July 19, 2019, 03:42:45 PM

Author Topic: 4-Word Reviews  (Read 54044 times)

Offline tebakutis

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Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #75 on: July 20, 2015, 09:41:03 PM »
The Sword of Shannara "review" made me giggle, and I loved that book. It also occurs to me that at least some of these 4-Word Reviews would make great jacket quotes, as well.

Contributions from my recent reading list:

Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson
Superman is a jerk.

Iroshi by Cary Osborne
Psychic ninjas solve disputes.

American Craftsmen by Tom Doyle
All militaries use magic.

And an older one, since they're making an MTV show out of it.

Elfstones of Shannara by Terry Brooks
There's a demonic Terminator.

Offline JMack

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Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #76 on: July 20, 2015, 10:01:54 PM »
A Crown for Cold Silver

"Why not Cold Cobalt?" (the term cold silver never shows up in the book; cold cobalt is the nom de guerre of the main character)

"Old soldiers never die"

"When is book two?"  ;D
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
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Offline JoeWalter

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #77 on: August 02, 2015, 10:06:11 PM »
A Song of Ice and Fire
Not another Sansa Chapter

Stormlight Archive
Am I done yet?
« Last Edit: August 02, 2015, 10:13:17 PM by JoeWalter »

Offline Takoren

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #78 on: August 12, 2015, 10:18:34 PM »
First Law: Hey, Tolkien, eat this!

Wizard's First Rule: Consistency? What is that?

Stone of Tears: Richard is always right.

Blood of the Fold: Richard wrong? See above.

Temple of the Winds: Rape ALL the women!

Soul of the Fire: Evil chicken. Enough said.

Faith of the Fallen: Freaking STATUE inspires revolt.

Pillars of Creation: What's with the goat?

Naked Empire: "Hatred of moral clarity??"

A Song of Ice & Fire: Death, death, sex, DEATH

Iron Tower: A hack rewrites LOTR
"The battle's won easy and the war's won cheap
My lords seem to trust me but I'm just 18
So I'll hang their hides from the bannisters
When I take my revenge on the Lannisters
Got engaged to a Frey so I could win a free pass
Can't get with Talisa but damn dat ass
Hey, hey, I wanna be Robb Stark..."

Offline Ryan Mueller

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Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #79 on: August 13, 2015, 01:08:55 AM »
Mistborn: The Dark Lord won.

Offline tebakutis

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Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #80 on: August 13, 2015, 01:25:02 AM »
Quote
First Law: Hey, Tolkien, eat this!

Wizard's First Rule: Consistency? What is that?

Stone of Tears: Richard is always right.

Blood of the Fold: Richard wrong? See above.

Temple of the Winds: Rape ALL the women!

Soul of the Fire: Evil chicken. Enough said.

Faith of the Fallen: Freaking STATUE inspires revolt.

Pillars of Creation: What's with the goat?

Naked Empire: "Hatred of moral clarity??"

These actually made me chuckle. Well done, sir.

Offline Jonathan B Evans

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #81 on: August 13, 2015, 09:21:06 PM »
Rise of the Valiant Book 2 of Kings and Sorcerers by Morgan Rice

100% cliffhanger chapter endings

Unless 100% is cheating

Offline JMack

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Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #82 on: August 13, 2015, 10:22:50 PM »
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
www.starlit-lands.com

Offline Stephen_Stone

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #83 on: August 14, 2015, 01:56:18 AM »
The Name of the Wind:

Can it go slower?

Offline Takoren

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #84 on: August 14, 2015, 02:29:50 PM »
Quote
First Law: Hey, Tolkien, eat this!

Wizard's First Rule: Consistency? What is that?

Stone of Tears: Richard is always right.

Blood of the Fold: Richard wrong? See above.

Temple of the Winds: Rape ALL the women!

Soul of the Fire: Evil chicken. Enough said.

Faith of the Fallen: Freaking STATUE inspires revolt.

Pillars of Creation: What's with the goat?

Naked Empire: "Hatred of moral clarity??"

These actually made me chuckle. Well done, sir.
Thanks. In all fairness I like First Law and ASOIAF, but I couldn't resist ripping into SOT.
"The battle's won easy and the war's won cheap
My lords seem to trust me but I'm just 18
So I'll hang their hides from the bannisters
When I take my revenge on the Lannisters
Got engaged to a Frey so I could win a free pass
Can't get with Talisa but damn dat ass
Hey, hey, I wanna be Robb Stark..."

Offline ClintACK

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #85 on: September 03, 2015, 08:05:05 PM »

The Martian: Potato farming in tents.

The Stranger: Ain't no secrets online.

Elfstones of Shannara: Trees get no love.



Offline Yora

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #86 on: September 05, 2015, 10:46:04 AM »
The Sword of Destiny: Last Wish was better.

Offline ultamentkiller

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #87 on: September 05, 2015, 04:50:29 PM »
Dinosaur Lords: Less dinosaurs, more lords.
A Song of Ice and Fire: You like, they die.
Elantris: Damn that's gonna hurt.
Night Angel Trilogy: Next event discretely foreshadowed. If you reread that series, you will see.
First Law: Everyone's got mental problems.
Mortality Doctrine: Is this even real?
City of Stairs: Gods can be brainwashed.
City of The Lost: This zombie is heartless!
Ericc Carterr: It's always Mrs. Death.

Offline JMack

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Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #88 on: September 05, 2015, 04:52:45 PM »
Dinosaur Lords: Less dinosaurs, more lords.
A Song of Ice and Fire: You like, they die.
Elantris: Damn that's gonna hurt.
Night Angel Trilogy: Next event discretely foreshadowed. If you reread that series, you will see.
First Law: Everyone's got mental problems.
Mortality Doctrine: Is this even real?
City of Stairs: Gods can be brainwashed.
City of The Lost: This zombie is heartless!
Ericc Carterr: It's always Mrs. Death.

There are just great, and I haven't read half of these!  :D
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
You are being naive if you think that any sweet and light theme cannot be strangled and force fed it's own flesh. (Nora)
www.starlit-lands.com

Offline ClintACK

Re: 4-Word Reviews
« Reply #89 on: September 06, 2015, 08:05:01 AM »
Three Parts Dead: Gods are like corporations.
The Compleat Traveller in Black: One Nature, Many Names.
I am Not a Serial Killer: Of humans, at least.