September 29, 2020, 10:03:17 PM

Poll

Please vote:

Shadow Hunter by SJ Budd
5 (4.8%)
The Moments Before by Eli Freysson
2 (1.9%)
A Garden Fit for Remembrance by Doctor Chill
7 (6.7%)
Huntsman and the Doe by SugoiMe
3 (2.9%)
The Fall of Niarm by TOMunro
7 (6.7%)
Three Times Seals the Spell by Jmack
6 (5.7%)
Big Bad Wolf by ClintACK
2 (1.9%)
danyell and horace by m3mnoch
2 (1.9%)
The Golden Hoard by Elfy
7 (6.7%)
Steel Alphabet by wakarimasen
6 (5.7%)
A Gentleman Keeps His Secrets by RussetDivinity
7 (6.7%)
What Really Happened... by Rukaio Alter
6 (5.7%)
Complications by Saurus and Raptori
6 (5.7%)
The Braying Jack by Jeryn
10 (9.5%)
The Escape by Nora
6 (5.7%)
Above Trackless Seas, Beneath Empty Skies by Carter
7 (6.7%)
Book your dream vacation today! by Henry Dale
2 (1.9%)
Survivors by ArcaneArtsVelho
6 (5.7%)
Charlie by Giddler
6 (5.7%)
A Warrior's Sacrifice by NightWrite
2 (1.9%)

Total Members Voted: 24

Voting closed: July 31, 2015, 09:38:44 PM

Author Topic: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread  (Read 23087 times)

Offline Elfy

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2015, 12:37:27 AM »
Obviously can't enforce either of them, but it's a bit unethical.
I will expand your TBR pile.

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Offline NightWrite

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #16 on: July 07, 2015, 02:21:28 PM »
How does everyone else feel about someone entering the contest but not voting?

I think a minimum of rules is good, so I'm not in favor of any proclamation about it.
But I do think it's sort of rude.
"Look at me! But I'm not going to look at you."
Yeah I wasn't expecting any new rules or anything, just wondered what people thought. I do think it'd be a bit rude, though obviously less so than just voting for yourself would've been!  ;D
While I wouldn't demand the shunning of anyone not voting if they submitted, I'd still be disappointed if they didn't at least read the other submissions; this hypothetical person isn't the only one to put time and effort into their submission. We as a whole, however, have no idea the circumstances of every person involved in the monthly challenges. So while its easy to vote some simply may not vote for one reason or another despite having put the time in to reading the other stories.

Offline JMack

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #17 on: July 07, 2015, 02:57:19 PM »
How does everyone else feel about someone entering the contest but not voting?

I think a minimum of rules is good, so I'm not in favor of any proclamation about it.
But I do think it's sort of rude.
"Look at me! But I'm not going to look at you."
Yeah I wasn't expecting any new rules or anything, just wondered what people thought. I do think it'd be a bit rude, though obviously less so than just voting for yourself would've been!  ;D
While I wouldn't demand the shunning of anyone not voting if they submitted, I'd still be disappointed if they didn't at least read the other submissions; this hypothetical person isn't the only one to put time and effort into their submission. We as a whole, however, have no idea the circumstances of every person involved in the monthly challenges. So while its easy to vote some simply may not vote for one reason or another despite having put the time in to reading the other stories.
Very fair and true.
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Offline Saraband

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2015, 10:53:40 AM »
I didn't manage to take part this month, but I will start reading the stories in the next few days and hopefully make use of my 5 (wow!) votes  :)
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2015, 06:55:49 PM »
I've read 12 of the 20 so far (not necessarily in order) and already have 4 with a 4.5 or 5 score :D
Unfortunately there are a few 2s as well, that didn't really hit me in the right spot, so to speak... (although it makes voting easier)

This leaves me 8 to read during the last week of the month, as the next 12 days are going to be really busy (and away). Doable!
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Offline m3mnoch

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2015, 09:27:28 PM »
I've read 12 of the 20 so far (not necessarily in order) and already have 4 with a 4.5 or 5 score :D
Unfortunately there are a few 2s as well, that didn't really hit me in the right spot, so to speak... (although it makes voting easier)

This leaves me 8 to read during the last week of the month, as the next 12 days are going to be really busy (and away). Doable!
right?!  is it always this hard?  i'm struggling!


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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2015, 09:31:59 PM »
Well, this is the month with the highest number of entries, and with a higher word count on top of it, so there's a whole lot more to read this time.
Usually it's not that hard, though :)

My suggestion: make a list with all the entries, and write down your score as you read. This way you don't have to worry about keeping them all in your mind at the end, when you have to decide.

If you mean being hard to choose your votes amongst all the good stories, then, yes, it's hard: but a good thing ;D
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Offline m3mnoch

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2015, 10:23:53 PM »
Well, this is the month with the highest number of entries, and with a higher word count on top of it, so there's a whole lot more to read this time.
Usually it's not that hard, though :)

My suggestion: make a list with all the entries, and write down your score as you read. This way you don't have to worry about keeping them all in your mind at the end, when you have to decide.

