July 12, 2020, 01:34:44 PM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 323199 times)

Online Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2940 on: February 01, 2020, 10:28:18 PM »
Thank you. At least he only managed to keep the lies up for a couple of months before his guilty conscience got the better of him, and he had to confess. That was the end November, so it wasn't a great Christmas, New Year and birthday, but it is gradually getting better. I'm less likely to burst into tears at random songs on the radio than I was to start with at least!

I'm going to look into things to do at weekends, but I don't know what I want to do. And as much as I don't like being on my own, I don't like new people that much either, and find small talk excruciating even with people I do know! At least I've got my Monday to Friday 9-5 to get me out of the house.

I know I do want to get a rescue dog, for companionship, as well as getting me out and about, but I want to wait until I've got myself settled in a new house, and I know I can afford it.

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2941 on: February 04, 2020, 10:46:16 AM »
I've been feeling down when I look around me, basically "desillusioned with society" as my therapist put it when I explained what I was feeling.

Today I read this story (which I'd heard before anyway) and it helped, in the sense of what I can do:

"An elderly man was walking along the beach and saw thousands of starfish being washed up on shore by the tide. There was a small boy who was picking them up, one by one, and throwing them back into the water to save them. The elderly man told the young boy “There must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. You won’t really be able to make much of a difference.” The boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the ocean and said, “It mattered to this one!” "

I may not be able to change the entire country/world, but I can still create positive change for some - just take it one starfish at a time :)
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Online Magnus Hedén

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2942 on: February 04, 2020, 11:28:42 AM »
Yes! I also fall easily into the track of "I can't fix the world so what's the point," even though I know that's not the least bit rational. I have to do what I can, from my end. One of the things is staying positive and optimistic. And yes, there are reasons to do that -- plenty of them in fact.

Things aren't quite as doomy and gloomy as they seem. The news are a terrible source of information, for several reasons; they focus on the negative, they report often and repeatedly about things we would do better to just know the end result of, and they fail to report on a lot of the steady upward trends in the world that result in lasting positive change. Things like the fact that extreme poverty has been nearly eliminated in the world. Yep. There are literally scores more of statistics like that one.

I've just finished reading Enlightenment Now by Stephen Pinker, which lays out the case, supported by statistics and reason, that things aren't quite going to hell in a handbasket the way people keep shouting. It's a curious fact that throughout history, according to popular opinion, we've always lived in the end days.

Another good book on the subject -- and a much easier read -- is Factfullness by Hans Rosling.

Another book that changed the way I see the world is The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch, though that took me nearly two months to read the first time because it deals with some pretty big subject matter. But it changed my fundamental philosophy and made me more of an optimist.

I'm not saying that everything is fine and dandy -- that would be delusional -- but I am saying that things are better than they seem and that perspective matters!

Look for the good news. Look for small ways you can make a positive contribution. Keep throwing those starfish back in the ocean!  ;D
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Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2943 on: February 05, 2020, 07:14:04 AM »
You really don't have to fix the world, but make one little part of it just a tiny bit better every day.

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2944 on: February 05, 2020, 03:43:27 PM »
Just came across a slogan from Equinox (a gym):

"Make yourself a gift to the world"

I really liked this. Every good act we do is a gift to the world and in spite of all the bad things happening out there, only presence of good people can help.
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Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2945 on: February 05, 2020, 11:16:51 PM »
I posted along these lines at the end of December. And yes, watching the news and being as overinformed as we are today can give us a cosmic horror-esque sense of hopelessness and smallness. But whining about things being pointless because things look bad when we zoom way out is just childish, and I'm speaking as a former teenager.

We can all do good around us, and it doesn't have to be by achieving great things; we can be good to the people in our lives and do our little part in keeping society civil and fair. Most people will be encouraged to be these things if others are doing them as well.

And it's easy to forget just how enormous a person actually is: It starts with a whole nine months of unpleasant pregnancy, followed by the years-long process people teaching them literally every basic thing, including eating. A person is a universe of thoughts and experiences and memories and dreams and desires and wins and losses. It really isn't a small thing to make things better for even one.
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2946 on: February 19, 2020, 11:05:03 AM »
Note to self: even within your circle, stop trying to carry the world...
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Offline Eclipse

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2947 on: February 22, 2020, 09:29:46 AM »
Car: had to take back to garage it wasn’t fix properly but it’s running okay now. I think I look for a newer car in no rush through.

I’ve got a job too 😀
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Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2948 on: February 22, 2020, 09:58:03 AM »
Congrat Eclipse, happy for you.

I'm in one of those times I feel like life is slipping away and I could not do half the things I wanted to do before I die. Do you feel similar? Like you wasted your life and feel depressed...
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2949 on: February 22, 2020, 02:17:39 PM »
Car: had to take back to garage it wasn’t fix properly but it’s running okay now. I think I look for a newer car in no rush through.

I’ve got a job too 😀
Oh yay - ignore the question in my message then, hehe, I hadn't read this yet.
 :D
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Online Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2950 on: February 22, 2020, 06:35:23 PM »
Congratulations on the new job Eclipse, that's one less thing to worry about.  ;D


I'm trying not to let the worries of the world overwhelm me, there's just SO much to be concerned about at the moment. As trivial as they may seem later in the grand scheme of things, I'm concentrating on my own worries at the moment!

My soon-to-be-ex husband has moved out now. He was coming back for a few nights during the week, as I've never lived on my own before, it was like a transition period. But the more I'm getting used to being on my own, it was starting to feel weird, rather than comforting. So we talked about it, and agreed it was time. There's still lots of his/our stuff in the house, but we'll start sorting that out once it has sold. It's just the sitting in limbo, waiting for a buyer that's keeping me off kilter at the moment.


Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2951 on: February 22, 2020, 08:28:07 PM »
From one introvert to another, let me tell you Cherie that living alone is the BEST thing :D
Just make sure you turn off the inner voice that tells you what you should do or should be doing: there are no 'shoulds', you create your own routine and right things!
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Online Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2952 on: February 22, 2020, 09:49:32 PM »
I'm getting there slowly. I think I'll feel more settled when I've got my house, and everything how I want it, rather than our house full of reminders.

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2953 on: February 23, 2020, 10:19:41 AM »
Car: had to take back to garage it wasn’t fix properly but it’s running okay now. I think I look for a newer car in no rush through.

I’ve got a job too 😀

Congratulations, Eclipse! Now you're working two jobs, that one and the one here as the routine threadcromancer.  ;D

Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2954 on: February 24, 2020, 07:59:00 PM »
I'm in one of those times I feel like life is slipping away and I could not do half the things I wanted to do before I die. Do you feel similar? Like you wasted your life and feel depressed...
You're raising two little kids. Of course you don't have time for all the other things you want to do. ;) But you're not old, it's to early to talk about having wasted your life.
It's possible that stress and sleep deprivation triggered a depressive episode. If it doesn't get better, try to fix stuff (even small things) that annoy you or stress you out. If that doesn't work and the feeling persists, get professional help.
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)