April 08, 2020, 12:49:34 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 298559 times)

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2955 on: February 24, 2020, 09:05:37 PM »
"What makes me happy in life?" is a question that very few managed to answer honestly for themselves.

I've made a couple of attempts and having reached those goals, I find they were not really working out as I expected them. Moments of fleeting happiness, but lacking the feeling of content.

I'm still searching for the answer.

PS: I better hope it's not 42  :o
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Online Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2956 on: February 25, 2020, 07:55:41 PM »
Happiness is a tricky concept, and I think it is in large part due to pop culture feeding us ideas that we can't possibly live up to.

You see people who have achieved everything our society considers "success" commit suicide. Because ultimately things like financial success, creative success, social contact and what have you are all tools meant to achieve an end: contentment. And ultimately contentment is an emotional state, and so comes from within.

I'm not saying I'm going to go all zen master, abandon my worldly possessions, live in a cave and subsist on rice, but these last few years I'm the happiest I've ever been and it's simply because I'm better than I was at living with myself. I don't beat myself up over not being like "everyone else", or not achieving a life I'm simply not cut out for. I'm ME, and I need to live the life that suits ME. And I'm doing pretty okay at it.

Don't look outside for what'll fix you. Look inside.
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2957 on: February 25, 2020, 08:20:27 PM »
Thanks, Eli. Agree 100% :)
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Offline Magnus Hedén

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2958 on: February 25, 2020, 08:40:15 PM »
Agreed with Eli. I'd like to add that we're conditioned to look ahead for happiness, always supposed to find it hiding behind that next thing you just have to accomplish first. But if you're always happy in the future and never in the present, then you'll never be happy, because now is the only time you ever experience.

I've changed my outlook since I discovered positive psychology. I think the best introduction to the subject is Shawn Achor's TED talk (ignore the 'work' in the title, it's just there for the business crowd). I keep coming back to watch it because it's brilliant in such a simple way and incredibly funny.
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Online Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2959 on: February 25, 2020, 10:01:53 PM »
Agreed with Eli. I'd like to add that we're conditioned to look ahead for happiness, always supposed to find it hiding behind that next thing you just have to accomplish first. But if you're always happy in the future and never in the present, then you'll never be happy, because now is the only time you ever experience.

There is a lot of money to be made in making people feel unfulfilled. And sometimes it's not even about money. I've come to the conclusion that Instagram is very bad for people's emotional health.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2960 on: February 26, 2020, 02:36:44 AM »
Agreed with Eli. I'd like to add that we're conditioned to look ahead for happiness, always supposed to find it hiding behind that next thing you just have to accomplish first. But if you're always happy in the future and never in the present, then you'll never be happy, because now is the only time you ever experience.

There is a lot of money to be made in making people feel unfulfilled. And sometimes it's not even about money. I've come to the conclusion that Instagram is very bad for people's emotional health.

Totally agreed on the Instagram part. I've got the same vibes as well, that Instagram is mostly designed for people to show off whatever they have, whether it be the places they'd traveled to, their looks, or all of their most frivolous dressing accessories. There's not a single shred of truth in there, and it's all just designed for people to brag about themselves endlessly, to an empty purpose in the end.

Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2961 on: February 26, 2020, 12:10:00 PM »
Comparison is the death of happiness. Don't compare your significant other, your pay check, your car with others. Stop being constantly on search mode for something slightly better.

I'm not saying you should stop striving for a better life but enjoying and being content with what you have is one of  the main ingredients (if not the main ingredient) for happiness.
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Online Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2962 on: February 26, 2020, 12:46:12 PM »
Comparison is the death of happiness. Don't compare your significant other, your pay check, your car with others. Stop being constantly on search mode for something slightly better.

I'm not saying you should stop striving for a better life but enjoying and being content with what you have is one of  the main ingredients (if not the main ingredient) for happiness.
°

Well said.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2963 on: February 26, 2020, 09:29:24 PM »
The only Instagram accounts I follow are for pets.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2964 on: February 27, 2020, 06:13:31 AM »
The only Instagram accounts I follow are for pets.

I have my own pets' account, I mean had. Kids captured the account lately :)
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2965 on: February 28, 2020, 08:59:08 PM »
I keep writing and deleting, writing and deleting...
I try to say what I'm feeling and it all sounds like I'm whining, oozing self-pity.
I guess I'm just trying to reach out.
*hugs to all*
I'm here.
Stupid day.
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Online Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2966 on: February 28, 2020, 09:21:56 PM »
I keep writing and deleting, writing and deleting...
I try to say what I'm feeling and it all sounds like I'm whining, oozing self-pity.
I guess I'm just trying to reach out.
*hugs to all*
I'm here.
Stupid day.

Just hit "Post". Say something about how you're feeling. Try it.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2967 on: February 28, 2020, 09:31:58 PM »
I keep writing and deleting, writing and deleting...
I try to say what I'm feeling and it all sounds like I'm whining, oozing self-pity.
I guess I'm just trying to reach out.
*hugs to all*
I'm here.
Stupid day.

Don't feel bad. Life ain't fair and sometimes we are done hard by, so self pity isn't always bad and we need to vent some steam out. Perfectly valid feeling in my opinion. If we can love ourselves, who else will  :) Just chill and do something that make you happy, give yourself a treat. Get a massage, drink a icecream milkshake, go to gym, buy something....you deserve it.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2968 on: February 29, 2020, 09:03:05 AM »
Thanks, I was feeling blegh yesterday.
Thinking about it this morning, I realise that not having anyone to chat with at work (whether it's mindless stuff or about the important stuff that's happening) is having an impact, so I need to find someone there (the ones I had have now all left...)
I also realised (or rather, let myself accept) that I don't have to go to new places all the time, as much as I'd like to, and going to nice, familiar, places can be a calm thing to do too.
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Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2969 on: February 29, 2020, 09:26:02 AM »
Belated HUGS!  :)
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

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