February 18, 2020, 12:06:54 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 288955 times)

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2910 on: January 10, 2020, 04:31:36 PM »
Positivity and happiness are a perspective.

My parents have a set of relatives and friends and a set routine which they are happy now. Me and my wife are happy doing new things, new culture, new experiences...this is what makes us happy. My parents would prefer would prefer us moving back home in a extended family under single roof which we loathe. While we would be happy if we could take our parents to some of our trips and "open their eyes" to rest of world.

It is only recently (after half a decade) that both me and my parents realized we were trying to convince each other of our own version of happiness, rather than just accept both of us have a different perspective. Now we have come to compromise, sort of. Not to full satisfaction, but a far more agreeable than arguing incessantly.

There is no definition to what'd make a person feel happy, satisfied and positive in life. Rather than trying to convince others to your views, just accept the differences and live with it.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2911 on: January 16, 2020, 12:51:18 PM »
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2912 on: January 16, 2020, 02:30:08 PM »
Due to a sharp market downturn there's going to be some redundancies at my company.
I'm safe, no one is required to leave in my area, but there's going to be several in the areas I mostly work with, people I consider my friends :'(

This happens every 9 years or so, but the fact I've been through it in the past doesn't help me handle this any better.

It's just so hard... I know I can't control anything, but I don't know what to do... continue as normal? I also feel a bit guilty for not having to worry.
What a mess :(
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Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2913 on: January 21, 2020, 03:56:57 PM »
I have the urge to do something....but then nothing interests me. Books, movies, TV shows, nothing I feel like getting lost into. Just wanted to waste time and laze about switching my mind off. It's damn weird.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2914 on: January 21, 2020, 04:11:12 PM »
Maybe it's your body telling you to rest?
I feel humanity has lost the art of boredom, so just embrace it and go with the flow - the interest will return eventually...

(and if it doesn't, you can check for other symptoms)
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Offline JMack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2915 on: January 21, 2020, 10:06:10 PM »
Folks here in Tobago seem to be masters of boredom. The man who ru s the bar at the hotel has been doing so for 15 years. He comes and goes.  Sits and watches the waves. Pays himself for the beer he drinks. Lives to travel everywhere else a few times a year. There are a few hustlers we’ve met, tour guides mainly (not hustlers as in con men, but as in always working, always looking for the next way to earn), but most of the island sits or stands around in a form of permanent non-waiting.
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2916 on: January 26, 2020, 04:10:49 PM »
A quote that makes me think and appreciate life better (kinder to myself):

"We are contrary creatures, us humans, but that isn't something we need be afraid of, or even much troubled by. And if you make a list of those people who worship consistency, you'll find they're one and all tyrants or would-be tyrants. Ruling over thousands, or over a husband or a wife, or some cowering child. Never fear contradiction, it is the very heart of diversity."
The bonehunters, Steven Erikson, page 915

:)
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Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2917 on: January 27, 2020, 12:10:28 AM »
So after much thought I set myself 2 goals, build muscles and get my Project Management certificate.

After 2 weeks in, I injured my arm (deltoid) and have to drop the course because my company mandated another course (for something in rarely to never use).

This year sucks.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2918 on: January 27, 2020, 01:11:41 PM »
Bender, I'm sorry about that.
I actually think that my quote above applies to your situation: yes, you tried to be consistent, set goals, but life interfered and now those goals are no longer possible. Please don't berate yourself and go with the flow, find other things you can focus on instead and enjoy them.
Good luck!
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Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2919 on: January 27, 2020, 01:44:59 PM »
I'm in a not-so-serious debt for a long time and struggling to cope with that. Adding to that, my kid just had a surgery which the insurance did not cover, my car broke down and my cat got sick. All of a sudden, I used another loan from the bank with a 5 year deal.

I think I'm going to continue to pay the debts for the rest of my life :)
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2920 on: January 27, 2020, 01:50:17 PM »
You might win the lottery, iso!
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2921 on: January 27, 2020, 01:57:08 PM »
You might win the lottery, iso!

I play it constantly and I'm still here :)
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2922 on: January 27, 2020, 02:01:34 PM »
Hope you manage without much problems, isos, good luck!

Is your kid better? I hope it wasn't anything too serious (anything related to children's health is potentially serious, but you know what I mean).
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Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2923 on: January 27, 2020, 02:27:53 PM »
Hope you manage without much problems, isos, good luck!

Is your kid better? I hope it wasn't anything too serious (anything related to children's health is potentially serious, but you know what I mean).

It was a minor issue but a surgery is a surgery. We were worried but everything was fine and we were discharged the same day. He is much better now. Thanks for the kind words :)
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2924 on: January 28, 2020, 08:20:25 AM »
I find it's hard to decide how much to share, who with, and when. I always worry about over-sharing and whether I'm going to be seen as attention seeking. Probably because my first reaction to any friend's Facebook posts of things that I think should stay private are along the lines of "something personal just happened, and the first thing you want to do is plaster it online for everyone to see?!"

Does anyone else get this dilemma? Is it an introvert thing, or just a me thing?  :-[