January 22, 2018, 08:17:42 AM

Author Topic: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread  (Read 912 times)

Offline NightWrite

Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2018, 03:43:26 PM »
Whispers “Doesn’t have to be people.....”
Now I have the thought of a magic, sentient sword deciding they want to reinvent their image. So now when their user tries to use them for combat, they'll be all "nope, I'm gonna go cut those vegetables for my stew now." Or "The only war I'm gonna fight is the war against bad fashion."

Online ScarletBea

  • Positive Invisible Fighter - and bringer of Cake. 2nd in Command of the Writing Contest
  • Moderator
  • Big Wee Hag
  • ******
  • Posts: 8664
  • Total likes: 5055
  • Gender: Female
  • Geeky Reading Introvert
    • View Profile
    • LibraryThing profile
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #16 on: January 07, 2018, 04:32:01 PM »
Whispers “Doesn’t have to be people.....”
Now I have the thought of a magic, sentient sword deciding they want to reinvent their image. So now when their user tries to use them for combat, they'll be all "nope, I'm gonna go cut those vegetables for my stew now." Or "The only war I'm gonna fight is the war against bad fashion."
Ohmygawd, I SO want to read this ;D ;D
Have you written comedy before, @NightWrite? Time to give it a try!!
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!
"It's time we steered by the stars, not by the lights of each passing ship" (general O.N. Bradley)

Offline NightWrite

Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #17 on: January 07, 2018, 08:00:55 PM »
Ohmygawd, I SO want to read this ;D ;D
Have you written comedy before, @NightWrite? Time to give it a try!!
I'm not sure anything I've ever written counted as a comedy, though some of my stories have had minor comedic elements.

Offline xiagan

  • Writing Contest Organizer
  • Powers That Be
  • Elderling
  • *
  • Posts: 5295
  • Total likes: 2148
  • Gender: Male
  • Master Procrastinator
    • View Profile
    • Fictional Times
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #18 on: January 07, 2018, 09:07:46 PM »
Ohmygawd, I SO want to read this ;D ;D
Have you written comedy before, @NightWrite? Time to give it a try!!
I'm not sure anything I've ever written counted as a comedy.
That's okay. Unintentional comical writing is way more funny most of the time anyways.  ;D
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Offline Nora

  • Dropped in from another planet avec son sourire provocateur - et Hades and Writing Contest Regular
  • Writing Group
  • Dragonrider
  • ***
  • Posts: 4214
  • Total likes: 3338
  • Gender: Female
  • The Explorer
    • View Profile
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2018, 10:36:31 PM »
The more Sanderson I read, the less I'm into sassy talking swords. But Rukaio pulled a very funny one once, so I'd be curious to see it tried again.
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline xiagan

  • Writing Contest Organizer
  • Powers That Be
  • Elderling
  • *
  • Posts: 5295
  • Total likes: 2148
  • Gender: Male
  • Master Procrastinator
    • View Profile
    • Fictional Times
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2018, 10:38:49 PM »
The more Sanderson I read, the less I'm into sassy talking swords. But Rukaio pulled a very funny one once, so I'd be curious to see it tried again.
Whispers “Doesn’t have to be swords.....”
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Offline NightWrite

Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2018, 02:22:57 AM »
At the moment its a sentient blade, can't decide on the type of weapon, which wants to become a chef despite being unable to taste.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 02:24:51 AM by NightWrite »

Offline Bradley Darewood

  • aka Barley Redwood
  • Writing Group
  • Kingkiller
  • ****
  • Posts: 1488
  • Total likes: 836
  • Gender: Male
  • Zork. And it was all downhill from there.
    • View Profile
    • Bradley Darewood on Tumblr!
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2018, 06:43:06 AM »
At the moment its a sentient blade, can't decide on the type of weapon, which wants to become a chef despite being unable to taste.

That sounds hilarious

Offline xiagan

  • Writing Contest Organizer
  • Powers That Be
  • Elderling
  • *
  • Posts: 5295
  • Total likes: 2148
  • Gender: Male
  • Master Procrastinator
    • View Profile
    • Fictional Times
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2018, 09:12:31 AM »
At the moment its a sentient blade, can't decide on the type of weapon, which wants to become a chef despite being unable to taste.
Cutting edge of cooking.
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Offline D_Bates

  • Story Critiquaire Extraordinaire and a Writing Contest Regular
  • Writing Group
  • Ambient Mage
  • ****
  • Posts: 431
  • Total likes: 137
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #24 on: January 09, 2018, 03:53:30 PM »
Was really disappointed in myself for not finding the time to write the story of my 'Donald Trump meteorite'(tm) that popped straight into my head on seeing the last month's contest topic. Then this one came up and my mind drew an utter blank. But! A ray of light hit me today and it's coming along nicely. Hopefully I'll have this one entered with proper edits long before the very last day this time around, and in doing so will manage to break this 'Lanko's Curse' that's been hanging over me as of late.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2018, 03:57:04 PM by D_Bates »
David Bates
Works in progress:
Ciara: A Faun's Tale - 90,000; The K.B.G. - 100,000; Maria and the Jarls of Jotun - 90,000; The Shame that lurks in Stableton - current project; Ezra'il - Plotted. TBC July 2018

Offline ryanmcgowan

Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #25 on: January 13, 2018, 12:17:04 AM »
Well after a couple years absent from the monthly comp I made a New Years resolution to myself that i’d Try and enter every month this year.  Will have to sit down and get writing!  :o
It's the silence that scares me. It’s the blank page on which I can write my own fears.