If you mean being hard to choose your votes amongst all the good stories, then, yes, it's hard: but a good thing ;D

indeed!  i meant "hard to pick 5 favorites" -- i've had to start cataloging precisely as you're describing.

i've also decided i need to wholeheartedly step up my game.  if i'm going to remotely compete with the folks hanging out in the writing contests, i'm going to have to seriously buckle down.  it's awesome!

p.s.  if you guys haven't noticed yet, i'm pretty excitable.  and, if any of you ever get a chance to talk to me in real life, you'll forever picture me bouncing with excitement and waving my hands around as i "totally talk about things and stuff!"  as any of my friends can attest, it's my thing.

Offline Raptori

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #23 on: July 13, 2015, 10:32:32 PM »
I've read 12 of the 20 so far (not necessarily in order) and already have 4 with a 4.5 or 5 score :D
Unfortunately there are a few 2s as well, that didn't really hit me in the right spot, so to speak... (although it makes voting easier)

This leaves me 8 to read during the last week of the month, as the next 12 days are going to be really busy (and away). Doable!
You can't say that and not say which ones you liked, surely that's against the rules!  :P
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Offline ScarletBea

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #24 on: July 13, 2015, 11:42:17 PM »
Ah, but what if there are other great ones in the unread ones, and then I end up not voting for those that *now* have got the top votes? They'd be disappointed.
And I can still change my mind, hehe

So my rules say I can keep my mouth shut fingers quiet ;D
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Offline Raptori

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2015, 11:54:42 PM »
Ah, but what if there are other great ones in the unread ones, and then I end up not voting for those that *now* have got the top votes? They'd be disappointed.
And I can still change my mind, hehe

So my rules say I can keep my mouth shut fingers quiet ;D
Hey now, no need to be all logical about it.  :P
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Offline m3mnoch

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #26 on: July 15, 2015, 04:41:32 AM »
phew.  finally voted.

this was my first time voting, so i had to take notes about what i liked and didn't like about each story, gave them a 1-to-5 score, and finally added in a mini-synopsis to jog the ol' memory.  after that, i shuffled them around in the list, ordered favorite to least.  picked the top 5.

i feel like i've got my process down now, yo!  bring on this month's voting!

Offline ClintACK

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #27 on: July 15, 2015, 05:52:22 PM »
Finally read everything -- and have a list of 11 I'd like to vote for.   :o

I think I'm in favor of likes.  It would be nice to be able to like all 11, even though I can only vote for 5.

Offline SJBudd

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #28 on: July 21, 2015, 11:53:44 PM »
Whoa, finally finished reading all 20 entries, someone had totalled the entire word count to be in the region of 29,000 words!
Even though we have five votes to cast it was a tough call! Some really great stories this month

Offline wakarimasen

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Re: [Jun 2015] - Multiple POVs - Voting Thread
« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2015, 06:06:35 PM »
Well... that took a while. Glad it was flash fiction this month so I had the time to read all those.
I've done a couple of sentence critique of each story if writers are interested in feedback. I'm going to pop it here in a spoiler.
I'm still working on critiquing stuff so please, for the love of the [Select fantasy messianic figure/ magic weapon] please don't be offended by anything.
Spoiler for Hiden:
@SJBudd  - Shadow Hunter
Popped out of italics in mouse’s view. Not sure about “like I said” to change view, crosses the third wall a bit.
Nice short sentence work for getting across the desire to kill, but the point starts to get laboured.
Interesting swapping from first to third person, but I’m not sure it really works.
A few places in the latter paras could do with some grammatical attention – maybe a comma in things like: His skin is punctured everything feels so cold
Think it would have been better without explicitly saying he’s a cat. It was pretty obvious and the ambiguity could have worked in its favour.

@Eli Freysson The Moments Before
There was a few grammatical things; an And after a comma, men orcs . Sentences a little long, slight repetition (i.e. poorer / poor in first para).
Liked the elf. Nice feeling of unearthliness – seemed more comfortable writing as them. Towers among cottages didn’t make the orcs seem very threatening. Nice world building but not a lot happens.

@Doctor Chill A garden for remembrance

Not sure about sentence structure;
as strained as taught rope. Pleading almost, if a professional duelist could be anything of the such.
perhaps something more like;
as strained as taught rope, almost pleading; if a professional duelist could be anything of the such.
Could do with cutting down a bit, would remove the occasional repition – “i.e. her garden. The garden she had”
It seems the grammar of the sentence’s let it down a bit. I liked the sentiment at the end but felt lost about the characters motivations.

@SugoiMe
Classic structure, nice vocabulary. Not a fan of poems myself but I liked the idea in this one and while a few of the rhymes felt a little strained ( come to crash your party since..) it would have been at home as one of those songs that the jongleurs sing in the Demon Cycle books.

@Jmack Three times seals the spell
Like the characterisation of the twins. Enjoyed the use of Three of Her Closest, gave you an insight into how Janine felt about a sister’s pals (i.e. not enough to name them). Not much of a change in POV for a multiple POV story.  Gemma seemed a bit vacuous from her choice of friends and track record with men. That didn’t really gel with her pov at the end.
 
