September 21, 2017, 06:30:33 PM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 104428 times)

Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1845 on: September 02, 2017, 05:01:57 PM »
Damn, I wish I had known your grandma...
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Offline Jmack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1846 on: September 02, 2017, 11:56:31 PM »
Keep the large sentences. Love them.
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)

Offline ultamentkiller

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1847 on: September 02, 2017, 11:58:19 PM »
that was beautiful Bradley. Sounds like an amazing woman. but you don't need me to tell you that.

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1848 on: September 03, 2017, 06:37:22 AM »
I ended up changing it up a bit-- some of it on the fly.  And they wanted me to pitch next week's annual fish fry, so I replaced the end with that and added a little religious sentence too.

Plus when i practiced it back behind the church I started crying when i got to the last sentence. When the time came, I managed to deliver it without a tear however.

I got into the lake of the ozarks and ready for bed at 4am, then woke up at 7:30am to finish the eulogy :(

It was weird, seeing her-- I've been to a lot of funerals but i don't know this felt different. Usually i can stand in front of the casket and reflect a little bit but... I saw her lying there and my first thought was "that's not her"-- I just couldn't shake the idea that that was just a body and she wasn't there-- and i had to walk away hurriedly to get outside and collect myself.

Offline Jmack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1849 on: September 03, 2017, 01:30:02 PM »
"Lake of the Ozarks" was just too interesting a name not to Google-Maps it.
The shape of the reservoir is strikingly like a twisting dragon.
Any secret we should know about, @Bradley Darewood ?

(And glad to hear it all went well. And that you managed to get the fish fry in.)
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1850 on: September 03, 2017, 04:02:53 PM »

It *does* look like a dragon.  And there are a lot of stories about that lake.  It's really beautiful

Another interesting thing about the funeral is that they put my name on the program as Dr. and i was introduced as Dr. too, which I thought was strange.  I guess my uncle had insisted since I'm the only one in the family with that level of education.

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1851 on: September 03, 2017, 07:45:11 PM »
Very sorry for your loss, Bradley. Celebrating the life of those we love can be difficult and painful, but it is a very great thing to be well-remembered and missed, and putting sentiments into words is never easy at such moments, but I thought you did a fine job.
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Offline Eclipse

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1852 on: September 10, 2017, 11:08:11 PM »
I somehow ended up on stage with three flamenco girls , I could have said no I accepted their offer to make a complete fool of myself trying to copy their moves in front of the whole guests in the audience (about 300)

I was a bit out of my comfort zone.
I'm Saloninus, by the way. And I tell lies, from time to time. Which goes to prove the old rule; never entirely trust a man who talks about himself in the third person.

Blue and Gold by K.J Parker

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1853 on: September 11, 2017, 01:49:01 AM »
I somehow ended up on stage with three flamenco girls , I could have said no I accepted their offer to make a complete fool of myself trying to copy their moves in front of the whole guests in the audience (about 300)

I was a bit out of my comfort zone.

PLEASE say you have photos!!!


BTW-- does anyone know how to overcome incredibly self-destructive procrastination?

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1854 on: September 11, 2017, 04:51:42 AM »
BTW-- does anyone know how to overcome incredibly self-destructive procrastination?

1. Identify the source, which is generally of three kinds: laziness, dread of the task, and lack of an idea.
If you're lazy, either move your life out your way or move your way more into your life. If you routinely dread the task, get another job. Learn to tell the difference between the first two kinds and the third. Waiting for inspiration is not procrastination, it's brilliant.
2. Habit and routine are the building blocks of success, much more effective than free will. Set a routine to do what must be done and stick to it for 30 days and you won't have to make yourself do things anymore, you'll just find yourself doing them.
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Magnus Hedén

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1855 on: September 11, 2017, 10:12:48 AM »
@Bradley Darewood

I wish I could give you some quick fix, but I think it's better to accept that they don't exist.

