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Author Topic: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20  (Read 9153 times)

Online ScarletBea

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #30 on: June 10, 2016, 12:06:34 PM »
Book 2 has got a kick-ass woman. Just saying ;D
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Offline G_R_Matthews

Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #31 on: June 10, 2016, 05:28:39 PM »
Oh man, I can see I'm way behind everyone else. I badly need to step up my game here.

But anyway, I'm through Chapter 20, and the story is on a steady, upwards climb.

By which I mean, it's getting more interesting. And @G_R_Matthews, I can see you're not afraid to get grim. Which is good. It keeps readers on their toes.

I find that I strongly dislike being critical of other writers, but I will say, for the benefit of future books that you or anyone else reading this write, that I feel not giving Zhou's wife and son names was a mistake. Names connect us to characters, and make them more real. Just something to keep in mind in the future.

But overall, the Stone Road is definitely holding my interest.

I'm glad you're enjoying it!

The boys name is Bei... it is mentioned in the first chapter, but then not after (as I recall).

Spoiler for Hiden:
You're right his wife has no name... I never quite worked out why. Something to do with by not naming her, but showing their love (I hope) the eventual change in their relationship would still be poignant, and without a name, you are free to think of her as your own spouse etc

And there are many "kick-ass" women in Book #2, even more in Book #3 :)
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Offline Eclipse

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #32 on: June 10, 2016, 05:49:01 PM »
Spoiler for Hiden:
For me when a character has no name I expect them to die or not to be seen again,is one of the bad -ass women in the next book the one I wanted to see more of?
« Last Edit: June 10, 2016, 05:53:46 PM by Eclipse »
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Offline G_R_Matthews

Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #33 on: June 10, 2016, 05:57:30 PM »
Spoiler for Hiden:
For me when a character has no name I expect them to die or not to be seen again,is one of the bad -ass women in the next book the one I wanted to see more of?

Spoiler for Hiden:
The man with no name - Clint Eastwood films (Fistful of Dollars). Though there is no way that anyone is killing Clint Eastwood in those films :)

She is there... more in #3 - hard to say without ruining it.
The lady in the camp, the teacher, is there too...
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Offline tebakutis

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #34 on: June 11, 2016, 04:55:42 PM »
Just finished Chapter 20! Quite a lot has happened in the past 10 chapters. I agree with others that the pace of the book increases as it winds up. I'm enjoying my read. Here are my thoughts.

Spoiler for Hiden:
I didn't necessarily connect the golden cows to the ritual in the prologue, but other folks did, so it was cool to see that paid off with the cows coming apart. Really cool imagery.

I liked that Zhou managed to give the Wubei people a fighting chance, even if it didn't work out. The fact that he was so laughably inept at the beginning is making his progression toward a decent protagonist satisfying. I'm definitely team Zhou now, where I wasn't in the first 10 chapters.

The siege and conquering of Wubei's capital was well done. The way the battle was written was very grim and visceral. Good stuff!

While I liked the magical defenses (the four lines, as Zhou called them) I felt they came out of left field. I would have liked to see those sort of defenses foreshadowed earlier, as I wasn't sure (when they started going off) what was happening - whether they were active magic, called by Wubei magicians, or passive traps. So when they started going off, I wasn't sure what was activating them.

That said, I do like the idea that both sides can plant magical traps around their cities. I also assume the Fang-shi knew those traps were there, and knew the only way to trigger them was to send in soldiers to die. Bascially, taking the Zap Brannigan approach to warfare! That's pretty cold, but it's already pretty clear the Fang-Shi only care about results, so it felt in character for them.

I can definitely see your struggle to keep Huang relatable (BTW ... his name changed to Haung at some point in the later chapters, might want to check for typos?) in the face of the Fang-shi's evil magic and the treacherous ways of the Yaart, but I lost a bit of respect for him in this section ... mainly because of his naivety, which I didn't expect. Based on what I'd seen earlier, this felt out of character.

