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Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Recruiting Thread The rotten timbers of the church door swung on their rusted hinges with a growl that should have come from the back of an old man's throat. The phlegm it spat from the entrance was a gangly, wild eyed man.

"Behold! I am come!"

Bangles clanged on bare arms as the emaciated figure waved their arms. He stepped into the church, his paint daubed face becoming clear, his mad expression clearer.

"A line I've used on more 'n one doxy me'self!" yelled back the Captain. "Who the blazes are you, ya cracked timber?"

Unabashed the man strode forward, slapping at the goat tattoo on his chest. An inverted pentagram netted the creature to his nipples, ribs and belly.

"I am Waka. Shaman of the order of chupacubra. Weilder of the pumpstaff. My smell is legend."

Scarlet sniffed the air experimentally but could only detect a faint whiff of caramel.

"How nice for you." She humoured the old loon. "Is there something you were after?"

The half naked shaman threw himself at her feet, raising eyebrows from all around.

"I have come to bring holy war on the cursed god. The goat one. The smell changer. The eater of ladies undergarments from washing lines. He who makes passable cheese. I beseech you, let me join your forces so that I may bring the path of unnibbled underwear to the unholy lands under the undoing of that unglorious caprine hellspawn."

Scarlet looked at the Captain who span a finger at his temple and shrugged.

"Well. It's a while since I've been beseeched. Let me think."

May 26, 2015, 02:16:00 PM
Re: Who's Who in the RPG 2015 Waka - Shaman of the Chupacubrans
Spoiler for Hiden:

Name: Wakarimasen

Alias/Nickname: Waka

Race: Human... perhaps.

Height/ weight:  about 6foot 4 with about as little weight as possible.
(Think Dhalsim from street fighter with independently rolling eyeballs)

Origins: The Lactosian Hills

Age: Hard to tell under the paint and lines. More than 30, less than 60.

Profession: Raving Shaman

Alignment: Anti Goat

Weapon of Choice / Accessories: The pumpstaff, drainer of goats and holy stick of the order of chupacubra. Diverse bangles.

Allegiance: Anyone who wants to get the goat

Secret Agency: The Order of the Chupacubra

Arch-Nemesis: Goats.

Quirks: Prone to melodrama and bouts of "visions" especially when snacking on the holy mould.

May 26, 2015, 02:24:37 PM
Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Recruiting Thread Dust shook from the walls as the church shuddered. Shafts of violet light, made solid by the clouds, played across the unsteady figures beneath the upturned boat.

"It is the turning!" Waka leapt to his feet. Running to grab the captain by his frilly lapels. "The great turning has come, as foretold in the mushrooms of myzanteen! We must dance."

The pirate resisted his tugging, joyfully screaming instead. "Ah - ha!  She Lives!"

The Shamen jumped back waving his hands in the air, as if he did not care. As he cavorted by Scarlet he jumped into the air, rising higher than her head. Then stopped.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She demanded. "Nobody said you could piss about with gravity."

"Wakawakkariwakwakwakaweeeeee." Was the gesticulating tribesman's only reply as the whole building suddenly shifted about its axis, throwing everyone but himself tumbling into walls now made floor, then floor made from roof. Above, the violet light grew brighter, devouring the stone of the church. There was sucking noise, a catching like the breath of a man struck in the stomach. Then the stone exploded outward in dazzling light.

When their sight returned, the dazed crew members looked over the gunwales of the ship to find themselves encased to the portholes in sand and dust.

"Ar." The Captain dismayed. "She's a fine vessel, but given we're not at sea she's about as much use as a one legged man in an arse kicking competition."

Waka dropped to the floor and began to flap his hands at an unseen assailant and twitching. Eventually he stopped, sank on to his haunches and pulled some dried mushrooms from a pouch. He curled over them possessively and began to nibble.

May 26, 2015, 06:35:39 PM
Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Recruiting Thread Waka pointed to his loincloth and nodded at A.R., his eyes fixed on the pirate Captain.

The captain gasped. "Barnacles on his keel eh?... I see..."

May 28, 2015, 02:51:47 PM
Re: RPG 2015: Chill's Team and the Tower of the Wild Ring These outlanders were curious sorts. One moment the were happy to praise the sky with dance of the Two Thousand Glowing Sticks, the next they were rejoicing in the odd words of their gods and deep in combat. It was a combination waka found he was strangely happy with. He scooped a gnome up under one arm and ran from a cannon. He had learnt their art on his long journey across the plains from guide who had once served in  the Imperial army.

Shoving the protesting gnome down the barrel after the charge,  he whispered a prayer to his lord Chupacubra and struck a flint at the nub of fuse.

The tiny man's flight was straight and true, smashing him into the obsidian carapace of the beast alongside. He liquified on impact, the mulch searing into the Krakens skin. The giant writhed in agony, unable to wipe away the smoking mess that was eating in to it.

Waka ran back toward the gnomes, who sensibly scattered form his path.

"What the? How come that did so much damage?" AR asked as he ran past.

"Gnostic acid." Waka trilled happily as he chased his other ammunition around the ship.

May 30, 2015, 09:43:31 AM
Re: RPG 2015: Chit chat thread, all manner of discussion allowed Love the idea of a sudden appearance when things hot up... I'll try for that. In the meantime, enjoy yourselves guys...
June 08, 2015, 10:34:02 AM
Re: [Apr 2015] - Plot Twist! Werewolf, Vampire, Goat - Discussion Thread Just a quick resurrect on this thread as it seemed the most appropriate place to post this for @Atku's benefit...


June 08, 2015, 02:20:10 PM
Re: Depression is a bitch... from a friend @ScarletBea I recommend Tai Chi. Learning means you are "doing something" and I've found it helps, for at least the duration of the practice (and lets face it, even a couple of hours respite is welcome).
Typically I spend the first 20 mins of any class thinking....
"This is all a bunch of tree hugging hippy shit"
Then I walk out at the end wondering why I don't practice more.

June 15, 2015, 11:53:00 AM
Re: Avoiding writing, or: How many words didn't you write today?
There was a crack like stone splitting and, from an entirely different thread, a wild eyed monk in a tattered loincloth stumbled through an electronic portal.

"Beware! oh @SugoiMe ! The Rpg will take from you all your time to write!"

Waka, the infamously flatulent wielder of the goat sucking staff of Chupacubra, tried to reach through the screen and deliver his dire warning in person. Fortunately for the laws of physics, he failed miserably.

"It is a land wild with the old gods! Wild with goats! Beware I say!"

Suddenly an arm, tattooed with the words "Suddenly is fine...", reached out from the portal and dragged the gibbering fool back into his own thread.  All fell silent.

June 17, 2015, 12:44:54 PM
Re: Depression is a bitch... from a friend Quite often, when I'm feeling more ballsy, I brush this off with the response;
"Still taking the pills. How about you?"

It's been my experience that most people are really only interested in themselves are are only too happy to reverse out of troubled waters and talk about their favourite subject. With others, like good friends, it tells them all they need to know and if they want to know more then they know they can ask.

Do not feel compelled to answer with an explantation or even honestly. It's a universal constant that everyone knows "Fine" doesn't mean fine anyway.

July 07, 2015, 01:47:02 PM