November 18, 2018, 06:50:01 PM

Author Topic: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)  (Read 829471 times)

Offline Yora

Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10635 on: April 19, 2018, 06:04:11 PM »
In my perception, the view in Germany is simply as one of the more infamous Nazi atrocities (and Soviet evils, but we don't like to make such comparisons to not give the impression that Nazi evil is regular evil). I didn't know that there are any statues. Which makes me realize that we, kind of selfishly, look at the whole event only within the German redemption story. (We plead guilty to everything.)


"For many of us, the summer months are basically June, July, August and September - in the Northern Hemisphere the Summer Solstice, which is around June 21, marks the beginning of summer.
Winter starts when you get frost during the day.
Spring starts when you can go out without scarf and gloves.
Summer starts when you stop wearing sweaters.
Fall starts when you start wearing sweaters again.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2018, 06:08:18 PM by Yora »
Beneath the Leaves of Kaendor

There is nothing to read!

Offline JMack

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10636 on: April 20, 2018, 10:31:21 AM »
See John work.
Work, John, work.
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)

Online ScarletBea

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10637 on: April 20, 2018, 12:07:16 PM »
See John work.
Work, John, work.
Noooooo, John, only work on normal hours, come back to us John..... :'(
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"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all" - Douglas Adams

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10638 on: April 22, 2018, 04:12:09 AM »
See John work.
Work, John, work.
Noooooo, John, only work on normal hours, come back to us John..... :'(

At first I read that as John Wick lol.  ;D  "I once saw him kill three men in a bar... with a pencil, with a fucking pencil."

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10639 on: April 22, 2018, 10:05:01 AM »
See John work.
Work, John, work.
Noooooo, John, only work on normal hours, come back to us John..... :'(

At first I read that as John Wick lol.  ;D  "I once saw him kill three men in a bar... with a pencil, with a fucking pencil."
I think our @JMack is less violent ;) ;D

And wow: it's 10am and I've had breakfast in bed reading, did a washing machine load and hung everything outside, and ran 3.6km! 8)
(well, I think I ran about 3.5 and walked 100m in 2 sections that were just an awful climb...)
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Offline Lady Ty

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10640 on: April 23, 2018, 02:06:59 PM »
Here is a little fun for a Monday morning. Author John Birmingham, writes a Monday and Friday newsletter called AlienSideBoob. The Friday ones are hilarious political comment and help keep me sane, but would not pass our mods, while the Monday ones are more gentle. Today was one for the Forum

The Rejection Letter


Spoiler for Hiden:
Dear Mr Birmingham

Thank you so much for giving Harlequin Romance the opportunity to consider your manuscript DEATH CAME WITH TENTACLES. While I really enjoyed reading about Dave Hooper’s fight with an army of demonic squids, I'm sorry to say I can't offer you a contract with Harlequin Romance at this time. Dave is an engaging character and you have a compelling writing style, but neither Dave nor this particular story are quite right for our readers. May we explain why?

Harlequin Romance, as implied by our name, is a long time publisher of romantic fiction, mostly for women. Over the years our most beloved stories have been told by our most relatable heroines. Dave, while no doubt relatable to a number of men, is not by the strict dictionary definition, a heroine—what you might call a lady hero. He is arguably not even much of a hero. His character arc does not so much progress along a hero’s journey as it aimlessly weaves from one drunken encounter to the next, behind the wheel of a stolen pickup truck, which is filled with unstable explosives.

While Dave’s unexplained sexual magnetism does mean that a great many of these ‘encounters’ are with ‘super hot bitches’, the ensuing relationships are, to be honest, rather too numerous, random and short in duration to really qualify as ‘romance’; at least as far as our readership understands the word. As the only other encounters in DEATH CAME WITH TENTACLES tend to involve Dave wrestling with gigantic evil calamari monsters, there does not appear to be much room for his character to grow or for the story to unfold as a traditional Harlequin Romance reader might expect.

It is true that even in romance, story and character cannot evolve and advance without conflict, but our most successful authors tend to define such conflict in terms of emotional disconnect between a relatable heroine and the man of her dreams. Whilst you do briefly mention Dave’s one serious emotional issue—his love for Sparky, his morbidly obese hunting dog, and Dave’s distress when Sparky is eaten by a demon squid—we felt that this issue lacked depth and nuance. Dave’s response to the loss of his one true love (pulling all of the tentacles off the demon squid that ate poor Sparky, tying them into a giant calamari ball, and throwing it into an exploding oil refinery, which previously had not been mentioned anywhere in the text) did quite deftly reveal character through action, but we did not feel it was the sort of character which would appeal to our readers.

We are sorry to disappoint you on this occasion, but it is always possible that future manuscripts not involving Dave, Sparky, horror squids and quite so many super hot bitches, may find a home with us, and we hope you'll consider us for future submissions.

Yours sincerely

Joanne St. Lucia.

Editorial Department

Harlequin Romance.
 
“This is the problem with even lesser demons. They come to your doorstep in velvet coats and polished shoes. They tip their hats and smile and demonstrate good table manners. They never show you their tails.” 
Leigh Bardugo, The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10641 on: April 23, 2018, 03:55:47 PM »
;D ;D
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Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10642 on: April 23, 2018, 05:26:15 PM »
Reminds me of this little gem:
Spoiler for Hiden:
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10643 on: April 23, 2018, 05:28:11 PM »
Spoiler for Hiden:
"she breasted boobily"
! OMG what is this? ;D ;D
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Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10644 on: April 23, 2018, 05:29:03 PM »
When nouns rock, you make 'em into verbs. See what I did there?  8)
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline xiagan

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10645 on: April 23, 2018, 08:07:32 PM »
@JMack just remembered the hummus naming. Was a decision made? Does a logo exist? (Rag'n'Bone Man: It's only hummus after all...)
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10646 on: April 24, 2018, 07:04:45 AM »
Reminds me of this little gem:
Spoiler for Hiden:

I seriously laughed out loud at this. Not to mention that I 'kind of' did this in my first novel too.  ;D  One of the reason I gave up writing female characters for good, I think.

Offline JMack

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10647 on: April 24, 2018, 10:54:32 AM »
@JMack just remembered the hummus naming. Was a decision made? Does a logo exist? (Rag'n'Bone Man: It's only hummus after all...)

Hello!

The winner is: Hummivore

His customers voted for “Hummilicious” as number 1, but Hummivore was very close second, and Dave prefers it. He’s working on a logo with a graphic designer. One idea had to do with using the monsters from “Where the Wild Things Are” as an inspiration.
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10648 on: April 24, 2018, 02:41:42 PM »
^ lots of good luck to Jmacksson :D

I'm now working at home.
They were resurfacing the car park, and the tarmac smell was really making me sick! I held on until my last meeting, and now working from home the rest of the afternoon 8)

(the temptation to just go read my book is HUGE :-[)
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Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: The King's Paws (with one holding a bottle of Peri Peri sauce.)
« Reply #10649 on: April 25, 2018, 01:49:29 AM »


« Last Edit: April 25, 2018, 05:01:41 AM by Bradley Darewood »