Offline Bradley Darewood

  • aka Barley Redwood
  • Writing Group
  • Kingkiller
  • ****
  • Posts: 1488
  • Total likes: 836
  • Gender: Male
  • Zork. And it was all downhill from there.
    • View Profile
    • Bradley Darewood on Tumblr!
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #26 on: January 13, 2018, 01:12:04 PM »
Sooo... this has nothing to do with Rebirth and Renewal, but I never quite finished my disqualified-discussion-thread story last month and I sorta promised @Lanko and @Henry Dale they'd be in it.  I don't quite know what to title it.  It's got Ancient Egypt, cats, dogs and Lanko is a doctor.





Young Henry Dale looked at his friends in confusion. “I thought you said this was a Lodge meeting. It feels like an interrogation.”

“It is,” his best friend Jeff said, petting his dachshund for comfort. Was he referring to the Lodge meeting or the interrogation? Jeff’s eyes were tight with concern. “Just answer the questions HD.” The four men peered at him impassively.  Jeff, Fred from work, Jonsie, and Dr. Lankers, who was wearing his labcoat for some reason. They often called him “Doc”.

Dr. L held up a photo. “What do you see?” the learned man asked, eyes narrowing.  The entire group leaned forward, as if to peer into Henry’s soul.

“Uhhh… a kitten?”

They all leaned back whispering among each other, staring askance at their interviewee. Doc composed himself and leaned forward once again.  “Do you…” he took a deep breath, “do you think its... cute?”

No one breathed.

Henry eyed them in confusion. “I—I don’t know.  I--I guess.”

The doctor breathed a sigh of relief. “A moderate response. He’s good.”

Jeff hooted pumping his fist in the hair. “I told you! I told you my boy wasn’t one of them!”  The four men rushed forward, locking the confused Henry into an uncomfortable group man-hug.

“Is this how all… Lodge meetings start?” Henry asked. They ignored him.

“After last week I was so scared,” Jonsie said, hands shaking.

“Yeah,” Fred replied, “When Alex started fawning over the picture and going on about how adorable it was, I nearly shit myself.”

“Wait, Alex? From work?” Henry crossed his arms. “Does that have anything to do with why he hasn’t been in all week?”

“We had to block his phone,” Fred said solemnly. “Stop sitting with him at lunch. It’s sad to see a grown man cry, but it’s just too dangerous.”

“Wait, what?”

Dr. Lankers leaned back, adjusting his glasses.  “Do you want to know the history of the Freemasons?  The real history?”

“Uhhh, sure. What does this have to do with Alex?”

“Ancient Egypt was once a peace loving society. Until the cats came.”

“Egypt,” Henry repeated dubiously.

“Egypt.” Doc’s voice was laden with authority. “The masons built the pyramids—“

“The pyramids were built by slaves,” Henry said flatly. “Like, they were worked to death.”

“Says history books. Written by cat loving historians. But yes, we were slaves.  The slaves of cats.

Henry opened his mouth to speak, but instead closed his eyes in frustration.

“Cats had already taken Egypt, ruling from the shadows with an iron fist.  A small band of masons fled to Europe and founded and founded the freemasons.”

“Cats ruled ancient Egypt,” Henry said dubiously.

“They still rule Egypt, and all the Middle East.  And they’re spreading here! Think about it. In the East, dogs are considered dirty.  It’s even an insult to call someone a dog. But is an insult to call someone a cat?”

“You can’t just demonize an entire society because they hate dogs.” Henry squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He was getting a headache. He looked at all four men, searching for any signs of sanity. “You’re talking about like half of the human population.”

“Exactly!” Jeff interjected.

“Who do you think was behind 9-11?” Jonsie was shaking again.  “The freemasons built the World Trade Center.  And cat lovers drove planes into it.

“That’s ridiculous. And racist. Okay first off, the masons did not build—“

“This isn’t about race.” Doc replied, “They try to make us think that, so we don’t see the true enemy. They infiltrate the top levels of society, infecting religious and political leaders with their brain parasite.  Even our own.”

“There are rumors that Ivanka bought the President a cat,” Jonsie added.

“It explains so much. The warmongering. The complete disregard for human life. The dyslexic twitter posts.” Jeff crossed his arms matter-of-factly.

“This is crazy,” Henry said. “Look, my girlfriend got a cat a couple of weeks ago and she seems perfectly fine. In fact, she’s even gotten more laid back.”

The room froze.

“We used to argue all the time,” Henry continued. “You know she wants kids and I’m like we should wait-- we only met two months ago.  She used to get really upset. But now she’s even decided to start taking birth control.”

