Fantasy Faction

Fantasy Faction => Fantasy Book & Author Discussion => Topic started by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 08:14:47 AM

Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 08:14:47 AM
I found a really good website: http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk - actually... it is a terrible website. It is a collection of all  the worst Sci-Fi/Fantasy covers of all time.

Thought it would be a bit of fun to post your worst Fantasy Cover... here is mine!

(http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/cracked/jp/bucholz/assassin_.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 08:53:18 AM
WORSE!
(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/isingthe.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 09:02:48 AM
This is pretty awful:

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/This-Creeping-Evil.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Zefiris on January 28, 2011, 11:22:42 AM
(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Winning-Colors.jpg)

I love this!

Everything from the title to the image showing a weird Polo player on a horse along with starships.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 28, 2011, 01:20:00 PM
Awesome topic!  I'm off to check out that website. :)  I love the covers you guys posted!  So bad!  :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Zefiris on January 28, 2011, 01:49:21 PM
Cracked had an article about this actually.

http://www.cracked.com/article_14790_the-best-worst-fantasy-science-fiction-book-covers.html

Enjoy :)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 03:13:52 PM
Love this one!!!
(http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/cracked/jp/bucholz/ff22.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 03:23:21 PM
I could look through these all day... oh wait... I have! :D

(http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/cracked/jp/bucholz/raven3.jpg)

(http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/cracked/jp/bucholz/valley_worm.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Funky Scarecrow on January 28, 2011, 05:47:22 PM
Love this one!!!
(http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/cracked/jp/bucholz/ff22.jpg)


That one is all kinds of awesome! When I was about ten years old, I remember seeing that in the children's section of the local library and almost passing out with excitement at what must lie within*. That one can be excused, for playing to its target audience's hind brain. This one though...

(click to embiggen)
(http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/7332/lonewolfdopeycoverart.th.jpg) (http://img585.imageshack.us/i/lonewolfdopeycoverart.jpg/)

... It's just... I don't... What in blue blazes is going on there? What element of that picture was supposed to entice a ten year old role playing nerd into trying out that game book? Was it the chubby blokes skiing? Was it the fact that they had jumped almost a foot and a half off the floor? The fact they were being pursued by enemies who aren't even in the picture, so that I can't tell if they're scary or not? Even by the low standards of choose your own adventure books, that one was pretty damned uninspiring.


* Turns out it was D&D for friendless kids, same as all the others.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Tiffany Kysis Tackett on January 28, 2011, 05:57:06 PM
Hahaha, there are so many horrible one!  I think I may die laughing.

But seriously, I think a good chunk of the titles are even worse than the coverart itself.  Which is depressing.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 28, 2011, 06:05:30 PM
(click to embiggen)
(http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/7332/lonewolfdopeycoverart.th.jpg) (http://img585.imageshack.us/i/lonewolfdopeycoverart.jpg/)

... It's just... I don't... What in blue blazes is going on there? What element of that picture was supposed to entice a ten year old role playing nerd into trying out that game book? Was it the chubby blokes skiing? Was it the fact that they had jumped almost a foot and a half off the floor? The fact they were being pursued by enemies who aren't even in the picture, so that I can't tell if they're scary or not? Even by the low standards of choose your own adventure books, that one was pretty damned uninspiring.


* Turns out it was D&D for friendless kids, same as all the others.

Could pass as Wookie Skiing (A Wii title to be perhaps?) :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 28, 2011, 07:05:26 PM
(click to embiggen)
(http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/7332/lonewolfdopeycoverart.th.jpg) (http://img585.imageshack.us/i/lonewolfdopeycoverart.jpg/)

... It's just... I don't... What in blue blazes is going on there? What element of that picture was supposed to entice a ten year old role playing nerd into trying out that game book? Was it the chubby blokes skiing? Was it the fact that they had jumped almost a foot and a half off the floor? The fact they were being pursued by enemies who aren't even in the picture, so that I can't tell if they're scary or not? Even by the low standards of choose your own adventure books, that one was pretty damned uninspiring.


* Turns out it was D&D for friendless kids, same as all the others.

Could pass as Wookie Skiing (A Wii title to be perhaps?) :D

I would totally buy that game! :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: missoularedhead on January 29, 2011, 08:43:02 AM
there's a site (http://worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/readers_covers.htm (http://worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/readers_covers.htm)) that is mostly parody romance covers that makes me laugh very hard.  But there's a couple of fantasy covers there too…(http://worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/spaceship.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: pornokitsch on January 29, 2011, 01:15:27 PM
Heh, I collect old paperbacks and (slightly embarrassing) have many of those, including THE CREEPING EVIL.

Here's one of my favorites:
(http://thecarnivoreproject.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8345295c269e20133ec7e6a69970b-320wi)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Zziz on January 29, 2011, 06:57:15 PM
After combing through the posts here, I think you guys are confused.

The original poster wanted the worst fantasy covers, not the best ones!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 18, 2011, 06:07:59 AM
Damn you Bastards!  Just pissing myself with laughter.

These all make The Great Hunt look good!

(http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~karlh/book2/bigcover.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 18, 2011, 10:05:07 AM
I can't get over this one:

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/unicornvari.jpg)

It's not the unicorn playing chess I object to, but the smug douche bag he's playing against.

And isn't Roger Zelazny one of the legends of sci fi?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 18, 2011, 10:58:44 AM
This is beyond words!  LOVE IT!

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/deathwatch.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 18, 2011, 11:13:50 AM
This one actually made a bit angry, as this is an incredible novella.  What the hell were they thinking when they designed this cover?  I've read a Song for Lya twice, and for sure there weren't any scenes with flying lips - it's a story of two telepaths investigating religious suicides on an ancient world and is an absolutely beautiful sci fi masterpiece. 

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/songforlya.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 18, 2011, 11:21:23 AM
What are the leprechaun and the teddy bear doing? 

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/warlockinsane.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: quippley on March 18, 2011, 01:36:24 PM
wow, i really don't know what to say...

i think the titles are worse than some of the covers!


and to think all this crap got published.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Malkier on March 18, 2011, 02:01:34 PM
I just want to weigh in to say: these are hilarious! Good to know sff covers have made some progress over the years  :)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: missoularedhead on March 18, 2011, 03:51:52 PM
Did anyone else notice the cheap digital watch the 'smug douche' is wearing in the Zelany cover? Wow.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Minesril on March 18, 2011, 08:29:05 PM
Did anyone else notice the cheap digital watch the 'smug douche' is wearing in the Zelany cover? Wow.

Aw, i was about to say that!  You beat me.

I think it's a little unfair to complain about bad pictures on books from the seventies/eighties...movie pictures were just as bad!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Noona on March 18, 2011, 09:12:32 PM
I bet they put the teddy bear and the leprechaun in to see if anyone would notice :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Dragonmuse on March 19, 2011, 12:47:20 AM
ROFL
I am almost tempted to scan in a pic of my first published book. But no.. it would vie with The Warlock Insane cover.. wonder if it was the same artist??
These are great. Love to laugh at someone else's expense, but I know it can be soul destroying having a cover you aren't happy with.
The hooded men and the saucy heroines look great by comparison!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 19, 2011, 04:59:15 AM
Did anyone else notice the cheap digital watch the 'smug douche' is wearing in the Zelany cover? Wow.

Notice the 'smug douche' is all dressed up in modern dress.  Zelazny wrote quite out there sci fi stories with fantasy elements.  I suspect this is a scene from a very good story about a man from the modern day being sent into a fantasy world to play a master unicorn at chess, just the drawing itself is terrible.

Can anyone shed a light? 
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Dornish First Sword on March 19, 2011, 05:40:15 AM
A little research on that turned up a hilarious story about that book actually Hound.

Apparently it is a collection of shorts but the title story developed from a conversation between G.R.R.M and Zelazny in which he told Martin he was writting for two anthology collections one with the theme being stories set in a bar and the other about unicorns. When he told Martin about this he replied that there was a collection coming up dealing with chess and suggested he write he a story about playing chess against a unicorn in a bar so that he could sell it three times. Apparently Zelazny took the joke in stride and ended up with a hugo for it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 19, 2011, 06:19:21 AM
Wow, anyone else really want to buy this book now including the terrible jacket design?

Good job, DFS!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Minesril on March 19, 2011, 09:18:53 AM
There's loads on ABE - for most of them it says, 'image not available'...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: kevinjamesbreaux on March 22, 2011, 07:13:48 PM
The Creeping Evil made me LOL very hard. I made it my PC's wall paper too. Thanks!!!!


Kevin James Breaux
@kevinbreaux
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on March 22, 2011, 07:21:51 PM
Okay this might not be the worst, but I think perhaps it could use a redraw.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51-oYxbBV1L._SL500_AA300_.jpg)

I just finished this book.  It was good!  A modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast set in turn of the 20th century San Francisco.  The beast of this story is half wolf and the little dragon on the table is supposed to be a salamander.  Yeah...  The cover needs a bit of work I think. XD
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 23, 2011, 06:18:09 AM
Certainly an interesting one ^^^
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on March 23, 2011, 08:48:13 AM
I think the creeping evil is my favourite too :) Well... My favourite worst... worst favourite... erm... you know what I mean right? :D

And Autumn2May couldn't understand why people would be embarrassed reading Fantasy novels on the tube... look at these covers A2M... LOOK AT THEM! :P

This guy would be too embarrassed to hold almost any of these :P

(http://www.ladyapps.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/geek2.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ibeeeg on March 23, 2011, 10:27:32 PM
haha...this thread is hilarious.

I was glad to see The Great Hun was postedt. My gosh, can any series of covers be worse than The Wheel of Time! It is hard to believe those book  sold as much as they have with those horrid covers!  Wish they were more in line with the e-book covers.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 24, 2011, 06:28:58 AM
haha...this thread is hilarious.

I was glad to see The Great Hunt was posted. My gosh, can any series of covers be worse than The Wheel of Time! It is hard to believe those book  sold as much as they have with those horrid covers!  Wish they were more in line with the e-book covers.

Finally someone agrees with me!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: missoularedhead on March 24, 2011, 06:31:47 AM
there's some artist, have no idea who, who makes all of the people on his covers look like trolls…he did this cover:  (http://www.patriciamckillip.com/Books/Covers/hed1.jpg)

Who is this, and why do they keep giving him covers?!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 24, 2011, 01:02:36 PM
I like fantasy, but nothing makes me want to read that book at all ^^^^
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: pornokitsch on March 24, 2011, 04:11:33 PM
I think the creeping evil is my favourite too :) Well... My favourite worst... worst favourite... erm... you know what I mean right? :D

I really have a copy of that unfortunate book around somewhere... will do a hi-res scan when I find it, so people can make wallpapers.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: missoularedhead on March 24, 2011, 04:53:17 PM
I like fantasy, but nothing makes me want to read that book at all ^^^^

And it's really too bad, because it's actually a pretty good series. I'd perhaps put it down more in the YA category, but it's solid, and original. But that cover? UGH!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on March 25, 2011, 10:39:42 AM
I think the creeping evil is my favourite too :) Well... My favourite worst... worst favourite... erm... you know what I mean right? :D

I really have a copy of that unfortunate book around somewhere... will do a hi-res scan when I find it, so people can make wallpapers.

The hills have eyes (and they have hands and creep too)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Gothos on March 25, 2011, 11:23:40 AM
Damn you Bastards!  Just pissing myself with laughter.

These all make The Great Hunt look good!

(http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~karlh/book2/bigcover.jpg)

I never got why they allowed him to do the WoT covers, they are by far the worst simply because they are among the best books. Terry Brooks has some really terrible covers for the Shannara books as well.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on April 28, 2011, 08:27:41 AM
Found this in an Indonesian book shop:

(http://parcelbuku.com/image/cache/data/EYE%20OF%20THE%20WORLD-500x500.jpg)

Robert Jordan goes Crouching Tiger on our arses!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: pornokitsch on April 28, 2011, 11:30:13 AM
Wow. That looks like the movie poster for The Last Airbender!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Drying Ink on April 28, 2011, 04:22:14 PM
Certainly wouldn't look out of place...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on May 05, 2011, 10:56:41 AM
(http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/cracked/jp/bucholz/B10330.jpg)

I can't see myself wanting to read about giants who seem to have a frog as a prince anytime soon... but if you do... the book above may be for you! :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on May 05, 2011, 11:59:13 AM
Also the title is very dodgy ....

Is it a silent 'H'?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on May 05, 2011, 01:54:54 PM
Wow, very bizarre...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ibeeeg on May 05, 2011, 01:58:57 PM
Wow, very bizarre...

Bizarre, indeed, and a little creepy.


Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Rhevian on May 05, 2011, 02:04:10 PM
It was retitled "Servants of the Wannek" when all of Vance's books were re-edited and reissued in the "Vance Integral Edition" a few years back. It's not Vance's best work, but it is a fun pulp scifi adventure, with his usual detailed description of exotic cultures both human and alien.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 16, 2012, 05:24:28 PM
So any new entries?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 17, 2012, 12:29:59 PM
I think I silenced everybody with my book cover... until proved otherwise... I am the

'Bad Cover Finder Champion' !!!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 17, 2012, 12:42:02 PM
I raise you, playing Chess with a Dragon!

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ChessWithADragon.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 17, 2012, 09:36:14 PM
In the future there will be time travelling sheep!!!! BAAAAA BAAA BAAAA!

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Compton.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on January 17, 2012, 09:56:44 PM
Cos nothing says Sci Fi like a sheep


Although in a Secret Writing Santa thing I did last Christmas (everyone gives a story prompt, then names are pulled out of a hat and you have to write a story for the person) part of my prompt I gave was for a 'surprise sheep'. The sheep in my story-gift were a surprise, and seriously creepy!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: FrnchDp on January 17, 2012, 10:02:06 PM
Cos nothing says Sci Fi like a sheep
...


Tell that to Dolly the sheep! ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: DDRRead on January 17, 2012, 11:02:25 PM
This is just all kinds of wrong . . .

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NnnqL1DV6gc/TiqH6WQod4I/AAAAAAAAAJs/R1l1uJkynu8/s400/ittlepeople.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on January 18, 2012, 03:36:38 AM
I read some John Christopher when I was a teen, but thankfully never stumbled across that one.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Richard Ford on January 18, 2012, 10:04:01 AM
 :D Servants of the Wankh!!!! :D :D :D That's made my day!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 10:06:14 AM
This is just all kinds of wrong . . .

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NnnqL1DV6gc/TiqH6WQod4I/AAAAAAAAAJs/R1l1uJkynu8/s400/ittlepeople.jpg)

Nazi Gnomes!!!!!  Genius!!! We have a new winner!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 10:19:50 AM
So Autumn2May has set the new writing challenge already for February, write a story about what happens when a giant penis lassoes the Earth with a rainbow:   

And please give it your best shot as this is a genuine fear that keeps many of us up till late at night worrying about it

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ESP_Worm.jpg)


Though clearly the two giant pieces of chalk that are orchestrating the whole thing is a stretch of the imagination too far!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 10:21:04 AM
This guy literally talks out of his arse!

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Connoisseurs.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:26:42 PM
I am bored so please humour me:

This guy is not just cool but also awesome!

(http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/Worst%20Book%20Covers-5.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:28:07 PM
Cool concept to write a book about William Shatner! but who is the guy on the cover? Scotty?


(http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/Worst%20Book%20Covers-4.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:29:27 PM
Has the guy gone forward in time or the aeroplane gone back in time?

(http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/Worst%20Book%20Covers-16.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:30:24 PM
BOOBIES!!!!

(http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/Worst%20Book%20Covers-22.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:31:32 PM
Finally the sequel to The Tiger Who Came To Tea!

(http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/Worst%20Book%20Covers-20.JPG)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on January 18, 2012, 12:33:20 PM
That's not so much a terrible cover as an appalling title/anthology concept. Fantasy erotica with added gambling???

Re "The Far Arena", I'm guessing aeroplane, judging by the quote on the cover. Premise appears to be "protagonist escapes time-warped plane crash only to be attacked by naked gladiators" *boggles*
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:34:32 PM
Re "The Far Arena", I'm guessing aeroplane, judging by the quote on the cover. Premise appears to be "protagonist escapes time-warped plane crash only to be attacked by naked gladiators" *boggles*

God damn it, someone has beaten me to the publishers yet again!  Another WIP scrapped!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on January 18, 2012, 12:35:46 PM
Did someone say naked gladiators?

*fetches baby oil*
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 12:38:05 PM
Did someone say naked gladiators?

*fetches baby oil*

I'm fairly certain Gladiators generally were naked.  Contrary to Hollywood, Ancient Romans and Greeks did most sports including fighting in the buff.  I think they might be given some armor though, but not much. 
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on January 18, 2012, 12:38:42 PM
I was so born in the wrong millennium :(
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on January 18, 2012, 01:06:17 PM
Mind you, I'm very glad that "gymnasium" no longer has its literal meaning! All those fat sweaty bodies *barfs*
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ken on January 18, 2012, 01:18:03 PM
These are classic! Shame they don't make covers like they used to anymore.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on January 18, 2012, 01:27:55 PM
Mind you, I'm very glad that "gymnasium" no longer has its literal meaning! All those fat sweaty bodies *barfs*

Oh I don't know, if they went to the gymnasium a lot, they wouldn't be fat :D And there's nowt wrong with a bit of fresh sweat.

Brb, need a little lie down before my brain overheats.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on January 18, 2012, 02:07:41 PM
Sweat is OK in moderation and in a warm climate. Clammy cold sweats or red-faced-and-sweating-buckets, not so much.

Quick, someone post a dreadful cover and get us back on topic. Please.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on January 18, 2012, 02:34:40 PM
How about a sneezing Minotaur?

(http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n83/spinynorman_2006/dayofthemin-768x1024.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on January 18, 2012, 02:47:19 PM
Cos nothing says Sci Fi like a sheep
...


Tell that to Dolly the sheep! ;)

Or electric sheep, of course.

