October 30, 2020, 02:16:48 AM

Author Topic: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread  (Read 831 times)

Offline Alex Hormann

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Re: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread
« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2020, 03:16:40 PM »

My vote almooooooost went for Alex's poem, but I still can't make myself like one more than a good prose story. I definitely enjoyed it though, I liked the conjured images and idea, and it wasn't pretentious.

Thanks.  :) I wasn't expecting any votes, but had fun writing it.

I voted for @Jake Baelish
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Offline Lady Ty

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Re: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2020, 07:16:01 AM »
@Alex Hormann , I thoroughly enjoyed your poem, as I can relate to all those thoughts and feelings, you have understanding beyond your years. But  despite how much I would love to write of the wonder, happiness & heartache in my long life which spins around in my head,  somehow  at this stage the energy is missing. Appreciate and thank you for your writing but my final choice went to @Nora

Nora  Glad to see you writing here again, I loved the originality and details in the setting and above all  the empathy of The Teacher.  :D

@Kindly  Many congratulations on your win, it is unusual for a first entry. Made me think - could I bear to go back and have all those years again ? Answer no, despite the health benefits, content with my wrinkles and the life I have lived. Look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.  ;D
« Last Edit: August 24, 2020, 07:30:32 AM by Lady Ty »
“This is the problem with even lesser demons. They come to your doorstep in velvet coats and polished shoes. They tip their hats and smile and demonstrate good table manners. They never show you their tails.” 
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Offline xiagan

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Re: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2020, 12:55:30 PM »
Congrats, Kindly! Don't let any pressure build from the fact you won with your first entry. ;)
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Offline Nora

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Re: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2020, 02:09:45 PM »
Aww thanks @Lady Ty !!! I'm glad to be back too... I've decided to apply this brand new way of tackling the hobbies I don't feel like doing but still want to practice : Just set tim in the day where it's "that hobby time" and do it no matter how inspired you feel.

Definitely been working for 3D, which tends to be tedious work anyway and just needs the hours being put in, but writing... well, I'm surprised I managed to make teacher out of such a system.

Will do my best to seduce you again this month... As soon as I get to writing.
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Wishy washy lyricism and maudlin unrequited love are my specialty - so said Lady_Ty

Offline Jake Baelish

Re: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2020, 10:48:56 AM »
Congrats on winning your first contest Kindly!
I could easily have gone any which way with my vote but ended up voting for Caith (3rd time in a row, guess I like your style, will miss you not posting this month  ;D ),
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Follow Prince Leon Atlantus as he forms a dangerous friendship with his captors, while held hostage across a world headed for war...

Offline Kindly

Re: [JUL 2020] - Old Man's Tale - Voting Thread
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2020, 06:02:23 PM »
I liked all entries, but really loved Nora's. The main character will stay with me a long time.

Aw, that awesome thanks! I voted for yours! I really enjoyed the fact it reminded me of the old mother in Huxley's Brave New World, living in a reserve and being one of the last to have given birth naturally. Also enjoyed the fact the twist of what actually happened was the old lady taking on the lie for the sake of a child. This could/should have been explored better imo, for example : maybe in a society where aging simply isn't en vogue anymore, carrying the weight of someone's death might be an even larger stigma? As it is I don't think it would have mattered really if people knew it was the kid's fault. IIRC it's the guy's fault for doing stupid risky stuff to begin with :-p
But I enjoyed it because I was able to do my own mental maths and fill in the world as I read on.

Definitely areas you can progress on, but for a first entry it was really good, what worked best imo was how well contained the short story was.

So yes, congrats and well deserved win!


Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback too. Adding a bit of an extra taboo on taking a life would have helped quite a bit, I think. As it was, I knew there was a problem, that the conflict wasn't as large as the characters made it out to be, but I couldn't figure out a way to fix it.

This contest was fun!