July 11, 2020, 10:01:05 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 323010 times)

Offline Magnus Hedén

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3090 on: June 16, 2020, 08:25:25 AM »
I get days like that as well, though less often now. But like in the article, there are definitely some tough feelings associated with this new situation which we are bad at expressing. I've read a lot of interesting research on the subject, which basically boils down to that our emotional self-awareness is actually guided by the depth of our emotional vocabulary (the article talks a bit about this). But it's quite fascinating that we are capable of having different ranges of emotions depending on our culture and upbringing. Anyway, that does mean that trying to define what we're feeling and naming it will help. We feel much less lost at the emotional sea if we can say we're feeling 'covish', for example (provided we have a clear picture of what that means).

The emotion I'd like to add to my vocabulary is this thing that has struck me harder than I thought, roughly: "the inability to spontaneously reach out or respond socially"; how the situation has removed something that I didn't realise I had taken for granted -- a pillar of social potentiality that was always just there (I am usually fine on my own for weeks on end, so I figured it wasn't as important to me; I was wrong).

So what do you think is a good word for that inability to reach out (even if you don't always need to)?
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Online ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3091 on: June 16, 2020, 09:34:26 AM »
I can't think of words now, you writers are better at it, hehe, but you described something that I relate to 100%.
I never even realised that.

In the dream I mentioned, the trigger was saying hello to someone with 2 kisses on the cheeks (I was in Portugal), and suddenly I thought that was wrong and I couldn't do that anymore. It's very much what you described.
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Offline Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3092 on: June 16, 2020, 01:21:55 PM »
I think part of it is the lack of choice and control that we currently have. It's one thing to choose to not go out and see people, it's another to be told that you're not allowed to, with no definite answer to when you can.

Personally, I know why I'm struggling on some days, but it doesn't actually make it any easier. For me, it's being dependant on other people, and not being able to influence anything: it's being in limbo with work (I should find out some time this week when I'll be able to go back into the office), and my house sale (waiting on my sellers to get themselves sorted). Once those two milestones are reached, I'll be able to feel like I'm actually getting on with my life.


Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3093 on: June 18, 2020, 01:30:20 PM »
My daughter is moving in. This is going to be good but difficult.

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3094 on: June 18, 2020, 01:45:14 PM »
My daughter is moving in. This is going to be good but difficult.
Gosh, I imagine, if you're used to living on your own.
I hope it was for 'good' reasons (not bad things like losing a job or something).

Good luck!
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Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3095 on: June 19, 2020, 02:52:12 PM »
Thanks, Bea. I am a grumpy old man used to my own space so it will be tough. Her flat was one of 14 and some of her neighbours were dicks, so I am happier having her with me or at least out of there. It will make sense for her financially as she will get a chance to save for a deposit on a place of her own at an early age and before she actually starts earning real money. She is a first year apprentice in electrical engineering so smarter than her dad.

Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3096 on: June 19, 2020, 03:02:13 PM »
Thanks, Bea. I am a grumpy old man used to my own space so it will be tough. Her flat was one of 14 and some of her neighbours were dicks, so I am happier having her with me or at least out of there. It will make sense for her financially as she will get a chance to save for a deposit on a place of her own at an early age and before she actually starts earning real money. She is a first year apprentice in electrical engineering so smarter than her dad.
This can either be a great chance to resolve past issues and grow closer together or be the start of another period where you don't talk to each other.
I wish you luck for the first option!
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Offline JMack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3097 on: June 25, 2020, 11:36:51 PM »
I can imagine your situation, Rostum. I hope it all works out.
Just make sure to take several breaths before reacting to something in a way that escalates.
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Offline Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3098 on: June 26, 2020, 01:56:52 PM »
I hate conveyancing solicitors, and people who leave anything to do with a house sale or purchase until the 11th hour. We still waiting on exchanging contracts as my sellers' solicitors were waiting for a document. Everyone wants to complete and move a week today, but no-one can fully commit to that until we've all exchanged. I want to get utilities sorted, but I don't want to do anything until the completion date is confirmed, just in case it has to be pushed back!

My anxiety levels have been pretty low the last few weeks, as I've got a date to go back to work, but this is not helping in the slightest.

Online ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3099 on: June 27, 2020, 04:39:39 PM »
I am so sick of hearing that the guy who did the shooting/stabbing/driving over people/ whatever horrible thing had "mental health issues" as the justification!! >:(

I have mental health issues, many millions of people around the world have mental health issues, and yet we don't go around hurting others!

Find something else to explain it, or accept that there's simply no justification...
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Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3100 on: July 01, 2020, 03:55:23 PM »
Over 60% of Federal employees are on anti depressants in the USA. It is a crime not to declare such but it cannot negatively influence your career. How many self-medicate or are unaware the struggle to get out of bed on any given day could be down to brain chemistry and not the soul-destroying grind is unknown. Probably 25% of the worlds' population go through depression at some point in their lives and 10% through some other mental illness. A few suffer for years and there is no cure. Meds alleviate symptoms but often bring additional problems and dependency.

A tiny fraction of people sane or otherwise feel it is OK to go round sticking knives in other people.

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3101 on: July 02, 2020, 06:17:23 PM »
Over 60% of Federal employees are on anti depressants in the USA.

Wait, what? Okay, clearly something is being done wrong here.
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Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3102 on: July 03, 2020, 08:07:40 AM »
America either over medicates, or has the highest rate of depression outside war zones in the world. Federal employees cannot be discriminated against for any mental health treatment they receive. As a result a lot of people with long term issues work for the federal government.

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #3103 on: July 10, 2020, 10:35:39 PM »
Those days when you just don't want to go to bed, or rather, you just want to go when it's 100% certain that you'll fall asleep the minute your head hits the pillow, without room for any thoughts. At all.
 :-\
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