I remember reading Day of the Minotaur back in the 70s - I may still have it somewhere.  I seem to recall it being a good read, but I'd agree about the cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 03:04:55 PM
Sweat is OK in moderation and in a warm climate. Clammy cold sweats or red-faced-and-sweating-buckets, not so much.

Quick, someone post a dreadful cover and get us back on topic. Please.

TBH I'm surprised you got so fixated with naked gladiator when we have butt faced man! I mean what happens when he gets a cold?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Hierath on January 18, 2012, 04:27:52 PM
Never mind the cover, I think "Bumsider" is a serious contender for worst title ever...  I'd be tempted to buy "Let's Do It in my Spaceship Tower" though ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 05:22:05 PM
I've goota stop this but:

Robert Silverberg's famous tale of a Juggler

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/lordcastle.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 05:23:50 PM
and here, not objecting to the cyborg feline, more to the fact he is staring pensively into the distance.... what is he contemplating?  How much simpler life was when he simply chased mice rather than blowing them up with his firearms?

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/wars-768x1024.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 18, 2012, 05:29:20 PM
That's not so much a terrible cover as an appalling title/anthology concept. Fantasy erotica with added gambling???


Overlord will be pissed with you.  That's going to be the concept of the Fantasy Faction anthology.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 18, 2012, 05:40:39 PM
So Autumn2May has set the new writing challenge already for February, write a story about what happens when a giant penis lassoes the Earth with a rainbow:   

And please give it your best shot as this is a genuine fear that keeps many of us up till late at night worrying about it

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ESP_Worm.jpg)


Though clearly the two giant pieces of chalk that are orchestrating the whole thing is a stretch of the imagination too far!

I think you have far too much free time my friend. XD  Also my husband said that your idea would be an awesome topic for the writing challenge, after which I hit him. ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on January 25, 2012, 01:05:56 PM
Found a really ugly book cover too! A nearly antique one, you can say. It's the first translation into German from Raymond Feist's Magician:Apprentice (Riftwar) from the late Eighties.
It's even more ugly if you know the book (I guess most of you do) and I have no idea why they used a cover like this. Luckily the next edition(s) got really cool covers...

(http://i.imgur.com/OQ1RZ.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 25, 2012, 02:49:50 PM
Found a really ugly book cover too! A nearly antique one, you can say. It's the first translation into German from Raymond Feist's Magician:Apprentice (Riftwar) from the late Eighties.
It's even more ugly if you know the book (I guess most of you do) and I have no idea why they used a cover like this. Luckily the next edition(s) got really cool covers...

(http://i.imgur.com/OQ1RZ.jpg)

That is AWFUL!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on January 26, 2012, 10:24:30 PM
And for such a great book, you have to wonder if the people who marketed it had actually read it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on January 27, 2012, 02:45:02 PM
And for such a great book, you have to wonder if the people who marketed it had actually read it.
Probably not. There isn't even a fool at court...

Overlord, so I win (for now)? ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 27, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
Found a really ugly book cover too! A nearly antique one, you can say. It's the first translation into German from Raymond Feist's Magician:Apprentice (Riftwar) from the late Eighties.
It's even more ugly if you know the book (I guess most of you do) and I have no idea why they used a cover like this. Luckily the next edition(s) got really cool covers...

(http://i.imgur.com/OQ1RZ.jpg)

That is AWFUL!


What the f*ck???? That is mad!  Why is Pug holding a tarot card?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Funky Scarecrow on January 27, 2012, 11:34:41 PM
It's not Pug, it's Toyah. As for why she has a tarot card? It's a mystery.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Jeni on January 27, 2012, 11:53:08 PM
It's not Pug, it's Toyah. As for why she has a tarot card? It's a mystery.

heehee....maybe the card is the clue she has been searching for??
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: wolfking on January 28, 2012, 02:43:00 AM
(http://chzsetphaserstolol.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/sci-fi-fantasy-wtf-sci-fi-book-covers-the-last-martian.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ChrisMB on January 28, 2012, 04:24:56 PM
(http://chzsetphaserstolol.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/sci-fi-fantasy-wtf-sci-fi-book-covers-the-last-martian.jpg)

ALL HE WANTS IS TO BE LOVED!!!!

The sad thing is, that in today's market that alien would be the sympathetic tragic misunderstood character, and the human with the raygun would be the villain shooting our defenseless hero whilst in the middle of tickling his lady-friend.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on January 28, 2012, 10:50:31 PM
But what exactly is she wearing?  :-\
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on January 29, 2012, 02:17:15 AM
Two tea cups and a chemise
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on January 29, 2012, 08:37:14 AM
They look like very large limpets to me - but I would agree re the chemise.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Gandledore on January 29, 2012, 09:27:42 AM
I like a lot of these!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on January 29, 2012, 04:48:58 PM
They look like very large limpets to me - but I would agree re the chemise.

Yes, more like limpets than tea-cups.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 29, 2012, 05:33:13 PM
(http://chzsetphaserstolol.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/sci-fi-fantasy-wtf-sci-fi-book-covers-the-last-martian.jpg)

I bet an original of this is worth a fortune now.  And this is pure kitsch, I love it!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on January 31, 2012, 04:22:11 PM
I'm allowed to be confused by this, right?

(http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2011/Comedy_Goldmine/bad_scificovers/Zellus_01.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 31, 2012, 04:29:03 PM
I'm allowed to be confused by this, right?

(http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2011/Comedy_Goldmine/bad_scificovers/Zellus_01.jpg)

It's not confusing.  The thunder god is riding his evil cat and chasing after the good guys (bad guys?) who are trying to escape in their airplane/space ship/helicopter, while being dive bombed by an eagle.  And I'm thinking the cat is going to catch them.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on January 31, 2012, 04:31:37 PM
I'm allowed to be confused by this, right?

(http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2011/Comedy_Goldmine/bad_scificovers/Zellus_01.jpg)

It's not confusing.  The thunder god is riding his evil cat and chasing after the good guys (bad guys?) who are trying to escape in their airplane/space ship/helicopter, while being dive bombed by an eagle.  And I'm thinking the cat is going to catch them.

Oh, it all makes so much sense now, thanks! ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on January 31, 2012, 10:48:21 PM
They look like very large limpets to me - but I would agree re the chemise.
Maybe they're giant alien limpets.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Funky Scarecrow on January 31, 2012, 10:57:01 PM
If this thread has taught me anything, and it's debatable whether I ever learn in the first place, it's that I miss the kitchen sink approach to SF&F book covers.

'Dammit, Bob, I don't care that the book is a sober meditation on the destructive power of nuclear weaponry* and it doesn't have helicopter-planes, Graeco-Roman gods, eagles or giant cats in it, I want to see them on the cover. The kids eat that shit up.'

* Note: I do not know what this book is about. If it is about giant kitties, helicopter-planes, thunder gods and eagles, though, I wants it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 31, 2012, 11:13:42 PM
I knew Mom was lying when she said she gave away my childhood teddy to a charity shop!  He is riding the galaxies on a magical horse!


(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hokaspokas.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 31, 2012, 11:20:56 PM
I also adore covers when they get the sizing of the font wrong - cos dra-gon on two separate lines looks so bloody good!  And in the future dragons will fire lazer beams out of their mouths! Dr Evil would be chuffed.

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/dragon.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 01, 2012, 04:23:15 AM
I knew Mom was lying when she said she gave away my childhood teddy to a charity shop!  He is riding the galaxies on a magical horse!


(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hokaspokas.jpg)
I better not show that to my wife, she'll want a teddy that looks just like that one.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: wolfking on February 01, 2012, 10:34:05 AM
I knew Mom was lying when she said she gave away my childhood teddy to a charity shop!  He is riding the galaxies on a magical horse!


(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hokaspokas.jpg)

Lol...wow. Nothing beats a teddy bear Napoleon.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on February 02, 2012, 12:24:39 AM
What stands out most for me from this thread is that most of these books are by very fine authors.  Just goes to show... um, something.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on February 02, 2012, 02:35:34 AM
What stands out most for me from this thread is that most of these books are by very fine authors.  Just goes to show... um, something.

That covers nowadays are so much better?

Cos,well, they are?


'course, we'll look back in twenty years and say 'OMG what crap!'
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 02, 2012, 08:35:34 AM
What stands out most for me from this thread is that most of these books are by very fine authors.  Just goes to show... um, something.

That covers nowadays are so much better?

Cos,well, they are?


'course, we'll look back in twenty years and say 'OMG what crap!'

Covers today are boring and generic
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on February 02, 2012, 12:53:23 PM
What stands out most for me from this thread is that most of these books are by very fine authors.  Just goes to show... um, something.

That covers nowadays are so much better?

Cos,well, they are?


'course, we'll look back in twenty years and say 'OMG what crap!'

Covers today are boring and generic

I agree.  There are some really good ones, but most of them are pretty much the same.  Maybe you should resurrect the awesome book cover thread too. ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xinpheld on February 02, 2012, 02:26:36 PM
Even as a kid, I knew this was a horrible book cover. Luckily, the story made up for it.

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/thewarriors.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Johnmc on February 02, 2012, 09:03:41 PM
I knew Mom was lying when she said she gave away my childhood teddy to a charity shop!  He is riding the galaxies on a magical horse!


(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hokaspokas.jpg)
I better not show that to my wife, she'll want a teddy that looks just like that one.

To be fair, the Hokas are described in the book as looking like teddy bears. That's kind of the point, even the Napoleon thing.

It might be bad from a marketing standpoint, but it does (fairly accurately; I don't think they had horses, but they might have had human poinies)r epresent the book.

I should give the Hoka stories another spin and see of the Suck Angel has gotten to them in the intervening years....
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 02, 2012, 09:53:46 PM
What stands out most for me from this thread is that most of these books are by very fine authors.  Just goes to show... um, something.

That covers nowadays are so much better?

Cos,well, they are?


'course, we'll look back in twenty years and say 'OMG what crap!'

Covers today are boring and generic
You could have a point there, hound. I wonder if 20 - 30 years from now people will look back and ask 'What's with the hooded guy?'
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 04, 2012, 11:20:23 AM
I'm guess that this is a prequel written just for the French market where Harry, Ron and Hermione go back in time and join the crew of the Mayflower?


(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51819dyF6gL._SL500_AA300_.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:34:14 AM
Rand fights the Shadow with a light sabre?

(http://images.wikia.com/wot/images/0/00/TDRCover.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:35:43 AM
Wheel of Time meets Little House on the Prairie


(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1b/WoT04_TheShadowRising.jpg/200px-WoT04_TheShadowRising.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:37:29 AM
Can't even begin to fathom what scene from the book this is supposed to be....

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/aa/WoT05_TheFiresOfHeaven.jpg/200px-WoT05_TheFiresOfHeaven.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:39:04 AM
Rand's chest is expanding at such a rate that all the buttons are popping off his shirt


(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9b/WoT06_LordOfChaos.jpg/200px-WoT06_LordOfChaos.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:40:53 AM
Again what scene?

(http://simania.co.il/bookimages/covers79/798444.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:42:34 AM
Odd horse riding here...

(http://ia700808.us.archive.org/zipview.php?zip=/32/items/olcovers136/olcovers136-L.zip&file=1365527-L.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:44:05 AM
Who is the guy in the hat supposed to be???????????????????????????


(http://simania.co.il/bookimages/covers72/724742.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 05, 2012, 11:45:32 AM
Mouthy Aes Sedai...


(http://redditorschoice.com/img/wheel-time-book-11-knife-dreams_2586_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 12, 2012, 08:23:13 PM
Some commentary on The Wheel of Time covers:


http://linuxmafia.com/~pam/cover_art.html#COS (http://linuxmafia.com/~pam/cover_art.html#COS)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: EDB77 on February 12, 2012, 08:29:47 PM
Who is the guy in the hat supposed to be???????????????????????????

A displaced gaucho?!

(http://wander-argentina.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/WA-sanantonio-gauchofest1.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 12, 2012, 08:36:20 PM
Worryingly I think its supposed to be Mat, but what the hell is he wielding?  In the books he uses a stave ....
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 12, 2012, 08:41:26 PM
Up and coming guy at American publishing company:  Hey, lets publish these hii-lar-ious books by this Brit, Teddy Pratt Shed.
Rich publishing dude: OKAY.  but what are these god awful covers???  Who the fuck is Josh Kirby?  Ged Darrell Sweet on the blower and get him to give it a reeel cover:


(http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3201/3146642089_3da50c4a77_z.jpg?zz=1)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: graveyardhag on February 12, 2012, 09:48:11 PM
Worryingly I think its supposed to be Mat, but what the hell is he wielding?  In the books he uses a stave ....
It is Mat, and thats his Ashendarei  ;D

Sweet just wasn't very good at people, excellent and scenery and buildings though.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 12, 2012, 10:31:34 PM
He also did good horses. His people always seemed strangely out of perspective.
There was also a Walter Velez cover on a Discworld book, Moving Pictures I think, Walter Velez was a good cover artist, but the marriage of Pratchett and Kirby was just perfect. I do like the Kidby covers, but Kirby's will always remain the best in my mind. 
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Noona on February 12, 2012, 11:00:56 PM
What's up with the lynx? Is that supposed to be Greebo? And I'm confused by the wizardking in the middle. :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 12, 2012, 11:10:32 PM
What's up with the lynx? Is that supposed to be Greebo? And I'm confused by the wizardking in the middle. :P


Whatever Sweet smoked, I want some!  I bet he would have given The Road a Mills and Boonstastic cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 12, 2012, 11:12:23 PM
He also did good horses. His people always seemed strangely out of perspective.
There was also a Walter Velez cover on a Discworld book, Moving Pictures I think, Walter Velez was a good cover artist, but the marriage of Pratchett and Kirby was just perfect. I do like the Kidby covers, but Kirby's will always remain the best in my mind. 

Both Kidby and Kirby were brilliant.  And yes, Sweet did do good horses, so begs the question, why not confine himself to doing covers for books about horses?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: EatthePen on February 12, 2012, 11:24:26 PM
Can't even begin to fathom what scene from the book this is supposed to be....

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/aa/WoT05_TheFiresOfHeaven.jpg/200px-WoT05_TheFiresOfHeaven.jpg)

In fairness, there are no fires of heaven in this book (I got quite annoyed about that), so the art isn't the only problem with the cover...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 13, 2012, 03:58:02 AM
He also did good horses. His people always seemed strangely out of perspective.
There was also a Walter Velez cover on a Discworld book, Moving Pictures I think, Walter Velez was a good cover artist, but the marriage of Pratchett and Kirby was just perfect. I do like the Kidby covers, but Kirby's will always remain the best in my mind. 

Both Kidby and Kirby were brilliant.  And yes, Sweet did do good horses, so begs the question, why not confine himself to doing covers for books about horses?
Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar books would have been perfect for Sweet, they were mostly about the Companions. I gave my wife a Discworld calendar for Christmas which is all Kidby art and it's a lovely thing.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: graveyardhag on February 13, 2012, 04:59:01 AM
I love the Paul Kidby artwork,  so much so that I went and spent good money on The Art of Discworld. Absolutely beautiful pictures.

Not a fan of the Kirby artwork. It's way too busy and and all his people (and other humanoids) are knobbly. Knobbly everywhere! Normaly, people don't have lumps and bumps all over them!

@Elfy
But... could you imagine what they would look like if he drew the heralds? I just had a quick look through my collection and it looks like every one of them also has a herald shown. Sometimes it's only a companions head on a shield and a full body person.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 10, 2012, 02:58:50 PM
Not sure if this was overlord or Autumn2May who found this cracker for Windhaven:


(http://members.multimania.nl/arek01/5/ma_Youll_Paradox_Windhaven.jpg)

So its a book about flying people? Boring... lets put a leggy brunette on the cover,. and have a sinister guy with a giant forehead approach her from behind looking like he is about to smack her over the head with his guitar and drag her back to his cave...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on March 10, 2012, 03:22:06 PM
A leggy brunette with 80s hair, at that!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on March 10, 2012, 05:18:26 PM
Not sure if this was overlord or Autumn2May who found this cracker for Windhaven:

So its a book about flying people? Boring... lets put a leggy brunette on the cover,. and have a sinister guy with a giant forehead approach her from behind looking like he is about to smack her over the head with his guitar and drag her back to his cave...

That was me! ;D  I was looking for a classic cover. :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Funky Scarecrow on March 10, 2012, 10:02:11 PM
The Barbarella cosplay meet up had been going so well, too; right up until that jerk showed up dressed as Kvothe. There's always one who ruins it, isn't there?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Funky Scarecrow on March 11, 2012, 07:24:25 PM
Presented without comment:

(http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/9545/piersanthonysplitinfini.jpg)

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 11, 2012, 07:58:40 PM
Presented without comment:

(http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/9545/piersanthonysplitinfini.jpg)



Young boy is raised by a Unicorn called Socks, who trains him to be a warrior (though he will be buggered once he comes upon a swordsman with a decent swing), and they go on a mission to "split infinity" and place adjectives after nouns.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Silence on March 11, 2012, 08:23:41 PM
There is surely a full year's worth of caption competitions right here in this thread...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on March 11, 2012, 09:25:31 PM
Does that horn count as a foil or an epée?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on March 12, 2012, 06:36:48 AM
Sabre, surely, since unicorns are cavalry.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mark Lawrence on March 12, 2012, 08:12:31 AM
I wonder if the unicorn is sufficently flexible to sheath its weapon. That would be the best conclusion to a terrible cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on March 12, 2012, 10:59:54 AM
You're a sick puppy, Lawrence :)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: surlyoldwriter on March 12, 2012, 04:13:13 PM
Presented without comment:

(http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/9545/piersanthonysplitinfini.jpg)



Young boy is raised by a Unicorn called Socks, who trains him to be a warrior (though he will be buggered once he comes upon a swordsman with a decent swing), and they go on a mission to "split infinity" and place adjectives after nouns.
Please tell me this is a troll.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on March 12, 2012, 04:22:17 PM
Presented without comment:



Young boy is raised by a Unicorn called Socks, who trains him to be a warrior (though he will be buggered once he comes upon a swordsman with a decent swing), and they go on a mission to "split infinity" and place adjectives after nouns.
Please tell me this is a troll.