“Offered, or you mean the cat had her spayed,” Dr. Lankers said, an angry gleam in his eyes.

“You can’t honestly think it has something to do with the cat.”

“Um, that’s basically exactly what you just said bro,” Jeff said furrowing his brow.

“Complete disregard for logic. It’s a sign of the parasite,” Doc hissed.

“Oh, God!” Jeff’s hands flew to his face.  He closed his eyes and turned away.

“Quick!” Lankers called, “Check him for trackers! Bugs! Anything!”

Fred and Jonsie leapt up, removing his jacket. Jonsie shook it violently then started patting it down in a panic.

“Oh God! Oh God!” Jeff started pacing in circles, clutching his hair with his hands.

The doctor pulled a pen light from his pocket and shined it in Henry’s face.  “His pupils are reactive,” Doc reported to the others.  “Henry, stick out your tongue.”

“What are you--?” Henry protested as Fred started taking off his shirt and Jonsie started pulling off his pants.

“Mr. Dale—have you been anywhere near its feces?

“What?”

“It’s feces! Have you touched the cat’s shit?” Lankers was yelling.

“God no!”

The doctor seemed relieved.

“The clothes are clear,” Jonsie reported.

“The toxoplasmosis.  Its spreads through the feces. You might be okay, but we’re going to need a blood sample,” Doc explained.

“You’ve got to be kid—“ Henry, stripped to his boxers, was forced back into the chair by Fred and Jonsie. Before he knew it, the doc had slipped a needle in his arm. “Is that needle even clean?”

The sight of blood was too much.  Henry fainted.

***

Henry’s eyes were sullen when he finally returned to the welcoming warmth of his girlfriend’s apartment.  He was decidedly relieved that his night out was over.

“Honey, you’re back!” Sandy smiled warmly, setting her wine glass down and pulling the overweight Mr. Ripples off of her lap.  “Look Mr. Ripples is happy to see you!” Mr. Ripples crouched low to the ground, fangs in a sneer. His ears were flattened and the tip of his tail was twitching. 

“Doesn’t… he do that when he’s hunting mice?”

“It can mean a lot of things,” she said defensively.  “He also does that when he’s happy to see you.  Don’t you, Mr Ripples?”

She scratched the side of the cat’s head affectionately and it recoiled, baring its fangs.  “See! He’s smiling!”

“Uhhh, yeah.  Okay.”

Sandy gripped her boyfriend’s shirt, and gave him a warm kiss.  “It’s good to see you honey.”

“You too. I’m so sorry I spend so much time with the guys. They’re a little much, maybe I should—“

“No! No!  You spend all the time you like with your friends!  Please!  It’s one of the things I love about you.”

“Uh, okay,” Henry said, confused.

Sandy patted him on the chest, “I have something to do really quick. Go wait for me in bed.”

As soon as Henry waddled off, Sandy scooped up Mr. Ripples, ignoring his protests.  She made her way to her computer.  Macs were so much better than PCs.  PCs were for dog lovers.

She stroked Mr. Ripples absently, making sure to pin him in her lap with her forearm, and checked the spy app she had installed.  The audio files were there. Everything within earshot of her boyfriend’s phone.

She put her earphones in and listened….  Finally! The masons had done the blood test!  It was safe to proceed to phase two of their relationship.

“Honey!” Sandy called into the bedroom. “I forgot something!”

“What do you need, dear?” Henry called back.

“Could you do me a huge favor and change the kitty litter for me?”

“Of course babe!”

Sandy stroked Mr. Ripples in satisfaction as a wicked smile crept across her face.  She’d do anything for Mr. Ripples.

Anything at all.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2018, 07:27:21 AM by Bradley Darewood »

Online ScarletBea

  • Positive Invisible Fighter - and bringer of Cake. 2nd in Command of the Writing Contest
  • Moderator
  • Big Wee Hag
  • ******
  • Posts: 8664
  • Total likes: 5055
  • Gender: Female
  • Geeky Reading Introvert
    • View Profile
    • LibraryThing profile
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #27 on: January 13, 2018, 01:17:57 PM »
 ;D ;D
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!
"It's time we steered by the stars, not by the lights of each passing ship" (general O.N. Bradley)

Offline Henry Dale

  • The Unsummonable and a Writing Contest Regular
  • Writing Group
  • Gentleman Bastard
  • *****
  • Posts: 1814
  • Total likes: 1286
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #28 on: January 13, 2018, 05:16:25 PM »
Don't know anyone named Sandy, we're safe guys  ;D
(except that the parasite thing is real)

Offline Lady Ty

  • Blessed River Lady and Defender of Baby Dragons
  • Ta'veren
  • **
  • Posts: 3057
  • Total likes: 2516
  • Gender: Female
  • Dragon Duchess
    • View Profile
Re: [Jan 2018] - Rebirth/Renewal - Discussion Thread
« Reply #29 on: January 14, 2018, 06:24:30 AM »
Eli has TWO cats...........
“Stories are made up by people who make them up. If they work, they get retold. There's the magic of it.”
 Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders