June 01, 2020, 03:20:32 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 312417 times)

Offline ScarletBea

  • Welcome party and bringer of Cake. 2nd-in-Command of the Writing Contest
  • Powers That Be
  • Big Wee Hag
  • *
  • Posts: 12024
  • Total likes: 6863
  • Gender: Female
  • Geeky Reading Introvert
    • View Profile
    • LibraryThing profile
Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2925 on: January 28, 2020, 09:13:39 AM »
Warning: I may be inconsistent ;D

I don't have facebook, twitter or other social media type. When I need to tell someone something, I write them mails or arrange to meet. I also don't like 'general sharers'.
But this forum is different, it's my 'safe space'. It's ridiculous, as it's something open to all, but I have this idea that with the amount of social media around no one will care to spy on a little forum in a corner of the internet ::)

The people here, for a good 5 years now, are true friends, who have seen me through a few of the worst times of my life (it's all on this thread, hehe), and being able to share here and rely on them, it's truly life-saving :-*
I've even met a few of them for real!
I don't have many friends in "real life", and even with them I feel sometimes a bit reluctant to share my issues, I always feel that I shouldn't be complaining, so to be able to write a small post here in my down days is super useful and helpful.
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!

I'm "She Who Reigns Over Us All In Crimson Cheer", according to Peat!

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2926 on: January 28, 2020, 10:12:55 AM »
Hope your kid and financial issues get better soon, isos! *get well soon & supportive emojis*

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2927 on: January 28, 2020, 10:15:40 AM »
I find it's hard to decide how much to share, who with, and when. I always worry about over-sharing and whether I'm going to be seen as attention seeking. Probably because my first reaction to any friend's Facebook posts of things that I think should stay private are along the lines of "something personal just happened, and the first thing you want to do is plaster it online for everyone to see?!"

Does anyone else get this dilemma? Is it an introvert thing, or just a me thing?  :-[

I only shared things that seemed appropriate (Reading related issues, mostly. Definitely not something political or anti-religious) You could never knew when your employer/ prospect employer will be looking into your social media history, after all.

Offline Magnus Hedén

  • High Lord of commas and Grand Master of semicolons
  • Half a King
  • ***
  • Posts: 376
  • Total likes: 298
  • Gender: Male
  • My name is Magnus. I make stuff up.
    • View Profile
    • My Patreon
Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2928 on: January 28, 2020, 11:34:18 AM »
I find it's hard to decide how much to share, who with, and when. I always worry about over-sharing and whether I'm going to be seen as attention seeking. Probably because my first reaction to any friend's Facebook posts of things that I think should stay private are along the lines of "something personal just happened, and the first thing you want to do is plaster it online for everyone to see?!"

Does anyone else get this dilemma? Is it an introvert thing, or just a me thing?  :-[

You're not alone. Sharing stuff on social media has never been my thing, but it works for some people. I think being open and honest with our troubles is important, but that doesn't mean we have to tell everyone all the time.

We're all different and we have to find a way to reach out that works for us as individuals. I'm introverted and very specific about with whom I share more private stuff. But I like spaces like this thread because they present a happy middle-ground; everyone here knows what this place is so there's no reason to feel like you're oversharing. And it's good to vent to a crowd sometimes, even if you don't know them all personally. As long as you know they'll be understanding, which definitely applies here.  :)
You can find stories on my Patreon
I'm also on Twitter and the Book of Faces

Online Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2929 on: January 28, 2020, 11:34:59 AM »
Facebook is a social media site. Using it for any personal connection is now superfluous to how it's used now and probably a mistake. It's just to share pictures. No wonder Instagram is getting more popular.

If unsure, start by giving basic details and once you get comfortable, expand if necessary.

I'm not a sharer and a intensely private person for good or bad...so probably not the best advise giver for this   :-\

"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline Eclipse

  • Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
  • Dragonrider
  • ***
  • Posts: 4819
  • Total likes: 2378
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2930 on: January 28, 2020, 12:59:53 PM »
Car broke down needs new clutch, my mums cousin died at 60 from liver cancer and I’ve been made redundant in my work place.

