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Author Topic: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread  (Read 3657 times)

Offline xiagan

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[Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« on: April 02, 2016, 09:20:33 PM »
@Nora is right, the critique threads aren't as active as they used to be (we didn't have one for January and nobody missed it) but just in case somebody wants a critique or wants to give one, here it is. :)

---------

So here is the possibility to get critiques for your stories entered in our writing contest - and to give critique as well.

So what we're doing is this:
1. Everybody who wants critique for his story posts in here.*
2. Everybody who wants to do a critique for a specific story (whose writer has asked for critique) posts it in here.

IF this thread is overrun fast, I'm splitting it so that every story has it's own one to avoid confusion.

* I know that critique isn't always easy to handle, especially if you are not used to it. So if you feel more comfortable receiving it in private, people can send it via pm. They can post here that they sent a critique via pm so that others know about it.

At the moment I don't think it necessary that we create a system balancing given/received critiques. However, if it turns out to be unfair and some people are giving critiques without receiving some (or the other way round) we have to add one.

Basic rules for critiquing:

This is just a small guideline for those that haven't done critiques before, stolen from this forum's writing section.
   

Quote
    Critiquing Other’s Work
        1. Please read what the poster is asking for before you post your critique.
        2. Critique the writing, not the writer.  Never, “You are...” or “You should...” but rather, “The writing is...” or “The story should...”
        3. We all have different levels of writing ability here, keep that in mind when critiquing.
        4. Find what is right in each piece as well as what is wrong.
        5. Remember that subject matter is personal. You don't have to like a story to give it a fair critique.
        6. Remember what your biases are and critique around them.
        7. Remember that real people wrote this stuff, and real people have real feelings. Things you may not say while critiquing: “That’s awful.” “That’s stupid.” “You couldn’t write your way out of a paper bag.”
"Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis." (Laplace)

Offline Henry Dale

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Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2016, 09:24:10 PM »
I wasn't there in January, so critiques? Yes please  8)
The opportunity to improve as a group is never wasted.

Online ScarletBea

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Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2016, 09:40:09 PM »
I'm not really a critiquer...
I normally just write a quick comment next to the story after reading, so it can help me decide later when I'm stumped for votes.
In yours I have "very funny but grammar errors", so unfortunately when I was stumped, I ended up voting for another one.

Still, yours had one of the best sentences "Facing her was a pink pony with curly hair. Its eyes were malevolent and dreadful and full of darkness." ;D
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Offline Lanko

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Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2016, 11:10:36 PM »
Hah, I remember I wrote it in the last 2-3 days and posted it at late night in the last day. I'm expecting tons of  grammar errors. There was even two whole sections I hit Ctrl X to order properly later and I got distracted by something and managed to forget to put the thing back and kept writing as if it was there.. Only realized a day later. Probably some parts are not making sense, but we will see.

Anyway, shoot at me!
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Offline Mr.J

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Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2016, 12:02:01 AM »
Would be hilarious to have someone professionally critique my 'piece', but I am quite curious to how and why it got 4 votes :P

So don't waste any time critiquing it :P

Offline Nora

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Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2016, 12:05:19 AM »
Would be hilarious to have someone professionally critique my 'piece', but I am quite curious to how and why it got 4 votes :P

So don't waste any time critiquing it :P

I voted for you... It wasn't a masterpiece of writing, but I knew the characters, and I liked the fresh setting, the verbal duel I could very much picture watching on Youtube. A few of your lines were a bit out of character, but I loved the moral debate they got into, so it made me laugh. The insults were cool and fresh as well  :P
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Offline Blackthorn

[Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2016, 04:27:05 AM »
Now I'm curious as to what everyone thought of my impromptu poetry.
It wasn't the kind of thing that worked well for the competition,  but did at least flow well?

Offline Henry Dale

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Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2016, 09:54:14 AM »
@ScarletBea
Your story was...oh wait  ::)

@Lanko
Decent writing but not quite my style. It reads like it's just a list of victories of the protagonist and with hardly anyone to challenge him there's not much of a thrill to be found.

@Mr.J
It seemed to be more in the format of a dry talkshow. Despite it being pretty much all dialogue you manage to spice things up. You insert enough breaks (coughing etc) so it doesn't get stale too fast. Maybe you could've made the host more flamboyant? I'm imagining this as those talkshows on the Hunger Games with the guy with blue hair. Put in some jingle, applause etc.  :)

@Nora
I loved this premise of arena/gladiator fights, mixed with something mysterious magical. Some of your similes were pretty à point: "he were a sword wielding medium-rare steak"  :P
Perhaps you shouldn't have gone for the comedy here "YOU HAVE 593 WORDS TO GO." and instead keep up the serious act, because it didn't really suit the story (my opinion)

@Blackthorn
Poetry yay!  :D You were my number 4 choice, sorry I didn't vote for you.
I suck at poetry tho so bear with my critique  ;)
I was glad it had some story to it. A lot of poetry gets too artsy, but you had a good metre accompanying a nice plot. Artsy stuff might be nice too but it doesn't really have a spot in a writing contest.
I did notice you had a structure of [block of text] [single line] [block of text].... There was one place that missed the single line, was there a purpose for this? It didn't really seem like a pivotal moment to warrant a break in structure.


Hope everyone's helped with these mini-critiques. If you have questions, do PM me.  :)

Offline m3mnoch

Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2016, 02:50:10 PM »
i wonder if the new folks would like critiques of their stories?  we had quite a few in the fanfic month.  i remember my first few entries.  i was all "why doesn't anyone like this?!?"  now, when i go back and re-read them, i'm all "oh, that's why."

especially since (for me at least) i either voted for them, or they were in my personal massive tie for third place.

so:  Aidan Kolt, Z.Topping, @Timnacious, @Nerf

what do you think, guys?  are you up for a critique?  we could even pm them to you if you don't want them in the thread.

Offline Blackthorn

Re: [Feb 2016] - Fanfic - Critique Thread
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2016, 06:53:03 PM »
Quote
I did notice you had a structure of [block of text] [single line] [block of text].... There was one place that missed the single line, was there a purpose for this? It didn't really seem like a pivotal moment to warrant a break

Yes actually there is a very important for the break in structure.....ready?

I forgot to separate that line  :-X