August 09, 2020, 01:07:04 AM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 327039 times)

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2805 on: August 24, 2019, 01:25:20 AM »
NDA? Some kind of "if I tell you, I got to kill you" stuff?

Who really are you, Bea?  :)
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Offline isos81

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2806 on: August 24, 2019, 06:38:40 AM »
NDA? Some kind of "if I tell you, I got to kill you" stuff?

Who really are you, Bea?  :)

I don't know what NDA is and I'm not sure I want to know ;D
Kallor shrugged. 'I've walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I've commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I've spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes' said Caladan Brood. 'You never learn'

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2807 on: August 24, 2019, 08:26:53 AM »
NDA = non-disclosure agreement
And yes, I didn't know they existed outside famous people/important positions/key companies

I'm very normal, thank you :P ;D
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Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2808 on: August 24, 2019, 10:10:42 AM »
NDA = non-disclosure agreement
And yes, I didn't know they existed outside famous people/important positions/key companies

I'm very normal, thank you :P ;D

Ohh, like those things in spy movies. So do the paper the agreement was written on burst into flames right after you've finished signing it? And if you'd snitched on them would they send The Hitman after you?  ;D

Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2809 on: August 24, 2019, 10:29:16 AM »
They are onto you, codename Scarlet! Abort mission! Abort!

Nothing to see here.  No spy-stuff whatsoever. Nope.  :P
« Last Edit: August 24, 2019, 10:35:13 AM by ArcaneArtsVelho »
Everything I wrote above is pure conjecture. I don't know what I'm talking about.

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Offline Peat

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2810 on: August 24, 2019, 01:06:09 PM »
NDA = non-disclosure agreement
And yes, I didn't know they existed outside famous people/important positions/key companies

I'm very normal, thank you :P ;D

It's a bit ridiculous really how fussy people are getting about this sort of thing. At my company, if a Client Services person leaves for a rival, they're marched out of the building by security the moment they announce it and put on 3 months gardening leave. I'm not Client Services, but I work closely with them, and I'm surprised the knowledge of most of them is seen as that important.

Also, one guy recently said he was leaving for a rival, only for it to later emerge he did no such thing and he just wanted the 3 months gardening leave - sneaky git  :D

Offline Rostum

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2811 on: August 24, 2019, 01:13:54 PM »
NDA's are being abused in the UK to cover up anything from the embarassing 'Yes we hired that idiot' to the criminal 'Yes we hired that idiot and they...' This seems to have started through the application of American law to the Uk through American companies despite it having no bearing.

It is not unusual for someone to be bought off by a company rather than go through the courts and risk the brand damage that is peceived to cause. It is also not unusual for a no contact clause to be implimented regarding co workers as friends are  naturally going to want to know whats going on.

I don't know if thats the case here Bea but I hope you can stay in touch with your friend.

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2812 on: August 24, 2019, 02:27:25 PM »
NDA = non-disclosure agreement
And yes, I didn't know they existed outside famous people/important positions/key companies

I'm very normal, thank you :P ;D

It's a bit ridiculous really how fussy people are getting about this sort of thing. At my company, if a Client Services person leaves for a rival, they're marched out of the building by security the moment they announce it and put on 3 months gardening leave. I'm not Client Services, but I work closely with them, and I'm surprised the knowledge of most of them is seen as that important.

Also, one guy recently said he was leaving for a rival, only for it to later emerge he did no such thing and he just wanted the 3 months gardening leave - sneaky git  :D

I have such NDAs personally too.  :) It's just because I have knowledge of current business deals, pricing, etc and such knowledge would immensely help a competitor in short term. So yeah, can afford a 3m gardening leave for myself when I decide to quit. People in more senior levels have 6-12m leaves per contract as they know the whole strategy.

But it just means I can't discuss business or talk with competitors. Can still stay in touch with friends and colleagues. No reason to leave in a huff unless there is some special HR issues involved.
« Last Edit: August 24, 2019, 02:29:02 PM by Bender »
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

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Offline Peat

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2813 on: August 24, 2019, 04:10:02 PM »
Oh I get why gardening leave exists at higher levels. Just they seem to exist surprisingly low down the food chain at my company - and then don't apply at a seemingly equal one.
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Offline S. K. Inkslinger

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2814 on: September 05, 2019, 08:36:31 AM »
Having to take sleeping pills lately because my worries about the future kept me staying up late. That and the way I'd feel horrible about everything, and seeing the word 'failure' plastered to everything all over again. I mean failure's not new to me, but I wouldn't really like to be stuck in it all my life, that is. Otherwise, I guess I'm just idly passing time, counting the days when I'd just fortunately stop breathing. That'd probably be nicer than what I am now.

