Selected Quote:His hands are around my face, cupping it behind my ears, turning me in some sort of parabolic dish directed towards him, tuned to receive the warm radiation of his love.
I felt that was perfect to reflect their personalities: NASA scientists, dinosaur lovers and watchers of Sci-Fi channels who met and fell in love, and also the desperation at that part.
Something Awesome:The emotional aspect was the best part of the story. Specially because you built them so well. I think their situation was very well handled as well, as in surrounded by a world at war, radiation and being a shelter with each other, making them think and rethink their best moments. The letter at the end also really packed a punch.
Theme Appropriateness:Low
You asked if it theme appropriateness would make you lose a vote. I read the stories in the final week, so I forgot that the 1750 had to be
our 1750. The only thing I remembered was people talking about different calendars in the Discussion thread and I somehow thought Xia said yes.
So your reinterpretation of 1750 went fine by me, even if gave me the impression to be there just for the contest theme, not something that had a plausible reason to have changed within the story context.
Had I read it earlier and voted earlier... I think I would be conflicted. So the answer is... maybe. Probably. Then again, November had so many restrictions that one or other loose thread wouldn't really bother me.
Characterization : Very Good
The emotional aspect was the strongest part. How they cared for each other. Their little quirks. The choice Bobby had to make.
I liked how you showed things in a very implicit way, so to speak. They seemed calm, joking about dinosaurs, how their stasis pod built by them were amazing, remembering how they met, having lots of drinking and sex.
But in truth it was like soldiers going to battle making jokes to ease the tension, the probability of not returning. After all, they did had trouble with the cables. No spare parts. Slight tremors or bombings could glitch the pods.Someone could find them. Not to mention the claustrophobic feel of being in that shelter for so long. And seeing TV channels going out, leaving them even more isolated and that things were getting worse.
In short, they were terrified. Probably feeling hopeless, hence why the marathon of sex and drinking.
Eventually Bobby couldn't take it anymore and broke down (which is why that part is also my favorite quote). All that without shoving how I should feel/perceive any of those things, I hate being spoon fed.
Conflict and Tension:Very High
I'm going the opposite way of m3mnoch here. We can't have agency all the time and against everything. We do hit our Great Walls. And then we need other people's help, be it their physical support, or know-how or their emotional support.
Sometimes we do have to get carried a bit instead of carrying.
In their case, there was a nuclear war going on, an environment that was a wasteland filled with radiation. Plus their lack of resources and psychological conditions of their situation. They did what they could do and knew how to do. Anything else seemed totally out of their reach and influence.
I think the conditions of the cables being checked was a nice foreshadow. More important, I liked the underlying, discreet psychological struggle going on, like I mentioned in Characterization.
Making them both so in tune with each other can make a story lose some conflict, but it compensates in tension when bad things can or do happen with one of them, or both. The letter did that.
Also, another thing I kept thinking was Bobby's situation. Imagine waking up in such circumstances and that your pod is lost. While he said he struggled to not wake her up, I didn't think it was just to say good-bye.
He also considered it for our primordial fear of death. "Do I wake her up to see if she can help me fix it?" Even if he knew it couldn't, the urging sensation of preservation was to at least try. Then he simply enhanced her. Imagine what was going on in this guy's head.
And the other thing was: How did Bobby die? They ate and drank previously, but aside from wine, what food would last for 88 years? Did he simply starved to death? Did he suicide? Painfully or painlessly?
If he had food, considering what he did to Ellen's pod, I could see him totally eating and drinking, but heavily rationing it to leave as much as possible for her. And simply dying of old age, with years passing by, agonized without being able to talk to her and the same time, during all those years, carefully making sure nothing affected her pod.
And none of this was shown or told, it's up to you to imagine it happening. And I guess that's why I read, to sometimes imagine it my way, to make my own assumptions.
Did I already say how I hate being spoon fed? Maybe you didn't even think about these things, but I did when reading it.
So considering all that, within their specific circumstances and context, I thought they had agency, if mostly emotional control for each other's sake.
Something Confusing: ---
Addendum:I believe the letter was to be fully in italics but only the first paragraph made it.