You must not have seen the rest of the thread. ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: pornokitsch on March 14, 2012, 02:12:58 PM
Young boy is raised by a Unicorn called Socks, who trains him to be a warrior (though he will be buggered once he comes upon a swordsman with a decent swing), and they go on a mission to "split infinity" and place adjectives after nouns.

Sadly, that's not *too* far off from the actual book... this is Piers Anthony, after all.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on March 20, 2012, 09:02:41 PM
Found two new candidates!

(http://i.imgur.com/V5Bbq.jpg)

and

(http://i.imgur.com/BpjFO.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on March 20, 2012, 09:35:42 PM
Found two new candidates!

(http://i.imgur.com/V5Bbq.jpg)

and

(http://i.imgur.com/BpjFO.jpg)

I miss Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson books!  Though did you alter the titles or is there a website that does this?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Richard Ford on March 20, 2012, 10:10:16 PM
Found two new candidates!

(http://i.imgur.com/V5Bbq.jpg)

and

(http://i.imgur.com/BpjFO.jpg)

Today I was mostly discussing titles for my new novel with my editor. Where the hell were you when I needed you?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on March 20, 2012, 10:21:02 PM
Philip Jose Farmer didn't write either of those, did he? Putting his Riverworld work aside, he tended to 'explore' some 'interesting' themes and A Feast Unknown was actually published by a publisher that specialised in erotica, obviously not realising exactly what genre it was. 
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on March 21, 2012, 02:51:29 PM
I miss Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson books!  Though did you alter the titles or is there a website that does this?
They're altered? Well, that explains more than it doesn't. Couldn't believe them to be real but was too lazy to google... Thanks. :)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Jeni on April 09, 2012, 02:35:55 AM
(http://paperbackgallery.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/zelazny_dreammaster_ace1670.jpg)

I found this truly scary covered book (havent read it yet so I dont know if it is actually that wierd) on my bookshelf today...I think I was given it years ago by one of my older cousins and was put off by the cover!!!

It's not fantasy though, it's sci-fi, but still hideous nonetheless.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Dashgar on April 09, 2012, 05:39:00 PM
Who is the guy in the hat supposed to be???????????????????????????


(http://simania.co.il/bookimages/covers72/724742.jpg)

It's quite clearly Mat, the Ashendarai spear should be a dead giveaway.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: DDRRead on April 28, 2012, 11:11:51 AM
Has anyone seen the movie Gentlemen Broncos? I watched it last night and the opening credits reminded me of this thread. Very funny movie by the way.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on April 28, 2012, 06:43:23 PM
No, but it was recently recommended to me.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on May 02, 2012, 10:35:57 AM
I'm just going to link to this, as it's probably NSFW: http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/outerspace_sex_orgy_the_first_sex_science_fiction (http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/outerspace_sex_orgy_the_first_sex_science_fiction)

As you may be able to tell from the title :D

Ofc the first question in my mind was 'Where the heck are they keeping their air? And why is the alien wearing tinsel?'
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AshKB on May 02, 2012, 11:04:18 AM
I'm just going to link to this, as it's probably NSFW: http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/outerspace_sex_orgy_the_first_sex_science_fiction (http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/outerspace_sex_orgy_the_first_sex_science_fiction)

As you may be able to tell from the title :D

Ofc the first question in my mind was 'Where the heck are they keeping their air? And why is the alien wearing tinsel?'

My first reaction was, "that's not outer space, her breasts are showing clear signs of gravity!"

My second reaction was, "WHAT THEY NEED PRESSURIZED SUITS THEIR BLOOD IS GOING TO BOIL OUT OF THEIR SKIN OR SOMETHING, WHAT THIS IS NOT SEXY!"

This comment was brought to by too many documentaries on space when I was a small, impressionable child.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on May 02, 2012, 07:16:24 PM
Ofc the first question in my mind was 'Where the heck are they keeping their air?

Where the sun doesn't shine? 8)

My second reaction was, "WHAT THEY NEED PRESSURIZED SUITS THEIR BLOOD IS GOING TO BOIL OUT OF THEIR SKIN OR SOMETHING, WHAT THIS IS NOT SEXY!"

This comment was brought to by too many documentaries on space when I was a small, impressionable child.

Unless, of course, they're on a planet with normal pressure but a poisonous atmosphere.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AshKB on May 02, 2012, 09:44:58 PM

Unless, of course, they're on a planet with normal pressure but a poisonous atmosphere.


Then they wouldn't be in outer space! They'd be on another planet.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on May 05, 2012, 08:42:51 PM
I'm just going to link to this, as it's probably NSFW: http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/outerspace_sex_orgy_the_first_sex_science_fiction (http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/outerspace_sex_orgy_the_first_sex_science_fiction)

As you may be able to tell from the title :D

Ofc the first question in my mind was 'Where the heck are they keeping their air? And why is the alien wearing tinsel?'

...am I the only one disturbed that it's an "illustrated edition"? Why is that necessary!?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on October 04, 2012, 10:34:57 PM
The return of an old classic thanks to the output of a POD outfit called Tutis Digital Publishing. Like a thousand other operations, most of their catalogue seems to be books taken from Project Gutenberg and other online public-domain text depositories, dumped into a Microsoft Word template, and then slapped between covers featuring a bit of cheap or free stock art.

http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Tutis%20bashing (http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Tutis%20bashing)

Classics include:

A literal take on Turn of the Screw

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yquZUsax3R0/UGpQrdFuzoI/AAAAAAAALn8/O3E9m35AEMY/s1600/Henry+James+%286%29.jpg)

Space marines in Jack London novels

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_hvV0JHPYX_I/Sx2Ut-TX18I/AAAAAAAAGw8/2wrEJO7sGJQ/s1600-h/royo+nicked+%282%29.jpg)

Bikes on Treasure Island
(http://[url=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_hvV0JHPYX_I/Sx2aRGaqfnI/AAAAAAAAGyM/KDN50KoDQJM/s1600-h/8132051130.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg][/url])

John Adams on Easter Island

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hvV0JHPYX_I/Sx2aTl7yu7I/AAAAAAAAGyU/AvWys8QZbto/s1600-h/8132038487.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

Sherlock Holmes in Space
(http://[url=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_hvV0JHPYX_I/SpXFS9K_hfI/AAAAAAAAGGA/gItED5dq_ag/s1600-h/doyle1.jpg][/url])


And the last just left me speechless
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QLjXIH5h5UQ/UGpQOvu8g9I/AAAAAAAALnM/ff4dmesE-Es/s1600/orczy.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on October 04, 2012, 10:37:14 PM
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ArnoldSideways on October 05, 2012, 12:48:42 AM
This one though...

(click to embiggen)
(http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/7332/lonewolfdopeycoverart.th.jpg) (http://img585.imageshack.us/i/lonewolfdopeycoverart.jpg/)

... It's just... I don't... What in blue blazes is going on there? What element of that picture was supposed to entice a ten year old role playing nerd into trying out that game book? Was it the chubby blokes skiing? Was it the fact that they had jumped almost a foot and a half off the floor? The fact they were being pursued by enemies who aren't even in the picture, so that I can't tell if they're scary or not? Even by the low standards of choose your own adventure books, that one was pretty damned uninspiring.


* Turns out it was D&D for friendless kids, same as all the others.

I remember that one! I actually owned it... and played it more than once... and yes... I had no friends...  :-[
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on October 05, 2012, 04:47:09 PM
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!

Usually I object to the phrase "you couldn't make it up", as it seems to underestimate human imagination.  With this - you really couldn't make it up.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Bane of Kings on October 05, 2012, 05:18:04 PM
Some of these may not be strictly fantasy, but they're still awful. Those who visit Peter V. Brett's blog will probably have also found these by now, as well.

(http://www.petervbrett.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/tumblr_m5nqhzcG3Y1qz93ceo1_r1_500.jpeg)

(http://www.petervbrett.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Knocked-Up-Satans-Daughter.jpeg)

(http://www.petervbrett.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Godsfire.jpeg)

The following novel images are taken from this link: http://sobadsogood.com/2012/06/15/10-worst-book-covers-in-the-history-of-literature/ (http://sobadsogood.com/2012/06/15/10-worst-book-covers-in-the-history-of-literature/)

(http://cdn.sobadsogood.net/wp-content/uploads/10-worst-book-covers-in-the-history-of-literature-4.jpg)

(http://cdn.sobadsogood.net/wp-content/uploads/10-worst-book-covers-in-the-history-of-literature-9.jpg)


Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: jefGoelz on October 06, 2012, 04:37:20 AM
This is just all kinds of wrong . . .

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NnnqL1DV6gc/TiqH6WQod4I/AAAAAAAAAJs/R1l1uJkynu8/s400/ittlepeople.jpg)

I'm terrified of nazis and gnomes.  thanks for this.  I won't be able to sleep for days.
;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: jefGoelz on October 06, 2012, 04:44:16 AM
The return of an old classic thanks to the output of a POD outfit called Tutis Digital Publishing. Like a thousand other operations, most of their catalogue seems to be books taken from Project Gutenberg and other online public-domain text depositories, dumped into a Microsoft Word template, and then slapped between covers featuring a bit of cheap or free stock art.

http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Tutis%20bashing (http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Tutis%20bashing)

Classics include:

A literal take on Turn of the Screw

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yquZUsax3R0/UGpQrdFuzoI/AAAAAAAALn8/O3E9m35AEMY/s1600/Henry+James+%286%29.jpg)




there is no screw in that picture.  it's a nut.  Is the book called, "Grab the Nut With Two Crescent Wrenches"?  that would be an awesome title.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on October 06, 2012, 03:20:01 PM
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!

Usually I object to the phrase "you couldn't make it up", as it seems to underestimate human imagination.  With this - you really couldn't make it up.

I'm going to have to retract that.  I checked out Tutis's website and I not only couldn't find any of those covers, I also couldn't find any evidence they've published any of those books.  They appear to be a religious publisher. 
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on October 06, 2012, 03:39:16 PM
Sadly just the first and last link work! Damn! But go back and peruse the website, you will love it, promise!

Usually I object to the phrase "you couldn't make it up", as it seems to underestimate human imagination.  With this - you really couldn't make it up.

I'm going to have to retract that.  I checked out Tutis's website and I not only couldn't find any of those covers, I also couldn't find any evidence they've published any of those books.  They appear to be a religious publisher.  

Check out this Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HJ2L1M (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HJ2L1M)

And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509 (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509)

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on October 06, 2012, 09:23:07 PM


And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509 (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509)

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!

Treasure Island has two men riding bicycles on the front....I must have missed that in the book.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on October 06, 2012, 10:28:47 PM


And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509 (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509)

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!

Treasure Island has two men riding bicycles on the front....I must have missed that in the book.

 Just because they weren't mentioned doesn't mean they weren't there :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on October 06, 2012, 11:29:05 PM
You mean except the book was set in the 18th century and bicycles hadn't been invented yet? :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on October 06, 2012, 11:32:59 PM
You mean except the book was set in the 18th century and bicycles hadn't been invented yet? :P

Typical Westerner, just assumes that the West were the first to invent everything.  How do you know that the bicycle wasn't originally invented by a tribe in the Pacific isles, and Sir Winifred Bicycle (who I assume was the supposed inventor of the bicycle) didn't just rip the idea of them whilst out on a gap year between University and returning home to learn how to run the family estates?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ur-Quan on October 06, 2012, 11:58:29 PM
Bicycle was probably not from a personal name, as the title is quite clearly latin-ish in origin.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on October 07, 2012, 12:17:19 AM
Bicycle was probably not from a personal name, as the title is quite clearly latin-ish in origin.

Ok Sir Winifred Raleigh - who stole the bi-cycling-contraction as he named it from the Pacific Islanders.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on October 07, 2012, 02:14:53 PM
Are you trying to tell me there were tribal bicycles in Treasure Island? I know I read it a long time ago, but damn I didn't think my memory was that bad!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on October 07, 2012, 03:20:53 PM
Are you trying to tell me there were tribal bicycles in Treasure Island? I know I read it a long time ago, but damn I didn't think my memory was that bad!

 It was probably edited out, because of the Raleigh-Bicycle conspiration. It's said that it was mr. Bicycle (don't let 'em fool you, it's a real name) who started all of it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on October 07, 2012, 05:27:25 PM
Are you trying to tell me there were tribal bicycles in Treasure Island? I know I read it a long time ago, but damn I didn't think my memory was that bad!

 It was probably edited out, because of the Raleigh-Bicycle conspiration. It's said that it was mr. Bicycle (don't let 'em fool you, it's a real name) who started all of it.

Quote from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treasure_Island#Original_manuscript
Half of Stevenson's original manuscripts are lost, including those of Treasure Island, The Black Arrow and The Master of Ballantrae. Stevenson's heirs sold Stevenson's papers during World War I; many Stevenson documents were auctioned off in 1918.[31]
I think this strongly supports the Raleigh-Bicycle conspiration.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on October 07, 2012, 06:33:20 PM
Actually, the bicycle was invented by Sir Walter Raleigh in 1604.  Unfortunately, when he tried to demonstrate it, he ran over James I's foot and was sent straight to the Tower.  Later, James offered him a pardon, conditional on travelling to the Amazon to find the mythical Golden Unicycle tribe, who'd mastered the art of riding their golden unicycles while reciting the text of dozens of 19th century novels that hadn't even been written yet.  Unfortunately, Raleigh failed to find them (see the word mythical above) and James was unimpressed with his gift of a quad bike.  This was the real reason why Raleigh was executed.

Check out this Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HJ2L1M (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008HJ2L1M)

And for the whole range:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509 (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Atutis+classics&keywords=tutis+classics&ie=UTF8&qid=1349534509)

They seem to have folded the classic book publishing line but they did really exist!

Oooooookay.  They do seem to have quite a few proper ones, but maybe that's just random luck.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 28, 2013, 11:34:52 PM
Any new 'bad covers'?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on January 28, 2013, 11:39:16 PM
This

(http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6165/6180834824_3f1141a300.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JonRock411 on January 28, 2013, 11:41:49 PM
This

(http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6165/6180834824_3f1141a300.jpg)

Is it just me or is the kid the creepiest thing on that cover?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 28, 2013, 11:52:47 PM
The kid is a ginger spawn of Satan who has used psychic powers to turn the Flash camp.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on January 29, 2013, 12:01:01 AM
There are no words for this

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/fantasyg/robertasprinmythionimprobable1.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Jeni on January 29, 2013, 12:34:48 AM
I loved the Myth books when I was younger. Although I don't remember the covers being quite that tragic!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Hierath on January 29, 2013, 09:12:40 AM
I looked at that Robert Holdstock one too quickly and read the title as "The Felch"....
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on January 29, 2013, 02:12:39 PM
There are no words for this

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/fantasyg/robertasprinmythionimprobable1.jpg)

 It doesn't look that bad, in my opinion, specially if it's supposed to be a comedy :$
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 06:02:38 PM
Even as a kid, I knew this was a horrible book cover. Luckily, the story made up for it.

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/thewarriors.jpg)

Just scrolling back, and noticed this one.......is that Chuck Norris!???

Also, haven't laughed so hard in a long while. Love this thread! :)

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on January 29, 2013, 06:12:10 PM

 Aaah, the eighties, what would we have done without them? :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nyki Blatchley on January 29, 2013, 06:35:44 PM

 Aaah, the eighties, what would we have done without them? :P
Had to go straight from the seventies to the nineties?  8)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 06:39:38 PM

 Aaah, the eighties, what would we have done without them? :P

Uhm, skipped my birth which would be somewhat problematic :s

Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 06:52:19 PM
Highwayman & Landover, magic kingdom. A man in a zorro mask, and a dog wearing glasses. Def the weirdest/worst covers In my collection.

Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 07:00:04 PM
Tapatalk doesn't like image uploads. Let me try again!! (http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1166673242l/15547.jpg) and (http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n15/n79427.jpg)

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 29, 2013, 07:02:52 PM
Does the Terry Brooks feature a dog wearing glasses?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 07:04:51 PM
Does the Terry Brooks feature a dog wearing glasses?

Yup - I actually quite liked that book. The sequels were fluff though.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 29, 2013, 07:12:46 PM
Does the Terry Brooks feature a dog wearing glasses?

Yup - I actually quite liked that book. The sequels were fluff though.

Was that a deliberate pun?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 07:13:55 PM
Does the Terry Brooks feature a dog wearing glasses?

Yup - I actually quite liked that book. The sequels were fluff though.

Was that a deliberate pun?

Mmmmmmmmaybe.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on January 29, 2013, 08:16:05 PM

 What is wrong with the cover for "the highwayman"?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JonRock411 on January 29, 2013, 08:26:13 PM

 What is wrong with the cover for "the highwayman"?

Besides the fact his feet make him look like he's about to fall over and the awkward way he's holding his sword?  Not much that I can see.     Though I'd have picked a different color for "A Novel Of Corona",  it blends in with the background and is almost unreadable.    Also probably make the "Includes an all-new Drizzt short story" a bit bigger.
Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 08:30:00 PM
When I bought it (charity store random find) I assumed it was printed mid 80s, cheesy face-mask. Holding the sword out in front for no apparent reason, and the really mute dull colouring of the cover in general.
When I found it was 2004, I couldn't believe it.
I just don't like it much, seems cheesy and not very attractive to me. - what caught my eye was the author not the art. I'd certainly not have picked it up otherwise.

Could just be me though. :
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JonRock411 on January 29, 2013, 08:33:41 PM
When I bought it (charity store random find) I assumed it was printed mid 80s, cheesy face-mask. Holding the sword out in front for no apparent reason, and the really mute dull colouring of the cover in general.
When I found it was 2004, I couldn't believe it.
I just don't like it much, seems cheesy and not very attractive to me. - what caught my eye was the author not the art. I'd certainly not have picked it up otherwise.

