September 17, 2019, 02:00:08 PM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 253861 times)

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2625 on: January 14, 2019, 03:19:11 PM »
Oh poor you.
One thing I notice is that after my depression passes I tend to forget the bad times (I remember the absolute worst, but the daily fog just vanishes from my brain...), and so I'm not sure how I handled deadlines at work. I think I didn't do anything too taxing, and took comfort in the routine aspect of work, which of course isn't your case and so doesn't help.

I wonder if an option would be to go work in a café. Nowhere very busy and noisy, but a place with nice comfy seats, free wi-fi, and a small amount of people. Even if you don't talk with them, just the fact of going out and seeing people brings a change to being alone all the time.
Sometimes that helped me.

*hugs*
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Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2626 on: January 14, 2019, 07:45:04 PM »
Did you try (artificial) daylight bathing? It helped my wife with winter depression and 1-2 sessions drastically improved her mood.
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Offline dinogenetics

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2627 on: January 14, 2019, 07:57:24 PM »
ScarletBea - I laughed at this b/c I was wondering why I looked forward to going to work so much recently. "Comfort in the routine," as you put it! There are a few cafes and a library at work (its a college), so I think I'll take your advice and find a comfy chair in a quiet corner after work.

Xiagan - Ohh, this could work! I've done this before with varying affects. Weird how we sometimes forget how to help ourselves...

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2628 on: January 15, 2019, 08:41:22 PM »
Just under a month until my next book goes to the editor, and a lovely cloud of winter depression has settled upon my mind. I find editing to be mentally exhausting (fun, but tiring) and, of course, depression compounds that. Worse when the people who should be supportive aren't even around.

What does everyone else do when they find themselves in these situations - especially with deadlines!? I was extremely lucky over the past three days to review/edit 10k words, but I was alone the entire time and could break up the work with housework. Not exactly sustainable!

At least I have a few years until the doctor recommends a colonoscopy!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful and productive New Year!

My suggestions: exercise; long walks or short fast ones; set up some pleasant moments for yourself - whether it's a coffee at a specific place or a trip to the book store, or whatever you enjoy, get it on the schedule and think about it and look forward to it. Hope your mood lightens.
The Gem Cutter
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Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2629 on: January 16, 2019, 12:09:29 AM »
Just under a month until my next book goes to the editor, and a lovely cloud of winter depression has settled upon my mind. I find editing to be mentally exhausting (fun, but tiring) and, of course, depression compounds that. Worse when the people who should be supportive aren't even around.

What does everyone else do when they find themselves in these situations - especially with deadlines!? I was extremely lucky over the past three days to review/edit 10k words, but I was alone the entire time and could break up the work with housework. Not exactly sustainable!

At least I have a few years until the doctor recommends a colonoscopy!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful and productive New Year!

My suggestions: exercise; long walks or short fast ones; set up some pleasant moments for yourself - whether it's a coffee at a specific place or a trip to the book store, or whatever you enjoy, get it on the schedule and think about it and look forward to it. Hope your mood lightens.

The way I usually deal with this is by trying my best to spend the winter somewhere near the equator

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2630 on: January 18, 2019, 10:11:02 PM »
Is there anything better than cuddles from your nieces? :D

It just gives me a bunch of feel-good emotions...
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2631 on: January 19, 2019, 07:42:34 PM »
Today I had a panic attack :'(
We all went to Canary Wharf to the Docklands museum and then to see the light exhibition around the area. I was already quite tired and there were lots of people, and then we tried to walk through a pathway that was a tunnel. Because of the lights everyone was just not moving, just taking pics, and there were so many people, I suddenly snapped! I started just barging through everyone, pushing to go through, it got hard to breathe, and then I turned a corner, there was a bit of room, I just sat on the ground, catching my breath and crying :'(
I think a guard was there and she was asking me things, but I couldn't really speak, I just managed to say my sister was coming behind...
It was so upsetting, and I was holding my niece's hand as well, I dragged her with me.

I got ok afterwards, but I hadn't realised I was so sensitive to crowds.
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Offline JMack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2632 on: January 19, 2019, 08:29:38 PM »
Wow, so upsetting, @ScarletBea. And I’m sure you felt embarrassed (?), especially with your niece along. I really feel for you. Here are my obsessions:

> Choosing a restaurant seat that gives me the widest possible view. Do not put me on the inside seat of a booth facing the back wall ten feet away.
> Height. I can’t look at movies where actors are (or appear to be) high up. I can sort of do ladders, at least to about 15 feet up.
> Crowds. Hate ‘em. Or stuck behind two people doing the Parchesi double-block down a narrow lane or hallway in slo-mo.

I hope you feel better now and more yourself. Hugs.
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2633 on: January 19, 2019, 10:23:44 PM »
Thanks, Jmack, yes I was really embarrassed afterwards. At the time I just wanted it to be over, for everyone to disappear...
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Offline dinogenetics

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2634 on: January 22, 2019, 02:14:23 PM »
My partner suffers from panic and anxiety attacks. They've been so bad in the past that he's been unable to return to work. I would find them extremely frustrating because, unlike depression, it is much more difficult to feel the onset of an attack and react in the best way to avoid or lessen its impact. At least you know you have a sensitivity to crowds!


Hope you are feeling much better, @ScarletBea!

Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2635 on: January 22, 2019, 06:05:15 PM »
That sounds like a very difficult moment Bea, sorry that happened to you. I will confess that my background has led me to similar moments, but I rarely betray any signs at the time. I will secret myself away and sometimes cry until I forgive myself for being what I am - a man, and nothing more.
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2636 on: January 23, 2019, 06:11:51 PM »
Sorry to hear that Bea.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2637 on: January 24, 2019, 05:52:46 AM »

Awe @ScarletBea no need to be embarrassed!  people were probably just worried for you.
If it makes you feel better once when i was like 14 I got jalapeno pepper juice in my eyes at a tennis game and accidentally went into the women's bathroom when i was trying to wash it out.  Someone from the bleachers saw me and warned people not to go into the women's restroom which of course created a giant crowd trying to see what was happening.  Ultimately I was escorted out of the bathroom by a doctor, my mother and a police woman in front of a crowd of hundreds of people.  That was great.

> Choosing a restaurant seat that gives me the widest possible view. Do not put me on the inside seat of a booth facing the back wall ten feet away.

I do that too!  I have to have a view of all the entrances and exits and preferably my back to a wall.  In part that's because of that time I sat close to the door and was grabbed and used as a hostage at gunpoint for a group robbing a internet cafe.

Offline tebakutis

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2638 on: January 24, 2019, 03:09:11 PM »
> Choosing a restaurant seat that gives me the widest possible view. Do not put me on the inside seat of a booth facing the back wall ten feet away.

I do that too!  I have to have a view of all the entrances and exits and preferably my back to a wall.  In part that's because of that time I sat close to the door and was grabbed and used as a hostage at gunpoint for a group robbing a internet cafe.

Wait, what? WHAT? Dude, how you can just drop that casually like it's a normal thing?

You have the weirdest life. :P

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2639 on: January 24, 2019, 03:11:00 PM »
Wait, what? WHAT? Dude, how you can just drop that casually like it's a normal thing?

You have the weirdest life. :P
You just said what I (everyone?) was thinking ;D
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