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Re: Am I Sexist?: Males reading female authored fantasy
I think a point that needs to be made regarding complaints that the book is overtly 'preachy' or political, is that writing the status quo is in itself a political act.  So all those writers portraying a world that is either strongly representative of current societal norms or some supposedly-historical social situation are (perhaps unconsciously) supporting a system that many people find problematic.  Yes, some present it in order to examine it, subvert it, etc, but others try to pretend it's 'just the way things are'.  Just saying we shouldn't present that as a sort of 'neutral' position.
While that may be true, there's still a difference between a book having a political message and a book being overly preachy. If handled well, the former need not necessary lead to the latter. And if most people do feel you're being overly preachy, that's a problem with the way you've written your book, not just a case of other people taking exception to a political theme.

March 17, 2015, 10:13:21 PM
Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Submission Thread Finally got around to finishing this, just in time for the deadline. It's distinctly lacking in bicycles though.

Anyway, coming in at 1499 words, here's The 7 Tenets of Rogueishness.

Spoiler for Hiden:
“So what are the 7 Tenets, anyway?”

Darin lowered his spyglass and turned to his apprentice. “What?”

“The 7 Tenets.” Yura sat by the door, fiddling absentmindedly with a switchknife. “You keep mentioning them, but
I don’t think you’ve ever actually explained them to me.”

“Hmm. I guess not.” Darin raised his spyglass again and peered out the window.

Yura waited for his mentor to continue. He didn’t.

“So what are they?”

“They’re a bunch of tenets.” Darin said, helpfully. “And there are 7 of them.”

“I’d guessed that much.”

Darin sighed.

“If you really must know, they’re seven guidelines for rogues to follow” he explained. “They separate the lovable scoundrels from the common cutthroats. Originally they were called the 7 Tenets of Rogueishness but it got shortened because everyone kept mocking the word ‘rogueishness’.

“I was going to say,” Yura smirked slightly, “I’m pretty sure that’s not a real word. Also, since when have you been described as ‘lovable’?”

A low chuckle erupted from the older man’s lips. “Hey, I’m plenty lovable, kid. I’ve done things with women that would make a contortionist jealous.”

“Sure you have. Anyway, can you name me one of the Tenets?”

Darin blinked. “You’d rather talk about those stuffy rules than my sexual escapades?”

“Good Goddess, yes.” Yura shuddered. “I do not want the thought of you having sex swimming around in my head while we’re doing this.”

Darin gave an embarrassed cough. “Sure, whatever. Now, the first tenet is simple and important. Do not follow any tenet if doing so puts your life or prize at risk.”

“Makes sense.” Yura nodded. “Nobody would follow them otherwise. That’s a good first rule. What’s the second?”

“Always have a good line at the ready.”

 “…..Not quite as impressive.”

“It’s a matter of appearances.” Darin said. “If you break into a house, murder the guards and steal anything not nailed down, you get labelled as a brutal thug. But if you leave with a one-liner and a twinkling smile, suddenly you become a charming gentleman thief.”

“Even though I know donkeys more gentlemanly than you.”

“Exactly.” Darin nodded. “Now Tenet 3 is another obvious one. Always have a plan.” He suddenly spied something in his eyeglass. “Speaking of, I think it’s time to put ours into motion…”

Kere unbolted the backdoor and heaved the bucket of scraps behind her. She looked at the largely edible food and sighed. Duke Weston was wasteful enough on a normal day, but when he was throwing a party….. This bucket alone could probably feed a family for a week. And now it would feed the worms. Unless she did something about it.

Kere glanced from side to side. Then she rounded a corner to where a small crowd of beggars waited. Most were children whose eyes lit up at the sight of her. She smiled.

“Extra today.”

As the beggars greedily fell upon the scraps, Kere turned to leave. Her presence would soon be missed at the manor.

“Excuse me miss?” A reedy voice said behind her. “I want to give you my thanks.”

“It’s nothi-mmph!” Kere felt a hankerchief press firmly against her mouth. Hands grabbed her and an
overpowering sweet smell dulled her senses. She struggled for a few seconds before going limp in Darin’s arms as he dragged her body around the corner. The beggars didn’t notice what had occurred.

“This stuff is delicious.” Yura said, chewing on one of the leftovers. “How can people throw good food out?”

“It’s easy to waste when you have too much.” Darin said, stripping off his beggars robes to reveal the immaculate servant’s outfit beneath. “That’s why we’re here to alleviate that problem.”

“Whatever. Seriously, try these pastries.” Yura said, offering the bread to his mentor. “They’re fantastic.”