Did he really think that an army and leaders that would slaughter an entire camp under a flag of true would *not* rape, torture, and murder the people of Wubei's capital with reckless abandon? He seemed genuinely shocked when he found the children hanging from the rafter and the agonized mother, and that seemed odd to me. If he truly didn't know that was coming, he hasn't been paying much attention. :P

I also wasn't completely sold on him saving Zhou. So far, we've seen Huang as completely loyal to his leaders and the Jiin-Wei, and to not only allow, but aid an enemy officer in escaping, is a blatant act of treason. It seemed strange to me that Huang would flip so completely in such a short time, but maybe we'll see more explanation of this in later chapters. I think more foreshadowing (perhaps seeing him defy orders earlier, rather than obeying?) would have sold this a bit better. I've only seen him loyal up to this point.

Overall, the Yaart are absolutely coming across as a ruthless, evil faction, which, while it certainly gives us someone to root for (Wubei) also makes the story a tiny bit less interesting, at least for me. I wish Yaart had some redeeming features (or if they do, we haven't seen them) other than just being dicks. But maybe we'll get some balance in later chapters. If not, it's not a big deal, just a personal preference.

Really felt for Zhou when he reached his burning home, and I hope his family is still alive. Given they were in the cellar, it's entirely possible. I also want to know what was going on with the world of white lines and the red snakes. Basically, Zhou transformed from mildly competent staff fighter (which we saw in the battle with the bandits) to total dual sword wielding badass, who could take down three trained soldiers without breaking a sweat. This *has* to be magical, and that has me really curious about how you're going to explain it. Was he possessed by some spirit of vengeance? Is there some untapped power inside him we haven't seen yet, that even he's not aware of? Either way, it's cool and I can't wait to see what it is.

Good stuff!

Offline Lanko

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #35 on: June 11, 2016, 10:10:10 PM »
Here he started as Haung. I was shocked to see that comment so I went to check. I even searched for Huang and nothing. You sure, @tebakutis::)

But yea, it does have a bunch of typos (Solider, to tomorrow, etc) and some words that seem a bit out of place (arsehole, bugger, terrorist).
« Last Edit: June 11, 2016, 10:11:58 PM by Lanko »
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Offline G_R_Matthews

Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #36 on: June 11, 2016, 10:23:10 PM »
Here he started as Haung. I was shocked to see that comment so I went to check. I even searched for Huang and nothing. You sure, @tebakutis::)

But yea, it does have a bunch of typos (Solider, to tomorrow, etc) and some words that seem a bit out of place (arsehole, bugger, terrorist).

I wonder if he has an old version?

Swear words are hard to use... most begin as slang.  Bugger, as an insult was first used in 1555... Fuck in 1535, maybe 1310. Out of place, maybe... but they appear in a lot of film subtitles ;)

I will find the rest of those typos one day!

Edit: found two soliders... is that even a word? Corrected them and I'll upload new version tomorrow - ones of the joys of SP :)
« Last Edit: June 11, 2016, 10:31:37 PM by G_R_Matthews »
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Offline tebakutis

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #37 on: June 12, 2016, 01:40:17 AM »
Here he started as Haung. I was shocked to see that comment so I went to check. I even searched for Huang and nothing. You sure, @tebakutis::)

But yea, it does have a bunch of typos (Solider, to tomorrow, etc) and some words that seem a bit out of place (arsehole, bugger, terrorist).

I wonder if he has an old version?

Swear words are hard to use... most begin as slang.  Bugger, as an insult was first used in 1555... Fuck in 1535, maybe 1310. Out of place, maybe... but they appear in a lot of film subtitles ;)

I will find the rest of those typos one day!

Edit: found two soliders... is that even a word? Corrected them and I'll upload new version tomorrow - ones of the joys of SP :)

Don't get too freaked out. I could easily just be nuts. It happens. :)

EDIT: Bwahaha. Note my own comments from Prologue to Chapter 9...

