October 26, 2020, 04:23:47 AM

Author Topic: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread  (Read 51357 times)

Offline Lordoftheword

Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #75 on: December 08, 2016, 12:29:56 AM »
@Lanko - thanks so much for the thoughtful review! It was very helpful.

You are completely right about the typo and confusion. That little bit about the grandparents and Trevor going to Mexico was supposed to be her remembering/reflecting, but I fuddled it up. Saw that after it had already been up for three weeks, and just decided to leave it. In hindsight, probably could have taken that whole bit out to begin with, but I had it in there initially to build upon Trevor's character and her mother's willingness to take his side and ignore the signs of abuse (which actually didn't end up playing a role in the story after edits).

Thanks again Lanko! I really do appreciate this :)
Author of Tournament of Hearts: The Librarian Gladiator.
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Offline m3mnoch

Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #76 on: December 08, 2016, 12:40:45 AM »
Lanko is pulling out all the great work and putting us all to shame!

yup.  he's basically a superhero.

Offline Lanko

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #77 on: December 08, 2016, 12:48:49 AM »
Lanko is pulling out all the great work and putting us all to shame!

yup.  he's basically a superhero.

Hm, maybe I should use another Lego as my avatar now  ::)

Fun fact: I don't have any Lego. Just searched for a knight picture and found one by Lego. Used two or three throughout the year. Also found out there's a Lego of everything.

Yes, I know, nobody asked  ::)
Slow and steady wins the race.

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Offline JMack

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #78 on: December 08, 2016, 12:50:04 AM »
Hmm. Did I ask for a review of Hoy Girl?
I hope I did.
I want a Lanko review.
Or did he already give me one?
I have no memory left.
Change, when it comes, will step lightly before it kicks like thunder. (GRMatthews)
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Offline Nora

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #79 on: December 08, 2016, 12:50:46 AM »
Stuff it.

Special Announcement!

Nora wrote Blink. Nora would love critics for Blink.

Anything goes, have at it! Thx.

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Offline Lanko

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #80 on: December 08, 2016, 12:51:30 AM »
Hmm. Did I ask for a review of Hoy Girl?
I hope I did.
I want a Lanko review.
Or did he already give me one?
I have no memory left.

I don't think you did, I'm doing "first come first serve".

Or maybe I missed your request in the thread.
Slow and steady wins the race.

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Offline tebakutis

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #81 on: December 08, 2016, 12:53:14 AM »
Stuff it.

Special Announcement!

Nora wrote Blink. Nora would love critics for Blink.

Anything goes, have at it! Thx.

Woo hoo!

Full disclosure: I adored Blink and voted for it. Critique away!

Offline Nora

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #82 on: December 08, 2016, 12:55:39 AM »
Stuff it.

Special Announcement!

Nora wrote Blink. Nora would love critics for Blink.

Anything goes, have at it! Thx.

Woo hoo!


Full disclosure: I adored Blink and voted for it. Critique away!



I'm wondering how long it'll take for people to notice I only ever post gifs from Hannibal, and how long for me to exhaust them. Prolly never though.
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline Lanko

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #83 on: December 08, 2016, 12:56:56 AM »
Stuff it.

Special Announcement!

Nora wrote Blink. Nora would love critics for Blink.

Anything goes, have at it! Thx.

Woo hoo!

Full disclosure: I adored Blink and voted for it. Critique away!

« Last Edit: December 08, 2016, 01:03:25 AM by Lanko »
Slow and steady wins the race.

Lanko's Year in Books 2019

Offline Nora

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #84 on: December 08, 2016, 12:57:40 AM »
Replying with Supernatural gifs is... well...
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline Lanko

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #85 on: December 08, 2016, 12:59:34 AM »
Replying with Supernatural gifs is... well...

Didn't even know it was Supernatural, never watched it.

Anyway, your character does have supernatural eyes  ::)

There. there, it's fixed now!
« Last Edit: December 08, 2016, 01:03:42 AM by Lanko »
Slow and steady wins the race.

Lanko's Year in Books 2019

Offline m3mnoch

Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #86 on: December 08, 2016, 01:03:33 AM »
Replying with Supernatural gifs is... well...

uh . . . is AWESOME?!?

i soooooo want to be jensen ackles when i grow up.

Offline Nora

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #87 on: December 08, 2016, 01:05:11 AM »






edit : wondering why m3m doesn't want to grow up to be Hannibal?
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline Lady Ty

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #88 on: December 08, 2016, 01:10:27 AM »


Definitely awesome, got my vote.
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Offline Nora

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Re: [OCT 2016] - Corpses - Critique Thread
« Reply #89 on: December 08, 2016, 01:14:02 AM »
Lazer shooting space kitten!

Please, become my grandma Lady_Ty! Not too late to adopt me!  ;D ;D

Seriously though, feel free to let me know whatever was off or confusing or could be done better, like Lanko did.
"She will need coffee soon, or molecular degeneration will set in. Her French phrasing will take over even more strongly, and soon she will dissolve into a puddle of alienation and Kierkegaardian despair."  ~ Jmack

Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty