submission Thread I'm a very new member, in fact I joined just to take part in these contests. I wrote my story rather quickly to get it done in time, I think I got the concept right. I hope you enjoy Incoherent Ramblings. 1499 words.
Spoiler for Hiden:
Incoherent Ramblings

We begin the story with our Intrepid Hero racing the clock. The Troll he Tracked through the City is headed for the Apartment of a Beautiful Damsel, even now it could be climbing to her window. Our Hero, displaying heroic talent begins jumping from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit of the horrific….


Hey Writer!

 Is that really the best you can do, giving me some cheesy “George of the Jungle” bullshit narrative? I feel like I deserve more, I mean…come on when did I even get on the roof? The only thing about that swill you call a hook is the girl. I don’t often go for “damsels” but at least you had the good sense to put some love interest in from the beginning. Now come on, scrap this mess and try again, and don’t call me intrepid again….it’s insulting. Oh, one more thing, quit capitalizing everything.

Character name looked up from…

 You haven’t given me a name yet? What exactly do you think you can accomplish if you don’t even have a name for me yet.


Stupidness Mcassjack looked up….

Be serious would you writer. Look, I may have overreacted a little bit, but this is my future we are talking about here. It’s our future, put some heart into it and come up with something memorable.

Jason Green looked up from the track he squatted crouched over, checking the surrounding area for other signs of the creature’s whereabouts. Absentmindedly spinning the ring that signified him as a sanctioned slayer, he studied the track of the monster. Judging by the size and shape, he assumed a half grown, male troll.

I do not Squat.
 Crouch if I must, but I have not. Do not. Will not squat.
 Go ahead and scratch that out and keep going

Ok writer, that’s a bit better, the name isn’t the best but it will serve its purpose for now….but I’m not really feeling the troll. Vampires! Vampires would…no those are overdone. Tell you what writer, let’s both sleep on it and start fresh tomorrow. Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, what happened to the chick? When I get tired I start to ramble and I’d hate to wake up tomorrow with a bunch of crap written down. So, let’s say fifteen, sixteen hours, and we’ll get up and try again.


Hey writer, wake up!

Get your lazy ass up writer!

I know it’s four in the morning, but I figured out a really menacing creature to slay. I’m really excited about it and I don’t want to forget. Go relieve yourself and grab a cup of coffee. Tonight, I’m fighting Gargoyles! Hey, why are you sleeping again?
 Wake up!
 Get up, get up, get up, get…oh forget it, I’ll just try to remember my stroke of genius I suppose.

Alright Writer, today is the day. Today I become legend.

 What’s that?

 Oh yea, and you too I guess. I really don’t know what you deserve credit for honestly, I have to hold your hand every step of the way. I’m the one doing everything here, if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t even have a story.

Jason Green lay on the ground, choking in the foul dust. In his back was a long blade. Tragically, Jason took a shuddering breath. He regretted every moment he had been rude, or arrogant.

 “It’s too bad, he thought, that there is no time left for change.” Jason drew what would be his last breath, forcing his eyes to look to the stars. A strange peace seemed to fall over him as he exhale…

Whoa, hold on!

Ok, point taken, you are an important part of the process.


Ok, so let’s get back to the story, I think I should be hunting gargoyles. Gargoyles are much more interesting than some boring old troll. They can fly! That’s much more dangerous, and more danger means more excitement. Just don’t let things go too far this time alright?

Ok Writer?


Jason Green looked, with no emotion, at the blood stained ground that marked where the creatures had gorged themselves. Kneeling, he examined long, three-toed claw marks disfiguring the smooth concrete. Gargoyle he spat, immediately his eyes searched the sky, it was not above gargoyles to ambush victims caught motionless by the scene of their earlier meal.

Absentmindedly fingering the medallion that marked him as a slayer he tried to calm himself, knowing the excitement of the hunt would ruin sound judgement. Gargoyles were pack creatures with a vicious attitude when cornered, just the kind of challenge Jason craved. However, gargoyles were near impossible to track from the ground, his only option would be magic.

I have magic?


Jason took a short, bone knife marked with several inscriptions and handed down from father to son, a ritual blade used for…

Writer…that’s too much, you don’t have to tell the whole history of the knife in one sentence. Why don’t you just take it down a notch?