“You know I don’t eat on the job.” Darin sighed. Then he paused. “Put it in my bag. I’ll eat it once we’re done. Now help me hide this servant girl.”

“I don’t get why we just can’t slit her throat and be done with it.” Yura said. “That paralysing potion isn’t cheap.”

“Tenet 5, kid.” Darin shrugged. “Don’t unnecessarily harm women or children.”

“What happened to Tenet 4?”

“I’ll tell you it later. Now give me a hand.”

Yura sighed and helped dump Kere behind a bin. “5 is stupid. Women and children can be just as dangerous as men. Like Countess Jessica.”

Darin visibly flinched. “Please don’t use the J-word around me.”

Yura couldn’t hide his grin. “Sorry. Forgot you two had a history.”

Darin scowled. “Jessica’s not a woman anyway. She’s a demon in human skin.”

“Was that what you told her when you were dating?” Yura chuckled. “No wonder she tried to decapitate you.”

“Can we stop talking about that bitch now?” Darin neatened up his servants outfit. “I’d be perfectly happy never seeing her again.”

“I can’t believe Jessica was at the party!” Darin desperately slammed the door behind him and began making a makeshift barricade. The shout of guards could be heard getting closer. “Shouldn’t she be eating puppies somewhere?”

“What do we do??” Panic had set in on Yura’s face. “Every guard in the manor is going to be knocking on that door in a second! If you give back the Amber Ruby-”

“Our prize?” Darin smirked. He jogged to the other end of the room where a large portrait of Duke Weston hung. “You’re forgetting Tenet 4.”

“You never told me Tenet 4.”

“Remember Tenet 3?”

“Always have a plan.”

“Well, Tenet 4 is ‘Always be prepared for that plan to go to shit. There’s a reason we ran in here after Jessica spotted us.”

Ignoring the guards banging at the door, Darin tore down the picture frame. Behind it, at the very top of the wall, was a small window. Yura’s jaw dropped.

“I’ll never doubt you again.”

Darin grinned. “Liar. Now, give me a leg up.”

“Got it.” Yura nodded. He helped the older man up and through the narrow window. “Okay, now you pull me through.”

Darin looked at Yura. Then he looked to the door, where the guards had nearly broken the door down. There wasn’t time for both to escape.

“Sorry kid.” He shrugged. “No need for two to be caught when one will suffice. That’s Tenet 6.”

And with that, he took off running down the street, Yura’s screams ringing in his ears.

An hour later and Darin was back at one of his hideouts, the only one Yura didn’t know of. It was a shame about the kid. Darin had liked him. Maybe he’d go into town the next day and tip his hat at the head on display. He probably wouldn’t. Darin knew that for all the posturing about rogues being gentlemen, they were still as every bit as heartless as any other criminal.

But enough reminiscing. It was time to admire his prize.

Darin opened his pouch and fished out a huge, glimmering ruby. It was the prize of Duke Weston’s collection and worth a small castle to the right buyer. Darin stared at the ruby for a few minutes, enraptured by its beauty, before noticing something else in his pouch.

It was a small pastry.

“I suppose this will do as a makeshift toast.” Darin said, taking a bite of the surprisingly sweet bread. “To your memory, Yura.”

That was when Darin felt his arm stiffening up. Within seconds, his body had gone completely limp and it was all the rogue could do to stay sitting up.

“About time.” A voice said. “I thought you’d never eat that damn thing.”

Barely able to turn his head, Darin saw Yura walking towards him, a grin plastered across his face.

“Paralysing potion’s a bitch, isn’t it?” Yura said. “Good thing you don’t eat during a job. Speaking of, I’ll be taking that.”

He snatched the ruby from Darin’s palm, the older man helpless to stop him.

“I’ll admit, you impressed me with that window trick.” Yura said. “Jessica too. I was working with her all along, you know. The original plan was for her to catch us at the party. She’d curry favour with Weston and get to kill you, before vouching for me. Although that last bit happened anyway. The pastry was just my own little Tenet 4. But now, we’ll just get credit for retrieving Weston’s ruby instead.” He paused. “Or at least, we would if I hadn’t received a much better offer for the ruby from a Duke Alegard. Enough to buy my own castle. I don’t think Jessica will be too angry though. Before I left, I slipped her a note telling her about you and ‘the only hideout I don’t know about’. Her men should probably be here within the hour. I don’t envy your fate. You wouldn’t envy mine.”

Beneath his paralysed face, Darin shot Yura a hateful glare. The younger rogue smiled.

