March 20, 2018, 02:02:24 AM

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Messages - Bradley Darewood

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I'm so sorry to hear about that gem. Dad just had a skin cancer treatment that was brutal and I'm currently at a funeral for a cousin who died far too early so the emotions youre experiencing are very close at hand here. I've got your wife in my thoughts

General Discussion / Re: Member birthday calendar
« on: March 16, 2018, 08:10:44 AM »
Happy birthday TGC!!!!!

Please, someone tell me I'm right to feel this way, because I am flanked on multiple fronts by sane people who literally wish they were schizophrenic, hope they have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, etc., and the urge to choke them is causing my brain to melt.  >:(

People actually wish they were schizophrenic? Are you serious? Is it so they can claim benefits, or so they'll have an excuse to complain and demand sympathy? Do they just not understand what a severe issue that is?

This is utterly bizarre to me, and is not an attitude I have personally encountered. Yes, you have every right to be disgusted, I feel.

I've noticed that rich people I've known often search for some sort of trauma to give life meaning or some sense of struggle....  I relate to your sense of frustration.

So I guess I've always had this attitude where I'd rather trust people and accept that that means maybe your shit will get stolen or whatever and that the risk is worth living your life in a way that allows you to really feel a sense of community and connection with other people. I mean I generally don't put myself in some sort of place I can't escape, but I'd lend people my old laptops I'm no longer using, old phones, my car, my motorcycle etc. knowing they might wreck it or steal it, but enjoying the closeness you get from sharing-- I've borrowed my fair share of things too.

The thing about having a stalker is that it throws my whole universe out of whack.  I mean I imagined the worst case scenario of someone having access to my shit would be that they'd wipe my computer and pawn it or something. I never fathomed that someone would use it to track you, to torture you by sending you your own journal entries, threaten you with a sense of insecurity using knowledge of your habits, passwords, contacts, family phone numbers, work contacts... that someone would in their words "devote the next 4 years to destroying your life", meaning you constantly fear public appearances, what they might do where you work or you try to work as a public personage...

The worst part about it is that there aren't the typical signals-- the signs you might not be able to trust someone, that they might dislike you or are a threat are completely reversed-- it's the kindness that becomes the signal of a threat.  How do you deal with that? How do you function as a normal person after that? How do you make friends after something like that? 

In this case, I had *no* cues whatsoever. When he flipped it was because he "needed me to keep him from having panic attacks" and he had "abandonment issues" since his father left him or whatever. i tried in those early moments to explain to him that if someone is threatening to destroy your life if you don't unblock their phone, they're not the ones doing the abandoning, but that was before I realized the depth of his stalker psychosis.

Accepting any kind of charity or kindness from friends, strangers or family suddenly makes me uncomfortable. like anyone could turn out to be a psycho. Girls I know invited me to come visit from out of town and I'm like reading into it and scared of them. It's like the risk assessment is so off that I don't even know how to be normal anymore. Add on top of that that the stalker is a hacker and I don't even know if my phone is secure despite buying a new one and changing all my passwords.....  I just miss being able to live life normally, having a stalker is like having some sort of crippling chronic illness.


The thing is the brains have to be fresh. So you sorta have to die specifically for it to happen.

Writers' Corner / Re: Only Mostly Dead Poets Society
« on: March 15, 2018, 12:14:31 AM »

The Smiling Man

Icy shines his toothy grin,
Pale his finger bones so thin,
Creeping silent, ever near,
Hid in shadow, never clear,

Mother, Father, save me, wake me,
Don't let the Smiling Man come take me,
Leave my lantern burning brightly,
Lest his fingers choke me tightly,
And to the shadows drag me down,
Where toothy smiles turn to frowns.

Very nice, @The Gem Cutter. Thank you.

That definitely gave me the chills!  What do you think @Lady Ty ?

Sooooo.... Y Combinator has moved from funding AirBnB to funding a way to backup your brain... the only catch is that it kills you.

[MAR 2018] Letters / Re: [Mar 2018] - Letters - Discussion Thread
« on: March 14, 2018, 08:09:46 AM »
Dearest Nora,

Thank you for your prompt reply-- I apologize that I write both after some delay and with some perfunctory haste.  It appears that once again my family life conspires to conflict with entering our monthly contest as I must entertain family once again on the occasion of an untimely death. I do so look forward to catching up with you all once I resume my daily rhythm, yet it may be some time before I read the collected letters you all have painstakingly composed.

Your humble servant,

Sir Bradley Dyrwyd

Nah, the path to happiness is ice cream and chicken.

Writers' Corner / Re: War Accounts
« on: March 11, 2018, 09:23:07 AM »
I'm a big fan of Shadows of War: Violence, Power, and International Profiteering in the Twenty-First Century by Carolyn Nordstrom.  I love her.  I haven't read it, but I've heard A Different Kind of War Story is excellent too.

This is a lot more intellectual than ethnographic, but I also thought Susan Sontag's Regarding the Pain of Others to be illuminating.

I haven't read it, but A long way gone: Memoirs of of a boy solider by Ishmael Beah is probably what you are looking for. If you read it, let us all know what you thought of it. We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed by our families: Stories from Rwanda by Philip Gourevitch is also considered pretty good but I haven't read it.

As for books that I have read: there's the standard war reading: I, Roberta Manchu... Born on the Fourth of July... War is a force that gives us meaning... all of which are okay but seriously read the Nordstrom book instead, she's awesome.

Also it isn't about *war* per se, unless you count drug violence as war so maybe it is, but you should watch the Brazilian film "City of God" if you haven't, it's excellent and about children taking up arms.

If you have specific questions, I've worked in war zones with civilians, and interviewed people whose experiences as children drove them into war, some of whom might be considered child soldiers.

I got what you mean Gem, that it's how we keep score but maybe it shouldn't be... but then there's the whole looming threat of living in a box if you retire thing...

After awhile, the money is just how we keep score of the game.

In that case I'm embarrassingly bad at this sport.  Unless it's like golf where the low number is good in that case I'm knocking it out of the park!

[MAR 2018] Letters / Re: [Mar 2018] - Letters - Discussion Thread
« on: March 10, 2018, 01:18:51 AM »

Dearest Nora,

I hope that this letter finds you well.  I quite enjoy hearing about your anime-inspired writing project and it has me curious both about your upcoming opus and about watching the program that inspired it.  I must say I do enjoy your electronic missives and look forward to your next communication.



Anyone watching this?

Wonderfully bonkers. It's a really interesting take on the myth and mythology of those times, probably the most interesting aspect of it.
I wanted, but I no longer have Sky, so can't get this channel (exclusive to them)...

You can also get it on Amazon over here at least.

I'm only about half way through, but so far I'm enjoying it more than GoT!!! They pack so much in each episode it feels like it's a 4 hour film instead of 45 min.  The only thing I don't like is the opening credits song just sort of throws me for a loop it's like from 1968 so it's very anachronistic, not our time not theirs...

There's no buzz on it over here, I don't even remember how I came a cross it at all...

I answered cunning questions from Hippogriff's Aerie for my first ever interview as an author.
Featuring: stop-motion skeletons, video nasties of the 80s, mysterious statues and the beauty of swords. Oh, and The Traitor God, better mention that too!

Great interview!!!

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