May 24, 2017, 04:31:55 PM

Author Topic: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel  (Read 88093 times)

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1635 on: May 11, 2017, 02:26:16 AM »
I prefer to think I just need (but like NEED) a vacation (or to somehow fall into enough money to just get caught up on all those half-started projects I've got rolling). A vacay is more expensive than medication, but i honestly think it would do the trick.  And I seriously need to cross some of these things off my list...  If only I were independently wealthy!!!

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1636 on: May 11, 2017, 09:58:09 AM »
That might be true Bradley, but if you don't change the environment, when you come back relaxed from your vacation all your problems will still be there, and soon you'd be in the same position :-\
Meds/talking/changing jobs are harder and slower, but with better results in the long term.

Please take care of you! x
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Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1637 on: May 11, 2017, 11:55:40 AM »
That might be true Bradley, but if you don't change the environment, when you come back relaxed from your vacation all your problems will still be there, and soon you'd be in the same position :-\
Meds/talking/changing jobs are harder and slower, but with better results in the long term.

Yeah. I realised it was time to quit my job and make some major changes in my life two years ago, when I came back to work after a month-long vacation, and was immediately just as sick of it as I had been.
I'll notify your next of kin... that you sucked!

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1638 on: May 11, 2017, 05:02:20 PM »
I had a counselling session today, and it did me the world of good!
I now realise I had been too demanding of myself, thinking everything should be fine by now...

The truth is that I am still going through cancer treatment, it's called hormone therapy, and it brings a lot of nasty side effects, the worst being joint pain, insomnia and fatigue.

I have to stop saying I'm ok to everybody, and relax and be patient. It won't last forever.
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"There is no way to kill someone mercifully. (...) They may claim that their victims did not suffer. They lie. All they may truly say is that the victim's suffering was invisible to them." Robin Hobb ("Fool's Assassin")

Offline Eclipse

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1639 on: May 11, 2017, 05:14:25 PM »
I automatically say I'm okay when asked "how are you" and similar  without thinking and then wondering why i said it when I'm not.
I'm Saloninus, by the way. And I tell lies, from time to time. Which goes to prove the old rule; never entirely trust a man who talks about himself in the third person.

Blue and Gold by K.J Parker

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1640 on: May 11, 2017, 05:40:28 PM »
I automatically say I'm okay when asked "how are you" and similar  without thinking and then wondering why i said it when I'm not.
Exactly, especially my close friends - or managers at work, who also need to know the truth.
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"There is no way to kill someone mercifully. (...) They may claim that their victims did not suffer. They lie. All they may truly say is that the victim's suffering was invisible to them." Robin Hobb ("Fool's Assassin")

Offline Jmack

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1641 on: May 11, 2017, 06:01:51 PM »
I automatically say I'm okay when asked "how are you" and similar  without thinking and then wondering why i said it when I'm not.
Exactly, especially my close friends - or managers at work, who also need to know the truth.

!!!
You bet.
If the managers find that frustrating, they'll have to get over it. (Thank goodness you live in the UK, not here)
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
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Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1642 on: May 11, 2017, 06:40:02 PM »
I had a counselling session today, and it did me the world of good!
I now realise I had been too demanding of myself, thinking everything should be fine by now...

The truth is that I am still going through cancer treatment, it's called hormone therapy, and it brings a lot of nasty side effects, the worst being joint pain, insomnia and fatigue.

I have to stop saying I'm ok to everybody, and relax and be patient. It won't last forever.

I saw an article recently the gist of which was that "self-esteem" is not as impactful on achievement as "self-forgiveness." It makes some sense, since it is less important how well we meet expectations, or own or others', and much more important that we get back up and move on without wasting time and energy with self-recrimination. In short, the Golden Rule has a reflexive component. You certainly wouldn't berate someone else for not being 100% so soon after such a traumatic and taxing series of challenges...
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Bradley Darewood

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1643 on: May 11, 2017, 11:40:13 PM »
I had a counselling session today, and it did me the world of good!
I now realise I had been too demanding of myself, thinking everything should be fine by now...