“Don’t get angry at me, Darin. You’re the one who forgot Tenet 7. Never trust anyone.”

March 29, 2015, 09:48:25 PM
Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Discussion Thread
Haha yes Raptori that would be funny. We could just rewrite our entries from the other characters point of view  ;D

Lol Wolf versus goat sounds extremely specific!
Yeah!  ;D

Yeah it does, doubt that's what the actual theme is... Why is this taking so long???  :'(

Patience young Palawan. It takes Xi a while to travel by goat.

Wise words, my master. I shall cultivate my sense of calm.
No, no, give in to your anger, young Raptori. Let the mild impatience flow through your veins. Unleash your passive-aggressiveness annoyance and then you too will know the power of the dark side...


(Sorry, couldn't resist)

April 01, 2015, 03:55:50 PM
Re: [Apr 2015] - Werewolf, Vampire, Girl - Discussion Thread
And here I was ready to pull out my old Twilight fanfic...

Nah, plot twists galore! Don't know how the hell I'm going to pull this one off in 1500 words, but I think I'll find a way.
Maybe you actually should post your Twilight fanfic and that's the twist.

April 01, 2015, 05:32:11 PM
Re: [Apr 2015] - Plot Twist! Werewolf, Vampire, Goat - Discussion Thread
I said *cute*, guys, cute!
Not... those ::)

Like this ;D

Like this?


April 02, 2015, 07:42:43 PM
Re: [Apr 2015] - Plot Twist! Werewolf, Vampire, Goat - Discussion Thread
What have I done?
It's too late. The floodgates are already open.

Or should I say the floodgoats?

(I'm sorry. The pun was too tempting...)

April 02, 2015, 10:05:16 PM
Re: Gentleman and Bastard at 750 posts... it's a lifestyle choice
How on earth does @Jmacyk have so many credits...?  :o

You get credits by posting.
The reason there are many of us with a small number of credits but high post count is because we deposit them in the bank, where they earn interest (i.e. more credits). I've got a couple million credits 8) but still far away from many of the older posters, hehe
I, on the other hand, have so few credits because I spent all mine on the 'random money' item, in an all-or-nothing attempt to make my fortunes.

Long story short, I'm now 132 credits in debt. Don't gamble, kids.

April 03, 2015, 06:10:09 PM
Re: Gentleman and Bastard at 750 posts... it's a lifestyle choice
I, on the other hand, have so few credits because I spent all mine on the 'random money' item, in an all-or-nothing attempt to make my fortunes.

Long story short, I'm now 132 credits in debt. Don't gamble, kids.
Haha! I spotted the random money item, but the maths doesn't add up. You get between -190 and 190, but because you pay 75 for each one that's really -265 to 115... not very good odds  :P
Oh, I already knew the odds were against me. I just figured it was worth taking the risk for the glory. As you might have guessed, it didn't exactly work out the way I hoped.

Although, on the plus side, I did find a neat site easter egg when I attempted to... 'shift my debt' to one of the better-off members.

Damn forum cops, always one step ahead.

April 03, 2015, 10:19:30 PM
Re: How much did you write today? I had an... interesting writing day today. I'm not sure whether I should post this tale here or in avoiding writing thread, but here goes.

As I've mentioned before on the other thread, I've had the last few weeks fairly free and I've been trying to work on getting the second draft of my book done. It's not been very successful. Over the entire last week I've only done about 4000 words for it.

Anyway, I decided what would be useful in helping me get over this writers block was do try and do a few chapters of this fanfiction idea that has been knocking around in my head for a while. Perhaps with that out of the way, my enthusiasm to write more important projects would return.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I somehow managed to write 5000-6000 words of that in one day. And I really don't know whether I should be proud or annoyed about that.

April 09, 2015, 12:40:30 AM
Re: [Apr 2015] - Plot Twist! Werewolf, Vampire, Goat - Discussion Thread
Ok that's a thing though. Can a rape happen and be described to an extent (so we realise what's happening) without qualifying as pornographic? Maybe I'll just water it down a bit just to stay safe, it's a pretty vicious twist I'm planning out...  ::)
Considering last month we had a blood eagle, multiple knifings and a kissing leprechaun, I'd guess that should probably fly as long as it's kept within the realms of good taste. 

On a less rapey note, I've just come up with a fantastic idea for my story this month. I don't want to spoil it too much, but I basically make the fourth wall my bitch.

(In hindsight, that probably was a bit spoilery actually. And it didn't exactly help make things less rapey...... I should probably stop typing now and go to bed before I dig myself even deeper.)

April 09, 2015, 01:34:40 AM