Could just be me though. :

Wait, the mask is cheesy?  I don't see it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on January 29, 2013, 08:46:05 PM
Besides the fact his feet make him look like he's about to fall over and the awkward way he's holding his sword?  Not much that I can see
Holding the sword out in front for no apparent reason
I think it looks like he is trying to stay away from the bloody end of it. Perhaps he is afraid of soiling that amazing mask and/or outfit. And to his grave misfortune, his sword arm also seems to be missing the sleeve. Added exposure. Greater likely hood of having a stray drip strike his flesh. *gasp*

Or perhaps he is waiting for a stray bird (or random person) to fall from the sky and skewer itself to be added to the corpses behind him? Hard to tell. Perhaps I should read the book to find out :)

(Actually, I dont think its all that bad. Just fun to try to piece together exactly what is going on) :)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nestat on January 29, 2013, 09:24:19 PM
The Highwayman cover is terrible. Imagine picking it up and having to read something by bloody RA Salvatore when you were expecting...

(http://www.waterstones.com/wat/images/nbd/l/978074/759/9780747590583.jpg)
Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 09:30:55 PM
Its just one of the 'worst' in my collection., I don't like the mask personally, if it was just across the eyes zoro style, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad? My cover is really mute & washed out, the picture I posted is much brighter and far more clarity in it than mine, which doesn't make it so bad. On my copy you can't see the bodies. They just look like grassy bumps by the side of the road/central figure. The tree's are all blurred and the cover is mostly a weird shade of pea-green & yellow-brown. Perhaps my copy just has a sucky cover??

I dunno.

The landover cover is fantastic, a dog with glasses, a guy who looks about 300, and a random man kneeling with what looks like a very large necklace (probably costume jewellery) in a 'never gonna let go' two-handed grip of doom. Oh, and the dog appears to be making notes.
I'm assuming those are tents behind them? :

I've not read either book yet, so just going on the covers. I have a few old Goodkinds, the covers on those are pretty awful too, but they're too high on the shelf for me to reach - my manthing has to get them down for me if/when I want anything from that shelf.


Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 09:34:25 PM
The landover cover is fantastic, a dog with glasses, a guy who looks about 300, and a random man kneeling with what looks like a very large necklace (probably costume jewellery) in a 'never gonna let go' two-handed grip of doom. Oh, and the dog appears to be making notes.
I'm assuming those are tents behind them? :

You're actually spot on - tha's exactly what's happening.

I still stand by the fact that it's a good read.  :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 29, 2013, 09:37:30 PM
The Highwayman cover is terrible. Imagine picking it up and having to read something by bloody RA Salvatore when you were expecting...

(http://www.waterstones.com/wat/images/nbd/l/978074/759/9780747590583.jpg)

HERE'S JOHNNY!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 09:45:12 PM
The landover cover is fantastic, a dog with glasses, a guy who looks about 300, and a random man kneeling with what looks like a very large necklace (probably costume jewellery) in a 'never gonna let go' two-handed grip of doom. Oh, and the dog appears to be making notes.
I'm assuming those are tents behind them? :

You're actually spot on - tha's exactly what's happening.

I still stand by the fact that it's a good read.  :D

Wow, I'm curious now. Its been on my TBR for the last few years, it just never seems to get to the top or find its way onto the 'priority' reads. *sigh*
Now I know there is a note taking, spectacle wearing dog involved it is most definitely moving onto 'priority' instead of mid-way down the tbr. - any book with a note-taking, spectacle wearing dog deserves reading pronto!!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 09:49:58 PM
The landover cover is fantastic, a dog with glasses, a guy who looks about 300, and a random man kneeling with what looks like a very large necklace (probably costume jewellery) in a 'never gonna let go' two-handed grip of doom. Oh, and the dog appears to be making notes.
I'm assuming those are tents behind them? :

You're actually spot on - tha's exactly what's happening.

I still stand by the fact that it's a good read.  :D

Wow, I'm curious now. Its been on my TBR for the last few years, it just never seems to get to the top or find its way onto the 'priority' reads. *sigh*
Now I know there is a note taking, spectacle wearing dog involved it is most definitely moving onto 'priority' instead of mid-way down the tbr. - any book with a note-taking, spectacle wearing dog deserves reading pronto!!

My thoughts exactly.  ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on January 29, 2013, 10:07:42 PM
Landover was Terry Brooks' attempt at doing 'funny fantasy'. I believe it proved quite popular. I didn't like it much. I read the first one and it sent me scurrying back to Terry Pratchett.
Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 10:13:04 PM
I love Pratchett. I read a book that tried something similar once, I forget the author and title. I remember it wasn't very good, was very short and involved some guy turning into a king or something of something or other, that he didn't want to be. Oh, and he was in a car accident.  - yeah, it was memorable *eyeroll*

Landover seems like its reasonably original, and sounds amusing so I'll give it a fair shot.

Pratchett will always be my favourite though. I desperately want a death of rats tattoo <3

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on January 29, 2013, 10:15:10 PM
The Walter Velez cover for Making Movies was all kinds of awful. Kirby and after his untimely death, Kidby are the only people who should be allowed to do Pratchett covers.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 10:18:01 PM
Landover was Terry Brooks' attempt at doing 'funny fantasy'. I believe it proved quite popular. I didn't like it much. I read the first one and it sent me scurrying back to Terry Pratchett.

Hmmm - it has funny moments, but it's also quite dark - it deals with alcoholism and depression. I found it a refreshing read from Brooks. Like I say - the sequels take it too far but Magic Kingdom For Sale/Sold was really good I thought.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 29, 2013, 10:19:56 PM
The Walter Velez cover for Making Movies was all kinds of awful. Kirby and after his untimely death, Kidby are the only people who should be allowed to do Pratchett covers.

Agreed!  The new 'adult' covers are fairly artsy & alright if you like that sort of thing, I have Equal Rites in that style, but I much prefer Kirby & kidby's covers. I think my favourite Cover is 'unseen academicals' just because I love the librarian. :)

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on January 29, 2013, 10:49:59 PM
New contender;

(http://i.imgur.com/AonBGUj.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 10:51:10 PM
New contender;

(http://i.imgur.com/AonBGUj.jpg)

We have a winner!

Amazing.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 29, 2013, 10:52:27 PM
New contender;

(http://i.imgur.com/AonBGUj.jpg)

We have a winner!

Amazing.

And that is why Peter Jackson is a talentless hack.  This is what the Hobbit should have looked like.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on January 29, 2013, 10:55:16 PM
New contender;


We have a winner!

Amazing.



And that is why Peter Jackson is a talentless hack.  This is what the Hobbit should have looked like.

They look like Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on January 29, 2013, 10:57:09 PM
What the fluff is wrong with Gollum? That thing is terrifying!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JonRock411 on January 29, 2013, 11:07:04 PM
The rest of the series isn't that much better

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1988b.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 29, 2013, 11:09:32 PM
The rest of the series isn't that much better

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1988b.jpg)

Quick comments:

FOTR - Pedophile Gandalf!

TTT - Conclusive proof Legolas and Gimli were gay!

TROTK - Well Tolkien was a devout Catholic!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Charlemagne on January 29, 2013, 11:12:46 PM
The rest of the series isn't that much better

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1988b.jpg)

That is actually the copy of The Fellowship of the Ring that I have. No joke.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JonRock411 on January 29, 2013, 11:14:44 PM
I remember why that Hobbit seems so familiar,  that was the copy the school had us check out and read when the Hobbit was assigned in eighth grade.

And while we're on the subject of bad Tolkien covers

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1981b.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nestat on January 29, 2013, 11:57:03 PM
They look like Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant!

Aah, beat me to it! Though I think it's Ricky Gervais and Mackenzie Crook (Gareth).
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 30, 2013, 12:10:13 AM
New contender;

(http://i.imgur.com/AonBGUj.jpg)

We have a winner!

Amazing.
That cover wins the internetz. - Gollum looks like he's on meth or something.
Bilbo ate all the pies, and then the baker too. Slightly disturbed by this.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on January 30, 2013, 12:32:13 AM

Bilbo ate all the pies, and then the baker too.

 And, judging by the way he's looking at Gollum, I'm guessing not even he will survive for long :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Captain_Newtype on January 30, 2013, 12:40:31 AM

 What is wrong with the cover for "the highwayman"?

Well, he doesn't know the Dread Pirate Roberts lookalike contest is that-a-way...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Seregris on January 30, 2013, 05:47:02 AM
(http://www.saltmanz.com/pictures/albums/Cover%20Scans/Book%20Covers/Battle%20Circle.jpg)

Anyone ever read this book?  It's divided into three parts, and the first one is pretty good - a unique, post-apocalyptic/fantasy adventure.  The other two parts pale in comparison - as though Anthony ran out of creative steam.

Still, what a God awful cover...XD
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Wizard Police on January 30, 2013, 08:10:57 AM
Reading through this topic makes me feel competent about my non existent artistic skills.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Hierath on January 30, 2013, 01:04:59 PM
I've read the Piers Anthony - I had it in three parts and all the covers were godawful, and the insides weren't that much better - it winged it's way into the recycling bin at the point where the Token Woman got raped to death... :S  Magic Kingdom of Landover, on the other hand, is pretty good.  Worth a read if you want something fun, and mine has the bad cover too!!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on January 30, 2013, 01:26:46 PM
New contender;

(http://i.imgur.com/AonBGUj.jpg)

We have a winner!

Amazing.
That cover wins the internetz. - Gollum looks like he's on meth or something.
Bilbo ate all the pies, and then the baker too. Slightly disturbed by this.

Never thought I'd put 'bad' and 'Lord of the Rings' in the same sentence. But, that cover for Lord of the Rings is BAD!!!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on January 30, 2013, 01:47:51 PM
When I see that cover, I hear Cartman's voice saying "No Kitty! This is my pot pie" But instead of kitty, it would be gollem, and instead of pot pie, it would short sword.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on January 30, 2013, 02:16:57 PM
This cover is so terrible, it's coming back to good from the other side...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nestat on January 30, 2013, 02:53:51 PM
New contender;

(http://i.imgur.com/AonBGUj.jpg)

We have a winner!

Amazing.
That cover wins the internetz. - Gollum looks like he's on meth or something.
Bilbo ate all the pies, and then the baker too. Slightly disturbed by this.

Never thought I'd put 'bad' and 'Lord of the Rings' in the same sentence. But, that cover for Lord of the Rings is BAD!!!

Well, yes. That cover is even worse than we thought if it's supposed to be Lord of the Rings!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 30, 2013, 04:37:24 PM
Landover was Terry Brooks' attempt at doing 'funny fantasy'. I believe it proved quite popular. I didn't like it much. I read the first one and it sent me scurrying back to Terry Pratchett.

Hmmm - it has funny moments, but it's also quite dark - it deals with alcoholism and depression. I found it a refreshing read from Brooks. Like I say - the sequels take it too far but Magic Kingdom For Sale/Sold was really good I thought.

Agreed. I would say it's darker more often than it's funny. And the sequels aren't nearly as good. I think I read the second book and stopped. But the first book is okay as a standalone and I would suggest trying it out. :) Nothing like Pratchett in my mind though.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 30, 2013, 04:40:31 PM
The rest of the series isn't that much better

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1988b.jpg)

That's the series my dad has. XD
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 30, 2013, 04:42:10 PM
I remember why that Hobbit seems so familiar,  that was the copy the school had us check out and read when the Hobbit was assigned in eighth grade.

And while we're on the subject of bad Tolkien covers

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1981b.jpg)

And this would be the series I have. XD When I moved out I stole this set from him because my second choice was the other set. XD I actually kind of like The Two Towers art in this set. But I think that's because you can't see any of the characters very well. ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on January 30, 2013, 04:42:52 PM
I remember why that Hobbit seems so familiar,  that was the copy the school had us check out and read when the Hobbit was assigned in eighth grade.

And while we're on the subject of bad Tolkien covers

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1981b.jpg)

And this would be the series I have. XD When I moved out I stole this set from him because my second choice was the other set. XD I actually kind of like The Two Towers art in this set. But I think that's because you can't see any of the characters very well. ;)

Also the eagle on The Hobbit cover is totally going to eat them all. o.o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Captain_Newtype on January 30, 2013, 10:54:00 PM

I'm very surprised some of the Michael Moorcock covers didn't make it. Great author, some of his cover art is pretty crappy.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/7812ee113bd860e389222aa258e2e94c.jpg)

This is Levi's weirdest ever commercial.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/b9160faa164891873f493cb017c532fe.jpg)

Well, there is a sort of tower/castle thing in the book, so I guess it's ALMOST accurate to... something within the book.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/6dbcf18afdcc4ffa19efe88c5bb6719c.png)

I don't even... what?

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 30, 2013, 11:02:26 PM

I'm very surprised some of the Michael Moorcock covers didn't make it. Great author, some of his cover art is pretty crappy.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/7812ee113bd860e389222aa258e2e94c.jpg)

This is Levi's weirdest ever commercial.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/b9160faa164891873f493cb017c532fe.jpg)

Well, there is a sort of tower/castle thing in the book, so I guess it's ALMOST accurate to... something within the book.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/6dbcf18afdcc4ffa19efe88c5bb6719c.png)

I don't even... what?

Superb contribution!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on January 30, 2013, 11:03:20 PM
Superb contribution!
Absolutely! They're hilarious. :D
Especially the last one... Incredible.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on January 30, 2013, 11:59:29 PM

I'm very surprised some of the Michael Moorcock covers didn't make it. Great author, some of his cover art is pretty crappy.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/7812ee113bd860e389222aa258e2e94c.jpg)

This is Levi's weirdest ever commercial.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/b9160faa164891873f493cb017c532fe.jpg)

Well, there is a sort of tower/castle thing in the book, so I guess it's ALMOST accurate to... something within the book.

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/6dbcf18afdcc4ffa19efe88c5bb6719c.png)

I don't even... what?

The last one......mind. Blown. I got given an Elric omnibus today, the cover on that is pretty awfully drawn. But nothing even close to those!
They're just....wow. That makes my Elric cover look positively amazing in comparison.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Captain_Newtype on January 31, 2013, 12:39:23 AM

(http://ferretbrain.com/images/library/6dbcf18afdcc4ffa19efe88c5bb6719c.png)

I don't even... what?

The last one......mind. Blown. I got given an Elric omnibus today, the cover on that is pretty awfully drawn. But nothing even close to those!
They're just....wow. That makes my Elric cover look positively amazing in comparison.

The strange thing about 'Fat Buddah riding a horse of flames' is that it's a political novel in the future.

Michael Moorcock's covers have ranged from pretty good (Michael Whaelen and the Del Rey omnibuses of the last few years.) to 'Really bad LP covers for strange metal bands.'

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_zNw9VE7Y3Hc/TNggCA4m1ZI/AAAAAAAADt8/oDKrwkwSwNA/s1600/kingOfSwords.jpg)
(http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n0/n980.jpg)

(http://vintage45.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/michael-moorcock-the-eternal-champion.jpg)

Admittedly, I do have a soft spot for this one, although if only the novel itself were as metal.


(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bDW3PDyVYfg/T5xQTykdnUI/AAAAAAAAAP4/QvNwTzDaTe8/s1600/Wizard's%2520First%2520Rule%2520-%2520Terry%2520Goodkind_resizedcover.jpeg)

I think this cover though... a damn sight better than the novel it used to adorn. Partially because Goodkind turned around to say 'My books aren't fantasy, they're about people' or some such bullcrap, I'm putting it up here. The new cover, pretty but bland.

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rZ2Q37fBYgs/TpTeOaZEfqI/AAAAAAAAArw/_1zQkwiiRJA/s1600/Wizards+First+Rule+Terry+Goodkind.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on January 31, 2013, 03:35:52 AM
This one certainly isn't going to win 'worst' when competing with many of the ones already shown, but seemed worth as mention.

(http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1298415054l/13505.jpg)

Are they running some clone zoo on a spaceship? It's got lots of cats, a unicorn, a dinosaur, a gorilla (or maybe it's King Kong?), a turtle, a couple of thing I can't figure out what they are...and some guy chillin in his captains chair (with another cat in his lap). At least that's what it looks like to me. I don't know anything about the book. Maybe the cover is perfect for it. ???
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Captain_Newtype on January 31, 2013, 04:05:28 AM
This one certainly isn't going to win 'worst' when competing with many of the ones already shown, but seemed worth as mention.

(http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1298415054l/13505.jpg)

Are they running some clone zoo on a spaceship? It's got lots of cats, a unicorn, a dinosaur, a gorilla (or maybe it's King Kong?), a turtle, a couple of thing I can't figure out what they are...and some guy chillin in his captains chair (with another cat in his lap). At least that's what it looks like to me. I don't know anything about the book. Maybe the cover is perfect for it. ???

Actually, yes, yes he is.

The main character really likes cats as well.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: DiscoGobbo on January 31, 2013, 03:20:23 PM
HA! That Fat Bilbo cover is the edition I read when I first read The Hobbit. Memories.
I now have a much nicer hardcover from the the 60's in my collection.

I don't know what you people are talking about in this thread. These covers aren't terrible, they're AH-MAZING.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Jaedia on January 31, 2013, 07:49:20 PM
... Mind officially blown by this thread. Sheesh..
Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on February 01, 2013, 09:25:24 PM
This thread makes my day. <3

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 03, 2013, 04:02:24 PM
It's the same guy on every one!  Who the heck is he?

(http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/files/2013/01/covers4.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on February 03, 2013, 04:23:38 PM
I think he's on a few more as well.

Nice cushy gig though, making a living out of wearing a hoodie and having a firm jaw...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: blendyface on February 03, 2013, 04:33:35 PM
(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Winning-Colors.jpg)

I love this!

Everything from the title to the image showing a weird Polo player on a horse along with starships.

Oh my god this gives me life
This

(http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6165/6180834824_3f1141a300.jpg)
LOR THIS IS INCREDIBLE
WHY
HOW--

I have a picture of a reaaaall weird book-cover I'll post if I can find it...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Luke Scull on February 03, 2013, 08:39:41 PM
It's the same guy on every one!  Who the heck is he?

