October 17, 2019, 05:38:39 PM

Author Topic: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?  (Read 117615 times)

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #165 on: October 04, 2012, 10:37:14 PM »
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!
« Last Edit: October 04, 2012, 10:41:51 PM by the_hound »
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Offline ArnoldSideways

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #166 on: October 05, 2012, 12:48:42 AM »
This one though...

(click to embiggen)


... It's just... I don't... What in blue blazes is going on there? What element of that picture was supposed to entice a ten year old role playing nerd into trying out that game book? Was it the chubby blokes skiing? Was it the fact that they had jumped almost a foot and a half off the floor? The fact they were being pursued by enemies who aren't even in the picture, so that I can't tell if they're scary or not? Even by the low standards of choose your own adventure books, that one was pretty damned uninspiring.


* Turns out it was D&D for friendless kids, same as all the others.

I remember that one! I actually owned it... and played it more than once... and yes... I had no friends...  :-[

Offline Nyki Blatchley

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #167 on: October 05, 2012, 04:47:09 PM »
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!

Usually I object to the phrase "you couldn't make it up", as it seems to underestimate human imagination.  With this - you really couldn't make it up.

Offline Bane of Kings

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #168 on: October 05, 2012, 05:18:04 PM »
Some of these may not be strictly fantasy, but they're still awful. Those who visit Peter V. Brett's blog will probably have also found these by now, as well.







The following novel images are taken from this link: http://sobadsogood.com/2012/06/15/10-worst-book-covers-in-the-history-of-literature/







Offline jefGoelz

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #169 on: October 06, 2012, 04:37:20 AM »
This is just all kinds of wrong . . .



I'm terrified of nazis and gnomes.  thanks for this.  I won't be able to sleep for days.
;)

Offline jefGoelz

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #170 on: October 06, 2012, 04:44:16 AM »
The return of an old classic thanks to the output of a POD outfit called Tutis Digital Publishing. Like a thousand other operations, most of their catalogue seems to be books taken from Project Gutenberg and other online public-domain text depositories, dumped into a Microsoft Word template, and then slapped between covers featuring a bit of cheap or free stock art.

http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Tutis%20bashing

Classics include:

A literal take on Turn of the Screw






there is no screw in that picture.  it's a nut.  Is the book called, "Grab the Nut With Two Crescent Wrenches"?  that would be an awesome title.

Offline Nyki Blatchley

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #171 on: October 06, 2012, 03:20:01 PM »
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!

Usually I object to the phrase "you couldn't make it up", as it seems to underestimate human imagination.  With this - you really couldn't make it up.

I'm going to have to retract that.  I checked out Tutis's website and I not only couldn't find any of those covers, I also couldn't find any evidence they've published any of those books.  They appear to be a religious publisher. 

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #172 on: October 06, 2012, 03:39:16 PM »
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!

Usually I object to the phrase "you couldn't make it up", as it seems to underestimate human imagination.  With this - you really couldn't make it up.

I'm going to have to retract that.  I checked out Tutis's website and I not only couldn't find any of those covers, I also couldn't find any evidence they've published any of those books.  They appear to be a religious publisher.  

Check out this Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HJ2L1M

And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!
« Last Edit: October 06, 2012, 03:42:39 PM by the_hound »
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Offline Francis Knight

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #173 on: October 06, 2012, 09:23:07 PM »


And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!

Treasure Island has two men riding bicycles on the front....I must have missed that in the book.
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Offline Fallen One

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Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #174 on: October 06, 2012, 10:28:47 PM »


And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!

Treasure Island has two men riding bicycles on the front....I must have missed that in the book.

 Just because they weren't mentioned doesn't mean they weren't there :P
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Offline Francis Knight

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #175 on: October 06, 2012, 11:29:05 PM »
You mean except the book was set in the 18th century and bicycles hadn't been invented yet? :P
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Offline Nighteyes

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Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #176 on: October 06, 2012, 11:32:59 PM »
You mean except the book was set in the 18th century and bicycles hadn't been invented yet? :P

Typical Westerner, just assumes that the West were the first to invent everything.  How do you know that the bicycle wasn't originally invented by a tribe in the Pacific isles, and Sir Winifred Bicycle (who I assume was the supposed inventor of the bicycle) didn't just rip the idea of them whilst out on a gap year between University and returning home to learn how to run the family estates?
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Offline Ur-Quan

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #177 on: October 06, 2012, 11:58:29 PM »
Bicycle was probably not from a personal name, as the title is quite clearly latin-ish in origin.

Offline Nighteyes

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Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #178 on: October 07, 2012, 12:17:19 AM »
Bicycle was probably not from a personal name, as the title is quite clearly latin-ish in origin.

Ok Sir Winifred Raleigh - who stole the bi-cycling-contraction as he named it from the Pacific Islanders.
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Offline Francis Knight

Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
« Reply #179 on: October 07, 2012, 02:14:53 PM »
Are you trying to tell me there were tribal bicycles in Treasure Island? I know I read it a long time ago, but damn I didn't think my memory was that bad!
My tongue has been in my cheek for so long, I've eroded a new mouth.


Duellists Trilogy (as Julia Knight) coming soon from Orbit!

http://www.juliaknight.co.uk/