Quote
I'm intrigued by whatever plan the Jin-Wei are hatching. I'm not sure how the gold lactating cows are involved (never seen *that* in a book before) but I'm wondering if this a ploy to get the Wubei to help them build a road. Zhou so far seems relatively ineffective, which I find a bit disappointing. Huang, by comparison, seems to be doing exactly what his commanders want, though it isn't yet clear where their scheme is going.

I spelled Haung as "Huang" and internalized it. The mind is a strange thing sometimes.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2016, 01:42:29 AM by tebakutis »

Offline Lanko

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #38 on: June 12, 2016, 02:20:09 AM »

Don't get too freaked out. I could easily just be nuts. It happens. :)

EDIT: Bwahaha. Note my own comments from Prologue to Chapter 9...

I spelled Haung as "Huang" and internalized it. The mind is a strange thing sometimes.

I went to that thread and actually noticed I spelled it Huang too... and Jmack and m3mnoch too  ::)

Hm... maybe it was really Huang and he changed it while we were reading? Can that be done?  ::) If you update something does it change automatically over here too?
« Last Edit: June 12, 2016, 02:38:42 AM by Lanko »
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Offline Raptori

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #39 on: June 12, 2016, 03:13:12 AM »
I noticed that you guys were all spelling it wrong, it was definitely always Haung. Pretty sure Huang is a more standard spelling though, so it's understandable!  :P
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Offline G_R_Matthews

Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #40 on: June 12, 2016, 08:30:42 AM »
No it can be updated without permission.

Yep, Huang is the normal spelling, but for some reason I went with Haung... it is an alternative ancient China after all :)
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Offline m3mnoch

Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #41 on: June 12, 2016, 03:01:12 PM »
ha!

i was in complete disbelief.  went back to chapter two.  searched for "haung" and the whole page lit up.

i agree with teb, minds are weird.

speaking of, i had to search for chapter two because there's not a a chapter list on the kindle.  it's not a big deal, tho, because i calculate locations to track position between my tts version and my kindle.  just might be weird for other people.  i'm pretty sure you can just use a "-TOC" parameter in pandoc or calibre and it'll automatically add a table of contents to your book.


No it can be updated without permission.

remember when we talked about readers who were control freaks and drm and stuff?  good times.

Offline G_R_Matthews

Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #42 on: June 12, 2016, 03:06:21 PM »
ha!

i was in complete disbelief.  went back to chapter two.  searched for "haung" and the whole page lit up.

i agree with teb, minds are weird.

speaking of, i had to search for chapter two because there's not a a chapter list on the kindle.  it's not a big deal, tho, because i calculate locations to track position between my tts version and my kindle.  just might be weird for other people.  i'm pretty sure you can just use a "-TOC" parameter in pandoc or calibre and it'll automatically add a table of contents to your book.


No it can be updated without permission.

remember when we talked about readers who were control freaks and drm and stuff?  good times.

And that's why I should never type on my phone... It CANNOT be updated without permission! Amazon have a whole process you have to go through :)
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Offline Lanko

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #43 on: June 12, 2016, 07:25:51 PM »
Mind playing tricks? Nah, I'm just gonna blame the author anyway! How dare the text in front of me doesn't appear exactly as I had envisioned it?  ::)
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Offline Lanko

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Re: Part 2: Chapter 10 to Chapter 20
« Reply #44 on: June 14, 2016, 02:03:43 AM »

The boys name is Bei... it is mentioned in the first chapter, but then not after (as I recall).

Spoiler for Hiden:
You're right his wife has no name... I never quite worked out why. Something to do with by not naming her, but showing their love (I hope) the eventual change in their relationship would still be poignant, and without a name, you are free to think of her as your own spouse etc

And there are many "kick-ass" women in Book #2, even more in Book #3 :)

Hey, G.R. just thought I would mention this:

Spoiler for Hiden:
The boy's name is mentioned as Shui in book 2, chapter 7:

... He recalled picking up his wife, swinging her around during the early days of their marriage, before Shui was born, when they had time to dance...
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