Luckily I’ve been offered a job trial in a different department of the same firm.


See how it goes.
According to some,* heroic deaths are admirable things

* Generally those who don't have to do it.Politicians and writers spring to mind

Jonathan Stroud:Ptolmy's Gate

Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2931 on: January 28, 2020, 01:04:54 PM »
Car broke down needs new clutch, my mums cousin died at 60 from liver cancer and I’ve been made redundant in my work place.

Luckily I’ve been offered a job trial in a different department of the same firm.


See how it goes.

Don't worry, I'm still around :)
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline ScarletBea

  • Welcome party and bringer of Cake. 2nd-in-Command of the Writing Contest
  • Powers That Be
  • Big Wee Hag
  • *
  • Posts: 12024
  • Total likes: 6863
  • Gender: Female
  • Geeky Reading Introvert
    • View Profile
    • LibraryThing profile
Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2932 on: January 28, 2020, 01:22:22 PM »
Oh Eclipse, so many bad things :(
*hugs*

I hope the trial works out - the fact they offered means they like your work!
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!

I'm "She Who Reigns Over Us All In Crimson Cheer", according to Peat!

Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2933 on: January 29, 2020, 08:24:05 AM »
Hope everything goes well, Eclipse! May all the strength be with you!  :)

Online Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2934 on: January 29, 2020, 03:02:53 PM »
Good news is just around the corner, pal. Keep your chin up!
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2935 on: February 01, 2020, 07:56:07 PM »
I not ashamed to admit I'm not doing so well tonight. I had a whole post written out, but then decided I was oversharing.

Just feeling a bit lonely at the moment.

Offline ScarletBea

  • Welcome party and bringer of Cake. 2nd-in-Command of the Writing Contest
  • Powers That Be
  • Big Wee Hag
  • *
  • Posts: 12024
  • Total likes: 6863
  • Gender: Female
  • Geeky Reading Introvert
    • View Profile
    • LibraryThing profile
Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2936 on: February 01, 2020, 08:48:15 PM »
*big hugs* Cherie
I hope you manage to find a better space... maybe pick up a book you loved, and re-read bits?

And don't ever feel ashamed to share, for us nothing is oversharing, just as much or as little as you need x
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!

I'm "She Who Reigns Over Us All In Crimson Cheer", according to Peat!

Offline Cherie

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2937 on: February 01, 2020, 08:54:02 PM »
The short version is that after 12 years, I was on the receiving end of "I don't love you anymore" conversation a couple of months ago. It's all been almost perfectly amicable, and we're still actually friends. Our house is for sale, but unless we have a viewing at the weekends, he's been spending them elsewhere.

My personal struggle is that I'm not doing well being alone.

Offline ScarletBea

  • Welcome party and bringer of Cake. 2nd-in-Command of the Writing Contest
  • Powers That Be
  • Big Wee Hag
  • *
  • Posts: 12024
  • Total likes: 6863
  • Gender: Female
  • Geeky Reading Introvert
    • View Profile
    • LibraryThing profile
Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2938 on: February 01, 2020, 09:18:51 PM »
Awww poor you.
I'm sure you don't care, but I discovered betrayal after 7 years, lies, lies and more lies. I've been single ever since (10 years ago) and I love my life alone. Might also be why I spend so much time here hehe

I trust you'll end up ok... it just takes ages to recover....
xx
At home in the Fantasy Faction forum!

I'm "She Who Reigns Over Us All In Crimson Cheer", according to Peat!

Online Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2939 on: February 01, 2020, 09:23:16 PM »
Life sometimes sucks. Tough to hear that Cherie! We may not be there, but we are here. Keep posting.

Have you tried joining a class? Some hobby or a reading club or a gym group or something like that.

When I'm alone, I try to avoid being home. Spend time reading in a bar or coffee shop. I'm alone there too but at least the place has activity.

I don't usually recommended this...but a pet helps. But remember it's a commitment stronger than marriage for me. So don't use it for temporary measure.Try volunteering at local animal shelter or such. Pets sure can cheer you up.
 
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6