I've slowly been overcoming my procrastination by building better habits (and grinding away the bad ones), and I can tell you a little about my strategy. Maybe it will help. It takes a lot of time, but it gives lasting results. To build a good habit (or get rid of a bad one), the most important part is to set achievable goals. Working 5 minutes on a task every day is better than not working on it at all, and if you do it every day, you'll build the habit of getting started. It also might trigger the 'rolling ball' effect, i.e. you find yourself picking up momentum after having done your 5 minutes. Once that's settled in you can slowly increase your goals. It takes 2-3 weeks to build a simple habit, provided you stick with it nearly every day. Missing a day or two isn't a reason to give up, either. Just keep going. Every time counts.

Meanwhile, look for ways to reduce access to the things you do while you procrastinate, and make it easier to do the things you should be doing. I keep moving the links for my social media around so I have to go looking for them, for example, which gives me time to stop myself. Most of our procrastination behaviours are bad habits. We start them without even thinking about it. Put something in the way. And accept that you can't go cold turkey. Try to slowly reduce it by setting a timer or some other limit.

Changing habits takes time. But if you allow them to build, they stick around. My average day today is ridiculously different from my average day some 3-4 years ago. But while I can tell you roughly at what time I decided I needed to change my life, I can't point at any particular time when "things got better." It's gradual, and sometimes it's frustrating because you don't even notice it unless you step back and take a proper look.

Online ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1856 on: September 11, 2017, 10:48:18 AM »
I somehow ended up on stage with three flamenco girls , I could have said no I accepted their offer to make a complete fool of myself trying to copy their moves in front of the whole guests in the audience (about 300)

I was a bit out of my comfort zone.

PLEASE say you have photos!!!
This, this!!

Quote
BTW-- does anyone know how to overcome incredibly self-destructive procrastination?
Gem and Magnus have got the serious answers.
I've got the suggestion of this book (which I've just finished reading): "Get Your Sh*t Together: How to Stop Worrying About What You Should Do So You Can Finish What You Need to Do and Start Doing What You Want to Do"
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"There is no way to kill someone mercifully. (...) They may claim that their victims did not suffer. They lie. All they may truly say is that the victim's suffering was invisible to them." Robin Hobb ("Fool's Assassin")

Offline ultamentkiller

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1857 on: September 11, 2017, 02:15:57 PM »
It depends on what you're procrastinating about. If it's writing a book, that's a lot different than getting something done by a specific time and turning it in late. A couple years ago I had a 13 in Chemistry due to not turning in any assignments. I eventually turned them in, but I could only pull up my grade to a 65 from there. I'm still proud of that leap, but I failed the class. and now I've had a complete reversal. I spent all day yesterday doing this week's homework, and have more work that I'm doing today. It's not easy flipping from one to the other, but it can be done.

As far as procrastinating with a creative project... Can't help you there. I'm still doing that one.

Offline Eclipse

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1858 on: September 11, 2017, 03:37:17 PM »
I somehow ended up on stage with three flamenco girls , I could have said no I accepted their offer to make a complete fool of myself trying to copy their moves in front of the whole guests in the audience (about 300)

I was a bit out of my comfort zone.

PLEASE say you have photos!!!
This, this!!


Unfortunately no , I pretended to be @Jmack pretending to be a girl predending do the female flamenco moves! I can't believe no one took a photo of me! Lots of people came up too me saying thank god it wasn't them who got picked out of the audience and I had balls to do it or words to that affect. I felt very embarrassed but I also felt very brave to get on stage in front of such a lot of people who I don't know. I didn't think I be the only volunteer on my own through haha

I'm Saloninus, by the way. And I tell lies, from time to time. Which goes to prove the old rule; never entirely trust a man who talks about himself in the third person.

Blue and Gold by K.J Parker

Online ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1859 on: September 11, 2017, 03:52:12 PM »
I'm so proud of you, Eclipse :D

I've seen myself in the same situation, only it was aboriginal dancing in Australia, and there were just a handful of people ;D
(and I've got photos, hehe)
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