April 24, 2019, 07:15:35 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 221793 times)

Offline Lady Ty

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2025 on: December 10, 2017, 12:35:25 AM »
Very sorry to hear about your loss of Rosie, Jmack. It is hard and sad to lose a loved family pet.
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Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2026 on: December 10, 2017, 10:06:09 AM »
Lost our sweet Rosie dog this morning. She’d been ill for a year and lost a lot of weight. Just too much for her finally.

The ground in the backyard is pretty hard, and I’m ten years older than when our last pet died.
It’s starting to snow.

Oh jmack I'm so sorry.

Offline NightWrite

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2027 on: December 10, 2017, 08:59:39 PM »
I'm sorry to hear about Rosie, Jmack. We're here for you the best we can be.

Today I discovered trying for a more minimal lifestyle doesn't reduce all the stress of Christmas. At least, not when faced with a person obsessed with Christmas lights and decor like my mom. We put up her outdoor lights and there so much she doesn't use or need, but won't get rid of. We didn't argue, but there was a feeling of discontent between us almost every time the subject of reducing her stash was brought up. I'm taking small victories where I can as she was willing to get rid of a few things, but there's still so much. She's in her late 60s and struggles with back pain, and I won't always be there to help her and my dad (who struggles with leg pain) put it up or take it down. I worry one day I'll get a call one of them hurt themselves badly over Christmas lights.

Offline JMack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2028 on: December 11, 2017, 10:43:28 AM »
I would like get rid of 50% of what we own, partially because I worry that my kids will have to one day.

Sorry, I sometimes claim my super power (aside from being ridiculously obscure) I’d being cheerful. Not right now. Low energy, tired of many things, worried about my grown kids’ happiness, my Dad’s Alzheimer’s, etc.

The cheerfulness will return. Maybe later today.
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Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2029 on: December 12, 2017, 11:38:51 PM »
I would like get rid of 50% of what we own, partially because I worry that my kids will have to one day.

Sorry, I sometimes claim my super power (aside from being ridiculously obscure) I’d being cheerful. Not right now. Low energy, tired of many things, worried about my grown kids’ happiness, my Dad’s Alzheimer’s, etc.

The cheerfulness will return. Maybe later today.

Awe jmack-- you're certainly not obscure on here and your stories bring me cheer at least!

Every 6 months I do a purge and get rid of half my stuff. I just have a car and a tiny apt so it's pretty easy-- and very liberating. Tho I always throw away stuff I needed like that power cord I didn't know what it was for until I tried to use the electric screwdriver or the external DVD drive I tossed add now I really need it to install drivers on my new computer.... But the goal is to be able to fit everything i own in a car at any given time should I need to

Offline NightWrite

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2030 on: December 13, 2017, 07:40:25 PM »
I've been getting rid of a lot of stuff, but my art supplies and my crafting stuff is the hardest to purge. Progress has been slow in those realms of my life, but still moving forward.

Within the past month or so as the downsizing of my possessions continues, my thoughts have turned towards my bed. It's getting to the point of needing replaced, but I've been questioning if I really want a new bed. I'd have so much more space if I got something like a futon couch or a Japanese futon which I can fold up during the day. One source I looked at sleeps on the floor on nothing but a mattress topper for padding.

Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2031 on: December 13, 2017, 08:37:07 PM »
I did that with sort of a foldable mat from Japan. You end up working on the floor a lot on Indonesia (and in Ecuador my apt bed was basically boards with blankets on it) so when I came back I was just used to it and beds were too soft.

I got a new bed 5 months ago and I have to say it's the best thing ever I sleep way better than I did before-- I didn't realize I was getting bad sleep until I got good sleep. Definitely worth it to have a comfy bed and it's good on your back

Offline J.R. Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2032 on: December 16, 2017, 01:43:10 AM »
Spoiler for Hiden:
Got my restraining order today, for 5 years (more than they usually give), renewable for life.

Offline ultamentkiller

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2033 on: December 16, 2017, 11:14:44 PM »
Congratulations!

Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2034 on: December 17, 2017, 02:03:45 PM »
Glad to hear it Bradley can we take it's the one you needed not the one they wanted?

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2035 on: December 18, 2017, 10:50:17 PM »
I've been noticing something about myself lately, and I'm not sure how to feel about it.

In many ways I am a far more confident and satisfied individual than I was in the fall of 2016, before starting university. I don't know whether to peg it on a feeling of accomplishment from my high grades, the feeling of actually working towards something rather than being stuck in a dead-end job, a very gradual improvement of my writing career or what, but overall I feel far less anxious. Maybe it's just maturity.

On the other hand, I feel like I am a good deal less social than I was last winter. I'm participating less in the university social stuff; partly because the people I connected with the most moved south, and partly because all that noise and bother just isn't for me. I'm also overall spending less time at Grófin.

But I also feel it all bothers me less.

I still have some desire for companionship, and I have a small but reliable group of people to meet with now and then. But I'm also somehow more comfortable being on my own.

I'm having these thoughts now specifically because I went downtown for the end-of-term drinks and merrymaking, only to realise I had no actual interest in being there. I just went back home.
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Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2036 on: December 19, 2017, 01:40:27 AM »
Eli, to me it sounds like you're getting more comfortable in your own skin. It is common among people your age, in my experience, including my own. I can recall feeling some of the same things as my preferences changed and my shift to/away things went along with them.
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2037 on: December 19, 2017, 08:16:00 AM »
Eli, to me it sounds like you're getting more comfortable in your own skin.
I agree with Gem.
You're moving from a huge space of "shoulds" (I should be thinking this, should be acting like that, should be enjoying this, should be doing that...) and focusing instead in what you choose, you like, you enjoy - much healthier!
I learnt that later than you, and sometimes the 'shoulds' still make an appearance, but at least now I'm aware and can contradict them.

I'm happy for you :)
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Offline Lady Ty

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2038 on: December 19, 2017, 10:21:56 AM »
Eli, to me it sounds like you're getting more comfortable in your own skin.
I agree with Gem.
You're moving from a huge space of "shoulds" (I should be thinking this, should be acting like that, should be enjoying this, should be doing that...) and focusing instead in what you choose, you like, you enjoy - much healthier!
I learnt that later than you, and sometimes the 'shoulds' still make an appearance, but at least now I'm aware and can contradict them.

I'm happy for you :)

Couldn't agree more with both these comments and love the way they are both expressed. That change happens to people at different times and for different reasons, sometimes sadly it doesn't happen for some. Very happy you are living in the way you can enjoy, not in the way anyone else expects. :)
“This is the problem with even lesser demons. They come to your doorstep in velvet coats and polished shoes. They tip their hats and smile and demonstrate good table manners. They never show you their tails.” 
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Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2039 on: December 19, 2017, 11:44:10 AM »
Thanks guys.

Yeah, I feel it takes our personality a while to set, and for us to gain confidence in it. In the meantime we have this terrible tendency to take our cues of what we "should" be doing from pop culture and the general direction society pushes us into.

Also, I feel the work I've been doing for the last year to educate people on autism has done a lot for me.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!