(http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/files/2013/01/covers4.jpg)

That's Hooded Man, perhaps the hardest-working model in fantasy today if one discounts Geralt of Rivia. They say no one has ever seen his face, and that he can brood with such ferocity readers can literally feel the mystique emanating from the pages.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 03, 2013, 09:42:52 PM
The guy in the hoodie sure gets around.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on February 03, 2013, 10:00:12 PM
THahaha, I have a Mark Charan Newton that DOESN'T have the hoodie guy on the cover :o
(http://aidanmoher.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/nights-of-villjamur-by-mark-charan-newton-paperback.jpg)

Maybe hoodie guy got a better offer?



Edited to make the cover fit on the page :)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lor on February 03, 2013, 10:33:46 PM
Am I allowed to object to the Mark Newton cover being in here, or will the regulars tell me to get back in my box?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Jaedia on February 03, 2013, 10:52:44 PM
Am I allowed to object to the Mark Newton cover being in here, or will the regulars tell me to get back in my box?

*points at box*
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on February 03, 2013, 11:34:15 PM
The guy in the hoodie sure gets around.

He could at least change his clothes....
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on February 03, 2013, 11:47:15 PM
The guy in the hoodie sure gets around.

He could at least change his clothes....

What if he has done, only his wardrobe consists of the same hoodie in varying shades of black  :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Doctor_Chill on June 08, 2013, 07:48:11 PM
Reviving an old thread here. Links and all. 92 pages of really bad covers...

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Wizard Police on June 09, 2013, 04:14:57 AM
Reviving an old thread here. Links and all. 92 pages of really bad covers...

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/

My eyes can't take it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on June 10, 2013, 09:39:46 AM
Reviving an old thread here. Links and all. 92 pages of really bad covers...

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/


Oh. My. Word.

My eyes hurt, actually physically hurt.
 
What on earth where people thinking actually allowing some of those on the shelves!? Some are bad-funny, others are just bad-awful.

Eek!!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Louise on June 10, 2013, 12:11:48 PM
I thought the Driftglass one was alright. I mean, the image is bizarre, but the layout is nicely put together.

The rest though...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on July 26, 2013, 04:30:53 PM
I shared this on Twitter already today, and it may not be the worst, but seems to deserve mention. This replaced the standard cover in audible, so it may only be the audiobook.... whatever it is, I really hope its temporary. It may be one of the worst updated covers I have seen.

(http://t.co/1nsM2BqIfZ)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: sennydreadful on July 26, 2013, 04:49:44 PM
I shared this on Twitter already today, and it may not be the worst, but seems to deserve mention. This replaced the standard cover in audible, so it may only be the audiobook.... whatever it is, I really hope its temporary. It may be one of the worst updated covers I have seen.

(http://t.co/1nsM2BqIfZ)

Good lord. That looks a little bit like Stephen King lurking in the sky there.  :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Doctor_Chill on July 26, 2013, 04:51:30 PM
I shared this on Twitter already today, and it may not be the worst, but seems to deserve mention. This replaced the standard cover in audible, so it may only be the audiobook.... whatever it is, I really hope its temporary. It may be one of the worst updated covers I have seen.

(http://t.co/1nsM2BqIfZ)

Good lord. That looks a little bit like Stephen King lurking in the sky there.  :o

"Stephen King is out to steal the sun in this wildly popular debut by Scott Lynch."
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Dan D Jones on July 26, 2013, 04:56:58 PM
Reviving an old thread here. Links and all. 92 pages of really bad covers...

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/
Oh. My. Word.
My eyes hurt, actually physically hurt.
What on earth where people thinking actually allowing some of those on the shelves!? Some are bad-funny, others are just bad-awful.
Eek!!

I can sympathize to an extent but seeing as how I remember when the local convenience stores had racks of these books sitting near the counter, I will say that it's a little unfair to judge those covers by modern standards.  The world of Sci Fi and Fantasy was quite different back then, as was society in general.  Isn't progress wonderful?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on July 26, 2013, 04:58:07 PM
I shared this on Twitter already today, and it may not be the worst, but seems to deserve mention. This replaced the standard cover in audible, so it may only be the audiobook.... whatever it is, I really hope its temporary. It may be one of the worst updated covers I have seen.

(http://t.co/1nsM2BqIfZ)

Good lord. That looks a little bit like Stephen King lurking in the sky there.  :o

"Stephen King is out to steal the sun in this wildly popular debut by Scott Lynch."

I didn't even see the face in the sky till you mentioned it. Creepy.... o.0
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Autumn2May on October 22, 2013, 02:56:49 AM
So I'm resurrecting this thread to bring you all a classic: Swords in the Mist by Fritz Leiber.

(http://fantasy-faction.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Swords-In-The-Mist-cover.jpg) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swords_in_the_Mist)

And now I have to know...does this actually happen in the book??
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on October 22, 2013, 04:03:31 AM
I'm not sure if I have read that actual story A2M, but I have read some of them and yes it is entirely possible that's an illustration from one.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on October 22, 2013, 08:04:46 AM
I've read most of them, but it was a long, long time ago so I can't remember tbh. I just want to know why Fafhrd is wearing a nappy!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on October 22, 2013, 08:15:44 AM
Wow, that's so bad it reaches good from the other side.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on October 22, 2013, 11:01:13 AM
Annd once again, audio books deface Scott Lynch's work with yet another horrid, yet laughable, I can't believe it's not from the eighties cover:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AlNISOl3L._SL150_.jpg)

ETA: scratch that, her hair's not big enough for the eighties. Maybe I should have said 90s.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: AnneLyle on October 22, 2013, 11:29:01 AM
Oh dear god that's awful! Could they not get permission to use the original book cover? It's such a gorgeous cover too - that one looks like a self-pub effort!

Poor Scott! Poor Michael Page! (He narrated my first two books as well. I think he was too busy working on RoT to do The Prince of Lies :( )
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on October 22, 2013, 11:30:24 AM
Annd once again, audio books deface Scott Lynch's work with yet another horrid, yet laughable, I can't believe it's not from the eighties cover:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AlNISOl3L._SL150_.jpg)

ETA: scratch that, her hair's not big enough for the eighties. Maybe I should have said 90s.

That is awful.  :(  Bland text on a black background would be better!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on October 22, 2013, 08:19:11 PM
Annd once again, audio books deface Scott Lynch's work with yet another horrid, yet laughable, I can't believe it's not from the eighties cover:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AlNISOl3L._SL150_.jpg)

ETA: scratch that, her hair's not big enough for the eighties. Maybe I should have said 90s.

That is awful.  :(  Bland text on a black background would be better!
Speaking of black background. Just incase you missed this detail, they changed one strip of her shirt to black, I assume to make the awesome sword more visible.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on October 22, 2013, 09:06:32 PM
Annd once again, audio books deface Scott Lynch's work with yet another horrid, yet laughable, I can't believe it's not from the eighties cover:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AlNISOl3L._SL150_.jpg)

ETA: scratch that, her hair's not big enough for the eighties. Maybe I should have said 90s.

I think Mark Lawrence was pretty unhappy with his too (I could be wrong)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on October 22, 2013, 09:38:06 PM
I think Mark Lawrence was pretty unhappy with his too (I could be wrong)

His were rather poor, especially compared to his actual covers which are amazing. But they are not this level of horrendous. I think not having people one them helps.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: EricaDakin on October 22, 2013, 10:45:49 PM
Annd once again, audio books deface Scott Lynch's work with yet another horrid, yet laughable, I can't believe it's not from the eighties cover:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AlNISOl3L._SL150_.jpg)

ETA: scratch that, her hair's not big enough for the eighties. Maybe I should have said 90s.

All it needs is a duckface and we have a rogue selfie.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on October 22, 2013, 10:58:58 PM
That brings to mind a comment Scott made in an interview once about wonderful books, but with covers that look like they were designed by chimpanzees on drugs.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: pornokitsch on October 23, 2013, 10:36:47 AM
Annd once again, audio books deface Scott Lynch's work with yet another horrid, yet laughable, I can't believe it's not from the eighties cover:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AlNISOl3L._SL150_.jpg)

ETA: scratch that, her hair's not big enough for the eighties. Maybe I should have said 90s.

That is truly appalling. It looks like one of those semi-pirate DVDs you find in convenience stores for 99 cents.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: rshmglsky on October 23, 2013, 05:18:02 PM
After combing through the posts here, I think you guys are confused.

The original poster wanted the worst fantasy covers, not the best ones!

Maybe... they're so bad... that makes them good.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Captain_Newtype on October 26, 2013, 06:37:58 AM
I've read most of them, but it was a long, long time ago so I can't remember tbh. I just want to know why Fafhrd is wearing a nappy!

Well, the hard-boozing, hard-adventuring lifestyle takes its toll on a person!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Gabriel_North on November 01, 2013, 05:20:54 PM
Haha! Clearly there were some publishers in the 70's who really tried to ride the SFF horse for every penny they could get.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Gaie Sebold on February 24, 2014, 10:10:19 PM
Great, I now have another site I will be forced to waste time on instead of writing!  The horror...

I've been very happy with my own covers so far, but I think I've been lucky - I've heard some horror stories from other authors.
"We're putting a dragon on it."
"But there's no dragon in the boo..."
"Fantasy readers buy stuff with dragons. We're putting a dragon on it."  ::)
(That was before Broody Cloak Person became mandatory, of course).
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 24, 2014, 10:51:28 PM
Great, I now have another site I will be forced to waste time on instead of writing!  The horror...

I've been very happy with my own covers so far, but I think I've been lucky - I've heard some horror stories from other authors.
"We're putting a dragon on it."
"But there's no dragon in the boo..."
"Fantasy readers buy stuff with dragons. We're putting a dragon on it."  ::)
(That was before Broody Cloak Person became mandatory, of course).
At least you didn't have to go through the Headless Woman phase, although that was more for historical romances than anything.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Gaie Sebold on February 24, 2014, 11:03:08 PM
There was a headless woman phase? In romance? I mean I could get it in horror...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 24, 2014, 11:10:29 PM
There was a headless woman phase? In romance? I mean I could get it in horror...
Yeah. Basically they only showed the body from the waist to the neck. No heads. They seem to have gotten over that now. I don't know what it was actually called. Lejays17 likes historicals and we used to look at the covers and laugh and called it 'the headless woman' phase. The other things you mentioned: the person in the hoodie on the cover, no quicker way to get me to pass a book by if I see it on the shelf. On the other hand I love the covers Joey HiFi did for Chuck Wendig's Miriam Black series and I always adored the chaotic Josh Kirby covers for Terry Pratchett's books.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: sabrok on February 24, 2014, 11:11:40 PM
I remember why that Hobbit seems so familiar,  that was the copy the school had us check out and read when the Hobbit was assigned in eighth grade.

And while we're on the subject of bad Tolkien covers

(http://theliteraryomnivore.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/lotr1981b.jpg)

I actually don't mind these covers with the exception of the offensive green on The Two Towers
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Francis Knight on February 25, 2014, 10:47:12 AM
There was a headless woman phase? In romance? I mean I could get it in horror...

Indeed -- almost as common is/was the headless man (you just see their ripped pecs/abs). A lot of readers don't like to have a preconceived notion of what the hero/heroine look like -- what if the guy looks exactly like the sort of guy you wouldn't go for? A lot of readers like to insert their own imagination into exactly how the guy is hot.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Overlord on February 25, 2014, 11:21:23 AM
There was a headless woman phase? In romance? I mean I could get it in horror...

Indeed -- almost as common is/was the headless man (you just see their ripped pecs/abs). A lot of readers don't like to have a preconceived notion of what the hero/heroine look like -- what if the guy looks exactly like the sort of guy you wouldn't go for? A lot of readers like to insert their own imagination into exactly how the guy is hot.

Oooooh - it ain't over yet, my friends. Look what I was sent (I get sent EVERYTHING to review) just this week:

(https://www.littlebrown.co.uk/assets/LittleBrownBookGroup/img/book/822/isbn9780349400822-detail.jpg)

Quote
New York Times bestselling author Jacquelyn Frank continues her scorching and sensual new series set in the world of the Nightwalkers, where an ancient race known as Bodywalkers are the vanguards against the raging forces of darkness.

As a mercenary, Leo Alvarez has signed on for a lot-but he never signed on for his best friend becoming host to the soul of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh. Jackson is now inhabited by a Bodywalker, and Leo is forced to grapple with a realm of supernatural beings far more dangerous than anything he's ever encountered.

But when Jackson is wounded by an attack from a demon god, Leo must team up with another supernatural creature-a Night Angel-to save his friend from utter destruction. With skin as black as midnight, hair as white as snow, and a body of pure perfection, the Night Angel arouses a burning desire in Leo, even as he refuses to be intimidated by her power-or the power of those who would destroy his friend. An unusual alliance is forged, electrified by sexual temptation, and together the two must unite their strengths to bring down a supreme evil.

The cover really, really minimises the SFF doesn't it? But the above blurb matches the above cover.

Also, there was a thread I created discussing an important question I had to the mysterious girl who looks over her shoulder, usually wearing tight pants and holding a weapon:

http://fantasy-faction.com/forum/fantasy-book-discussion/the-hooded-man-the-book-cover-of-20102011/msg3844/#msg3844 (http://fantasy-faction.com/forum/fantasy-book-discussion/the-hooded-man-the-book-cover-of-20102011/msg3844/#msg3844)

"Oh hot girl... why do you look back at us? What have you forgotten? What mysteries can you take us on with your tight pants, your perfect figure and temptress-like eyes... I must pick up your book and find out"
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: hyptonize on February 25, 2014, 12:25:56 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51imJYWcztL.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: sennydreadful on February 25, 2014, 02:39:11 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51imJYWcztL.jpg)

I can't stop looking at it. Is the blue woman running for the bus?
Title: Re: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on February 25, 2014, 04:34:58 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51imJYWcztL.jpg)

I can't stop looking at it. Is the blue woman running for the bus?

Looks like shes participating in a gymnastics comp on the beam. I expect her to attempt a dismount any second. :s
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on February 25, 2014, 11:48:52 PM
Jim Hines had a lot of fun with Captain Vorpatril's Alliance. I can't remember the other two authors who helped him, but I think one was John Scalzi. Jim's take on covers, especially urban fantasy, is well worth looking at for a laugh. He contends that most of the poses are either extremely uncomfortable or anatomically impossible.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: hyptonize on February 26, 2014, 10:42:42 AM
Jim Hines had a lot of fun with Captain Vorpatril's Alliance. I can't remember the other two authors who helped him, but I think one was John Scalzi. Jim's take on covers, especially urban fantasy, is well worth looking at for a laugh. He contends that most of the poses are either extremely uncomfortable or anatomically impossible.
Ahh, yes. I saw some of his pictures while searching for the cover.

(http://www.sff.net/people/jchines/Pics/Bear%20Paw.jpg)

(http://www.worldbuilders.org/images/uploads/stretch_goals/False_Equivalency_-_Final.jpg)

(http://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/jim-c-hines.jpeg)

(http://www.sff.net/people/jchines/Temp/Vicious%20Grace%20-%20Jim.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Gaie Sebold on April 14, 2014, 10:32:49 PM
Wow. That 'Worlds of Edgar Rice Burroughs' cover - phallic symbolism much?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: David Gullen on April 14, 2014, 10:54:52 PM
So is there a big box of heads somewhere?
(Just askin')
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: pornokitsch on April 15, 2014, 11:02:49 AM
So is there a big box of heads somewhere?
(Just askin')

That made me laugh out loud.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on September 13, 2014, 08:33:07 PM
Even Buzzfeed have noticed how awful fantasy book covers are

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/fantasy-novels-that-are-good-despite-their-covers?s=mobile
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on September 13, 2014, 09:02:31 PM
Even Buzzfeed have noticed how awful fantasy book covers are

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/fantasy-novels-that-are-good-despite-their-covers?s=mobile

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/5/22/10/enhanced-buzz-15854-1369231980-1.jpg)
Quote
What you expect: A fashion show is ruined when an old homeless man wanders onto the catwalk.
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on September 13, 2014, 09:36:08 PM
Even Buzzfeed have noticed how awful fantasy book covers are

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/fantasy-novels-that-are-good-despite-their-covers?s=mobile

So funny ;D it just shows how awful american covers are, compared to english ones - even recent books (the 'people on covers' thing, again hehe)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on September 13, 2014, 10:17:37 PM
That Buzzfeed list on The Name of the Wind:

The (hands down) best high-fantasy series written in the last 20 years. If you haven’t read it yet and you like fantasy, immediately start reading it now.


Now we know!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on September 13, 2014, 10:45:18 PM
That Buzzfeed list on The Name of the Wind:

The (hands down) best high-fantasy series written in the last 20 years. If you haven’t read it yet and you like fantasy, immediately start reading it now.


Now we know!

There is a couple of more articles where they make the exact same point. Buzzfeed and Jo Walton should get a room together and discuss Name of the Wind all night long.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Roxxsmom on September 14, 2014, 04:56:16 AM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51imJYWcztL.jpg)

Didn't Jim Hines do a coverflip parody of this one? If he hasn't already, he should.

Here's a link to a particularly horrible one by the immortal Daryl K. Sweet. You could always tell his stuff, because the horses have such appalled looks on their faces (at the things a very talented artist was sometimes commissioned to draw).

The look on the Roman soldier's face is priceless, as if the floating, naked baby is going to pee or puke on him.

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/FoxandEmpire.jpg (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/FoxandEmpire.jpg)

This site has a nice list of terrible covers.

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/ (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on September 14, 2014, 11:50:36 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51imJYWcztL.jpg)

Didn't Jim Hines do a coverflip parody of this one? If he hasn't already, he should.

Here's a link to a particularly horrible one by the immortal Daryl K. Sweet. You could always tell his stuff, because the horses have such appalled looks on their faces (at the things a very talented artist was sometimes commissioned to draw).

The look on the Roman soldier's face is priceless, as if the floating, naked baby is going to pee or puke on him.

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/FoxandEmpire.jpg (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/FoxandEmpire.jpg)

This site has a nice list of terrible covers.

