December 15, 2019, 04:41:45 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 273359 times)

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2745 on: June 02, 2019, 08:35:30 AM »
I started reading Mark Lawrence's On word kill last night.
I knew it was going to be about a boy with cancer.
What I didn't know is that it would bother me this much...

It's silly, how different levels of mention affect me at different points in time (or maybe it's completely normal ::)), but this time I need to replace the word in my brain - call it leukemia, not cancer. At least the chemo descriptions are different enough from my experience to be able to call it 'treatment' in my brain and not get upset.

I'm reaching the 3 year mark soon.
And a uni friend who went through the same thing at the same time (in a different country) just had hers back.
So there're reasons.

But HELL if I'm going to let this thing ruining my life or stop me doing things I want to do, like reading a BOOK >:( >:( I'm stronger than it!
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Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2746 on: June 02, 2019, 10:11:36 AM »
But HELL if I'm going to let this thing ruining my life or stop me doing things I want to do, like reading a BOOK >:( >:( I'm stronger than it!

Yes you are.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2747 on: June 08, 2019, 04:40:38 AM »
You are stronger than you think you are, Scarlet. Gotta believe you can do it!  :D


As for me, it's been quite a tumultuous couple of weeks. I finally quit medical school for the second and last time after being both physically and emotionally scarred by something that deep down I didn't even like. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with an almost bipolar disorder, with an underlying aggression of extreme degree. I was started on some meds, told to kept away all of my collected weapons (knives, bow, crossbow, etc.) and to avoid possible triggers whether in situations I encounter or in the media I consumed. Otherwise I could end up assaulting someone over the slightest of issues.

On the plus side, I'm finally back in my home country, and rehabilitation is in order, I guess. That would mean that I'll get more time to write too.

Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2748 on: June 08, 2019, 06:18:18 AM »
But HELL if I'm going to let this thing ruining my life or stop me doing things I want to do, like reading a BOOK >:( >:( I'm stronger than it!

Yes you are.

Seconded! I haven't been in the forum for a long time but it was enough to know that you're STRONGER than that.
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2749 on: June 08, 2019, 08:45:55 AM »
You are stronger than you think you are, Scarlet. Gotta believe you can do it!  :D


As for me, it's been quite a tumultuous couple of weeks. I finally quit medical school for the second and last time after being both physically and emotionally scarred by something that deep down I didn't even like. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with an almost bipolar disorder, with an underlying aggression of extreme degree. I was started on some meds, told to kept away all of my collected weapons (knives, bow, crossbow, etc.) and to avoid possible triggers whether in situations I encounter or in the media I consumed. Otherwise I could end up assaulting someone over the slightest of issues.

On the plus side, I'm finally back in my home country, and rehabilitation is in order, I guess. That would mean that I'll get more time to write too.

Have you tried yoga or meditation? Tai Chi also helps.

Not the commercial weight loss ones. Just look into the calming/mental benefits and if done properly, it has huge benefits.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2019, 08:57:53 AM by Bender »
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2750 on: June 08, 2019, 09:27:14 AM »
Thanks guys :)

And Inky, well done for all those steps! They may seem small, but I believe they're the most important *hugs*
Does that mean you have to stay away from grimdark/more violent books, as they're triggers? Start a thread for recommendations on "calmer" books, I'm sure we'll be able to help without you having to leave fantasy
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!

I'm "She Who Reigns Over Us All In Crimson Cheer", according to Peat!

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2751 on: June 09, 2019, 04:36:44 AM »
Thanks guys :)

And Inky, well done for all those steps! They may seem small, but I believe they're the most important *hugs*
Does that mean you have to stay away from grimdark/more violent books, as they're triggers? Start a thread for recommendations on "calmer" books, I'm sure we'll be able to help without you having to leave fantasy

Ah yeah, that's mostly the case. It's probably why I had so much issues reading grimdark-ish books in the first place too. I'm reading a lot of YA fantasy/ scifi for now, and will stick to lighter/ calmer fantasy books for the time being.

Thank you so much Bea! I'm glad I met great friends like you here, seriously.  :D :D :D

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2752 on: June 16, 2019, 06:00:23 PM »
3 years ago today I was having surgery.
I've been cancer-free for 3 years now :D

I felt the need to celebrate in a special way this year, and so I'm staying in a really nice hotel today: think huge comfy bed, posh afternoon tea, big sofas in the lounge, in medieval-like surroundings :D

I've managed a lot of stuff, I've come a long way - nobody around me mentions it anymore, but sometimes I feel the need to mark the steps.
I hope you don't mind.

The evil illness can be beaten!
I don't care what happens in the future, I'm living each day as it comes :)
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!

I'm "She Who Reigns Over Us All In Crimson Cheer", according to Peat!

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2753 on: June 16, 2019, 08:39:13 PM »
That's wonderful, Bea. Please enjoy yourself, you've earned it.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2754 on: June 16, 2019, 10:22:09 PM »
Awesome news Bea. Happy for you.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

Offline NightWrite

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2755 on: June 17, 2019, 03:34:19 AM »
Have a fun time treating yourself Bea. It marks the anniversary of a step in getting your life back.

Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2756 on: June 27, 2019, 03:19:21 AM »
    I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain.

Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2757 on: June 29, 2019, 04:41:26 PM »
Fell over this and it touched me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr1KX24jzz8

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2758 on: July 01, 2019, 12:37:49 PM »
I was cleaning up my storage yesterday, and I came across an old photo album from 1997, which has been buried in a box for over a decade. Rifling through it was an interesting but uneven experience. There's me as a kid, events and people worth remembering, such as a class trip abroad, and my little sisters as adorable tots.

It ALSO brought up some less fun stuff, like a relationship between two loved ones I had no idea was a mess due to alcoholism. And my father's second wedding, which eventually failed. People I lost contact with. And several photos of a relative now in prison for child molestation.

You really never know what's around the corner, or whether the thing you treasure will stand the test of time.

I'm a little unsure whether I should get rid of some of those photos, or at least stick them behind other ones. But then every time I flip through the album I would notice the empty pockets, and be reminded.

Just what does one do with the ugly parts of the past?
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2759 on: July 01, 2019, 04:58:25 PM »
Just what does one do with the ugly parts of the past?
Well, as a German I'd say acknowledge that they have happened. Try to find out how they happened and what could have prevented them. Make sure that they won't happen again.

The cases that result from bad luck where nothing could have been done already taught you a valuable lesson:
Quote
You really never know what's around the corner, or whether the thing you treasure will stand the test of time.
This implies for me to be grateful for what one has and to cherish happy moments.
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)