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2815 on: September 05, 2019, 09:02:28 AM »
*hugs Inky*
@S. K. Inkslinger, please, be careful, we care about you.
Do you have things like the Samaritans or Mind in your country? (try googling them)

Have you considered seeing a therapist/counselling or are you just on medication? It feels like you really need professional help, more than our nice words can reach.
I'm suggesting it because for me it was a lifeline to make sense of things...
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Offline Magnus Hedén

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2816 on: September 05, 2019, 09:10:27 AM »
Having to take sleeping pills lately because my worries about the future kept me staying up late. That and the way I'd feel horrible about everything, and seeing the word 'failure' plastered to everything all over again. I mean failure's not new to me, but I wouldn't really like to be stuck in it all my life, that is. Otherwise, I guess I'm just idly passing time, counting the days when I'd just fortunately stop breathing. That'd probably be nicer than what I am now.

First of all let me second what Bea just said. I've been there and I got professional help as well. It changed my life for the better.

Now, about failure: I fail all the time. So does everyone else. But modern culture has this unhealthy and frankly, utterly stupid view on failure. It wants us to believe that if we fail, we are that failure. It wants us to believe that failure now means failure forever. That's bullshit. Get that out of your head.

Failure is a natural part of any enterprise. Who the fuck knows how to do something well the first time they tried it? No one, that's who. In order to improve ourselves, failing is the only option. In fact, if you're doing something and not failing, you're doing it wrong. Because that means you're not setting the bar high enough. Only through challenging ourselves do we learn.

Failure is a requirement for success. And you define what success is to you. Don't let others tell you what success is; I think a lot of people waste their lives chasing something and then realising too late it's not what they want (I know I wasted a couple of decades chasing a life and career I had no interest in).

Define your own success, set a goal, accept failure and learn from it. And remember, nothing good is ever easy. The past seven years or so when I've been pursuing my dreams, one of my biggest lessons has been accepting that there's always another challenge around the corner, something I'll have to work hard on. I've learned to cherish this journey because of everything it's teaching me. Sure, there are certain goals I hope to reach, but if I stare myself blind on the milestones in the distance them I'll trip on every rock on the way and I'll never get there.

So don't beat yourself up about the future or about failure. The only way you can change the future is by doing something in the present, and whatever you do carries with it the chance of failure. That's normal. That's life.

The difference between a pro and a beginner is the pro fails better. The only way to get better at failing is with practice. So go out and fail a lot, and you'll find you'll get better at it. All the best! :)
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Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2817 on: September 05, 2019, 11:49:00 AM »
Inkslinger: Talk to people. Both professionals and other. Please do.

And I second everything that has already been said.

Don't worry about "success". I once did it myself, as I think I've already covered. The only people we ultimately have any obligation to please is ourselves. We don't need to please any individual (although if we have children we certainly have a duty towards them), and certainly not some nebulous entity like "society". The one person we can't get away from and must learn to live with is ourselves.

So don't focus on material success, beyond taking care of your basic needs. Focus on what makes you happy, and on being at peace with yourself.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline Bender

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2818 on: September 05, 2019, 03:11:27 PM »
Inky, pills are a slippery slope that you definitely don't want to be on.

It helps to redefine the criteria for success and failure. I used to think like that all the time till I realized I was living by definition defined by others and I didn't fit in. Once I realized that, I set my own definitions on what I want to do with my life and pretty happy post that. Even failures don't bother me as I know I still attempted something I really want to be doing.

It it's something work related, then look for parallel opportunities. If it's life related, then you'll definitely bounce back with a better opportunity.

Keep strong.
"I shall hunt your firstborn children and laugh with glee as I tell them of your death in terrible detail, with many unpleasant adjectives!" - M-Bot

"Who needs science when you have a dragon?" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson in Sharknado 6

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #2819 on: September 05, 2019, 08:26:30 PM »
I just watched a video for university, about an observation Emile Durkheim made about unhappiness in industrialised societies. It seemed relevant to what we've been discussing here, and I recommend a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUcdPS8jmVk

I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!