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Author Topic: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread  (Read 7428 times)

Offline C R Alexander

Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread
« Reply #15 on: May 03, 2015, 08:53:02 PM »
Wouldn't mind a critique for my own :-).  It's one of the first pieces I've shared with others, so I am mindful that it is likely full of flaws.  I also think using three first person POVs probably added to confusion more than anything.  Still, any suggestions on what worked and what didn't, where I can improve and where (if anywhere) I'm doing okay would be appreciated.  I, of course, would be happy to do the same for others (and will for those who have already asked).

Offline Raptori

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Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread
« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2015, 12:24:36 AM »
We'd love some feedback too, of course!  :P

The only thing your story failed at, is to make me a native english speaker at the first word. If it had been the case, I would have known the double meaning of "kid".  :P
Otherwise it was pretty much perfect. I got the whole picture even if I wasn't sure if I was getting the pun, and once confirmed it makes it perfect upon re-reading.
I particularly appreciate how short and sharp you kept it. It's well balanced, nothing to add and nothing to take out.
Even better, a month after I still have a visual picture of your short (a typical swiss pasture with the Alps around) in my mind, meaning it left quite an impression.  :D
Lol darn, we'll have to try harder with that next time...

Glad you liked it so much, and great that the description worked so well for you - I guess we got something right!

I'll take a look at your story again and try to give you some critique on it when I have some spare time later this week. :)
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Offline Lady Ty

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Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2015, 02:41:29 AM »
We'd love some feedback too, of course!  :P
The only complaint I have is that this story fooled me completely. Despite the Forum affection for goats I never for one minute saw that coming, waiting for the kid perhaps to be some great future Rogue. Every action by the kid made me sorry and when he tugged at Rogue's sleeve I was nearly in tears for him. Last line perfected by "scratching the itch." :D

While it read easily and the one sided conversation sounded light and uncaring, there was still a sense of slight regret at the lifestyle he had chosen, but you knew he'd never really give it up.

I enjoyed every minute and went "Awwww " at the end as well as laughing. Thank you @Raptori and @Saurus. ;D
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Offline Raptori

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Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2015, 03:01:12 AM »
We'd love some feedback too, of course!  :P
The only complaint I have is that this story fooled me completely. Despite the Forum affection for goats I never for one minute saw that coming, waiting for the kid perhaps to be some great future Rogue. Every action by the kid made me sorry and when he tugged at Rogue's sleeve I was nearly in tears for him. Last line perfected by "scratching the itch." :D

While it read easily and the one sided conversation sounded light and uncaring, there was still a sense of slight regret at the lifestyle he had chosen, but you knew he'd never really give it up.

I enjoyed every minute and went "Awwww " at the end as well as laughing. Thank you @Raptori and @Saurus. ;D
Lol I think we wrote it just before the plague of goats arrived, fortunate timing I guess! Sounds like you got everything out of it that we intended as far as I can remember, so that's very satisfying. We haven't written much dialogue yet so it was a little outside our comfort zone, it's great to hear that people enjoyed it. :)
« Last Edit: May 04, 2015, 07:42:56 AM by Raptori »
I wish the world was flat like the old days, then I could travel just by folding a map.

Offline ArcaneArtsVelho

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Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2015, 04:09:51 PM »
Wouldn't mind a critique for my own :-).  It's one of the first pieces I've shared with others, so I am mindful that it is likely full of flaws.  I also think using three first person POVs probably added to confusion more than anything.  Still, any suggestions on what worked and what didn't, where I can improve and where (if anywhere) I'm doing okay would be appreciated.  I, of course, would be happy to do the same for others (and will for those who have already asked).
I could have a crack at critiquing your story, C R Alexander. It probably won't be a very in-depth critique because I haven't done one before in this context, but I'll try to find a few things I can say something constructive about. I'll post it here at some point later this week or early next week at the latest. (If you would rather have it privately, please tell me here or via Personal Message.)

EDIT: I (finally) sent the critique via PM, as you hadn't been on the forum to answer whether you wanted it private or not.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2015, 12:57:43 PM by ArcaneArtsVelho »
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Offline wakarimasen

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Re: [Mar 2015] - Rogues - Critique Thread
« Reply #20 on: May 10, 2015, 05:02:19 PM »
Rats... Only just found this thread. I'm all up for any critique of my stuff... It all helps, brutal or kind. I'll try an chime in with some critique on some of the stories, but might have to stick with the more recent comps... Already find it hard to remember these ones...