Jason pulled a short, bone knife from the thong on his wrist, his fingers tracing the ritual words inscribed on the blade. Laying the knife on his open palm he swiftly sliced through the skin. Blood erupted from the cut, filling the engraving with blood. Holding the blade above the tracks he slid it effortlessly into the pavement.
Immediately, Jason was hit with an intense sensitivity to sound, light, and smell. It was a side effect he could never get used to, then the numbing magic would take over. After a few minutes his sensitivity dropped, and he saw, in his mind’s eye, where to find his mark. Quickly the vision passed, and after a brief moment of queasiness, he stood and began running toward the pier. He had to find the monsters before dawns first light, or they would become impenetrable stone until the next blood moon.

Nice touch giving the magic a drawback, even if it was a pretty simple one. The gargoyles were great right?
 I think you’re starting to find your muse writer.

Following the magical vision Jason sped along the pier, pulling his sword from its scabbard as he ran. Cutting into an alley between two storage buildings he rounded a corner and found the back entrance to the warehouse. Throwing his shoulder at the door he burst in to the building.

Three Gargoyles, alerted by the noise, turned their scaly, vaguely reptilian heads toward the hunter. Pressed as far as possible against a shipping crate was a girl; she looked a little worse for wear but not seriously injured. Judging the new arrival to be a more pressing matter the gargoyles, flapping their large leathery wings, flew at a blistering speed towards the still stunned slayer.

Acting purely on instinct Jason swung his sword, keeping the largest of the creatures at bay. He deftly cut the wings of one, and the throat of anoth….


Can you make it more impressive?

Jason swung his sword in an arc and carved a large cut down the lead gargoyles chest, he thrust his fist into the cut and pulled out the Gargoyles still beating hea….

What the hell is wrong with you?

I said impressive not horror film.

Jason swung his sword in an arc, slicing through the membrane of one gargoyles wing. Screaming in rage the creature lunged at the hunter, and was rewarded with a sword through its chest. The creature spun and wrenched the blade from the hunters’ hand.

Quickly pulling a knife, Jason rammed the hilt into the bottom jaw of a second monster, bringing a knee up into its abdomen at the same time. The creature, doubled over in pain, was helpless to stop the blade piercing into its spine.

 Pulling his knife from the gargoyles body Jason turned to meet the lead gargoyle. Seeing the obvious skill of the hunter the gargoyle swiftly sprung up into the air and flew off, escaping through a broken panel in the roof.

Unable to use the tracing magic again, Jason was forced to let the creature go. Focusing instead on the two dead bodies he pulled his medallion from around his neck and touched each body in turn with the gleaming piece of silver. The bodies, upon being touched, burst into flame and were quickly consumed, leaving no traces behind.

Turning Jason began walking to the door when he was stopped by a voice.


Will you…will you let me come with you?

Jason studied the girl. He had barely noticed her before, but now, he found himself stunned by the gleam in her dark green eyes. Slowly he turned away, and spoke his answer.


I say yes!

Actually I’ll say no but it will turn into a yes, that’s always pretty good isn’t it writer?


…of course.

 Always end a chapter with some intrigue and make the next chapter easy to start.

I hate when you do that writer.

See you tomorrow.


January 28, 2016, 05:01:23 AM
Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Discussion Thread I'm going to give this a shot just because it will be my second time participating, but I don't expect I can do this well. Also, whatever characters I decide on will most likely be from books written a decade or more ago.
February 01, 2016, 07:35:17 PM
Re: Petition: Better Contract Terms for Writers
@Francis - if your typical agent always makes sure these kinds of terms are negotiated out of contracts, why would they be in the boilerplate? Doesn't it cost the publishers time and money for to negotiate each time? Why would they waste their time trying to put the terms in if they're inevitably removed each time? I wish there was some way we could analyse all publishing contracts to see how prevalent they really are.

Regardless, it's good to bring attention to it, and it'd be great if pressure on publishers were to force them to treat authors with more care.

I admittedly do not know anything about legality, nor do I have any contracts. However, the first post on reddit  irritates me a small amount.

The post says that no publisher would actually seek to legally enforce any noncompete contracts. I think they say something along the lines of a publisher would never win and the terms should be illegal in the first place.

As I said, I know nothing of law. I agree that noncompete clauses shouldn't be in a contract, but I cant believe that a publisher couldn't win such a lawsuit. To my mind, whether the clause should be allowed or not, if it doesn't actually violate any laws then it is legally binding. If I'm right about that, then I see no reason a publisher couldn't win. After all, they never forced the author to sign the contract. If the author signs the contact, it seems to me that a publisher would be well favored in a lawsuit.