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/ (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/)
Hines did do that one. I think he did it with John Scalzi and Lois McMaster Bujold herself. Hines and Scalzi played the female roles while Bujold took on the male one. Baen started out doing this sort of cover and then realised how they were viewed and now they do it deliberately because it's expected, it seems to have become a bit of an in joke amongst fans.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on September 15, 2014, 01:02:47 AM
So, does anyone think this one deserves a mention here?

(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1400647851l/20518786.jpg)

It's certainly not the worst cover I've ever seen, but it's definitely rather awful.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Saraband on September 15, 2014, 01:11:24 AM
So, does anyone think this one deserves a mention here?

(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1400647851l/20518786.jpg)

It definitely does. Not content with simply being awful, it looks amateurishly awful.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on September 15, 2014, 01:44:00 AM
Very different from anything else Erikson has done, too by the looks of it. I don't think they're actually awful as such, but the covers they did for the paperback versions of Jim Hines' Libriomancer series just looked wrong when compared to the original hardbacks.
Title: Re: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on September 15, 2014, 07:40:29 AM
So, does anyone think this one deserves a mention here?

(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1400647851l/20518786.jpg)

It's certainly not the worst cover I've ever seen, but it's definitely rather awful.
I don't know what that is about, but I definitely wouldn't buy/read/pick it up with that cover. That's uhm... nope.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Idlewilder on September 15, 2014, 08:40:57 AM
Luckily it's not the final cover.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51v9x87PRWL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)


Still not overly impressed...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on September 15, 2014, 01:03:08 PM
Luckily it's not the final cover.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51v9x87PRWL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)


Still not overly impressed...

Glad to see they removed the creepy gun-porn guy, but yeah, still looks awfully amateurish, or as M.G.B. put it, amateurishly awful.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Sinnerman on September 16, 2014, 04:08:25 AM
Luckily it's not the final cover.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51v9x87PRWL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)


Still not overly impressed...

I dislike both covers but I dislike the name even more.
Title: Re: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on September 16, 2014, 07:47:56 AM
Luckily it's not the final cover.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51v9x87PRWL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)


Still not overly impressed...

Glad to see they removed the creepy gun-porn guy, but yeah, still looks awfully amateurish, or as M.G.B. put it, amateurishly awful.
It looks like they put no effort in, it looks rushed and cheap :/
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Roxxsmom on September 17, 2014, 07:18:49 AM
Luckily it's not the final cover.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51v9x87PRWL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)


Still not overly impressed...

I dislike both covers but I dislike the name even more.

I don't have feelings one way or another about the second cover. Generic space opera SF cover to me. Might pick it up if I was in the mood for something like that.

But having seen the version with the smarmy gun guy, I can't unsee it. Nor can I get past the idea that he's the "willful child" in question, which does not make me want to read it. Agree that it's not a great title, cover or no cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: tonyelliott777 on September 17, 2014, 03:56:22 PM
I am almost in tears here.  Seriously...  The monster that was a vagina???
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Roxxsmom on September 22, 2014, 04:08:09 AM
Some of those covers from the 70s and 80s were pretty awful.

(http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j302/Roxxsmom/hoodedman_zpsa22fa54e.jpg) (http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j302/Roxxsmom/Imager-197x300_zps238d23ee.jpg) (http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j302/Roxxsmom/84f1bcb5-4c56-428d-aade-42ae35371337_zps539b2904.jpg)



Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Doctor_Chill on September 22, 2014, 04:24:33 AM
I wouldn't say Imager is THAT bad, but the other two. . .

Yeah, they're pretty bad.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on September 22, 2014, 05:04:13 AM
I don't now. I kind of like that Imager cover. Of course, my taste in covers must not be great. I'll read just about anything that has the hooded man on the cover.  ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on September 22, 2014, 05:32:35 AM
No. Imager is bad. He's drawing a photo realistic painting with a pen.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Roxxsmom on September 23, 2014, 06:50:26 AM
I don't now. I kind of like that Imager cover. Of course, my taste in covers must not be great. I'll read just about anything that has the hooded man on the cover.  ;)

I think anything that tries to portray your protagonist in too much detail can be problematic, because A. They often get it wrong, and B. They'll probably present someone who looks dorky--or simply unattractive--by at least some prospective readers' standards. But making a person look like a supermodel is potentially off putting too.

The logic behind the dude or dudette in the cloak covers makes more sense in light of this. If the protagonist's hair is covered and the face is half hidden, you don't have to worry about making him or her clash with any description the author provides.

Though characters who are the wrong race are just booooo.

(http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j302/Roxxsmom/whitewash-earthsea_zps03504107.jpg)

What amazes me is discovering how many different covers there have been for some classic works of SF and F (and predictably, some are better than others). But even relatively recent books can have different covers sometimes, even between paperback and hardcover. I always wondered why they screw around with cover art so much with some books and not others (I've also seen books that have had the same exact cover for paperbacks, hardcovers and e-books, and even for subsequent editions and reissues).

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on September 23, 2014, 06:05:16 PM
Those Le Guin covers are terrible. I can't even read the title on the middle one.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on September 23, 2014, 08:33:35 PM
Those Le Guin covers are terrible. I can't even read the title on the middle one.

The worst part is that Ged is a white man on those covers, while he is dark skinned in the novels. Way to whitewash the content of the novels!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on September 23, 2014, 08:54:50 PM
I just went through the whole thread. It's one of the most amazing things I've seen in months...  ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on September 24, 2014, 01:56:09 AM
Those Le Guin covers are terrible. I can't even read the title on the middle one.
That's a huge no no, not being able to read the title, of course the title shouldn't overwhelm the artwork either. Those are all examples of the publisher not really having any idea of what they're marketing, because Ged is described in the book and he doesn't look anything like those images. I can imagine it's rather upsetting for an author when something that easy to get right is wrong and totally misrepresents your main character to the public.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Roxxsmom on September 27, 2014, 05:41:55 AM
Those Le Guin covers are terrible. I can't even read the title on the middle one.

The worst part is that Ged is a white man on those covers, while he is dark skinned in the novels. Way to whitewash the content of the novels!

Yeah, and there's actually a different version of the middle cover I've seen, where his skin is a bit darker (still not dark enough imo), so they clearly made a deliberate attempt to bleach him out for a later version of the same cover. May be why the lettering is invisible too. The cover that was on the version I had as a kid were totally different, and at least one of them showed him as having light brown skin. This is the version of the cover I remember from my childhood, though Ged is still a bit bleached looking imo. Looking up the name of the book, I found it's been graced by at least a dozen completely different covers.

(http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j302/Roxxsmom/bc4579e2-8bbc-4302-9b67-13f27a5b118d_zps280d714d.jpg)


It's odd how some books will have the same cover for decades (though numerous reprints), and others have a new cover every time someone sneezes.

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Stars Cascade on October 12, 2014, 06:38:05 PM
Is the Deas one 80s? Fairly sure that's newer than that. Don't like that cover on it though.

Makes you wonder what thought process is behind some of these.
Likely 'the weirder and uglier it is, the more it's gonna make people laugh and buy it for comedy factor' it's the only explanation.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on November 21, 2014, 08:23:34 PM
I don't know anything about either the book or the writer, but I just really, really hate book covers like these.

(http://www.blackgate.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/The-Wide-Worlds-End-small.jpg)
Large (http://www.blackgate.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/The-Wide-Worlds-End.jpg)

This is spectacuarly bad.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on April 13, 2015, 12:32:56 PM
Yora, thanks for linking to this thread again - I'd already read it, but I'm laughing out loud with some tears included, again...
This needs to be up there for all the newbies ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on April 13, 2015, 12:46:11 PM
And the last just left me speechless
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QLjXIH5h5UQ/UGpQOvu8g9I/AAAAAAAALnM/ff4dmesE-Es/s1600/orczy.jpg)
This is really amazingly terrible, and probably the worst I've ever seen.

Though this one is also hilarious:
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512D5D1BiOL.jpg)
;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on April 13, 2015, 12:48:30 PM
And if we're in the goat subject... ;D

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/tothedeviladaugh-cen.jpg)   (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/devilday.jpg)

and to be impartial... dragons!

(http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/dragonsonthetown.jpg)  (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/dragonultimate-693x1024.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on April 13, 2015, 01:09:10 PM
Like the cute dragon with the Sherlock Holmes type man but the other dragon definitely needs some air brushing.  I read To the Devil a Daughter under the bedclothes when I was about ten and it was a terrify but fascinate experience.   Love this thread, thanks for reviving it.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JamesLatimer on April 13, 2015, 11:34:08 PM
(http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n0/n980.jpg)
You are all wrong, these Moorcock covers are EPIC. I have most of them and have to resist the temptation to buy them again and again...  ;D

Glen Cook had some bad covers. The classic Black Company cover is good in concept (ominous figure in black, etc), but actually terrible when you look too closely (Darth Vader?).  Also, this:
(http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1295772376l/400904.jpg)
Luckily the new covers by Raymond Swanland are the BEST THING EVER. Will have to buy all the books...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on April 14, 2015, 12:27:12 AM
The Christopher Rowley is from the Bazil Broketail series, and having read one of those, it does kind of make sense. Still a naff cover, though.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on April 17, 2015, 08:37:51 PM
Who is this person who makes all the covers for every fantasy book released in this decade? You know, the one who always uses photos of people in costume posing for the camera.

Is there only one person who makes all covers, or did everyone agree to only make a single, very specific type of covers anymore?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 PM
Who is this person who makes all the covers for every fantasy book released in this decade? You know, the one who always uses photos of people in costume posing for the camera.

Is there only one person who makes all covers, or did everyone agree to only make a single, very specific type of covers anymore?
I think it's just a computer program.  ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on April 17, 2015, 09:21:47 PM
And a bad one.
(http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/files/2013/01/covers4.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on April 17, 2015, 09:23:19 PM
Come on, Yora, the poor computer doesn't know they are supposed to be different books ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on April 18, 2015, 01:30:46 AM
Who is this person who makes all the covers for every fantasy book released in this decade? You know, the one who always uses photos of people in costume posing for the camera.

Is there only one person who makes all covers, or did everyone agree to only make a single, very specific type of covers anymore?
Larry Rostant does a lot of those, but I find him really good. Costumes are used a lot for historicals. The cover of the upcoming Of Noble Family by Mary Robinette Kowal is definitely a one off, because the author herself made the dress.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on December 06, 2015, 01:56:13 AM
Presume I'm fine bumping this, if not move me or kill me as appropriate :D

It's worth a bump however for the new American editions of Robin Hobb's Tawny Man Trilogy.

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BGC1xJl8jGI/VmK7WS6PTjI/AAAAAAAAMWQ/Q5NXs3JF-7U/s400/Tawny%2BMan%2B1.jpeg)

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1nq2fjptKVo/VmK7WQEBLsI/AAAAAAAAMWM/stxGm9FaHTs/s400/Tawny%2BMan%2B2.jpeg)

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x6adrr3jTSM/VmK7WAlBXLI/AAAAAAAAMWI/OVVzGusqyAM/s400/Tawny%2BMan%2B3.jpeg)

There are no words that these covers exist in 2015, a GRRM quote doesn't help guys!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Raptori on December 06, 2015, 02:15:12 AM
Wow. I've seen the middle one before, but the others are even worse. What were they thinking?  :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on December 06, 2015, 10:34:02 AM
Wow. I've seen the middle one before, but the others are even worse. What were they thinking?  :o
This.
They are just AWFUL :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on December 06, 2015, 01:01:28 PM
Yes but we are Europeans, American fantasy readers probable love them  ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on December 06, 2015, 01:26:37 PM
Yes but we are Europeans, American fantasy readers probable love them  ;D
:P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on December 06, 2015, 05:44:03 PM
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1nq2fjptKVo/VmK7WQEBLsI/AAAAAAAAMWM/stxGm9FaHTs/s400/Tawny%2BMan%2B2.jpeg)(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41PE-gkyeXL._SY300_.jpg)
Uncanny.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on December 06, 2015, 05:51:14 PM
What's the second image??
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ArcaneArtsVelho on December 06, 2015, 08:01:40 PM
What's the second image??
Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II.
Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: m3mnoch on December 06, 2015, 08:09:32 PM
i...

well...

maybe...

yeah, i got nothing more than "wow".
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ilke on December 09, 2015, 07:37:51 PM
I find these two pretty horrible as they board onto uncanny valley. I've put links to the newer and better ones if you click them.
(http://marimoenholsve.com/i/Rasp.jpg) (http://marimoenholsve.com/i/Rasp2012.jpg)(https://static.bokelskere.no/27b97ca6a0fba588584d1670f1ce95d34de02a513462fc2089154149.jpeg) (https://www.cappelendamm.no/sek-asset/external-resources/highres/product/9788202384074.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on December 09, 2015, 08:08:32 PM
I find these two pretty horrible as they board onto uncanny valley. I've put links to the newer and better ones if you click them.
(http://marimoenholsve.com/i/Rasp.jpg) (http://marimoenholsve.com/i/Rasp2012.jpg)(https://static.bokelskere.no/27b97ca6a0fba588584d1670f1ce95d34de02a513462fc2089154149.jpeg) (https://www.cappelendamm.no/sek-asset/external-resources/highres/product/9788202384074.jpg)

Boy, those were really better in the new versions.  The old were just... wrong.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on December 09, 2015, 08:42:56 PM
I see the insufficient skill at pulling it of, but I think the creative idea behind them is not quite bad.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ilke on December 10, 2015, 04:59:06 PM
These aren't ugly, but just doesn't fit the inside of the book for being too cute compared to the story (which will rip your heart out and step on it until it bleeds, throw it into the freezer then burn it and... yeah). As the previous will links lead to original covers. And the books mostly take place around in Europe in the 19th century, so what's jeans doing there? And t-shirts? (seriously the bloody ocean though, wut  :o)
(http://cdx.darrenshan.com/images/uploads/_constrain220wide/TaiwanBirthofKiller.jpg) (http://www.darrenshan.com/covers/design/birth-of-a-killer-uk-and-ireland)(http://cdx.darrenshan.com/images/uploads/_constrain220wide/Taiwan_Ocean_of_Blood.jpg) (http://www.darrenshan.com/covers/design/ocean-of-blood-uk-ireland)
(http://cdx.darrenshan.com/images/uploads/_constrain220wide/Palace_of_the_Damned_-_Taiwan.jpg) (http://www.darrenshan.com/covers/design/palace-of-the-damned-uk-ireland)(http://cdx.darrenshan.com/images/uploads/_constrain220wide/Taiwan_Brothers_To_The_Death.jpg) (http://www.darrenshan.com/covers/design/brothers-to-the-death-uk)
Torch evolves to... BROKEN STICK/Stake! Broken Stick evolves to... Short Sword! Larten dropped Short Sword.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nora on December 27, 2015, 02:05:46 PM
Found this because I was looking around for a book called deathless. Made me laugh. It's not so much the aweful cover than the title here though...

http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-Dont-Sparkle-Deathless-3/dp/1517796571/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1451224951&sr=1-5&keywords=deathless
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on December 27, 2015, 02:52:30 PM
Found this because I was looking around for a book called deathless. Made me laugh. It's not so much the aweful cover than the title here though...

http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-Dont-Sparkle-Deathless-3/dp/1517796571/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1451224951&sr=1-5&keywords=deathless

Take that, Stephanie Meyers!  ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on December 27, 2015, 03:37:05 PM
Found this because I was looking around for a book called deathless. Made me laugh. It's not so much the aweful cover than the title here though...

http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-Dont-Sparkle-Deathless-3/dp/1517796571/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1451224951&sr=1-5&keywords=deathless

Take that, Stephanie Meyers!  ;D
I thought that, because I caught that scene the other day while channel hopping, hehe
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on December 28, 2015, 01:32:06 AM
Yes but we are Europeans, American fantasy readers probable love them  ;D

I'm American, and I'm not thrilled with those covers. I've seen worse, but those are pretty bad. They wouldn't lead me to pick up the books.

Of course, does it really matter what cover you put on those? Nearly all the readers of the Tawny Man trilogy have already read the Farseer trilogy. They love Hobb's stories and would read the next one even if it had no cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on January 10, 2016, 07:54:42 PM
L'Oreal's new shampoo, Steampunk Pirate, because you're worth it.
(http://www.fantasybookcafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Winterwood-Giveaway.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 10, 2016, 09:38:23 PM
L'Oreal's new shampoo, Steampunk Pirate, because you're worth it.
(http://www.fantasybookcafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Winterwood-Giveaway.jpg)

She can shiver me timbers any day.

*I'll get my coat.*
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on January 10, 2016, 10:33:35 PM
She can shiver me timbers any day.

*I'll get my coat.*
Walk the plank matey.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ArcaneArtsVelho on January 11, 2016, 10:22:08 AM
She can shiver me timbers any day.
Cap? Is that you?  :-\

 ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on January 11, 2016, 11:56:53 AM
She can shiver me timbers any day.
Cap? Is that you?  :-\

 ;D

A voice from Davey Jones Locker...............
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nora on January 11, 2016, 01:21:52 PM
A good cover doesn't make up for a poor story...  :P
In this case I'd say that the cover (and author name) lured me in, but the charm did not hold long.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mark Lawrence on January 12, 2016, 07:50:03 PM
(https://static.wixstatic.com/media/9f13e6_ff31e8f35fe4436a8b29b09c347e8a5f.png/v1/fit/w_274,h_366,usm_0.50_1.20_0.00/9f13e6_ff31e8f35fe4436a8b29b09c347e8a5f.png)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Rostum on January 12, 2016, 07:54:54 PM
^
Only appropriate if it's about suspension engineering. No artists in the office but the intern....
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on January 12, 2016, 07:59:23 PM
(https://static.wixstatic.com/media/9f13e6_ff31e8f35fe4436a8b29b09c347e8a5f.png/v1/fit/w_274,h_366,usm_0.50_1.20_0.00/9f13e6_ff31e8f35fe4436a8b29b09c347e8a5f.png)

I think that might win. It's not bad on the eyes or anything, but it tells you absolutely nothing about the book.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on January 13, 2016, 10:41:02 PM
I can't actually read the title!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on January 18, 2016, 09:06:19 AM
(https://www.blackgate.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Devil-or-Angel-and-Other-Stories.jpg)
This is not just terrible, it's only from last year.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on January 18, 2016, 09:15:11 AM
^ They do mention "old style"... ::)
Guarantee for people not to pick this book up hehe
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on January 31, 2016, 06:28:25 PM
I've just seen Philip Jose Farmer covers  :o thanks to Mark Hodder who I'm following on Goodreads
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on February 04, 2016, 12:26:54 PM
I don't think these are really bad covers. I think they are actually pretty good covers. But for Lord of the Rings?