The truth is that I am still going through cancer treatment, it's called hormone therapy, and it brings a lot of nasty side effects, the worst being joint pain, insomnia and fatigue.

I have to stop saying I'm ok to everybody, and relax and be patient. It won't last forever.

I saw an article recently the gist of which was that "self-esteem" is not as impactful on achievement as "self-forgiveness." It makes some sense, since it is less important how well we meet expectations, or own or others', and much more important that we get back up and move on without wasting time and energy with self-recrimination. In short, the Golden Rule has a reflexive component. You certainly wouldn't berate someone else for not being 100% so soon after such a traumatic and taxing series of challenges...

Wow, that's a really powerful insight.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2017, 06:48:16 AM by Bradley Darewood »

Offline xiagan

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1644 on: May 12, 2017, 06:12:05 AM »
I automatically say I'm okay when asked "how are you" and similar  without thinking and then wondering why i said it when I'm not.
Quote
Feeling scared today
Write down "I am OK"
A hundred times the doctors say
I am OK
I am OK
I'm not OK
From "Electro shock blues" by the Eels.

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Offline The Gem Cutter

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1645 on: May 12, 2017, 03:25:58 PM »
I had a counselling session today, and it did me the world of good!
I now realise I had been too demanding of myself, thinking everything should be fine by now...

The truth is that I am still going through cancer treatment, it's called hormone therapy, and it brings a lot of nasty side effects, the worst being joint pain, insomnia and fatigue.

I have to stop saying I'm ok to everybody, and relax and be patient. It won't last forever.

I saw an article recently the gist of which was that "self-esteem" is not as impactful on achievement as "self-forgiveness." It makes some sense, since it is less important how well we meet expectations, or own or others', and much more important that we get back up and move on without wasting time and energy with self-recrimination. In short, the Golden Rule has a reflexive component. You certainly wouldn't berate someone else for not being 100% so soon after such a traumatic and taxing series of challenges...

I love irony, even when it hurts. And re-reading this I realize I need to apply some of my own advice/observations to myself  ;D
The Gem Cutter
"Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There's always the possibility of a fiasco. But there's also the possibility of bliss." - Joseph Campbell

Offline Eli_Freysson

Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1646 on: May 13, 2017, 08:44:11 PM »
Well, I believe I've managed to expand my social circle.  :)

May not sound like much, but hey, I literally have a brain disability that makes it extra hard.

The couple I met over a game of Cards Against Humanity along with my sister would be happy to have another game next weekend, and a fellow I've come to know through the mental health meeting place thingie is now actively reaching out to meet me for chat and inviting me to game nights.

As I've said before, the need for company is a basic human instinct. So this is a good development.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2017, 10:07:52 PM by Eli_Freysson »
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1647 on: May 13, 2017, 08:50:58 PM »
Yay Eli :D
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Offline Eclipse

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1648 on: May 13, 2017, 10:02:07 PM »
Well done ! I know how hard is meeting new friends :-)
I'm Saloninus, by the way. And I tell lies, from time to time. Which goes to prove the old rule; never entirely trust a man who talks about himself in the third person.

Blue and Gold by K.J Parker

Offline ScarletBea

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Re: Depression, Struggles and Light at the End of Every Tunnel
« Reply #1649 on: May 13, 2017, 10:04:39 PM »
Well done ! I know how hard is meeting new friends :-)
Yep.
The ones I met recently live too far away ;) (I meant Birmingham hehe)

Real life is so difficult ???
« Last Edit: May 13, 2017, 10:15:54 PM by ScarletBea »
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"There is no way to kill someone mercifully. (...) They may claim that their victims did not suffer. They lie. All they may truly say is that the victim's suffering was invisible to them." Robin Hobb ("Fool's Assassin")

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