There are probably a lot of loopholes, but is there anyone here who could tell me how truthful it is? I would believe it with no problem if presented as a logical point instead of a rant.
This is a good analysis of an actual non-compete clause in someone's contract by a lawyer  (from what I can tell anyway, I'm only halfway through it and keeping an eye on the football at the same time!).

Thanks for the link, it was really quite informative. What I take from it is, as I learned in government class in high school, a lot of laws and legal terms are a gray area issue. It seems that, while mostly dependent on the specific case, the odds would be with the publisher.

The best option is probably to know your legalese, argue what you can on the contract, and if worse comes to worse never sign at all. To an unpublished author with a chance at being published this doesn't seem like much of an option at all, though vastly preferable to the terms of the contract.

February 02, 2016, 10:03:24 PM
Re: Help With Race Ideas?? Ive always liked the idea of primordial beings based on the classic elements Fire, earth, water and air. Perhaps one central deity who created the earth,  then created guardians of the different components of the world.

Alternatively, the direction taken by the World of Warcraft universe uses five massive dragons called aspects to represent the aspects of the world. These are life, earth, time, magic and dream.

Titans are often used as the primordial elements of the world, as the giants in norse mythology regularly  represent the more malovent forms of nature.

Also, just opinion,  I can't stand good and evil being clear cut. If I were doing something with order and chaos it might be good to show the good and bad qualities of both. (Order is mostly good, but can lead to stiffness. Chaos can be bad but also a good source of invention) stuff like that. Again just my take on the question.

February 05, 2016, 10:14:20 PM
How much did you write today? Nothing.  Ive got nothing done on my fantasy novel for the last three days. So, I think im going to change gears and work on my sci-fi for awhile. Change of pace and all that good stuff.
February 08, 2016, 04:34:57 PM
Alien races? Just my opinion,  but they are all on the internet. Probably with a lot more detail than you would need.

Secondly,  most writers aren't going to just give up ideas. Maybe help refine them, but as a writer it is up to you to come up with those initial ideas and not fush for someone elses.

Really its not my place to criticize and im sorry if this comes off as rude, but sometimes it needs to be heard.

February 08, 2016, 04:54:43 PM
Re: Say Hi, I'm new thread I probably should have posted here before now, I've been around only about two weeks.

Lets see, I'm in my early twenties, American, and soon to be attending school to train in aviation maintenance.

I grew up with a love of reading. I used to read all of the current novels, and some not so current ones. I grew up alongside the harry potter series, and have read the series several times. When I was in my teens I read a dragonlance novel I found at a yard sale, and it inspired me to write. However, it wasn't until I had finished the Inheritance cycle that I truly made any attempt at writing.

Lately, I haven't read much and I'm way behind in current reading. My writing has developed slowly and it still has a lot of room to grow. I have a problem of having amazing stories in my head, but my brain wont transfer to paper. Also, as you will  probably notice, I have a bit of a lack in grammatical knowledge

I have an unlikely interest in research. Most of what I read these days aren't novels, but fantasy references. (mythical bestiaries, mythology. etc..)

I've been occasionally reading articles on the main site for two years now, but just recently decided to join in the discussions here. I enjoy a little bit of everything, steampunk, scifi, basically all kinds of fantasy, and a few realistic fiction novels. A few of my favorite things to read: The Hobbit, The Mysterious Island of Dr. Moreau, Beowulf, Hogfather, and recently A Natural history of dragons.

I hope to have a lot of fun, and intelligent and enlightening discussion here.

February 09, 2016, 05:31:36 AM
Re: Say Hi, I'm new thread
We love newbies! :D

Feel free to join in, ressurrect old threads commenting on books you're reading now, and for something a little different, go read and vote on the stories of our Monthly Writing Contest - and the best story of 2015!

This is one of the reasons I finally joined. I kept seeing the contest winners stories on the main site and decided id like to try my hand at writing a short story based on a theme.

February 10, 2016, 04:18:46 AM
Question about a race?? http://earthbeforeflood.com/fomorians.html try here first. If that doesn't help I could probably tell you more but I don't have the proper book with me.
February 10, 2016, 03:12:55 PM
How much did you write today? If text message rants apply then I wrote about 6000
February 11, 2016, 04:44:38 AM