(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333827447l/165488.jpg) (https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333827937l/1642730.jpg) (https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333828444l/1642721.jpg)

The eye in the ring, sure. But those worms? And pigeons?
And why, oh why, this green?

This is what would be for many Germans the definite edition of Lord of the Ring. Instantly recognizable. But there's something very wrong with them.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on February 04, 2016, 12:32:03 PM
 ;D
That is just so weird.
And you need this 8) to look at them, that fluorescent green!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on February 04, 2016, 12:46:37 PM
It's not quite as garish under natural light, but it clearly stands out from everything else on your bookshelf and you can identify it from the other end of a train car.  ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on February 04, 2016, 12:58:57 PM
Yep, kinda iconic. I have them too (the new translation sucks, so I advise everybody to go look for the old ones).
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on February 04, 2016, 01:03:27 PM
I'd think Tolkien would have been disapproving. What a truly strange set of images.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Saraband on February 04, 2016, 01:09:51 PM
I don't think these are really bad covers. I think they are actually pretty good covers. But for Lord of the Rings?

(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333827447l/165488.jpg) (https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333827937l/1642730.jpg) (https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333828444l/1642721.jpg)


(http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_super/11115/111150904/3827954-2961100949-a9917.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on February 05, 2016, 03:52:39 AM
I'd think Tolkien would have been disapproving. What a truly strange set of images.

They are dreadful and how do they relate to the books, apart from the Eye?  make me shiver to look at.
Title: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on February 05, 2016, 06:35:44 AM
I bet they are  among the best fantasy book covers in 1970's Germany. ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on March 03, 2016, 09:18:35 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcpuCIdWoAERxJX.jpg:large)

Most impressed by the Eagle's butt in this, and the shock of the man opposite him, in the speech bubble I imagine: "Behold! My mighty Eagle Butt!" #eaglebutt

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on March 03, 2016, 09:21:10 PM
Mr.J, you always find great covers ;D (plus comments!)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Rukaio_Alter on March 03, 2016, 09:31:12 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcpuCIdWoAERxJX.jpg:large)

Most impressed by the Eagle's butt in this, and the shock of the man opposite him, in the speech bubble I imagine: "Behold! My mighty Eagle Butt!" #eaglebutt
I prefer the guy in the background with the bored, seen-it-all expression, as if to say "Really, Kevin? The Eagle Butt again?"
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: night_wrtr on March 03, 2016, 09:32:10 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcpuCIdWoAERxJX.jpg:large)

Most impressed by the Eagle's butt in this, and the shock of the man opposite him, in the speech bubble I imagine: "Behold! My mighty Eagle Butt!" #eaglebutt



Even the raven can't stop looking.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on March 03, 2016, 11:37:12 PM
Raven's love shiny things, especially Eagle butts (they don't, it's a different bird) (and even that is a myth anyway)

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: CameronJohnston on March 04, 2016, 12:35:50 PM
Most impressive. Throwing fairy lights into the air really beforehand adds pizzazz to the change effect.

I think I have this exact version somewhere.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on March 04, 2016, 01:35:21 PM
Meanwhile, did anyone notice that the characters are not dark-skinned as described in the book?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: DrNefario on March 04, 2016, 01:52:37 PM
Whitewashed, like about 90% of all Earthsea covers featuring people. And the Ghibli film.

Although to be fair, I don't think I noticed what colour Ged's skin was supposed to be until Tombs of Atuan.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Phoenix on March 04, 2016, 03:50:02 PM
Lol this one  ;D
https://www.google.com/search?q=worst+fantasy+book+covers&biw=1152&bih=735&tbm=isch&imgil=uPNM3xTmZW6EpM%253A%253Bcl8mwVR4lkmXrM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Ffantasy-faction.com%25252Fforum%25252Ffantasy-book-discussion%25252Fworst-fantasy-book-cover-ever%25252F150%25252F&source=iu&pf=m&fir=uPNM3xTmZW6EpM%253A%252Ccl8mwVR4lkmXrM%252C_&usg=__AW7nfK1-NpbVfWRJme8ZJLevOc8%3D (https://www.google.com/search?q=worst+fantasy+book+covers&biw=1152&bih=735&tbm=isch&imgil=uPNM3xTmZW6EpM%253A%253Bcl8mwVR4lkmXrM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Ffantasy-faction.com%25252Fforum%25252Ffantasy-book-discussion%25252Fworst-fantasy-book-cover-ever%25252F150%25252F&source=iu&pf=m&fir=uPNM3xTmZW6EpM%253A%252Ccl8mwVR4lkmXrM%252C_&usg=__AW7nfK1-NpbVfWRJme8ZJLevOc8%3D)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Arry on March 04, 2016, 03:52:42 PM

Lol this one  ;D
(http://fantasy-faction.com/forum/data:image/jpeg;base64,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)

The link is broken. I tried to fix it, but couldn't find what it was meant to point to
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on March 04, 2016, 05:53:11 PM
I can't even figure out what that Earthsea cover has to do with the book. I didn't even like the book all that much, and I feel that cover is doing it a disservice.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on July 23, 2016, 12:46:30 PM
(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1289045970l/9528174.jpg)

Is this just me but does the Hero look like some 80's rock star
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: night_wrtr on July 23, 2016, 12:52:24 PM
That could totally be Bret Michaels.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: G_R_Matthews on July 23, 2016, 08:15:12 PM
(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1289045970l/9528174.jpg)

Is this just me but does the Hero look like some 80's rock star

Perhaps he's about to break into a rendition of Europe's Final Countdown?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 23, 2016, 09:03:14 PM
Perhaps he's about to break into a rendition of Europe's Final Countdown?
I totally thought that ;D
(must be our age...)

Although his hair hasn't got enough volume 8)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: tebakutis on July 24, 2016, 03:19:13 AM
Perhaps he's about to break into a rendition of Europe's Final Countdown?
I totally thought that ;D
(must be our age...)

Although his hair hasn't got enough volume 8)

Whenever anyone mentions that song, this becomes pertinent.

The Final (Teen Spirit) Countdown by Wax Audio
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rr06IyWMf4Y[/youtube]
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 24, 2016, 06:54:23 AM
Oh gosh, that is really good!
I hadn't watched Nirvana in ages... when did I change enough to think that Kurt looks really young? Poor guy :-\
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on July 24, 2016, 11:16:36 AM
Oh gosh, that is really good!
I hadn't watched Nirvana in ages... when did I change enough to think that Kurt looks really young? Poor guy :-\
Seeing so much Nirvana atm, two songs they did (although one wasn't their's but still) used in two different trailers for things.

I'm completely fine with that though.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on July 24, 2016, 06:15:38 PM
(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327895166l/7378426.jpg)

(https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1388721604l/20422761.jpg)

Okay I'm onto book 3, I've added book one as well for those interested
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mythago on July 25, 2016, 06:57:14 PM
These covers are both hilarious and fantastic! How about this one?
(https://postimg.org/image/rj5ivbd4x/)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mythago on July 25, 2016, 06:58:39 PM
Sorry - this one should work:
(https://s32.postimg.org/rj5ivbd4x/408309_4183884030862_1001237559_n.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/rj5ivbd4x/)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 25, 2016, 07:50:55 PM
^ I'm more concerned about the title :o ;D

And Eclipse, I saw your second cover 'live' today! I thought they were american covers... sorry :-[
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on July 25, 2016, 07:59:52 PM
^ I'm more concerned about the title :o ;D
Bet I know who are servants of the wankh ;)

Nudge nudge, say no more.

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 25, 2016, 08:09:23 PM
^ I'm more concerned about the title :o ;D
Bet I know who are servants of the wankh ;)

Nudge nudge, say no more.
Teenage boys? ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Mr.J on July 25, 2016, 08:10:24 PM
^ I'm more concerned about the title :o ;D
Bet I know who are servants of the wankh ;)

Nudge nudge, say no more.
Teenage boys? ;D
Especially them, but mostly everyone.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on July 25, 2016, 09:53:52 PM
Is that a real name of the book or is it photoshop malarkey?

Sam Sykes is quite a talented author,I just think his covers have let him down personally maybe he was being ironic  as The Aeon Gate is a fun adventure story which is over the top on purpose with it's characters, basically its a D&D story on acid.Each novel of the trilogy is 700 pages long  200 pages longer then it should be I would recommend it  to people who used to read forgotten realm novels.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on July 25, 2016, 10:25:57 PM
Is that a real name of the book or is it photoshop malarkey?


It was the real name when it first came out in 1969. Vance was eventually convinced to change it for future editions, he was at the time unaware of the British/Commonwealth slang term.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on November 26, 2016, 12:19:07 AM
 ;D ;D From @PulpLibrarian on Twitter, who is well worth following for worst book covers and other funny old stuff

Quote
Öh good, Maths AND Conjunctivitis

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/2784810572_26efde7b56_o.jpg)

Quote
"Look guys, I'm kinda busy here. Just give me the leaflet ok..."

(https://unsubscribedblog.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/badger-fane-unknown-destiny.jpg)

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on November 27, 2016, 06:02:53 PM
Wow, that second one is incredibly bad, bigoted, and phallic.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on February 13, 2017, 09:58:22 PM
Reviving this thread for @Peat, after our conversation.
You should post the ones you were talking about!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Peat on February 13, 2017, 10:34:45 PM
Forgive me @Nighteyes, but I'm stealing your contribution. Maybe he's posted it before but I figure its so awful as to be worth posting again

(http://www.lspace.de/books/covers/pic_tpdwwsusroc.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on February 13, 2017, 10:41:24 PM
^That is horrendous. Desecration.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Peat on February 13, 2017, 11:01:18 PM
That's the work of Darrell Sweet, most famous for Wheel of Time. He does a better job there but there's still a few odd ones, like this one straight from Mills & Boon...

(http://www.dragonmount.com/forums/uploads/gallery/album_152/gallery_2_152_12382.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Nighteyes on February 13, 2017, 11:24:04 PM
Anyone newish to the forum, I order to read the entire thread now.  And then report back on your fave worst.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Peat on February 14, 2017, 12:56:47 AM
Dude, there's a whole evening's worth there. The ESP Worm one is fantastically awful as is the German one of Magician.

Speaking of Feist, one of the covers that tonight's impromptu coven spotted in Foyles that led to this thread's resurrection -

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41wBuxfD2HL._SX325_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)

What's up with making it the world's worst Twilight imitator? Who actually wants to read a book about two veiny hands with some bling? Although the good news is I don't think the book has anything to do with the cover. Although maybe that's the bad news.

And its not even the worst cover the book's ever had!

(http://images.gr-assets.com/books/1389586786l/13881.jpg)

p.s. On the subject of the Wheel of Time's cover art

http://thewertzone.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/wheel-of-time-art-off-part-1.html

http://thewertzone.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/wheel-of-time-art-off-part-2.html
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on February 14, 2017, 08:50:17 AM
After having seen some of these I am now crying, "My eyes. My EYES!" (Especially the ones at the front) I know the old proverbs told us not to judge books by their covers, but with some of these covers I would probably dismiss the books upon a first glance.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on July 01, 2017, 03:24:03 PM
(https://dyn0.media.forbiddenplanet.com/products/3954164.jpg.size-600_maxheight-600_square-true.jpg)

Now this one doesn't excite me at all
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: abatch on July 03, 2017, 04:37:50 AM
I almost didn't buy this book because of its cover, and I think the man has an effing mullet! Thankfully, it's true: you CAN'T judge a book by its cover.

(http://encyclopediamalazica.pbworks.com/f/GotM+SFBC+HC.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on July 03, 2017, 08:11:14 AM
Wow, that's the worst malazan cover, I've ever seen.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 03, 2017, 08:35:35 AM
Wow, that's the worst malazan cover, I've ever seen.
Seconded, just expanding it to "one of the worst covers I've ever seen" :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on July 03, 2017, 01:47:09 PM
Wow, that's the worst malazan cover, I've ever seen.
Seconded, just expanding it to "one of the worst covers I've ever seen" :o

That's the version I read.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: abatch on July 03, 2017, 10:05:39 PM
Looks more like a Harlequin Romance. I'm glad I took the risk though, despite the cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on July 04, 2017, 12:26:05 AM
Looks more like a Harlequin Romance. I'm glad I took the risk though, despite the cover.

Yeah, I've never understood the whole thing of women on fantasy covers wearing armor that won't protect them very well just so they can show off their bodies. Seems impractical to me.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Fallen One on July 11, 2017, 10:53:24 AM
Looks more like a Harlequin Romance. I'm glad I took the risk though, despite the cover.

Yeah, I've never understood the whole thing of women on fantasy covers wearing armor that won't protect them very well just so they can show off their bodies. Seems impractical to me.

 Well, as the saying goes, sex sells. Even if it is at the cost of practicality.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Peat on July 11, 2017, 12:12:55 PM
(https://dyn0.media.forbiddenplanet.com/products/3954164.jpg.size-600_maxheight-600_square-true.jpg)

Now this one doesn't excite me at all

Okay. That's bad. Really bad. What the hell does "Deals in Shadows even mean anyway?" Are people scared of his glowy sickle?

And crucially, is he about to do the Macarena?

I almost didn't buy this book because of its cover, and I think the man has an effing mullet! Thankfully, it's true: you CAN'T judge a book by its cover.

(http://encyclopediamalazica.pbworks.com/f/GotM+SFBC+HC.jpg)

Eh, I think you can totally judge that one by its cover. Its Epic Fantasy from the early 80s/90s - impractical armour and good looks all round. I'd totally buy a book with that cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on July 23, 2017, 06:08:36 PM
This was on my Goodread feed

(https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1470679258l/12806429.jpg)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 23, 2017, 06:43:28 PM
Ohmygawd!
I don't know whether to laugh or cry :P
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: G_R_Matthews on July 23, 2017, 09:20:51 PM
Ohmygawd!
I don't know whether to laugh or cry :P

Laugh... I can't bear to see you cry!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on July 24, 2017, 06:02:45 AM
This was on my Goodread feed

(https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1470679258l/12806429.jpg)

I think we have a winner!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Justan Henner on July 24, 2017, 06:21:29 AM
*Hides his microscope and spectacles*

 :'(
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on July 24, 2017, 07:52:05 AM
Wow... I thought that usually there are half-naked guys only on the cover of romance novels, not fantasy ones. The microscopes and spectacles looked so out of place too...   ::)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on July 24, 2017, 07:53:03 AM
*Hides his microscope and spectacles*

 :'(
This really made me laugh out loud!!! ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on July 24, 2017, 03:26:19 PM
(https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1434496742l/25740620.jpg)

Maybe I'm not the target audience, but this cover is not making me want to read the book at all.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: tebakutis on July 24, 2017, 07:20:40 PM
(https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1434496742l/25740620.jpg)

Maybe I'm not the target audience, but this cover is not making me want to read the book at all.

You can love your dragon. Just don't love your dragon.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on August 06, 2017, 02:34:45 PM
(https://dyn0.media.forbiddenplanet.com/products/3936276.jpg.size-285_maxheight-285_square-true.jpg)

Okay guess what the story is about based on the cover

Jason Thanou has fought for the continued existence of humanity across the centuries.

As a special operations officer of the Temporal Regulatory Authority, he’s traveled though time to thwart the Transhumanists-genetically and mechanically enhanced beings that seek to destroy humanity-and their alien allies, the Teloi.

But for all his work, the Transhumanist Underground has never been defeated. In possession of the same time travel technology as the Temporal Regulatory Authority, the Transhumanists have been busy planting “time bombs” throughout recorded history.

Time bombs that are set to go off on The Day, when the secret history the Transhumanists have planted will be revealed, resulting in the overthrow of humanity.

Now, Jason Thanou, along with fellow TRA agents Alexandre Mondrago and Father Julian Casinde, must travel through Earth’s bloody history to ensure the survival of the human race.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on August 06, 2017, 03:48:30 PM
(https://dyn0.media.forbiddenplanet.com/products/3936276.jpg.size-285_maxheight-285_square-true.jpg)

Okay guess what the story is about based on the cover

Jason Thanou has fought for the continued existence of humanity across the centuries.

As a special operations officer of the Temporal Regulatory Authority, he’s traveled though time to thwart the Transhumanists-genetically and mechanically enhanced beings that seek to destroy humanity-and their alien allies, the Teloi.

But for all his work, the Transhumanist Underground has never been defeated. In possession of the same time travel technology as the Temporal Regulatory Authority, the Transhumanists have been busy planting “time bombs” throughout recorded history.

Time bombs that are set to go off on The Day, when the secret history the Transhumanists have planted will be revealed, resulting in the overthrow of humanity.

Now, Jason Thanou, along with fellow TRA agents Alexandre Mondrago and Father Julian Casinde, must travel through Earth’s bloody history to ensure the survival of the human race.

Baen isn't exactly known for great covers, but this is a special level of terrible. If I were the author, I'd be embarrassed to have my name on this cover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on August 06, 2017, 04:01:35 PM
Bad covers are a not insignificant factor in the consideration of picking a publisher.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Peat on August 10, 2017, 06:33:48 AM
While trying to remember a book title I saw recently, I stumbled across this beauty by accident.

https://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Bear-Book-Berserkers-Saga-ebook/dp/B007TQEMTI
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on October 26, 2017, 04:46:12 PM
(https://www.blackgate.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/The-Power-of-the-Sapphire-Wand.jpg)

They are still making these.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on October 27, 2017, 06:18:19 PM
(https://dyn0.media.forbiddenplanet.com/products/4087700.jpg.size-600_maxheight-600_square-true.jpg)

one for @Lady Ty

delightful new urban fantasy about a kitchen witch and her magical family.