@ClintACK Big Bad Wolf
Ambitious little tale. Not sure I really followed it, especially the parts with the “mother”. Maybe a touch more context. I liked the short, quick sentences but the longer ones seemed, by comparison, a bit clunky i.e...
Virginia heard the stairs creak, crept out of bed, slipped into the hall, and crouched at the top of the stairs, hugging her knees and making herself as small as possible.

@m3mnoch Danyell and Horace
Had a few sentences I felt had too many parts :
Horace let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and dropped his arms to his sides.  Could have split that I thought.
Nice sense of physical difference between characters. Good sense of frustration from Horace, so no need to labour the point. Enjoyed Danyells view point, would have liked the piece to have been split more evenly between them.


@Elfy  Golden Hoard
Some redundant language: The archaeologist’s eyes narrowed under the bushy red eyebrows, the colour of which had gave him his nickname.
perhaps;
The archaeologist’s eyes narrowed under the bushy red eyebrows that had earned him his nickname.
Continuity and surprise – found his distance from the treasure confusing.
Alvarez – first sentence of his POV actually sounds like it should have been in Rusty’s POV
Cartoonish characters but I loved the grumpy dragon at the end. Liked the switch of 3rd and 1st person.

 
@wakarimasen – steel alphabet
A tour de force of unassailable excellenc… yeah, alright. That one was mine.

 
@RussetDivinity A Gentleman Keeps His Secrets
Really like the prose in this one. Small touches  like; He was startled by small noises and shied away from shadows. Nice length to the paragraphs and sentences, flowed well at the start, sentences became a little less efficient as it went on. Liked that it didn’t try to end on some epic plot twist.

@rukaio alter What really happened…
"when the Reaper distracted him by throwing sand in his eyes"
Where’d the sand come from in a castle?
Liked this one, found the exasperated captain quite comical. The fact it was fun to write clearly comes across. I’d have thrown in swearing, but it’s refreshing to not see it in that kind of exchange. Perhaps I have even reached a “lesser enlightenment.”
I seemed to glaze a bit when they each defeated their reapers, could have upped the fantastical claims being made rather than try to have any continuity. By which I mean don’t even explain the fight, simply have a dog / boar / dragon walk in/ leap in/ smash through wall.

@Raptori complications.
Pretty cat dividers, shouldn’t matter, but it does. I like them and think they break up the text nicely.
Not sure about the hyphens, feels like they should be commas in most places and there are some commas that shouldn’t be there.
"following her everywhere, and the little rascal"
A little confusion about who peppermint is talking about with “they” in pepper’s first para.
Nice build up of tension as the pov switches. Also liked the fact that they don’t “meet up”.

@Jeryn The Braying Jack -V
First Para: “Seem” is one of my danger words if I write seem its normally because I couldn’t find something better. It might have worked better if it had “sounded” of madness so that the “sound of money being made” worked better in opposition. Liked the dizzying possibilities of who wants to kill him – especially his own wife. Gives a nice impression of a man who is self aware of his despicable nature.
Liked the way it panned out as well.

@Nora the escape
opening line labours her stealth a bit, if she’s running silently do we need to know her feet were soundless?
Like how the shift between the sates of mind wasn’t too clear, not sure if that was deliberate but it make sense when you understand what’s going on.

@Carter above trackless seas, below empty skies
1st para – seems odd to use raging as an adjective for something in the past.
I found the rhythm of the sentences a little distracting; too many commas slowing it down sometimes. I think that was what gave it a certain indulgent, wordy feel for me.
That sounds horribly harsh doesn’t it? Sorry dude. I’m still working on how to critique usefully.

@Henry dale, book your dream vacation today
From first para: It'd been a dream since he was a kid.
What had?
A little repetition like with the “towering towers” when they’re landing.
Liked the general setting but it felt a little too familiar in a Jurassic sense, if you know what I mean.
Could have made more of Lloyd’s slimy character, I kind of wanted him to get eaten.

@ArcanArtsVelho  Survivors
I liked the owls swoop, but it built well with short sentences then had a long one at impact, would have felt more jolting to maintain the snappy rhythm.
Some bits seemed a little contradictory like;
He never saw me coming, there was no fight. He tried to run, flailing at me with his limbs
How can he run if he never saw him coming. If there was no fight, how come he was flailing his limbs.

@Giddler Charlie
Liked the sense of anticipation this built up. The quality of the writing seemed really nice, but there were a couple of missing words here and there (I always do that, regardless of how many edits). It was anice concept but the exposition of what had gone on between Charlie and the kids and the subsequent leap at the end felt a little “Tell” rather than “Show”.

@NightWrite A warrior’s sacrifice
After reading a lot in one go I found it noticeable not having extra line breaks on new paragraphs. It’s a presentation thing, but its something to think about.
It’s a solid bit of writing but does seem to be heavy on the fantasy tropes. I had a problem even noticing that it switched POV as well.