Daphne “Daffy” Rose Wallace Deschants has an ideal suburban life–three wonderful and talented children; a coffee shop and bakery, owned and run with her best friend; a nearly perfect husband, Gabriel, or “G” to his friends and family. Life could hardly be better.

But G’s perfection hides dangerous secrets. When Daffy uncovers evidence of his infidelity, her perfect life seems to be in ruins. On their wedding anniversary, Daffy prepares to confront him, only to be stopped in her tracks when he foils a mugging attempt using wizard-level magic.

Suddenly, Daphne is part of a world she never imagined–where her husband is not a traveling troubleshooter for a software company, but the sheriff of the International Guild of Wizards, and her brilliant children are also budding magicians. Even she herself is not just a great baker and barista–she’s actually a kitchen witch. And her discovery of her powers is only just beginnning.

But even the midst of her chaotic new life, another problem is brewing. G’s ex-wife, a dangerous witch, has escaped from her magical prison. Revenge-bent and blind, she needs the eyes of her son to restore her sight–the son Daffy has raised as her own since he was a year old. Now Daphne must find a way to harness her new powers and protect her family–or risk losing everything she holds dear.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on October 27, 2017, 07:11:48 PM
I actually like that cover. Looks pretty good to me.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on October 27, 2017, 07:27:21 PM
I actually like that cover. Looks pretty good to me.
:o :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on October 27, 2017, 07:30:10 PM
Character doesn't look freakishly and there's a nice use of color. What's wrong with that?
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: tebakutis on October 27, 2017, 07:34:29 PM
Character doesn't look freakishly and there's a nice use of color. What's wrong with that?

I'm with Yora here. That's actually ... a decent cover. I immediately got "hmm, must have something to do with magical baking" the moment I saw it, and sure enough, in the back cover text

Quote
...Even she herself is not just a great baker and barista–she’s actually a kitchen witch. And her discovery of her powers is only just beginnning.

So the cover looks fairly professional (to me) and instantly tells me one of the novel things about the book (magical cooking, really?) Can't complain, honestly.

Maybe @Eclipse is just trolling us :p
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on October 27, 2017, 10:18:24 PM
 ;D ;D ;D @Eclipse is definitely trolling me
 The cover makes my eyes bleed and the mention of domesticity and infidelity and acharacter named Daffy would make me run a mile ::)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: JMack on October 28, 2017, 02:05:51 PM
Yes, Daffy is a crap name. But... if this was really well-written, it could be sort of fun.  Though I’d prefer a story in which she is not a witch but has to deal with this switch in her life without running things into a ditch when she has to deal with the ex-wife bitch.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Elfy on October 29, 2017, 01:03:38 AM
Yeah don't really mind that cover. It seems to fit with the blurb. I think her name being Daffy is part of the fun, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: cupiscent on October 29, 2017, 02:53:39 AM
Gee-whiz, G's a wizard?!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on January 27, 2018, 03:45:54 AM
*anticipatory drum roll* Guys, I think I've just won the competition. *rounds of applause and hooray* I know, I know, I'm famous now.

My publisher had just sent me these two alternatives for the cover of my first novella. Anddd I was breathless...

PS. How do I talk to them about this? I ultimately value the relationship I had with the publisher, since they are the only guys willing to publish my tidbits of writing.

EDIT: Argh I can't even attach the files here. Does this link work?: https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/1612f97364723f56?projector=1



Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on January 27, 2018, 08:12:51 AM
No Inks, that just took me to my own email. Don’t know how to attach photos, but someone here will help.  Really sorry you are in state of disappointment, also very curious to see covers.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on January 27, 2018, 09:03:01 AM
Inks, you need to upload them to Google Photos, then there you right click the photo and copy the address, and then here use the 'mona lisa' button (second from left) to post the photo.

By the way, on G-Photos, if you use their option 'get link' or something similar, it doesn't work - I've tried a few times, it needs to be the long address you get from the method above.

I'm really curious now!!
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on January 27, 2018, 12:42:19 PM
I hope this works!: (https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/_i1HSLPPomh1EU5ZjlwdMc0lV9KWvKrbNKwzTSNpREuesdTMLn1Qw1d3wE0Rm6UMU7TZTCTVUFFr1KWXzCoaQyse6vxvKkkncAm4HYUtelRq06vBuX7I9mqptQvuwXTRNM0N8f5vO13e4ptR-H8UTWNQ5Sm2F5wtSIc4k-giDIYITjOaIckKiM6CTGQqfJpcXTsXqklKy0bpXCO1czRfXRiE9w2S5Ot32NQJkSyNroTm1reUCjBGBJqm2Xnx3PvLVvbJB3nNw6J4wug2QtqOAfxCy5BAT-jbrgMvusZcF8B3IyybkrgxFA_APY5hXwyZyIFybdiKuYK8rAhFBqW0qa-N-iiiN2tdghM5eQxOxBPZDGpbQPHI36ekOzAvDWbiDQ_m8iEvQWNtLWjUlpk6yIVzC5tBZX7zOXAN3jc7rd28BwYLYRyXo8YswOoFVu8t4QYEVmlCx9_4cMVBsY6G48rPG9AylckQlkkUJCJYPQA5t-SVpze64gL_NPxApdvvBjaGJzJGOw-mtchUAZkQeI0ZOxj6h-5v-3KEU8YDppYUA3vvH77RtkeyjGipk-tTADu9otKtHJ7iT9OxmJ-zIbqbnhwEclmTRhByzI0=w428-h637-no)

And this:

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/HIelHRyDSSlU475Ye4ibA65wpbJIwpC-NGg09WLiGz-XeYNAP_-jHBGDSD358I-8NNAmD65ISvd30Rm-6IczxDZJKbH83zirtp5Th41B-lJawWTZbg67hyKzuDcOAY5Orzf8lhk7X3AFDVWUlBqebTmIuvpVnzZ8nXCWAhXz_alwy4vHIMMDSAtpOkwHayLf_Vp9tQn8ZWGU3rJIa9GgSOafJa3i7LXFzb4udM51tw9TRAe0hJ3W5xGKspzux54H3wCbl6WKA42pa9eD5ixKuUnWkHOyYr0Aen4pAXfab_Tixx1e6h7k2IeTJ-M9MRlsLJ9GdsjVYQjbBj7cQUoMi8zFVob2OTyxvajIWEhfMHwacO_Svav4XWtCfUgfr-AndjNVle0i8u1CunvVNqolF6jZkpTA12E94g09qztOL59xW7pijvAZR3cdxTrkVyFasUK07Rp_gUtFbiL65CTDod1Mqf9Z_jkrwcsphJuZV7teuD4UsRJAwY283S9rHCNyMUBobmSV6DPXayjL79LnRXfHDYH0s9y6t3WeSv44nm0dkW7q9Os0WA7QwQ2PuN6XGUeMcV0ypFlt9cio5s64H1vwUBidqRLgdGTvzLc=w428-h637-no)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on January 27, 2018, 01:55:41 PM
You'd forgotten the IMG button so I added it, but it seems to be private, I just see a big forbidden sign. I'll check again when I get home, it could be only the cafe wifi I'm in.

Edit: strange, I can't see your photos at home either.

Testing, can you see my photo?
(the format of the address is the same as you have)

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/LOt1xC1RvgUVcoe_cPnBUGZSdBKU_2XjPJwk8tLYtkLiEhfUX2aMrB245NyPziR3lJjzxk1wTmtaNpyJetSnvHfcovOxQSyI7bu-UhaoZFsISjWFPSmmObUa_q5VX98PLafrMIQjzc6PF39Bd5xd2v416mw0gDiOIxOWuzmoYfE8HPmldPN_WsDMnLE76Gnare364UZ9jQNOtDs9z0WXKOoIRti47PnCbnzQxH6MoWZy90M85W5J3-6H32aA27v8lGcOKipvYEfpatfFM6qyuxEq2aWyDhMIqkEpkqheU6Ajb7OmA5DgEGxecEvZSjJJ8jbbzedoQA_Fjby6ENztTCr2Yt9t8MgksZ0YW2Y4uuXzfvjKWVmrcCYe05hP9-RUZsKcoY6IWPdXqBET0zZxy6EA_tHjVNk5V0yUCgHEQQVD9gKZ36OSAybFwfSWdWNkPCsdZ0nGnP8kL-Ruu2fcvBOGKzSEOuRaEVV1ucm_stUsazTeNwOihn5vfaTkvMmnJt-brTw0xdDeHjqFxEoRhSnBBz9TS38kCbQuLKUOWqugsNl1DOnfur_znU8qU8t9LYkrWBImcOUbgIimyQFTUanfpufHXpeG0Dvod4s=w863-h647-no)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on January 27, 2018, 04:16:57 PM
I could. I could also see my photos. Weird!  :o
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Alex Hormann on January 27, 2018, 04:19:05 PM
I can see them. They are certainly boldly coloured.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on January 28, 2018, 04:18:15 AM
I can see them. They are certainly boldly coloured.


Someone finally sees them. Woo!  :D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Ryan Mueller on January 28, 2018, 06:28:56 AM
I can see them. They are certainly boldly coloured.


Someone finally sees them. Woo!  :D

I still can't see them, and I want to see them so badly now.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on January 28, 2018, 12:50:43 PM
If this doesn't work, probably nothing will  :(  (https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/_i1HSLPPomh1EU5ZjlwdMc0lV9KWvKrbNKwzTSNpREuesdTMLn1Qw1d3wE0Rm6UMU7TZTCTVUFFr1KWXzCoaQyse6vxvKkkncAm4HYUtelRq06vBuX7I9mqptQvuwXTRNM0N8f5vO13e4ptR-H8UTWNQ5Sm2F5wtSIc4k-giDIYITjOaIckKiM6CTGQqfJpcXTsXqklKy0bpXCO1czRfXRiE9w2S5Ot32NQJkSyNroTm1reUCjBGBJqm2Xnx3PvLVvbJB3nNw6J4wug2QtqOAfxCy5BAT-jbrgMvusZcF8B3IyybkrgxFA_APY5hXwyZyIFybdiKuYK8rAhFBqW0qa-N-iiiN2tdghM5eQxOxBPZDGpbQPHI36ekOzAvDWbiDQ_m8iEvQWNtLWjUlpk6yIVzC5tBZX7zOXAN3jc7rd28BwYLYRyXo8YswOoFVu8t4QYEVmlCx9_4cMVBsY6G48rPG9AylckQlkkUJCJYPQA5t-SVpze64gL_NPxApdvvBjaGJzJGOw-mtchUAZkQeI0ZOxj6h-5v-3KEU8YDppYUA3vvH77RtkeyjGipk-tTADu9otKtHJ7iT9OxmJ-zIbqbnhwEclmTRhByzI0=w428-h637-no)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Alex Hormann on January 28, 2018, 12:57:42 PM
I can see them. They are certainly boldly coloured.


Someone finally sees them. Woo!  :D


Weirdly, they have now disappeared for me as well.

if it helps anyone visualise them, one was a neon green horsehead and the other was a pencil-drawn chimera on a solid yellow background.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on January 28, 2018, 03:01:03 PM
if it helps anyone visualise them, one was a neon green horsehead and the other was a pencil-drawn chimera on a solid yellow background.
:o :o
Now I wonder what your story is about ;D
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: xiagan on January 28, 2018, 03:33:15 PM
If this doesn't work, probably nothing will  :(

This is what you put between the [ img] tags:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/_i1HSLPPomh1EU5ZjlwdMc0lV9KWvKrbNKwzTSNpREuesdTMLn1Qw1d3wE0Rm6UMU7TZTCTVUFFr1KWXzCoaQyse6vxvKkkncAm4HYUtelRq06vBuX7I9mqptQvuwXTRNM0N8f5vO13e4ptR-H8UTWNQ5Sm2F5wtSIc4k-giDIYITjOaIckKiM6CTGQqfJpcXTsXqklKy0bpXCO1czRfXRiE9w2S5Ot32NQJkSyNroTm1reUCjBGBJqm2Xnx3PvLVvbJB3nNw6J4wug2QtqOAfxCy5BAT-jbrgMvusZcF8B3IyybkrgxFA_APY5hXwyZyIFybdiKuYK8rAhFBqW0qa-N-iiiN2tdghM5eQxOxBPZDGpbQPHI36ekOzAvDWbiDQ_m8iEvQWNtLWjUlpk6yIVzC5tBZX7zOXAN3jc7rd28BwYLYRyXo8YswOoFVu8t4QYEVmlCx9_4cMVBsY6G48rPG9AylckQlkkUJCJYPQA5t-SVpze64gL_NPxApdvvBjaGJzJGOw-mtchUAZkQeI0ZOxj6h-5v-3KEU8YDppYUA3vvH77RtkeyjGipk-tTADu9otKtHJ7iT9OxmJ-zIbqbnhwEclmTRhByzI0=w428-h637-no

Not something that looks like a normal url OR a picture. ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on January 28, 2018, 04:16:36 PM
Xia, that's the change I did in his first post. I still can't see...
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Lady Ty on January 28, 2018, 09:30:14 PM
@S.K.Inkslinger Truly sorry Inks, at one time since posting I got large space of nothing, now a large space w small shaded circlw with a minus sign in centre. Thanks Alex for a description. Must admit sounds rather bright.

Maybe those with experience can suggest help for Inks to gently convey that they are not alright, even though we can’t see them.  Here is a possible with you needing to fill in my completely random //  Not sure if they have made it clear you can only choose one of the two. I suggest you assume otherwise and write as though you can make more comment.

'Thank you for the covers you have sent me, I appreciate the chance to have input into their content. I was hoping you could use more/less blue/yellow/ red to emphasise the gentle/strong/chaotic elements of  the story and rather than a horse/ chimera I feel that  a castle on a hill/ person that features so prominently in the story would make more impact in attracting buyers, both here and overseas. I would appreciate if you could reconsider and perhaps change the cover as suggested or discuss with me further on tel.xxxxx’

You could choose a  cover style you like, send a link and suggest ‘ I think the style in this example would suit the concept of the book perfectly. Could you consider this instead?’

It may not have a chance but you can only try. I suspect they have a few artists under contract and that is their standard style. It may even be that the publisher is noticed by those covers particularly.  Asking for change may cost them money and they won't  budge. They can only say no and give you some reason, but I doubt they will not use your book just because you asked. At least worth a try. Good luck.

In the meantime you better decide which you like least in case you have no option.


OTOH, are they typical of market they are heading for?  For example US covers often seem more visual than UK which will go artistic, are Asian covers brighter and more showy?

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: S. K. Inkslinger on January 29, 2018, 09:18:06 AM
@Lady_Ty It's probably because the publisher is an extremely small one and not about the market, ahahah  ::)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: CameronJohnston on January 29, 2018, 12:57:53 PM
Really wish I could see these!  They sound...interesting.  I'm so sorry you don't like them Ink :(
I think @Lady Ty has the right of it there. It can't hurt to politely ask and suggest some alternatives. All they can do is say yes or no.

Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Yora on January 29, 2018, 05:36:44 PM
Looks to me like those images no longer exist. Those who see them probably had their browser download and store them and it's just showing the stored image without checking if the original is still on the server.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: J.R. Darewood on January 30, 2018, 03:39:12 AM
Inkers-- if you email them to me I can prolly upload them for you.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on June 22, 2019, 06:27:56 PM
(https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/5qJTPnWZZCmW0KaXtIUv-T9kLmuuCPWYoL7je5s6eBq7o1x0udTeKE87006UCp7lUr4U5BTQ4UAeZrJKl1y5mn2bEz00ITGSI4vfzCYpxxitmSOE_WhYGybB8qR67GjBj1DbqHn8utkBTlwn=s0-d-e1-ft#https://media.forbiddenplanet.com/products/95/e0/57c3a627ca940394dc228e30a3ba5468b3f6.jpg)

 ;)
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: ScarletBea on June 22, 2019, 07:14:42 PM
  :o :o
*what* is that??
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: Eclipse on June 22, 2019, 07:47:16 PM
  :o :o
*what* is that??

Power struggles. Bitter rivalries. Jealousy. Betrayals. Star-crossed lovers. When you consider all these plot points, it's pretty surprising William Shakespeare didn't write Mean Girls. But now fans can treat themselves to the epic drama--and heroic hilarity--of the classic teen comedy rendered with the wit, flair, and iambic pentameter of the Bard. Our heroine Cady disguises herself to infiltrate the conniving Plastics, falls for off-limits Aaron, struggles with her allegiance to newfound friends Damian and Janis, and stirs up age-old vendettas among the factions of her high school. Best-selling author Ian Doescher brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this cult classic beloved by generations of teen girls and other fans. Now, on the 15th anniversary of its release, Mean Girls is a recognized cultural phenomenon, and it's more than ready for an Elizabethan makeover.
Title: Re: Worst Fantasy Book Cover... Ever?
Post by: J.R. Darewood on June 23, 2019, 05:54:19 AM
  :o :o
*what* is that??

Power struggles. Bitter rivalries. Jealousy. Betrayals. Star-crossed lovers. When you consider all these plot points, it's pretty surprising William Shakespeare didn't write Mean Girls. But now fans can treat themselves to the epic drama--and heroic hilarity--of the classic teen comedy rendered with the wit, flair, and iambic pentameter of the Bard. Our heroine Cady disguises herself to infiltrate the conniving Plastics, falls for off-limits Aaron, struggles with her allegiance to newfound friends Damian and Janis, and stirs up age-old vendettas among the factions of her high school. Best-selling author Ian Doescher brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this cult classic beloved by generations of teen girls and other fans. Now, on the 15th anniversary of its release, Mean Girls is a recognized cultural phenomenon, and it's more than ready for an Elizabethan makeover.

This was started as an entry for this month's writing contest, but since the author went a bit long he just turned it into a book instead.